“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro,
Whether reddit sent, or whether romcoms tossed thee here ashore,
Barely known yet still entitled, holding now your Tom Waits vinyl,
Begging me for something primal, tell me truly, I implore
Is this–is this shit for fucking real? Tell me, tell me, I implore!
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”
“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro,
By the mores that you abuse thus, by those films we both adore,
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, by stalking me through Facebook,
You have gained a twisted outlook of whom those tropes are for,
Paint a rare and radiant dream girl whilst you remain a bore,
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”
“Be that slur our sign of parting, creep or douche!” I shrieked, upstarting,
“Get thee back to lonely anguish and your friend’s used comic store!
Leave no white rose as a token of the lust you claim heartbroken,
Leave my scathing words to soak in! Quit the name calling of ‘whore’,
When you lust for every girl, but when they say nay they are whores!
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”
And the friendzoned, never scoring, still imploring, still imploring,
On some fetid old subreddit for a girl who will adore
The nicer guys and not the “douchebags”, unaware that it’s a red flag
To be his soulmate o'er him learning they both like the movie Thor
To fuck him for being nerdy even though he is a bore,
Then she says no–fucking whore.
dededos
theartofmadeline
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
vaporwave
