Untitled

[meghnafox-deactivated20220118]

it’s always ‘wyd’ and never wanna dance round the kitchen in the refrigerator light?

[introvert-unicorn-deactivated20]

The Language Of Flowers

Acacia: Hidden love, beauty in withdrawal

Amaryllis: Pride, a hard won success

Anemone: Vanishing hopes

Bells of Ireland: Wish for good luck

Carnation: Fascination, love and distinction

Daffodil (Narcissus): Honesty and truth

Dahlia flower: Warnings and change

Daisy: Innocence, loyal love and purity

Delphinium: Open heart, ardent attachement

Gardenia: Symbol of secret love

Gladiolus: Remembrance, faithfulness and sincerity

Hyacinth: I'm sorry, please forgive me.

Iris: Eloquence

Lily (general) : Purity of the heart and refined beauty

Lily of the valley: Return of happiness

Marigold: Passion and creativity

Orchid: Beauty, refinement and love

Peony: Happy marriage

Lavender: Love at first sight

Red rose: Love, respect, courage and passion

White rose: Purity, secrecy, silence, innocence and charm

Sunflower: Good luck and ambition

Tulip: Irresistible love

Violet: Faithfulness, modesty and delicate love

Zinnia: Lasting affection, daily remembrance and good memories

[badjokesbyjeff]

Today, I shocked the hell out of the postman by opening the door completely naked.

I’m not sure what surprised him most: my nudity, or the fact that I know where he lives.

[badjokesbyjeff]

Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3s, 5s and 7s?

Because they can’t even.

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

i cant even

[riordanverseinc]

i just think it’d be Very Funny if whenever Will Solace cracked his knuckles, they just lit up like a glow stick

*crack*

*👊🔅🔆*

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

i imagine him in like an aesthetic instagram photoshoot with the lights concept and you see the light shine on his face really prettily and he's giving an intense look that makes him look ethereal and very serious and then you look down and hes doing fricking jazz handssss😩😩😭😭

[221turtlesinthetardis]

Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules: 

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.

[wetfag-deactivated20170404]

just a reminder that apparently anybody who isn’t ace cheats

[exemplarybehaviour]

this literally says the aces are cheating…………. because… you can’t have five aces in a deck………….it’s the Opposite of the second comment…

[lostoldplanet]

Reading comprehension on this site is piss-poor

[mystrothedefender]

How dare you say aces piss on the poor

[typhlonectes]

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

ATHENA WAS WISE AF BRO

ok so the story goes like this: once upon a time, long long ago, like 2 yrs ago, while i was in the colony bath, i.e. swimming pool, i came across the paths of a daft duffer. daft duffer(a boy duh) asked me if women grow hair on their coochie! before i could reply to daft duffer, daft duffer’s friend, slightly less daft duffer, then said ‘ofc they do haha’ leaving me unsatisfied. so anyway i was having a bath the other day and uk completing arguments nd stuff i never got to complete, uk as u do, nd i came to this one, i wanted to give a sarcastic reply to it, nd thought of saying, ‘no no, didn’t you know? we grow snakes down there. yea. snakes. due to the number of sexual assaults women go thru, our bodies evolved and started growing snakes down there so that no one cud enter our bodies and if someone tried the snakes would bite it off.’ and then it hit me, MEDUSA! MEDUSA HAD SNAKE FOR HAIR! which means... her coochie hair were also snakes! so ATHENA, the goddess of wisdom, was actually super damn wise. she made a boon in the disguise of a curse. for every man it looked like a curse, cus wut cud be worse than not having sex with a man right? wrong! being raped by one! which no one cud do to her now that she had snakes guarding her frickin coochie! not to mention she cud turn every man who looked into her eyes into a statue. athena knew she could not punish the gods and if she didnt punish one of them, she wud not have respect since like who tf lets someone who did the frick frack at her temple just go?? and a mortal at tht??? must be a very lenient person. which athena did not wanna be seen as. so she did what she had to do. medusa was a worshipper to athena before this so obv athena had a soft spot for her nd instead of being brash she made a super wise decision. i am so frickin proud of athen rn. admittedly medusa deserved better, nd men were shit, cus she lost her job cus she was raped there by a man, she cud do nothing to the man cus otherwise she wud be punished cus he was a god! she found tht everyone she saw turned to stone, so she went with her sisters so a secluded island to not trouble anyone, and then what? a man! again! duh! he comes to kill her for frickin sport like she did nothing to him. he just decided lol she got cursed lemme go kill her. which is a very gud metaphor for idiots teasing disabled ppl. he killed her nd even after that he used her head as a frickin trophy nd like used her head still for his own gain, admittedly not in the way men usually do but its a metaphor for it. so yes medusa deserved better, but athena was wise af bro.

