Green Oak Fite Squad

Currently a Pokemon Fanfiction blog, slowly rediscovering a love for older fandoms I've been in.

[mermeirin]

Another quick coffee paint! Ethan bringing a lone egg home in the chilly autumn TuT

[seniichi]

@pichupurin

[nervousbreadchaos-deactivated20]

From the Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife page on Facebook, based in Australia…

The three-eyed snake warns The Dry is coming!

Our Rangers found a three-eyed snake on the Arnhem Highway near Humpty Doo just out of Darwin. It was a juvenile, approximately 40cm long.

The snake is peculiar as an x-ray revealed it was not two separate heads forged together, rather it appeared to be one skull with an additional eye socket and three functioning eyes.

It was generally agreed that the eye likely developed very early during the embryonic stage of development. It is extremely unlikely that this is from environmental factors and is almost certainly a natural occurrence as malformed reptiles are relatively common.

[seniichi]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[pichupurin]

[jelly-zip]

[anamatics]

They took all the pop music. And made the perfect pop song. I am in awe.

[pansexualflute]

It’s great because the person who made this is really talented, but it also acts as commentary on how interchangeable songs in a given genre (especially pop) are.

[shorm]

It… really doesn’t. This doesn’t follow standard chord progressions, they’re not all in the same key or tempo (that’s all been altered), and this is a genuinely new melody (and set of lyrics) pieced together from pieces. 

Calling this a commentary on how ~modern music is all interchangeable~ really just downplays the talent you’re talking about in the first part of that sentence.

[gobbochune-deactivated20241018]

im a mashup bastard and i love mashups!

[linvaniin]

✦Opening commissions again! ✦

In dire need of money for my school tuition, any RB + share would be appreciated! 

DM and read through doc if interested: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rlbd9ADZUQOneVZCn1IGTP7It-mDpCipwMEEtMZBcdY/edit?usp=sharing … 

Thank you!!

[novallion]

Okay, but, imagine. Vanitas.....with a ponytail

this is not what anyone asked for…

[seniichi]

Ultima (II)

Summary: The Power of Waking was abused a time too many. With that abuse, it inverts reality, subverts expectations, and turns the greatest lights into the darkest of shadows.

Note: If you like my work, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi account - Seniichi.

Sora’s arms are crossed, long legs tucked up into his seat as he sulks. Vincent carefully does not smile, though in truth he wanted to, especially as he knew his son well enough to know that Sora was merely pouting, as he was wont to do whenever they did something unexpected, especially one he was unhappy with. He’d been in that position for nearly five hours at this point, making his displeasure known in a way only he could.

“You know, this is hardly the worst thing in the world,” Vincent tells his son, who huffs unhappily. “It’s not as though that phone of yours won’t let you and your companions keep in contact,” he points out, reminding his son of the item he’d gifted him for his birthday only a mere three months ago. Sora pouts deeper, and Vincent sighs, slowing his ship so he can turn his seat, face the boy he’d been raising since the child had been four years of age. Now, at seventeen, they were leaving Traverse Town to embark on a new world. He’d fought against the change for a while at first, before sliding into the resigned defeat of one who was not happy.

“We’re moving because I screwed up. They’re not going to want to talk to me after what I did.” His tone is sour, and Vincent internally winces. That… was unfortunately a distinct possibility. Sora, despite his youthful and sweet nature, had caused nearly as many problems as Vincent himself had over the years, and the most recent – a rather unfortunate burst of magic that had nearly taken the power out of Traverse Town’s downtown district – had necessitated a move.

“Surely your friend Kairi wouldn’t do such a thing.” At her name, Sora brightens, the mention of his best friend cheering him up from the dark thoughts in his head.

“That’s true,” he says, cheered up immediately from the mere mention of her. Vincent chuckles slightly, ruffling the thick mop of hair that flies every which way at his gentle touch. Sora ducks away with a whine but smiles at his father all the same in thanks. “I think she said something about sending me a good luck message,” Sora continues, though his pout returns after a moment. “But we have no service,” he grumbles, and Vincent chuckles at his son.

