UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

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@secrettreestuffidk
UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"
As someone who deeply loves Over the Garden Wall and the Among Us show, and also has not ever seen The Lord of the Rings movies, I feel like I did some kind of speedrun sequence-skip into being an Elijah Wood fan
One day a friend of mine will staple me to a chair long enough to watch the whole Lord of the Rings movie set and I just know I’ll be very happy when my good friend Wirt TheGardenWall and Green AmongUs shows up to get the One Ring back or whatever
extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all
examples:
one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.
Not a sin at all!
This is what's called a poetic epithet, and it happens all the time in writing. Consider, for example, Homer and his wine-dark sea, or Shakespeare and his death-mark'd love.
If you were then to start using them instead of the word they're describing, you'd be making a kenning. For example, if instead of describing the sun as honey-bright, you said "the honey-drop in the sky". Kennings are best known from Norse writings, like "the path of serpents" for gold, or "GrĂmnir's lip-streams" for poetry itself.
So you're not sinning, you're participating in an ancient literary tradition!
Scansion:
◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – The sun / was ho/ney-bright / that af/ternoon
Metrical form: iambic pentameter
another monster story
Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.
Can't leave this in the tags..
Love the moment in System Collapse when Ratthi makes a joke about round hatches being scarier than square ones, SecUnit decides to fact check this by searching its entire media library for scary things coming out of doors and doing statistical analysis on the shape of the doors and discovers he's right, and ART goes "You wasted processing space on that?" And then ART gets sucked into participating in the inane conversation within seconds.
This is so real
HOLD ON I HAVE A GIF FOR THIS
turns out "everything you have ever wanted is on the other side of this fear" is a great trans mantra but also a good mantra if you have OCD
Also a cool thing to say out loud before picking up a sword!!!!!
i gave the venus of willendorf a brewski
venus of chillendorf
“so this week my town made the news for—” nope
“there’s a restaurant two miles from my house called—” nope
“today I learned [celeb] went to my high school—” nope nope nope nope nope
these are all real posts I’ve seen on the internet that allowed me to identify a user’s hometown instantly. if it’s a small town, that’s doubly dangerous, because a bad actor could trace you just by a unique first name or selfie you once posted. in an age where doxxing and stalking are some of the worst I’ve ever seen it, you HAVE to think twice about what you’re posting online.
i once saw a 13-year old post an image they noted as being “a few miles from their house.” it had a theater in the shot with a unique enough name to be local. one google maps search, now everyone knew not only what city they lived in, but the possible neighborhoods in that radius too. and they had a HUGE following…who all knew this was a 13-year-old child.
so yeah. not to sound like a 90s internet safety PSA…but I’m gonna be that PSA for a minute.
if you’re posting an image, there is NO need to say that you live there. you could just be traveling. “saw this in Montana” is better than “saw this by my house!”
before you post about a venue, especially a restaurant or small store, check and see if it’s local—CRUCIALLY if it has only one or two locations. people might travel to arenas or convention centers, but they’re far less likely to be traveling to Bartleby’s Fish and Chips. if it’s an anecdote and you still live nearby, you can honestly just leave the name out entirely.
if you’re sharing a news story, it can just be a story you found and wanted to share. you don’t have to clarify “it happened in my town,” because even if you don’t mention your town name, an easily-googled news article will.
if you’re seeing a concert or meeting a celebrity on a tour that’s stopped locally, wait until they’ve hit a few more venues before you post about it, or at the very least wait until you get home. this is honestly a smart move for any event you attend: unless you’re marketing yourself, there’s no need to advertise your location in real time.
check your selfie backgrounds for anything identifying. this includes city names on venues, school names, street signs, and house numbers.
this stuff is flexible if you no longer live in your hometown, or if your city is particularly big, but there’s STILL no reason to tie yourself to your school, your workplace, or your street. you can call it paranoid, but as someone who’s seen my friends get literal death threats over fictional characters before, the last thing I want is someone willing to act on those threats finding out where they live.
anyway. PSA over. does a kickflip or whatever
in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job
You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).
Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.
hard to gauge if the answer to a ''how's your life been going'' should be ''im deconstructing everything about my relationship to expiriencing emotions and im finding it hard to grasp that im a real person who exists'' or ''been getting into wildberry jams lately''
Still thinking about how Murderbot just peacing out was the perfect ending for All Systems Red. It needed freedom, and that wasn't something even the best, kindest, most sincere people it had ever met could give it.
A while back there was a tiktok going “Ooo this is the best restaurant and I’m not telling you where it is ;) you’re going to have to guess ;)))”
And another guy stitched it with a whole breakdown of her most recent posts to go “The day before you posted this you posted another video saying you met this celebrity and he had just posted that he was in this city. You also posted a video in a hotel room and after searching up hotels in this city, we can tell it was this hotel because the wallpaper in your video matches the wallpaper in pictures on their website. By looking up restaurants by this hotel we can tell you went to this specific restaurant” and he was right
And people called him a creep, but I think we should take this as a moral lesson to lie about ourselves online more. I’m actually a talking dog and I live in a Montreal poutinerie