SEI Club Reviews When There’s No Point In Switching
We recently spoke with a very beautiful, accomplished woman and an exceptionally successful gentleman who met and married through SEI Club. They shortly thereafter had a baby and were really living in that state of bliss…you know, where it seems that together they had it all: Love, Money, a healthy, blossoming Family…
And then it started…
Things just became a bit more difficult.
The couple wasn’t getting along as well. And all those super-cute quirks that initially drew them to each other slowly became “annoying!” habits that should be changed…they were just unbearable.
At last they came to a point where they both said:
“Let’s get a divorce.”
That’s when they contacted us for some insight and support.
And here’s what we said:
To the beautiful, accomplished woman we said:
Remember when you first met this match? How excited and enthralled you were about his charisma, his success, all the fun he has in life and how he always seems to have it “together” in all respects? How he seemed magnetically attractive to you?
Guess what?
This. Is. The. Same. Guy!
The only difference is that you’ve officially gotten as close to him as you originally wanted to.
So now, you see him on his good days, his bad days, and you see him at those personal moments where he questions and assesses life before making his real decisions (which by the way make him successful)!
You now see him on the nights when he would’ve cancelled while you were dating since he just “didn’t feel like it” and maybe couldn’t come in on his A-game.
You now know him when he is concerned, afraid of something…maybe more vulnerable and weaker than you initially expected. You are getting his “behind the scenes action” …that part of him that no one ever really sees. You’re getting a sense of his holistic mojo. What makes him that amazing character you initially fell for.
And yes…even now there are still those high moments when he’s exactly the same person you initially fell for.
I have to break it to you:
You officially know this man in exactly the way you had originally wanted when you met him in the first place – you’ve gotten VERY close to him – he has let you in… this is what you WANTED.
And now you say “it’s not the same. He’s not perfect. He’s annoying.”
To that we say: you are one of the most lucky women alive. To be able to be so close to someone who is such an incredible catch. The kind of man many men aspire to be.
Sure – we can introduce you to someone else amazing after a divorce (should you be silly enough to get one), but the next amazing guy will become the same “annoyance” for you if you are unable to get past this “impasse” of depth in this particular relationship. You’ll just hit the same impasse with the next amazing match. Because being in a relationship requires a closeness that reveals each person’s imperfections. A relationship is about helping each other through that, and then making it to the next level of the relationship which is even more amazing than the previous. And this just keep happening again and again until you’ve reached the ultimate APEX of closeness – that no one ever attains anyway given that life is a process of ongoing growth for all of us.
So, the short answer to “should I divorce” is:
Stick with your man because you two were so “wowed” with each other at the outset and you truly are the same people. You’ve just gotten to know each other better…get through this and the next level is far more amazing that the first more superficial excitement ever could have been – no comparison.
This is your dream guy!
And to the gentleman member we said this:
Remember when you were magically wowed by her beauty, intelligence, accomplishment…how you were massively proud to introduce her to your friends…how you knew you had the hottest, smartest, most impressive woman in the room at any given time – just because she was by your side?
Guess what? She’s. The. Same. Person.
You’ve just gotten to know her a little bit better. You can see her behind the scenes; behind the curtain.
You’ve seen her on the days were she too would’ve canceled in the beginning because she just “didn’t feel like it” – on those days when she felt stressed in a way that you as a male couldn’t even “process” …over a matter that seems like nothing to you…but to her it mattered.
You have gotten to know this woman in a way that no one else has…and for that the relationship has depth, soul, meaning…she’s still the brilliant, accomplished beauty you fell for…
But on the days when she needs your support the most you deem her “annoying” or “impossible” and think of splitting?
That’s just now how meaningful relationships work.
Sure, we can introduce you to another brilliant beauty, but when you reach a similar level of depth you’ll just come to the same impasse. The “content” might be different as we all have different issues, but the impasse will be there. And the only way through it, to the next level is … well, through it.
And we can promise you that working through this tough moment can take you both as individuals and as a couple to a whole new level…of human insight, closeness, depth…and yes, even sex.
Do not be fooled…
In a case where there is incredible attraction at the outset, followed by marriage, a child…and a whole lot of love, when things get tough you can look around for someone else, but in all honesty – unless there’s some sort of real abuse going on, there is just no point in switching partners (i.e.: finding a new supposedly “better” relationship).
And most of the time, if you ask your brain to find supposed “abuse” it will find it. But unless there’s genuine abuse going on (you know what we mean), why not do something different and ask your brain to find beauty, positive and charm. It will find those things instead. As you know, your brain is a tricky thing. It can cause chaos or harmony depending on your outlook.
If you instead try to find another relationship, just like this amazing relationship you’re in, there will come a point in the “next relationship” where you can either find your way through its seemingly impossible impasse, or leave again once you reach that same level of depth with someone else (which will present itself as another “impossible” impasse, with different content but the “impossibility” of it will be the same)…
And then the process as described above will just be the same: excitement, then disappointment, and divorce. So take THIS opportunity that you have right now to move to the next level and together reach an even higher level of unity and happiness…the one that you always dreamed of and desired.
More importantly, even if you switched partners, the entire goal of the next relationship would be to get to where you are now with each other…in terms of closeness and “knowing” the other person.
So, rather than switching partners, work through this seemingly impossible impasse, come out better as individuals (smarter, more aware of other humans and more compassionate about the human experience), and far more deeply loving as a couple. Making it through this impasse will reap far greater rewards than bailing…because in a case like this, there’s just no point in switching.