“We’re almost there.” He’s said that more than a few times, and Sora’s unimpressed glare is proof enough of that.

“You said that nearly an hour ago,” Sora grumbles at his father, though he’s smart enough not to argue when Vincent raises an eyebrow. “… Where are we going anyways?” Vincent chuckles as his son finally shows enough curiosity at where they’re going to peer out of the window of Cerberus’s cockpit. They’d traveled outside of the isolated world of Traverse Town before, embarking to Hollow Bastion and – very briefly – to the Isles of Destiny for brief vacations, but the place they were going was far more… upscale, than his son was used to.

“We’re going back to my home.” Sora’s eyes go wide, and he tries to lean forward, peer into his father’s eyes to see if he was joking, only to find that no, Vincent was serious.

“You’re taking me to your home?” He splutters, and Vincent almost laughs at his child’s disbelief. “You’re joking, right?” He reaches out to ruffle his son’s hair again, amused, and he doesn’t mind when Sora ducks away yet again. “I thought you said it was dangerous for me?” Vincent slides a glance Sora’s way, and the boy reddens slightly.

“You’re right. Regardless, Traverse Town is no longer a place you can stay.” The earlier incident is proof enough, and Sora’s eyes lower in shame. “Shh.” He murmurs, setting his gloved hand on top of Sora’s head. “You’re young. Save the shame for when you’ve actually gone and fucked up.” That, at least, makes a laugh burst from Sora’s lips, lips curling up into a genuine, enthusiastic smile at his father’s use of humor. A light creates a spark in the distance, and Vincent smiles wryly. “We’re actually almost there – I think you’ll love it.” Sora turns his attention to the dark, vast space before him, visible excitement on his features. The glowing light grows brighter with every second, until the world unveils itself, a glittering sphere of lights swirling in a stormfield. The main display however, is the massive crystal field, sprawling grounds crossing over the green landscape with wild abandon, large spires shimmering with hidden power. “Welcome to my home. Eos of Gaia – these Worlds used to be separate, but a calamity between the Fallen Starscourge JENOVA and the Wicked Healer Ardyn Izunia set both worlds on a collision course with one another, creating Eos of Gaia from its ruins.” He chuckles ruefully. “The outcome created a more powerful World than either of them expected, and each World’s respective Calamity was eventually slain by the other when their quarrel became about who would rule.” Sora props his head up on the console, eyes far away and starry with admiration.

“It’s such a pretty world,” Sora says to his father, lost in the shimmering glow of the World before them. Blue eyes glow softly from the reflected light, making him seem almost ethereal in the light. Vincent carefully removes his hand, watching his son’s spellbound attention as it refuses to be swayed. A soft moue of confusion curls his lips, and Sora glances his way as a thought flickers through his eyes. “Uh… Dad? I thought both those Worlds had a rule about a Chosen Champion.” Vincent can hear the air quotes in his son’s voice at the words, and he gives a chuckle of quiet, faint amusement. His son loved the history of the Worlds and had sat by his knee for hours at a time, enraptured by the histories he’d spin about the places he had been to during his previous work. It was the only time the boy held still in his youth.

“There’s a reason Worlds are not meant to mix. By colliding together, they altered what should be and created a new Destined Path. Whatever that is, we cannot truly be sure.” Vincent shrugs, lifting a shoulder even as he returns to steering the vessel. “However, I’m sure we’ll find out – you have a knack for that.” He’s only teasing, but Sora’s face blooms with a red flush of embarrassment.  “Now, there are a great many places we can land – I thought I’d ask you which city you’d like to spend the summer in before we transfer to your new school.” Sora perks up, all embarrassment forgotten in the thought of enjoying his summer in one of the prettier locales Eos of Gaia offered. He’d heard much of the famous Wutai, the city of Altissia built over the underwater ruins of the Ancient’s City, the scenes of Nibelheim’s sloped mountains and massive villages. The sunny beaches of Costa Del Sol, and the expansive skies of the Lestallum city as it overlooked valleys and fields that sloped into the glorious technological marvel that was Cosmo Canyon. To top them all off, the Crown Jewels that laid within Eos of Gaia – Midgar and Insomnia – were set on opposite sides of the world, their glittering blue and green spires visible in the distance. “Now, as much as I adore your questions, we’re running low on fuel – surely there’s somewhere you want to go.” Sora peers curiously at the World, before frowning a little.

