Ugetsu slid slowly his fingers behind his ear until his thumb reached for Haruki's earlobe. “You used to wear piercings... or you still do?” he said, rubbing softly his thumb on Haruki's skin to feel the sensation of those little spots. He wasn't thinking about what he was doing, but he somehow felt drawn to do that, and Haru started to think that maybe, just maybe it hadn't been exactly a good idea. It was such a subtle moment, such an almost-not-even-there gesture, but Haru could feel his breath catching even in the most imperceptible of ways because of it. “I... I still do. Sometimes."
“AU in which Shorter didn’t die, Ash lives happily in Japan with Eiji, and Shorter became Yut Lung’s bodyguard.
NOTE: You’ll see we -my rp partner and I- call Yut Lung “Yue”. This is the result of the Japanese phonetics for “Yut-Lung”, which sounds like “Yuerun”.
One could say Lee Yut-Lung was everything but eager for these receptions. He enjoyed the luxury of it, the status and the power, but in the end, being there surrounded by people who wanted him dead more than power itself wasn't so pleasant. These receptions, like Yue had addressed them, were nothing but a demonstration of all of that. There was no need for them except showing the big corporations and media who was the boss in Manhatan's mafia. But Lee Yut-Lung's facade when in these circuses was something between flirtatious and scary, a neverending fountain of compliments and suggestions that lured his enemies right into where he wanted them.
That evening, however, he had a feeling of uneasiness that wouldn't leave him alone.
While people kept filling their mouths with the ridiculous amounts of pretentious food the hotel had served, while they spoke at incredibly innecesary loud levels, Yang Xi Zhan, head of the Yang clan, rested a hand on Yue's lower back. "What do you say we start our own party?" he asked. Yue smiled with complicity. "I'll be up in the suite in no time, just have to send my people away".Yang Xi Zhan was a man in his mid-forties, well educated and cautious, but physically intimidating; he gave Yue an awful feeling of disadvantage. He knew he could trust no one, but this guy seemed to be just a plain psycopath. But as deceiving as the head of Lee clan looked like, Lee Yut-Lung was a little bit of devil himself. And he would have to find a way to kill this man before he laid a finger on him.Yue walked away from the people towards the elevators and stood besides Shorter as he waited, face serious and eyes fixed on the numbers counting down to the floor they were in. "Stay close. I have a bad feeling".With that, he got in the elevator and, turning around, he looked at his bodyguard as doors closed in front of him.
Shorter gave Yue a small nod and as soon once the elevator door closed, he sighed. During the whole evening he had felt the oppresive atmosphere that was so characteristic in those receptions Yue held to show off who was in charge in that city, but this time, Shorter felt something else. Maybe because of the words said, the looks the guests gave each other, the movements of their hands and their general body language, but Shorter could feel something was more off than usual. The hangover he had woken up with that morning was completely gone by then, but the uneasiness he felt last night when Yue told him about tonight's reception was still there and Yue's words only confirmed his feelings. He hated these events because they were a stage were everyone hid their true interests behind masks of perfect behaviour and fake poise. It really made Shorter want to throw up, even if he understood their point. There was not much he could do but to deal with them and pay attention to the guests' movements during the whole night, knowing they all represented a threat to Yue.
Shorter waited until the elevator stopped in the suite floor and waited a few seconds before pressing the button to make it come down again. The seconds seemed to extend infinitely and he wondered if it wouldn't have been better to go up the stairs instead, holding that thought until the elevator door opened again, this time empty before he got in.
The idea of Yue being inside of the suite room with this guy touching him, the reek of alcohol in his breath on his neck, his lips, his body, all of it made Shorter sick. He was aware of the fact that Yue knew what he was doing, that he knew the danger he put himself in every time he was left alone with one of these men. And Shorter knew Yue was way more dangerous than he let show. There was a reason he was the head of his clan and every guest knew that. Still, Shorter could feel his own senses sharpen as he stood next to the door and put on an earplug connected wirelessly to a microphone Yue had hidden in the suite.
