Prolific Internal Insight

The Original Tasena

[senabear]

Time to finally let go for good. I just dont feel like it was all for nothing...but maybe my gut and everything inside me is telling a lie. I release that little red balloon to float into oblivion.

[thehopefulquotes]

“One of the most beautiful things we can do is to help one another. Kindness doesn’t cost a thing.”

— Unknown

[senabear]

I hate that there is still moments of longing. Moments of when I look into her eyes I can tell she misses you too. Both hurt, by the void left, where the significance of your presence once lived. Hoping one day, we will mean as much to you, as you ever did to us. Yet expecting the silence to remain.

I just wonder in these fleeting moments of reminecing. are you doing the same? Is that the trigger that provokes the thought of you? Or is it just me?

[spiritualseeker777]

[senabear]

[senabear]

[senabear]

A detailed breakdown:

Unexpected Love:

The core theme revolves around finding love in an unforeseen place, highlighting the surprise and unexpectedness of such connections.

Guidance and Clarity:

The lyrics suggest that love can act as a source of clarity and direction, helping one navigate life's uncertainties.

Self-Reflection and Warning:

The "warning sign" aspect implies a need for self-reflection and a reminder that sometimes, logic can lead to losing sight of what truly matters.

Emotional Rollercoaster:

The song's lyrics create an emotional journey, weaving together feelings of love, confusion, and eventual acceptance.

Themes of Loss and Longing:

The song also touches upon themes of loss and longing, hinting at the bittersweet nature of love and its potential for heartbreak.

All of the above rings true in my experience. Still confusion but a deeper understanding of how deep this love penetrates and because of that it is truly transforming who I am.

I’m learning that the outbursts I have when the fear of abandonment creeps in is really my inner child grasping for any attention, right? Because my younger self craved attention, good or bad, any is better then none, and I was more successful with the latter of the 2, so now to learn to reparent that piece of myself.

[senabear]

[senabear]

Says it all

[senabear]

He came back around, professed his love, I chose him only for him to take it all back and distance himself.

My part however, I’m figuring out I am an anxious attachment style…which pushes people away more than it fosters connection…I am working on healing, whether or not he comes back around I need to do it for myself.

Then there is another prospect who in between the back and forth with this guy came into my life to only fall in love and is determined to get me back…I don’t know why I resist it so much for my heart is still with the other but I only seem to get hurt…it is maddening.

I know that guy number one was only a catalyst to my spiritual growth and isn’t necessarily meant to be in my life forever…it is very hard to let go when something that profound was initiated. Then again, I do have major abandonment wounds that some of which are deep seated and probably still have yet to be unearth, so I could still have more healing in that area.

My astrology shows that I am in a period of transformation until the end of the year, making it to where the outcome is not in my control and I have to take a back seat and surrender. I am totally okay with doing that except when it comes to my children.

I have fought and fought and fought for justice for myself and children yet the justice system fail us. No GAL dispite 2 requests to the judge both being denied, the a contradictory outcome. Stating “no substantial change in circumstances” then why approve the petition in the first place and make up go all the way to trial??! It makes no sense. They’re father is very emotionally and verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive, my oldest thinks it’s okay to call people an f**** n****r when he is upset because he witnessed his father do so to my youngest who is intellectually disabled…he took Christmas away from me due to a misunderstanding and now he failed to tell me about a school appointment and is going to refuse my request for respite during the summer claiming that he is “concerned” because I didn’t show up…when this year is the first year for him to go to ANY IEP meeting….not to mention he did not include me on our youngest’s school sign up making it to where I was unable to pick my son up from school…whereas he didn’t lift a finger before custody…I had them full time and he paid me child support under the table even though our arrangement stated otherwise….a month before trial he yanked the kids away from me unexpectedly claiming I had “left them in a trap house” having in turn homeless people take over the duties I took care of…I feel completely helpless and angry…and cheated.

Thanks for making it this far if compelled to read my mouth vomit.

[thoughtkick]

“I am simply thankful for your existence - whether I am meant to be a part of it or not.”

— Beau Taplin

[thehopefulquotes]

“One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.”

— Unknown

[thoughtkick]

“Maybe well meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now, I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.”

— Unknown

[emotionalwords]

[senabear]

Without Me (ILLENIUM Remix) [Mixed] by Halsey on Apple Music

Song · 2024 · Duration 2:35

Im doing the best I can do with the circumstances I have. Sometimes when there are new circumstances, never experienced before, mistakes can more easily be made. That’s how we learn right? Just sucks when those circumstances involve other people who are directly affected by the decision you make and either way someone will end up hurt. Now I feel, in the end, ultimately, as I try to do the next right thing maybe all involved suffer to some degree. Questioning if it was all worth it to begin with? Fml.

[senabear]

I express this to hopefully encourage out of the box thinking in regard to dating people who have children from a previous relationship.

I would not tell someone how to raise their child, it is not my place, and even if I did, I would hope that one might question it enough to educate themselves on behalf of their child AND themself before taking an opinion as fact. There are reasons for why every individual will do things the way that they do and if it happens to be different it doesn't necessarily make it wrong.(outside of obvious abuse/neglect) That should be respected even if it isn't understood or accepted.

[perfectfeelings]

“You can’t help what you feel, but you can help how you behave”

— Margaret Atwood

[senabear]

What life is currently teaching me.

[senabear]