“Hmm…” Sora’s lost in his thoughts again, before his eyes pick something out from the planet, something that interests him. “That one.” He gestures towards it, unsure of which part it was. While the landmarks of his father’s tales intrigued him, there was one that stood far above the others. “Altissia.” Vincent’s breath leaves in a soft huff.

“Of course, that’s what you’d pick.” His tone is rueful, but he doesn’t veto his son’s choice. The mystery of the Ancient’s City coupled with the Eos shrine of Altissia was a wonderous lure for a boy who loved the mystical history of the Combined Worlds. “Promise me if you choose to explore, you’ll do so with a weapon in hand.” He sighs fondly, and Sora nods immediately, eager to do whatever it took to get a chance to look around. “I know you have a weapon of your own – however, while in Altissia, we’ll purchase you one of your own that will work underwater but use yours until we get there.” Sora nods eagerly, though Vincent only really sees it out of the corner of his eye as he angles to land. “We won’t be able to land in Altissia proper, so we’ll be able to explore a little bit on our way to the port. Altissia is a holiday destination, and that aside…” He gives a faint, sheepish smile. “The ship is a little too big to park anywhere but on the mainland.” Sora blinks, before giving an amused snort in response to his father’s words, a smile blooming over his face.

“Of course it is,” he sighs, laughing at his father light-heartedly, turning to watch as his father steers the ship into place, handling her with graceful ease. Sora sits properly when his father gestures, buckling in his belt as he observes the change in the atmosphere around them, fully intending to enjoy the experience. The world around them glows and brightens, and Sora turns his attention to the massive spires of stone as they pass them, wishing wistfully they could stop to get a piece of the crystal – it’d look so cool as a necklace. The landing is gentle, and Sora’s quick to unbuckle his belt, help his father shut down Cerberus so they can start travelling as soon as possible.

“We won’t need most of this,” Vincent tells his son when he moves to pick up the suitcases. “Just grab the one I had you pack first.” Sora frowns thoughtfully, before snagging the requested item and hauling it over his back.

“Are you sure? I left Lady Luck in that suitcase.” Vincent eyes him when his son admits to that, before rolling his eyes heavenward in silent annoyance. “I still have Divine Rose,” Sora says, a little defensively.

“Divine Rose is fine,” Vincent pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath about gun-collecting enthusiasts. Sora glares at him, before letting it slide – his father was worse, so he didn’t see why it was such a big deal if he had a few – okay, maybe a lot – of guns himself. “You’re getting a new one here anyways – we’ll have to take a car, and Eos of Gaia is not safe at night. JENOVA and Izunia may be dead, but the Starscourge is still alive and well – and it thrives at night. We’ll have to get a few backup weapons regardless.” Sora eyes his father dubiously, before smirking.

“You’re just rationalizing getting more shiny things that fire bullets,” he cackles when Vincent’s hand moves to swat him gently, ducking under the very half-hearted attempt before jogging over to the door. “I’m going to see if I can a better signal and see if Kairi messaged me,” Sora says, “I’ll be right outside!” Before his father can give a snarl of (mock) annoyance, he’s out, the door of Cerberus closing behind him. He takes a seat on the step, tugging his shorts down so that they don’t ride up while he opens his phone, tongue sticking out as he thumbs through it, locating his Kingsgram app with a bit of difficulty. (Seriously, why were all the icons the same after an update – he’d have to get to a computer and change the icons again.) There are a few messages – to his surprise, he’d gotten more than a few well-wishes over on Kingsgram wishing him luck. He looks around, seeing nothing but the greenery of the forest around the edges of the clearing before lifting his phone up and taking a photo. He posts it with a satisfied smile, thanking his friends for thinking of him. It’s not much, but his friends seemed to care, and he was pleased to see that his worrying – i.e. brooding – hadn’t ended up being a reality. He exits that one and taps the standard messenger. Out of all his friends, only Kairi and Irvine had his actual phone number. He’s surprised to see that Irvine had sent a photo attachment rather than his usual rapid-fire messages on Kingsgram, and on opening it, busts out laughing.

