Egg Wish

ghosty little fuckwit

[second-breakfast]

What has happened to me since I was last active on tumblr?

I turned 30 (and then some).

I shaved the side of my head.

I got into a career I'm at least mediocre at, but I'm at my dream job company.

My cat died.

- I adopted a kitten.

- - She's an adult cat now + the light of my life + a goblin

I got COVID (last week/currently, fuck)

I worked a job that made my CPTSD worse

- oh, right, I have CPTSD lol weeee

Got diagnosed with ADHD

- well shit that explains a lot

- lol weeee

Started therapy

- she's on to my bullshit

Got so depressed for so long that I got used to being numb and now that I'm feeling emotions again I feel like a college kid on Tumblr again losing my mind over a TV show except it's about my actual life

- I'm feeling things again, like some kind of teenager.

- - You remember feelings, right?

I have too many houseplants

I managed to make a few actual friends

- even though sometimes I panic? They still like me? Fake

I have even more bad puns and dad jokes

I gained a reputation, at three different companies, as the festive bitch who likes to decorate for holidays and parties.

Same apartment, same partner, on the same bullshit

[second-breakfast]

I got this mobile ad that was the funniest fucking thing in the world to me* so I posted it to my IG story and my friend also thought it was funny. That was three months ago and every Wednesday since has been some variation of:

"It's Wednesday."

"WHICH MEANS THE FROGS GET TO INVADE."

and so, last week I ordered a pack of 50 tiny frogs.

And Tuesday, I stayed late at work to set all fifty up around his desk.

Wednesday morning, he came in. The frogs had invaded.

Now he has them all gathered into two tidy groups (all facing ominously at him) but bet your ass I'm gonna swipe them off his desk to hide them in his belongings any chance I get.

Left your gym bag? Ope, frog fell in.

We going to lunch? I'll catch up I just gotta... Pocket a frog to dead drop in your car.

*the game is very cute and well done for being in progress and the frogs really do be invading on Wednesdays

[midiport]

[supermariomamafucker]

[bogleech]

Looks to me like she got fun with Lapras

[gaypornvideoswebsite]

sent an email without exclamation points #mean #meanie #meancore #evilgirl #hurtingyou #indifferent #gayandrude

[dankmemeuniversity]

[politicalprof]

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

[madfishmonger]

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

[autobotsrollout]

[bedlund]

everything is so funny. When i ignore the dread

[bedlund]

NOTFUNNY. NOT FUNNY THE DREAD IS HERE

[communistkenobi]

cats have such a beautiful relationship to space. I’ve never seen an animal so small able to take up half the length of a couch simply by sitting in the least efficient spot possible

[sexchangedotcom]

people wanting men to wear crop tops and then being grossed out at happy trails. you fool thats the point of men wearing crop tops

[3liza]

[samthecookielord]

hey guys...i put a picture of a kity under the cut...

[ID: A photo of two gray kittens. End ID.]

I LIED!!! HA!!! THERE ARE TWO KITTIES!!!!!!!!!! APRIL FOOLS

[second-breakfast]

(to my dear friend with the deepest love playing on my face) If you were a fetus I'd abort you, nerd.

[second-breakfast]

Where my fearful avoidant bitches at

[second-breakfast]

So a couple days ago a former friend who I had a huge falling out w bc he really fucked me over imo texted me this sort of toothless blameless apology/attempt at reconciliation

Fifteen minutes

After

I took a gummy for the first time ever

BRO I'M NOT PREPARED FOR THIS AND I'M BOUTTA GET LESS PREPARED.

CAN YOU NOT HIT ME WITH THIS AT THIS EXACT MOMENT WHY NOWWWWW

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[shower-raccoon]

Deltarune chapter 3 looking sick