By the time Yue was getting off the elevator, he had already thought of at least three ways he could slip poison in Yang Xi's drink when they were both in the room. It wasn't going to be easy, but definitely not impossible. However, when he made it there, there were no bottles or glasses at sight. Yue breathed a laugh as he closed the door behind him. "My, my... I was saving myself for the good champagne... is this how you celebrate your guest, Mr. Yang?". Walking directly to him while his dramatic, melodic voice filled the air, Yue stood in front of the man and grabbed delicately his tie to play with it. "Don't I deserve a good drink for such a warm welcome to my clan?". Catlike and mischievous, Yut-Lung brushed his lips against Yang's while his hands still played with the tie. "The bastard knows" he thought. "Mr. Lee, you know I wouldn't risk it to be poisoned in this... warm welcome you generously arranged for me". Yang's hands were blindly undoing the buttons of his qipao and Yue could barely stand the smell of alcohol in this guy's breath without flinching. But he managed. "You offend me, Zhan... I would've already poisoned you if I wasn't interested in our deal". A laugh by the man came after that, and as they undressed each other, as Yue touched him and kissed him, his mind was searching for multiple ways he could kill him.Yang Xi Zhan, to Yue's fortune, was a thirsty pig. It wasn't surprising how hard his cock got at the slightest rock of their hips, nor how powerful he felt keeping Yue under him on the bed. But even if the head of the Lee clan was now naked and unprovided of his weapons, he still had an ace under the sleeve: a small, very sharp needle he had prepared and that waited hidden in his hair. This guy liked it rough -which was an easy guess considering his body language and the size of his body-, so, combined with Yue's acting and shrewdness, sticking the needle in Yang's nape wasn't so hard. He wouldn't have to bare his thrusts and the bruises he was leaving in his skin for much longer. Except that he was. "This isn't right, the poison should've already kicked in, why isn't he choking?". Yue looked at his dress on the floor and how far he was from it and the microphone Shorter was connected to, a wave of cold sweat washing over him when he realized Yang had probably taken an inhibitor foreseeing the situation, and when Yue looked back at the man on top of him, already looking him back with a psychotic smile, he tried to shout but Yang Xi Zhan's hands were quicker, and before Yue could make a sound, his hands were already choking him with a strength that terrified Yue to his very soul. Nothing he tried to do was going to work, Shorter wouldn't hear a thing, he was completely unarmed, and even if he smashed the lamp on the bedside table against the man's head, that still wouldn't break him. So instead of that, and hoping the strength left in him was enough or he wouldn't see another day, Yue grabbed the lamp and threw it to the door, trusting Shorter would be at the other side.
Shorter stood next to the door and waited for what seemed hours, paying attention to what he could hear on the microphone and see in his surroundings. His right hand checked the gun on his hip at the most insignificant movement. Maybe someone would appear in the hallway or through the elevator, that was a possibility, although what seemed more possible was that the threat came from inside of that room, but he couldn't hear a thing over the microphone hidden in Yue’s dress. Several scenarios played in his head as his heart raced in his chest. He trusted Yue's abilities to detect danger and stay safe, even if he liked too much to play with fire, but you never knew with people like Yang Xi Zhan. These cunning fuckers...There was so much silence behind the door that Shorter asked himself for a moment if he should just break in and take Yue with him. But suddenly there was a crash on the other side of the door, and Shorter felt his heart jumping as he ran to the knob and tried to open it to no avail. He pushed it with his shoulder and when it didn't give in, he stepped back and kicked the door, until it finally, finally opened. He grabbed his gun and entered the room as adrenaline rushed to his head, when he saw Yang on top of Yue with his hands around his neck, Yue's helpless stare pleading Shorter to do something as quick as possible. Yang's face seemed transfixed and his hands wouldn't stop pressing against Yue's throat, as of this man's only concern was to end Yue's life no matter what. The difference in size between them was so big Shorter feared it might be too late, so he lifted his gun and pulled the trigger. His first shot failed and hit the wall on the other side of the room, but this made Yang turn around to look at Shorter, which gave him a better target. Shorter wouldn't miss this one. The second time he pulled the trigger, the bullet hit right between Yang's eyes, and the room went still for a moment until Yang's dead weight fell over Yue's body. Shorter heard himself screaming Yue's name as he ran to the bed, begging it wasn't too late.