[fiery-ifrit]

Lambrose smut

I wrote some lambrose smut i hope you enjoy (warning nsfw):

Keep reading

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

too much for innocent little me, too much, i require holy water.

[wet-monsoon]

i’m convinced that the ice age franchise won’t end until the squirrel that always chases after the nut gets an equally hideous girlfriend with Squirrel Tits™ and eyelashes

[wet-monsoon]

no….. No

NO

[claratyler]

No you don’t understand, I have this entire developed theory about the Ice Age universe which has been cooking up in my mind and has only be reinforced by the latest 5th installment. Scrat is the god of the Ice age universe. The story began with him and the story will end with him. If there weren’t hints before, in this latest installment, it becomes clear that Scrat’s actions dictate what happens on Earth and to the protagonists. Yes, maybe Scart’s only goal is to get the nut, but his actions SHAPE what happens in the film. If we needed any further proof then may I point out something Buck said in the 5th film along the lines of “we’re 6 mins early! Somebody up there likes us!” That phrase is usually used to refer to a god and in this case it’s used to refer (unknowingly) to scrat!

However, there is an ALTERNATE theory that I have been working on. What if Scart isn’t the god of the ice age universe, but rather, the NUT is? As i have already said, Scart’s actions shape the course of the story but what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut, it is truly because of the nut that Scart does what he does that leads to the events that take place in the story. This would create an interesting metaphor here. Scrat is chasing the nut like man chases divinity. So when will the Ice Age saga end?? When Scart finally gets the nut for good. When man catches God.

[wet-monsoon]

[busket]

i didnt even read this but im laughing at how many times scrat is typoed as scart

[creature-enjoyer29]

“what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut” is the funniest fucking string of words I’ve read in my life

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

my soul left my body at squirrel tits. alsooo wut if the reason behind why squirrels love nuts is cus they don’t have one uk?? they don’t have a pee shooter uk so he want a nut cus he thinks that will get him a gf. it is a NUT.

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

inconvenience

literally changing all my boards on pinterest to secret cus the annoying popular bitch from school started following me nd my content is too precious for that nose hair to see.

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

You said forever, but now I'm standing alone at your wake You said forever, but now you're lying alone at your grave

[pusluktalaratlasi]

“if, however, your feelings have changed.. i would have to tell you,

you have bewitched me, body and soul.. and i love..

i love.. i love you.”

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

im cryingggg. why must i not have a mr. darcy. why.

[writing-with-olive]

Coming Up With Character Names

This is going to be a fairly short post, so if you guys want more information or for me to go into more depth, totally send me an ask and I’d be happy to. 

Method 1: Building a name

This is can be a little difficult, but consider what traits your character has, and what sounds you associate with said traits. For example, if xe’s more blunt, maybe xir name has one or two syllables. If xe’s quieter, maybe softer sounds. If xe’s a fighter, maybe harsher sounds like k and t. It’s really up to you, but thinking about what sounds go with your character can be a great place to start.

Method 2: The keysmash

This is something that works better in fantasy and similar genres, but do a short keysmash-and-simplify. For example, “awerinaewoirp” might become Awryn, or Neywoir. Basically, it’s about finding patterns in random letters and cutting the rest out. You can use letters that aren’t actually there, or you can cut letters if you don’t want to use them.

Method 3: Historical/regional names

Think of what type of culture your characters live in or come from. Even if that’s in fantasy or some other planet in a sci-fi, what cultures does your character’s resemble. Then look up names from said culture. You can also mess with the spelling to make them fit the vibe of your story better.

Method 4: Baby name websites

Nameberry is my go-to. Basically, think of traits you want your name to have, or think of names that are similar to the one you’re going for, and browse through suggestions. You don’t have to keep any of them. but it can be good inspiration. Plus, appearing as a pregnant mom in your search history is a good way to spice up your searches of “how to gut someone with a knife.”

Method 5: Mess with the spelling

Note: do not go overboard with this. Basically the idea is to take a relatively normal name, and screw with the spelling. This is common especially in various YA genres such as postapocalyptic, or fantasy. You can add letters in, change letters to other letters, or take letters out. 

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

the keysmash was brilliantttt ugh im not even a writer nor am in an actual real life relationship or have any use of names but ugh i just love names

[the-nerdseye-view]

Names for Hufflepuffs (patient, loyal, hard working)

Feminine:

Airini: Moari; meaning “peace”

Amalia: German; meaning “work”

Concordia: Latin; meaning “peace, harmony”

Dalia: Swahili; meaning “gentle”

Ebele: African; meaning “mercy, kindness”

Elethea: Greek; meaning “truth”

Emeline: French; meaning “work”

Esperanza: Spanish; meaning “hope, expectation”

Eurydice: Greek; meaning “wide justice”

Fabrizia: Italian; meaning “works with hands”

Fenna: Dutch; meaning “peace”