Apparently, he’d scorched Irvine’s cowboy hat. He types an apology quickly, thumbs flashing over the screen as he promises to buy him one and have it sent over. Once he’s done, he hesitates over Kairi’s icon, furrowing his brow over the little icon that cheerily declared that he had 14 messages from her. He presses it and scrolls up to see what she’d sent him.

Sora, I miss you already. Irvine’s fun but he sucks at sneaking out of the dorms after curfew. Not to mention he’s sulking about his break-up with Selphie again. Help me before I take my sneaker to his head.

YOU’RE AN ANGEL YOU SET HIS HAT ON FIRE. HE’S FORGOTTEN ENTIRELY ABOUT SELPHIE.

Okay no you’re not an angel – he’s holding a funeral for the damn thing. I promised to buy him a new one, but he’s committed to this. IT’S A HAT SORA. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

I think he’s calmed down from the whole funeral for his hat – but you better watch out for itching powder in your shorts if you visit us – he sounds serious about vengeance.

I miss you – classes aren’t as fun without you. And I’m jealous – it’s so not fair you get to start vacation a week early. You better send me some flowers to add to my pressed flower collection – I’m dying to know if there are any that glow at night out in the other Worlds.

Your dad said you were going to Eos of Gaia – is it as pretty as it looks in the videos? You’ve got to upload some photos to Kingsgram for me! And try out the mochi – let me know if I’ve got competition. Mom and I have a reputation to uphold as the best mochi in all the Worlds. Nobody’s allowed to beat us!

Hayner, Pence, and Olette stopped by using TT’s train station – they only missed you by an hour at the station, and they said they’re sorry they missed you, but good luck on your move!

So, I was thinking – it’s mindboggling that a train can somehow travel to other Worlds – I’ve got to find out what kind of magic it is – I bet it’s something amazing.

So, if where you’re living has a train station, let me know! I’ll visit you during the winter hols or something – something to work towards! You better make lots of friends for me to meet too!

Hey – if you’re visiting Altissia, you better send me a photo of what the sunsets look like from there. I’ve heard they’re fabulous. And the same goes for Cosmo Canyon! Oooh, I’d love to live in a desert canyon someday – I’d bet they have great ice cream joints. Mmm. Ice cream mochi sounds great right about now.

Your house is already sold – whoever your dad hired works quick damn it. I was hoping to sneak into the garden and get one last papou fruit from your guys’ tree and get the seeds. I hope the tree doesn’t die – you two were the only ones who could make papou trees grow around here.

Hey, I’ve heard that Eos of Gaia has lots of monsters. Please be safe! I know you’re careful but I’m still worried. If all else fails set something on fire – you’re good at that.

It’s not your fault by the way. Kuja was just a giant jerk – I think you did everyone a favor by knocking him down a peg or two. Don’t let yourself get bogged down by your own guilt – don’t look at your screen you know I’m right.

Hey. I’ll see you soon. Miss you already.

Sora smiles, fingers tracing her last message – it’s a photo of her and Irvine, big grins and thumbs up for the camera, with a message that they would see him soon scrawled with the digital touchpad on the bottom. He sighs, hauling himself up on his feet as his father steps out of the ship, locking the door behind him. In a burst of inspiration, he slings his arm around his father’s shoulder, hearing the man give a grunt of surprise as he presses a cheek against his and snapping a quick photo. Vincent gives him an annoyed look, running a hand through his short hair to return it to some semblance of order while Sora rapidly types away, sending Kairi the attachment and letting her know that he’d gotten there safe, he was going to Altissia, and that he’d take a ton of photos for her and grab a few flowers for her collection and send them by train. Vincent peers over his shoulder, watching his son with brief annoyance.