It was hard to remain conscious when his brain had been lacking oxygen for so long. Yue could barely hear what he thought was Shorter struggling with the door. It all lasted a few seconds that felt like ages, and when he was about to pass out, Shorter's second shot hit Yang's head and the pressure on his throat gave in. He took the deepest, most desperate breath while his bodyguard rushed to him and helped him move Yang's dead body off him. But maybe it was the adrenaline to know they were still in danger what made Yue stay alert, and as soon as Shorter had finished freeing him, he saw another man appearing through the door. In a second, Yue took the gun Shorter had rested on the bed to move the body and shot him in the head. Still coughing, he got up in a rush and threw Shorter his gun back. It was probably the fifth time he heard him ask if he was okay, but Yue was more worried about getting out of there for the time being. "No time, let's move". Yut-Lung ran to his clothes and reached for his phone, pressing the power button three times to call the rest of his men.
The sound of the shot still rang on Shorter's head when he turned around to run to the door, wondering how the hell Yue could have the mental clarity to shot someone in the head when just a few seconds ago he had been about to pass out. But he was there, standing up and completely ignoring Shorter every single time he asked if he was okay. For a moment Shorter had seemed to forget that this wasn't the first time Yut-Lung was in danger, but watching him as he called his men, it was pretty clear he knew this kind of situation too well. Shorter could see the bruises on Yue's naked body: his arms and his chest were covered with them and there was a big one all around his neck, turning an ugly purple as he stood there. Shorter had to look somewhere else and force himself to focus on getting the hell out of there instead of discharging the entire magazine of the gun in the middle of Yang's dead body's head. Shorter checked his gun and stood up, lifting Yue's dress from the floor and handing it to him. "Okay, we should go through the stairs, we'd be an easy target on the elevator".
Yue felt like was he was drunk, everything spun around him and he was so light-headed he could barely stand straight while putting on his clothes as quickly as he could without falling to the floor. He knew he couldn't give in just yet. "Yang's men were most likely at the reception downstairs, they're coming up that way", Yut-Lung thought as he rushed to the one of the windows in search for the fire escape, his men would be going up from there and they should meet in the way down. "Over there", Yue said pointing at the stairs a few meter away from the room. "The emergency exit must be outside to the right". Without waiting, they got out of the room and ran to the stairs they effectively found on the hallway, but after two floors running, as hard as he tried to keep going, everything suddenly went white and a a sharp pressure in Yut-Lung's head made him lose consciousness.
Shorter couldn't help checking Yue out every few seconds, so by the time Yue fainted Shorter was already there to catch him. It wasn't unexpected, and even if they were in danger, Shorter couldn't help but stare at him and notice how fragile he seemed, how his beautiful features made him look surreal in the whole situation, like someone who had came out of a fairy tale but was surrounded by monsters. He kept staring at Yue as he lifted him, weightless as a feather, as if he were asleep, and he didn't look like the person who had just tried to kill a man four times bigger than himself or who had actually killed a man with a bullet right through his brain. It was somehow amazing and admirable. Realizing he didn't have time for these kind of revelations, Shorter ran, carrying Yue in his arms down the rest of the stairs.He felt relieved when he saw there was a car on the street waiting for them with Yut-Lung's men hurrying them to get inside, their guns up and waiting to shoot off any threat coming from Yang's men. For a moment it seemed like all the hurry had been in vain, that there hadn't been really anybody else following them or trying to kill them, but then Shorter heard a shot and then another, and then another, followed by a sharp pain on his left shoulder, followed by another shot and Yue's men helping Shorter to get inside of the car with Yue still unconscious in his arms. The car sped on and he noticed the shots had stopped, so it seemed they were safe now and that whoever had shot them was dead already, or at least momentarily out of the game, but being honest all he cared about was Yue, even if his own shoulder was bleeding without him even noticing.
At some point, Yut Lung wasn't sure he was awake or half asleep. He could feel something was moving though he couldn't quite tell what, but something he was sure of... this soft, muffled jacket he was leaning on. It was Shorter. It was the ridiculous warmth of his body. Yue felt so weak he couldn't even open his eyes, his limbs felt too heavy and everything seemed to happen miles away from where he was, just as if he was deep down under water.
