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Nother day, Nother live newscast on 90.1 FM on KBPK #NewsMan #KBPK (at Fullerton College)
Going live on KBPK! Reading news #SuperNervous #KBPK #NewsMan
It fall now. #FallisHere #MondayBlues #Iwannago2sleep #ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I like this Joker smile I made. #NotHavingABadDay #Joker
Patrick was a fake ass friend to spongebob. He was a bitch
Source?
episode where Patrick fam came over and sponegbob pretended to be dumb for him and Patrick flip flop ass started making fun of him.
Patrick was cold for that
And that episode where Mr Krabs gave them both a toy to share and he selfishly dodged and ignored SpongeBob to keep it for himself? TRIFLING
EXACTLY Patrick ain’t never been a true friend
real friends……how many of us?
And the time he ate his fucking chocolate bar & tried to jack spongebob for his.. nah son
Patrick did spongebob dirty so many times smh he a Gemini
Psyche!! His birthday is February 26th. Hez a Pisces. http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/Patrick_Star
And when he convinced spongebob he was ugly
that time gary left spongebob for the cookie in patrick pocket and patrick aint have no issue claimin that lil nigga as his own
When Patrick and Spongebob had a baby and Patrick’s lying ass wasn’t going to work and was eating sundaes at his house!!
Patrick convinced spongebob to play on the hooks… Got spongebob caught up . THAT WASN’T A FUCKIN CARNIVAL PATRICK!!
Or when he stole spongebob’s grandma
Or when he got a rare trading card and basically tortured Spongebob with it for a fucking week.
I did meet a fake geek girl once.
We were at school and she started to casually drop in that she liked comics/games/”geek stuff”, at the time I was wearing an iroman shirt. Deeper into the conversation i found that she didn’t know what I meant when I was referring to anything about the characters. When I questioned her about it a few days later she admitted that she had really just said it to get to know me better.
We ended up dating and while we were dating she got really into comics, DC especially, and found out that she really did enjoy the things she first said she did. I took her to her first convention. She met another guy there and ended up breaking up with me for him.
I went on to discover I was gay and fucked her brother.
Moral of the story. Comics lead to sex in the most unexpected ways.
This story was a riot from start to finish.
I wasn’t prepared for literally any of that
I want a sitcom for this
This is a fucking sleeper hit waiting to happen.
Accurate
“In that way, you’ve acknowledged that you’re unsure, that you don’t know what to do or say. You’ve acknowledged that you see them. They feel seen. They feel heard and acknowledged, which is huge for someone who’s in crisis.” Wentworth Miller | Q&A at Oxford Union | 2016 | x
This is…actually the most beautiful and helpful advice, honestly.
I love these memes.
Never not reblog sassy-sarcastic Jesus lovingly putting people on the right track.
“Christians” : but Jesus what about the gays?
Jesus: Did I fucking stutter??
daily reminder that bo burnham is a good person
On legendry.
Lately, I’ve run across complaints that modern depictions of the Knights of the Round Table are too “anime” - giving them all sorts of goofy powers, and sending them on weird, over-the-top adventures.
Allow me to point out that the following are all actual things that appear in the older tales about the Knights:
Sir Kay is said to have had the power to grow to giant size, hold his breath for nine days, and radiate supernatural heat from his hands.
Sir Bedivere openly practiced sorcery, and suffered from an accordingly sinister reputation; on more than one occasion, he was saved from being hanged as a witch only by King Arthur’s testimonly to his good character.
Sir Galahad possessed supernatural strength and speed by virtue of his moral and sexual purity - making him a rare example of a male character with virginity-fueled super powers.
Sir Balin once wielded the Lance of Longinus, and blew up an entire kingdom with a single blow. He also fought an evil knight with the power of invisibility.
Sir Marrock was a freaking werewolf.
Conclusion: modern depctions of the Knights of the Round Table aren’t anime enough.
I made this post two years ago, and while it’s never really taken off, it’s still getting a small burst of additional notes every couple of months. I wonder how folks keep finding it?
Anyway, the original post is hardly exhaustive - here are a few more fun examples:
Sir Gawain (you know, the guy involved in that whole mess with the Green Knight) is described as literally solar-powered in some tales, being three times as strong at high noon as he is at daybreak.
Sir Owain’s best friend and partner in battle is a talking lion. While his tales do include a sort of “origin story” explaining how he met the lion, the fact that it can talk isn’t remarked upon - it’s just a thing.
Sir Gwrhyr is able to speak every language, including those of animals, and in some versions can transform into various animals as well.
Though Lancelot isn’t usually described as having any specific supernatural powers or tools, he’s constantly described as “perfect” by everyone who sees him - you can practically see the bishie sparkles.