“I look like an idiot in the photo,” he complains to his son as the file is sent off. “While I fully support you keeping in touch, can you please not send photos of me that make me look as though I am a massive fool?” Sora gives his father a skeptical look.

“Dad, you look like you walked out of a runway no matter what I do,” he says, incredulous. “Look at this!” He brandishes the phone, showing his father what he’d just taken. Despite looking a little startled, Sora’s prediction holds true, and Vincent – despite looking surprised – looks no different than his usual unruffled appearance. “You look fine. I’m the one who looks like a dork.” He grins when all he gets is a faint harrumph from his father figure, reaching out to pat his arm affectionately. “I love you too dad,” he chuckles. “Seriously, lighten up a little.” It’s an old argument, and before Vincent can open his mouth to scold his son, Sora flips his phone around to show him Kairi’s newest message.

Wow! You guys sure made good time – I heard from Olette the train normally takes 3 days to get there! And I’m so glad you two are in good enough shape to take photos – tell your dad I like the new haircut! A bit serious, but it makes him look nice!

“So?” Sora’s grin is smug, and Vincent pokes his son on the forehead.

“Using Kairi to get out of a scolding – she’s not even here,” he complains, and Sora grins, knows he’s forgiven. “Alright, I can let it pass this time,” Vincent sounds rueful about it, shifting his shoulders as the button up shirt he wore stretched over the skin. Sora doesn’t have to read his mind to know his father was unhappy about not having his cloak to conceal himself with. Or his short hair. One of the many things he’d changed about himself while they’d been preparing to move had been his outfit. He’d explained a little about his old job, and while he wasn’t going to be rejoining that employment anytime soon, Vincent didn’t want his history as a mercenary in other worlds to be linked back to him. Sora personally missed seeing his father’s long hair – it’d been as much a part of him as his dark, almost theatrical outfit. Vincent shifts uncomfortably under his son’s scrutiny, until Sora gives him a hug. It’s quick, and his father gives him a grateful smile for it. “Thank you regardless.” Vincent concedes his son’s unspoken remark, and the two set off, the older of the two pulling his phone out to check the map. “We’ll be stopping here – it’s only twenty minutes away from where we are now. I’ll be able to introduce you to two people I think you should meet. If I recall, they have a son about your age,” he adds thoughtfully. “At least, if I understood the letters right. They were very enthusiastic about it, but to be frank, I didn’t pay them much mind.” Vincent chuckles slightly. “They’re like puppies, in a way. Extremely enthusiastic about life – though I am glad – he was a SOLDIER, and given the opportunity, he chose to leave that life behind with his lovely wife.” Sora hums, listening to his father curiously. He knew a little about SOLDIERS – they were an even more advanced form of Magitek Troopers – those who had the durability to outlast the Starscourge of JENOVA and were purified by the kingdom of Lucis – but he’d never heard of them leaving the military. Some of his puzzlement must have showed, because Vincent chuckles and continues. “Technically he’s retired – after his service, he needed the rest, and instead of being forced back to work he was given permission to retire, which frankly is a good thing – he deserves it.” Sora nods, a little distracted at the thought, before smiling up at his father.

“Well, I’ll be more than happy to meet him. He sounds like my kind of guy.” Sora says cheerfully, tucking his phone away so he can put his hands behind his head. “Why are we heading their way? Are they a rest stop or something?”

“Or something,” Vincent agrees amiably enough. “Last I heard, they ran a small diner around here with a bit of space upstairs for guests, but I don’t know if they ever changed it to a proper bed and breakfast place or not.” They step out of the forest, and Vincent turns, gesturing for his son to follow. “It’s a rough place for people out here – that clearing we landed in is one of the few safe places left – it’s warded against the Demons that roam at night, and some of the wards have failed in older cities. Now that you’re old enough to keep yourself out of trouble, however, I think we shouldn’t have any issues at night.” Sora gives him a sidelong look, and Vincent chuckles. “Any monster trouble. I’m afraid the human side you’re on your own.” Sora pouts a little at his father for the light ribbing, before he sighs and trudges onward towards their destination.

[seniichi]

Ultima

Summary: The Power of Waking was abused a time too many. With that abuse, it inverts reality, subverts expectations, and turns the greatest lights into the darkest of shadows.