"It would be so easy to kill me now..." he thought, expecting it from anybody at any given moment.
"I couldn't even tell... I don't even know if I'll open my eyes ever again".
Even in the protective embrace of his bodyguard, Yut Lung still expected betrayal as if it were imprinted in his DNA. As if betrayal was the word that defined his story.
"It wouldn't be so bad... such a quiet death...".
The next time Yue opened his eyes it all came rushing to his mind like he had just unpaused time in the middle of a battlefield. He remembered being running away from the building and, instinctively, grabbed the gun from under his pillow to point it at the shadow he sensed next to him in a split second. But when he recognized Shorter, and then his own room, and it all sunk in his mind, Yue relaxed his shoulders and put down the gun. There were a few moments of silence, as if Shorter wanted to give him time to finish coming back.
"Are you okay?", "Yue, are you okay?", "answer me, are you okay?!"... Suddenly, Shorter's voice back at the hotel suite echoed in his head like a haunted question still waiting for an answer. And his lips parted to answer when he saw the precarious bandage in Shorter's shoulder. Then he forgot about how he was.
"Are you okay?"
Once they were at Yut-Lung's manor safe from danger, Shorter had taken Yue to bed and sent all the other people to rest or to guard the door, and then he sat on a couch close to Yue's bed. He was tired as hell, but was unable to rest, worried something else apart from that night's nightmare would happen, thinking and rethinking about what he could've done differently to prevent Yue from ever being in danger. Yue seemed to be okay, though, and his chest slowly moving up and down made Shorter even more drowsy. When he woke up and grabbed the gun, Shorter barely batted an eye and waited until it all came back to him. "Yeah, it's just a scratch." he said, seeing Yue staring at the bandages on his shoulder. The bullet had went through and he had bled quite a lot, but when one of Yut-Lung's men bandaged his arm, Shorter felt like it wasn't as serious as to even worry about it and hurried the man to finish up and leave. He told Yue what had happened after he had passed away, how his men had shot one of Yang's lackeys so they had been able to escape, but he didn't say much else. He kept to himself that now they were probably planning a retaliation and that they would have to be extra careful, maybe use some of his ties for protection or plan some kind of agreement, if that was even possible with these kind of people. Not anything Yue didn't know already, but Shorter was too tired to think about all of it and was too happy to see Yue awake and well to talk about such grim businesses."How are you feeling? You slept quite a lot, princess."
"Princess". Those words never went unnoticed by Yut Lung, even if they seemed to. "Did I...?" Yue put the gun under his pillow with one hand while rubbing his forehead with the other. His body hurt like hell, specially his neck, but he didn't want to stay in bed, so he got up and calmly walked to Shorter. "Let me see" he asked, carefully undoing the bandage. "It's stained anyway, you have to change it". Yue's voice was soft and his touch delicate as ever. He kept pushing his hair behind his ear but was still somewhat uncomfortable, so he'd tie it up.
When Yue saw Shorter's injure he understood a few things. It wasn't just a scratch, a bullet had went through it and the small holes it had left on his skin weren't even sewn, that's why it kept bleeding. Shorter had probably rushed the adjust to keep guarding him. Yue frowned. "We can go to a hospital or I can sew you myself. You choose", he said, averting his eyes from the wound to look at Shorter's neck and jaw. His shoulders were probably what Yut Lung liked the most about Shorter's body, but even if he didn't realize, like right now, he never let an opportunity to look at him like this slide.
Shorter could feel Yue's stare on his skin and how his own face seemed to get warm at the slightest touch of those fingers. The rush of adrenaline hadn't let his arms feel enough pain to let Yue fall while they were escaping and he had managed to get to a safe place without his shoulder hurting too much, but the effects had long dissipated and now the wound hurt like hell. He didn't particularly like the idea of having needle and thread piercing through his skin, but he knew Yue was right, he needed to get stitches. He took Yue's hand in his and stared at it, as if he was comparing it against his own, too rough and unrefined. Shorter thought about how Yue's hands looked so delicate and exquisite and yet they were able to kill a man, be it by preparing the deadliest poison or by pulling a trigger. And yet his touch was soft and caring, and Shorter guessed he would better have Yue take care of the wound instead of some random doctor at a hospital. "You do it" he said, letting go of Yue's hand and smirking. "But be gentle, I might be a monkey, but I do feel pain..."