Frederica: Italian; meaning “peaceful ruler”

Frida: German; meaning “peaceful”

Gia: Italian; meaning “Gods gracious gift”

Halima: African; meaning “gentle, humane”

Imani: Arabic; meaning “faith”

Irene: Greek; meaning “peace”

Iria: Portuguese; meaning “peace”

Jane: English; meaning “God’s gracious gift”

Jeanine: French; meaning “God is gracious”

Justine: French; meaning “fair, righteous”

Kazuko: Japanese; meaning “child of peace”

Latifah: Arabic; meaning “kind and gentle”

Melisande: French; meaning “strong in work”

Mileva: Slavic; meaning “gracious, dear”

Mira: Latin/Slavic; meaning “admirable; peace”

Mirela: Slavic; meaning “peace, world”

Miyeon: Korean; meaning “beautiful and kind-hearted”

Nadia: Russian; meaning “hope”

Sabira: Arabic; meaning “patient”

Satya: Sanskrit; meaning “truth”

Sinead: Irish; meaning “God’s gracious gift”

Vera: Russian; meaning “faith”

Winifred: Welsh; meaning “blessed peacemaking”

Masculine:

Absalom: Hebrew; meaning “father of peace”

Amin: Arabic; meaning “faithful, trustworthy”

Axel: German; meaning “father of peace”

Clemens: Latin; meaning “merciful and gentle”

Emiliano: Italian; meaning “work”

Evan: Welsh; meaning “the Lord is gracious”

Fredrick: German; meaning “peaceful ruler”

Geoffrey: Anglo-Saxon; meaning “pledge of peace”

Giovanni: Italian; meaning “God is gracious”

Humphrey: German; meaning “peaceful warrior”

Ianto: Welsh; meaning “God is gracious”

Jack: English; meaning “God is gracious”

Kazumi: Japanese; meaning “beautiful peace”

Lafayette: French; meaning “faith”

Miro: Slavic; meaning “peace, world”

Pax: Latin; meaning “peace”

Philander: Greek; meaning “loving mankind”

Shane: Irish; meaning “God is gracious”

Solomon: Hebrew; meaning “peace”

Von: Norse; meaning “hope”

Xolani: Zulu; meaning “peace”

Zane: English; meaning “God is gracious”

Word Names (Colors and Virtues)

Amber

Bliss

Blithe

Canary

Charity

Chartreuse

Chastity

Cherish

Citrine

Coal

Crow

Daffodil

Ebony

Faith

Felicity

Generous

Gentle

Glimmer

Grace

Grace

Harmony

Harmony

Honest

Hope

Jasmine

Jet

Joy

Lemon

Loyal

Mercy

Merit

Modest

Noble

Obsidian

Ochre

Onyx

Patience

Peace

Primrose

Promise

Raven

Saffron

Sand

Serene

Serenity

Temperance

Unity

Verity

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

so disappointed that this doesnt have ophelia which means help

[theriskyredhead]

“Sunflowers and coffee

You’ll always think of me

Stars in the night sky

Books stacked up you’ll probably never read

A shiny rock

And a lock of red hair

Followed by the empty lingering of your desperate prayer

Begging for a sign from me

To know that I’m still here

Beat up slippers and dog fur floors

When you pass by, all my favorite stores

The ones you used to hate

I’d always drag you to

But now you stop in

Just to sit down

And you watch everyone pass by, pretending it’s me and you”

[scrumptiouspotatointhemicrowave]

yo rn for some reason all i can think about is how weird it musta been for the first humans to have sex nd then have like a whole tumour grow inside of them nd then come out nd just be like cavelady: hmm me growing phat only in  my tum tums

cavelad: eat more to even out yous body

cavelady: yes me do wanna eat

cavelady: oo me feels food jiggling inside. 

cavelady: me just peed on me own!

cavelady: me wannas to do poopy

cavelady: me thinks me constipated

cavelady: aAAAhhHHHHhhhh

caveman: push the poopy!!!!!

cavelady: ughh it came out!

cavelady: it be making noise

cavelady: *poke* *poke*

cavelady: POOPY MOVES!

caveman: ahhhh! u be ddoing peepee from yous boobies!!

cavebaby: *lick**lick*

cavebaby: o:

cavebaby: *leaps nd attaches itself to her nipple*

cavebaby: *K-AH* *K-AH* *K-AH*

cavelady: aAaAAAAhHHHHhhh

caveman: IT BE EATING YOO!!!!!

cavelady: WAIT! it be shoosh now! it no make noise! 

cavelady: *after baby is done having milk* ok done lets go 

cavelady and caveman walk some distance

caveman: *looks at caveladies boobs cus hes weirded out* AAAHHHH!!!

cavelady: AAHHHHHH!!!!

cavebaby: K-AH K-AH K-AH