Note: If you like my work, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi account - Seniichi.

Waves lap delicately across glistening white sands, moonlight bathing the beach in her ethereal glow. The waves flash lightly with bioluminescent stars, cresting with every wave and fading into the night in the unerring rhythm of moontide. The sands are smooth and unbroken across most of the beach, though there were signs of a faint disturbance that even now were being erased by the waves.

The crunch of a boot on sand is just barely audible over the whispering waves, the rippling red of a cloak pulled tight over the recluse’s shoulders shimmering at the edges with moonglow. Ruby hued irises scope out the landscape, carefully provide their owner the details of which he had not been given by the reports from the locals.

(It was unlikely he would find what he was searching for, this time.)

A falling star from the heavens, bringing with it sunset to the fabled, timeless, Destiny Isles. He had been to these shores before, spurred on by the desire to find what he was seeking, discover the truth behind his mysterious origins. He is again disappointed. There is nothing here, no sign of what had fallen to this island. Light gleams from the corner of his eye, and he draws his weapon in a heartbeat, aiming towards the very center of where the mysterious intrusion had come from.

Nothing.

He sheaths his weapon once more, annoyance warring with relief that it was nothing more than a false alarm yet again. Relief that he did not have to shatter the fragile peace of this last, untouched sanctuary, annoyance at being caught off guard so easily by a mere glint of light. He moves to dismiss it when it happens again, and he pauses in his movement to melt into the shadows, go home. He counts the seconds, and it only takes two more repetitions before he realizes the pattern is not random – it matches the act of breathing perfectly. He follows the reflection, pausing to let it guide the way. He stops at the keyhole-shaped entryway, hesitant. There was always something ominous about this part of the Destiny Isles – as though something terrible had happened here, in this space. The flicker of light happens again, a gleam of moonlight lancing off silver to aid him in pinpointing the mystery.

A child lays before him, sprawled out in sleep, soaked from the sea. He frowns, looking back and seeing no trail of sodden sand that would herald the child’s passage. He kneels down, reaching a hand out to grasp the item from the child’s neck. He pauses for a moment, slowing his movement as he recalls the fragility of children, a taloned glove wrapping around the metal with infinite gentility, lifting it to his sight.

A silver crown. A shiver runs up his spine at the sight, lowering it and settling the object back on the child’s chest. Every soul in his line of work knew that sigil. Spray painted over old buildings, stained on the ground, hidden in the landscapes… the hidden crown of a dark savior. The light flashes over the item as the boy breathes again. It’s pretty, but the metal is tarnished, tendrils of corroded silver glowing ominously in the dim light of the moon. The boy cannot stay here. Even knowing of him was dangerous, and the people who lived on the Isles of Destiny believed in the prophecy – enough for them to strike him down while he was still young and helpless. He has done a great many cruel things in his life, but this awful, horrible thing, he would not do. Leaving a child at the mercy of fanatics? He scoops the boy up into his grasp, checking him over for damage. He purses his lips when he sees a pale, crown-shaped birthmark laid on the boy’s left thigh. Hiding that would be difficult, and the boy needed every protection he could be given. He would have to change his home again – his companions would be unhappy, but a child deserved a life free of persecution – and he would not find it here. He drapes his cape over the damp child, casting one last glance over the area. The child does not stir, even as he makes his way out of the cave, leaving nothing but a damp silhouette behind. Despite the beauty that laid here, this place - this hallowed land, was not safe.

The Isles of Destiny was not a place for a child like this.

The child remains still during his trek, even when he must set him down to open the heavy gate of the Cerberus to enter his ship. His breathing remains soft and even, hair spilling over his arm as it pillows his head from the ground. “You must be exhausted.” He says, taking the boy back into his arms, hearing nothing but a soft, sleepy murmur - the first sound the child had made so far. He cradles the boy, feels the fragile heartbeat as the child curls even closer, tiny fingers digging into his cloak, unwilling to relinquish the new item in their grasp. The child is affectionate despite his supposed nature, and he cannot help but smile when the boy refuses to let him go. It wasn’t an impossibility that the child would be innocent still – evil was rarely born – but even so, within his grasp was a being that could cause untold damage. Ending the threat would be simple - easy, even. But he had never harmed a child, and even one as terrible as this one was prophesied to be would be safe from him.