"Everybody feels pain," Yue thought at Shorter's comment, "even the ones who don't deserve it".
The few moments he held his hand Yut Lung watched in silence. Shorter's skin was different than his: tanned and thicker, stronger even, but not any less soft or beautiful. Yue had watched it countless times whenever those big jackets his bodyguard wore slid down his shoulders and left them exposed, taking in so gracefully the sunlight as if it had been made for that. Yut Lung wondered what the skin of Shorter's back would feel like, or that of his nape, or that of his earlobe, surprisingly free of piercings or earrings. He didn't know when he had started to wonder these things, when he had started to feel for Shorter, but it didn't really matter, because even if he wanted to, he had no control over it. That was what he did, after all, he trusted, got involved, and then betrayed.
He just told Shorter to wait before going for the aid kit they had at the manor and stopped by the greenhouse to get a cold, liquid extract of black pepper he always had prepared for injuries.
When he got back to the room, Yue closed the door and prepared everything to treat Shorter. They weren't talking, and it didn't feel uncomfortable, but Yut Lung's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Behind Shorter's back he changed into more comfortable clothes and, with trained motion, he tied his hair with a hair pin using just one hand. He then served Shorter a glass of whiskey and gave it to him along with the bottle. "You might need it", Yue said putting on a pair of gloves.
Medicine was ancestral in his family and Yue had his share of knowledge about it, he had even practiced Shorter acupuncture before, maybe that was why he trusted him with this.
The front part of the wound took his time and was the worst since Shorter was first trying to adjust to the pain, but as soon as Yue was finished with it, he immersed the bandage in the liquid he had placed at their side.
"Black pepper has an anti-inflammatory effect", he explained. "Its flavor comes from the piperine, and even at low doses, piperine reduces inflammation". Yue's hand worked carefully on Shorter while he patched the wound with the bandage. "The smell of it sends a message to the brain and affects neurons in a way that suppresses the perception of pain. This will make you feel better".
Following Yue's advice, Shorter drank the whole glass of whiskey, and served himself another one for later. He knew what was coming, so he took a deep breath and told Yue he was ready. "There's nobody better for this job than Yue" Shorter considered, feeling safe in those delicate and expert hands. It was funny he felt safe letting Yue pass a needle through his skin when he was the one who was supposed to make Yue feel safe.
"I don't know if I'd rather get shot again than get stitched," he joked after the front part was done, taking the glass he had served and drinking all the whiskey in it at once. It wasn't easy for him to get drunk, but the alcohol was making his head feel nicely light and the pain slightly less noticeable.
Even as gentle as Yue was, his skilled hands working with care and attention on Shorter's wound, the stitching wasn't pleasant at all. It was good that hearing him talk was almost as distracting as looking at him, and even through the pain, he found himself unable to stop staring at the simple details on the clothes Yue was wearing, at his gestures, at his lips, his jaw, the way some locks of hair fell on the little skin showing on his shoulders.He was so, so close...
"When you explain these things to me... you know, makes me feel I can be a clever monkey who knows some stuff..." he joked when Yue talked about the black pepper, but what he really wanted to say was that it made him feel Yue closer. He felt too vulnerable, somehow, his head light, as if the alcohol had lowered his defenses."Keep talking, I like to hear you speak... I love the sound of your voice..."
Yut Lung could tell by the way Shorter's voice sounded like that he was feeling... weak. He imagined being there at someone else's mercy stitching a painful wound when just a few hours ago you were trying not to get killed -all the while protecting and carrying a deadweight body- was even worse than the way his bodyguard was taking it. What an incredible strength. Shorter hadn't even slept a few hours like he had.