(Speaking of Lancelot, it’s interesting to note that in the earlier stories, his illicit romance with Guinevere is actually part of a love triangle involving another knight named Galehaut - and the focus of that love triangle isn’t Guinevere, but Lancelot himself! Galehaut has been quietly edited out of more modern retellings for sadly obvious reasons.)
whats up nerds i found a novelized historical slash fic about lancelot and galehaut written by two medieval scholars here it is youre welcome
Some more examples, from probably the oldest Arthurian text there is (c. 1100):
-Hen Beddestyr, who could outrun horses
-Hen Was the Swift, who could outrun any four-footed creature
-Sgilti Light Foot, who could run over treetops and over reeds without bending them
-Drem ap Dremidydd, who from Cornwall ‘could see a gnat rise with the sun’ in Scotland (presumably this is an example and he had really good eyesight, but possibly his special power was just that he was really good at seeing a specific gnat)
-Menw ap Teirwaedd, who was a magician and could cast invisibility on his entire party (possibly only effective against pagans) and placate animals (specifically by magic)
-Osla Big Knife, who may not have been magic himself but if he laid his knife across a river in its sheath it would form a bridge large enough to carry all of the armies of Britain
-Gilla Stag Shank, who could leap three hundred acres at once ‘and who was the chief leaper of Ireland’ (good for you, dude)
-Sol, who could stand all day on one foot
-Gwadyn Osol, who could flatten mountains by standing on them
-Gwadyn Oddeith, whose soles got really hot and threw off sparks whenever he hit something hard (a bit less useful than Gwadyn Osol)
-Sugyn ap Sugynedydd, ‘who could suck up a sea on which there were three hundred ships until it was nothing but a dry strand’
-Cacamwri (possibly just a servant rather than an actual warrior), who was really good at destroying barns
-Gwefyl ap Gwastad, who when he was sad could stretch his upper lip over his head and hide under it
-Uchdryd Cross Beard, who could throw his beard over ‘fifty rafters in Arthur’s hall’
-Clust ap Clustveinydd, who ‘were he buried seven fathoms in the earth he would hear an ant stirring from its bed in the morning fifty miles away’
-Medyr ap Medyredydd, who could hit a wren in Ireland from where he was in Cornwall ‘through both legs’ (unclear if these are the wren’s legs or his)
-Gwiawn Cat Eye, ‘who could cut a corner from a gnat’s eye without harming the eye’
-Special mention to people who may not have had superpowers of any kind: Sanddef Angel Face, (so beautiful that no one attacked him at Camlann because they assumed he must be an angel), Morfran ap Tegid, (so ugly that no one attacked him at Camlann because they assumed he must be a demon), Canhastyr Hundred Hands (supposedly has a magic collar), Cors Hundred Claws (supposedly has a magic leash) (I assume they were in some kind of d/s relationship), Llwch Windy Hand and Samson Dry Lip (no explanation of these last four epithets so perhaps they don’t actually have any supernatural powers), and Gwydden the Difficult, who was probably just a dick
(I’ve included only highlights; I should point out that this list is eight pages long in the Penguin edition I have on hand. And for fairness’s sake I should probably also add that this list is not to be taken seriously since the story it’s included in is probably a parody, though it is also where Kay’s powers mentioned in the original post originate from, and Gwrhyr’s, who as far as I know only appears in this story.)
(Another delightful note is that Kay uses his magic heat powers in this story to keep the rain off his stuff and start fires ‘when his companions were cold’)
This is the PediSedate.
Out of all of the weird Gameboy attachments out there, this one has to be the strangest. The PediSedate was made for dentist and other doctors to use to administer nitrous oxide to kids before an operation.
The PediSedate fits over the patients head and plugs into a Gameboy and acts as a pair of headphones. In the back of the headset there is a fitting for the gas tank hose. When the doctor is ready, he can turn on the gas while the child is distracted playing the Gameboy.
While the PediSedate was advertised for use with the Gameboy, it isn’t licensed by Nintendo and in reality, can be used with anything that has a headphone jack.
This was not, however, the attachment that was most effective at putting people to sleep.
That distinction goes to the Game Boy Pocket Sonar, since it was used to fish.
Girl, you know I’ve got that too
ZZZZ
Ok lawl
caption: girl: Dad, I just made a milkshake! dad: Not again… dad: *going outside with a broom to a group of boys* Alright, cmon boys, get outta here! boys: *groan and leave*
If you don’t get the joke, you haven’t heard the song.
this is objectively funny
tommy wiseau is a confirmed space criminal in the marvel universe
I love this.
Archer Christmas
Archer: Seriously, though, who throws a Christmas party in a church?
Lana: I don’t know, people who are celebrating the holiday for what it’s actually about?
Archer: What, Roman Saturnalia? A harvest festival that marked the Winter Soltice– the return of the sun– and honored Saturn the god of Sowing?! Yeah, I’m sure the nativity scene out front has the sun right and center, Lana.
Malory: Speaking of, if you make an ass out of yourself again this year, I swear to God–
Lana: Uh–
Malory: –Shut up– I will nail YOU to a cross and have Cyril stab you in the rib with a spear.
Archer: First of all, it’s the Lance of Longinus. Second, what do you mean again?
Lana: Because last year you got smashed on stolen communion wine and fell into the Nativity Scene screaming–
-Flash Back-
Archer: *Wearing only a Rosary and his underwear.* MANGER ZONE!
-Return-
Archer: … That blood of christ will really do it to you.
So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.
But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.
Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.
Reblog to save a life
He's very relaxed right now. #BobtheDog