Yue was finishing patching the stitches when Shorter talked. "I love the sound of your voice", he said, and Yue's chest clutched as he stopped moving for just one second. It was painful, but he didn't know why. Or he did, and just didn't want to think about it.Yue looked at Shorter in the eyes for a moment and stole a fleeting gaze at his lips before standing up and walking behind him to treat the back part of the shot. He was going to say how the alcohol and the overall feeling of weakness was kicking in hard for him, but for once, Yut Lung didn't tease."It was a rough night", he said instead, preparing another needle, his voice just as feeble as Shorter's. Yue himself felt weak, too, vulnerable and dirty, the hands and body of somebody else still as present in his skin as they were hours ago. All he wanted was a shower, a long, hot shower where he could clean himself and cry if he wanted to. He was tired, young and worn out like a rag doll. Or so he felt like.
He apologized for not having many things to say right then, but even though he tried to push the thought away, the idea of Shorter not taking advantage of what they went through kept bubbling up in his throat. Until he finally said it. When he was finished with the stitches, patching Shorter's skin, he spoke in a low voice, only for them to hear. "You could've killed me", he started, his hands working carefully on him. "I don't think there will ever be another chance as good as tonight's. You've been close enough to me as to know how to take over my place. You could've set your family free from the Lees, your gang the owner of Chinatown...", Yue lowered his hands and just stood there behind Shorter, looking at his own lap with and awful knot in his throat and a burning feeling in his eyes. "Why didn't you kill me?", he asked at last, a question that, deep in Yut Lung's chest, was an unfulfilled pledge.
"Why didn't i kill you...?" Shorter started, as if the idea had never occurred to him, which was probably the case. He remembered Yue's eyes when Shorter managed to open the door of the bedroom, as Yang was about to kill him, as Shorter killed the man. How aware he was of the danger they were in and how worried he was that they wouldn't make it out of the hotel, or to the car, or to the manor. He still didn't feel they were completely safe, still feared Yue could get hurt of killed by someone willing to retaliate for what had happened tonight. It wasn't stupid to believe Shorter would ever try to kill Yue, Shorter couldn't blame him for not trusting him or anybody, for that matter. But it was hard to do so when you were surrounded by people who wanted to be exactly where you were, as it was in Yut-Lung's case...Shorter turned around to look at Yue. He looked nothing like the intimidating mafia boss he was. He looked small, vulnerable. Shorter had always found him so unattainable, so out of his league, so out of anybody's league. And still, looking at him now, it was as if all those defenses were down, that distance closed. It broke his heart a little, to see him look so sad, as if his life was worth absolutely nothing, as if saving him was a waste of resources."Everyone thinks you're cruel, cold-hearted, ruthless." he started. Alcohol let his tongue loose, but it didn't mean he spoke less than the what he really felt. "I must admit I've thought the same for some time, too. My family has been under your family's wing for a lot of time, but I was never moved by respect for them. There was just this distance and the knowledge I had to be wary of them if I didn't want to get in trouble. But over this time I got to know you, even if only a little, I found out that what most people say about you is a lie. Or that at least it's not the entire truth. Yeah, you can be cruel and ruthless with your enemies, you can kill in cold blood if that will get you what you want. But there's something else about you... I've thought about it multiple times but I still can't figure out what it is. Under that mask you put on I can see you. At least I think I can. You're hurt and broken like the rest of us. Probably even more. I can't blame you for the things you have to do, even though I'd like it wouldn't be have to like this. But we can't have that luxury, can we...? We can't have the luxury of trusting each other, and still, I trust you, even though everyone would say I'm dumb or insane, or both for doing so." Shorter was so tired he wasn't sure he could talk so much more. His hand reached for Yue's, but his touch was barely there, and he thought about how mostly everyone in Yue's life had left or had betrayed him. No wonder he asked these things, as if it were obvious it worked like this. There was nothing he hated more than that feeling. He had always trusted the members of his gang with his life, but he knew it was different for people in Yue's situation, that danger hid in the most unlikely places for him. It was sad as hell."This is the world we live in, after all, isn't it? It sucks, but it is what it is, I guess. But you're nothing like your brothers. Maybe that's why I respect you. It never even occurred to me to kill you, Yue... All I could think about tonight was that I wanted you to be safe... "
Yut Lung was trying so, so hard to keep a straight face. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Shorter as he spoke, suddenly he felt incredibly guilty. He would've never imagined Shorter's understanding of the situation was this accurate, he spoke as if he knew exactly what Yue felt, what he was going through. How was that even possible? When had he left himself so exposed in front of him? Or was it that Shorter was just too sharp?
"We can't have the luxury of trusting each other, and still, I trust you. Even though everyone would say I'm dumb or insane, or both for doing so". Yue felt like the words stuck in the back of his mind had been stolen and voiced with such an easiness he would've never achieved. He had trusted so many times... and even if he didn't want to, he kept doing it again and again. There must be something really wrong with him, but he couldn't help to trust Shorter, especially now that he could've betrayed him and didn't. He felt stupid and hopeless, but the idea -the need- of just letting go and allow himself to be vulnerable in the presence of someone he felt he could trust was killing him. Yut Lung looked at Shorter's hand on his own and repaired in how different they were, the color of their skin and the size of them. Just how they looked like together. And slowly, faint and silent like the breath of a ghost, Yue leaned forward and rested his forehead on the curve of Shorter's neck. It was funny, Yue thought, how he had teased and tried to sleep with Shorter in the most disregarded way, yet this subtle, innocent touch felt infinitely more intimate than anything else; as if just by that very, very small distance he had closed between them just now, they had trespassed what it felt like a giant wall. Closing his eyes and taking in the warmth of Shorter's skin, Yue wondered if this was what Ash feels like when he's with Eiji, even if he couldn't quite understand what it was.
Shorter held his breath for a few seconds, as if reacting to Yue's gesture would scare him away and make him retreat as if he were a deer in the wild getting closer to a human being. But that moment didn't last long and Shorter reached his hand to Yue's head to caress his hair, tilting his head a little so his lips almost touched a spot a little bit above Yue's ear. His hair smelled of something like sweet mint and he couldn't help to take in that smell a little. He feared it might seem he was being condescending or pitiful, but hoped Yue could feel Shorter was just trying to convey words he didn't know how to say out loud. Maybe they didn't even need them. Sometimes he pictured Yue surrounded by his men, or by people who praised him to no end, but Shorter knew very well that being surrounded by people didn't mean you couldn't feel lonely, and Yue seemed to feel and be so lonely it broke Shorter's heart. Nobody deserved to go though so much pain... When did they got this close? When had Shorter started to care so much for Yue as to put himself in danger just to keep him safe? The world was a terrible place, but there were people in it so worth taking care of... When had Shorter started to think about Yue as someone worth taking care of? He didn't feel awake of sober enough as to be able to answer those questions, and anyway, he didn't know if being well-rested would help him find the answers. His hand kept caressing Yue's silky hair, a sigh finally coming out of his mouth as he pressed the words against Yue's temple. "You'll be ok, Yue...”. "I'll take care of it, no matter what”, he continued in his head, promising to himself he'd do whatever it took to keep Yue safe.
Yut Lung could feel Shorter breathing so close to his ear he thought this was just as tangible as any physical touch, though the way he was caressing his hair gave Yue a feeling of peace he hadn't felt in years, not even with Blanca. This felt honest, sincere, he didn't think Shorter was doing it out of pity or condescension. He was such a pure human being Yue had wondered many times how had he ended being the leader of a mafia gang.He would've liked to ask Shorter why was he so determined to protect him when it all had started as a job he didn't really want to take in the first place, but remembered what Shorter had said about getting to know him, about seeing behind the mask he put on, about how he was nothing like his brothers. But then again... why risking his life to protect him? Yut Lung didn't fear death, he was just afraid of the pain that came with it, but why would he fear death when it felt like the only thing that would take his sorrow away? He had nothing to lose, just a prize of material, shallow things. No one would grieve for him, he'd be forgotten the very day after because he deserved it. He had earned it. But Shorter... he had a family, he had friends, people respected him out of honor and admiration. They were nothing like the other, Shorter's absence would make many people suffer and the world would definitely become a darkest place.However, Yut Lung didn't ask. Not now, not tonight. Gently, he pulled away and stood up to start cleaning the space and things he had used to treat Shorter."Sleep here", he said with a voice that didn't imply anything else than an honest request. "No one will disturb you in my room and I can keep an eye on your bandages, I have to change them in three hours". Yue finished with the aid kit and stood still for a moment with both hands on the box, as if trying to let things sink in. "Use my bed, I won't have those stitches rip open for sleeping on the couch."
Shorter stared at Yue, not really thinking about what he had said but wishing he had stayed a little bit more like that, with his head on Shorter's shoulder. He sighed and looked at the bed where Yue had been sleeping not too long ago, and it called to him, too enticing to refuse. He could already feel his eyes close with his head on one of those fluffy pillows."Okay..." he said, although he didn't like the idea of Yue sleeping in the couch. "The bed is big enough for both of us, it would be a pity that you ruin your pretty feathers for being nice with a monkey," he continued. He didn't intend to say it out loud, but he couldn't shut up, apparently, so he laughed instead. "No, really, I don't want you to sleep in the couch, it's uncomfortable as fuck, you should think about replacing it with something that doesn't feel like it hates your neck."
Yut Lung looked at Shorter for a moment with no particular face and then walked to the dressing room. "I already slept", he said, picking the clothes he'd wear after a bath. He knew Shorter didn't mean anything by "the bed is big enough for both of us" and Yue didn't mean to sound too dry with his answer, but it was true, and he wasn't sleepy. Besides, he had to take care of those bandages."I'm going to take a shower and read a book. You just sleep". Not to mention that, to him, reading a book meant holding one in his hands while he planned how to eliminate every single one of the Yangs and their families.
Without really waiting for an answer, Yut Lung walked to the bathroom with fresh clothes and closed the door behind him, opening the water tap and finally relaxing at the sound of the shower running.
I sometimes get messages about my fics and see other authors get messages like “oh my god im sorry to bother you but-” or apologizing profusely for sending multiple asks.
I promise you guys. Absolutely 0 writers are bothered by you talking to them about their fics. If you want to know a detail or are confused about something they are almost definitely sitting ready with an answer that they are excited to talk about.
Don’t feel like you HAVE to message writers (tho if you liked a fic a lot leaving comments is great encouragement) but never apologize for asking about fics or talking about them!
"How come you weren't even surprised of seeing me there?" Haruki asked. Ugetsu took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled the smoke with a soft sigh. "I figured you'd wanted to make peace with your past. Maybe meeting me and sharing some words could help you feel less alone in this. Maybe hearing me play could make you see I'm just as fucked up as you are".
Haruki held Ugetsu's stare for a moment replaying those words in his head. It was funny how this guy seemed to understand him maybe more than he understood himself. Moments later, he shrugged and turned to look at Ugetsu as he lifted his glass with a smirk. "To our fucked up selves."
Sadly not what I had in mind for this year’s FMA day, but I’m still burned out post con :( I was thinking of skipping it but my conscience would not let me sleep without drawing something FMA related for today 😂
"Haruki's mind drifted towards Ugetsu Murata. He had been wanting to go to one of Ugetsu's performances for some time now, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe because the violinist was a piece of a bigger picture Haruki was trying to undestand. Ugetsu had been an important part in Akihiko's life, and he was sure it was the same the other way around. Haruki knew Ugetsu probably had had it worse with Akihiko than him. Maybe he just wanted to listen to Ugetsu play and see if he could find in his music that same nameless feeling Haruki had stuck into his chest since that afternoon he talked with Mafuyu. Maybe he just wanted to feel he shared some of this pain with someone else, that he wasn't as alone as he felt."
A self-indulgent parallel storyline to Given in which Haruki leaves the band after a series of events between him and Akihiko, Ugetsu has moved out, and we give them both the love they deserve.
Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand
The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain
I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me
I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love
Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me
Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"
I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love
Stab the dollls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying
Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls
You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary ennemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream
I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams
Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind
Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life
Hello! I read your rant about Given and I thought it was interesting, what do you think will happen now? What would you like to happen?
I don't really know what's going to happen, but I think we'll get to see a little bit more of Ugetsu in the future because, even though he's not one of the main characters, he is important to the development of the story. I'm a firm believer that Ugetsu is still very much in love with Akihiko, even if he keeps pushing him away. We all know Gusari is the master of portraying complex human relationships... I can't say I'm not frustrated with the way things are going right now, but I know she has an ace under the sleeve. She always does.
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