“Come now little one,” he murmurs. “There will be a place for you where we are going.”

[celeine]

if you follow me on twitter you’ve noticed i’ve been tweeting about the state of my current pc. the truth is, it’s quite bad! this thing has been on a 4+ year journey with me and it shows!!! i worry everyday for when it gives out so it’s time to put this poor thing to rest

the goal atm is to make half the amount needed for the new pc i’m going to upgrade to, which is $450 (but the total goal is ~$900) ALL commission money made will be used for the new pc! if you’re interested, please email me at [email protected] or you can also message me here

if you’re not looking for a commission but would still like to help with the goal, here is my ko-fi! ko-fi.com/celeine

and if you can’t afford either, a reblog will always help! thank you for looking!!!

[seniichi]

LOOK AT HIM!!! I’m weeping I love myself (1) one happy fire punchy boi. A million and then some thanks to the amazing @celeine, who was the artist behind this beautiful work of art. Please admire Huey who no longer looks like a stop sign in all the wrong ways.

[bigherosixed]

Right, of course, important water. I stare at the important water and somehow, magically, I’ll start singing about my dream?

[fthgurdy]

I have had this on my mind for days, someone please help:

Why are dogs dogs?

I mean, how do we see a pug and then a husky and understand that both are dogs? I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a picture of a breed of dog I hadn’t seen before and wondered what animal it was.

[elodieunderglass]

Do you want the Big Answer or the Small Answers cos I have a feeling this is about to get Intense

[fthgurdy]

Oooh okay are YOU gonna answer this, hang on I need to get some snacks and make sure the phone is off.

[elodieunderglass]

The short answer is “because they’re statistically unlikely to be anything else.”

The long question is “given the extreme diversity of morphology in dogs, with many subsets of ‘dogs’ bearing no visual resemblance to each other, how am I able to intuit that they belong to the ‘dog’ set just by looking?”

The reason that this is a Good Big Question is because we are broadly used to categorising Things as related based on resemblances. Then everyone realized about genes and evolution and so on, and so now we have Fun Facts like “elephants are ACTUALLY closely related to rock hyraxes!! Even though they look nothing alike!!”

These Fun Facts are appealing because they’re not intuitive. So why is dog-sorting intuitive?

Well, because if you eliminate all the other possibilities, most dogs are dogs.

To process Things - whether animals, words, situations or experiences - our brains categorise the most important things about them, and then compare these to our memory banks. If we’ve experienced the same thing before - whether first-hand or through a story - then we know what’s happening, and we proceed accordingly.

If the New Thing is completely New, then the brain pings up a bunch of question marks, shunts into a different track, counts up all the Similar Traits, and assigns it a provisional category based on its similarity to other Things. We then experience the Thing, exploring it further, and gaining new knowledge. Our brain then categorises the New Thing based on the knowledge and traits. That is how humans experience the universe. We do our best, and we generally do it well.

This is the basis of stereotyping. It underlies some of our worst behaviours (racism), some of our most challenging problems (trauma), helps us survive (stories) and sharing the ability with things that don’t have it leads to some of our most whimsical creations (artificial intelligence.)

In fact, one reason that humans are so wonderfully successful is that we can effectively gain knowledge from experiences without having experienced them personally! You don’t have to eat all the berries to find the poisonous ones. You can just remember stories and descriptions of berries, and compare those to the ones you’ve just discovered. You can benefit from memories that aren’t your own!

On the other hand, if you had a terribly traumatic experience involving, say, an eagle, then your brain will try to protect you in every way possible from a similar experience. If you collect too many traumatic experiences with eagles, then your brain will not enjoy eagle-shaped New Things. In fact, if New Things match up to too many eagle-like categories, such as

* pointy * Specific!! Squawking noise!! * The hot Glare of the Yellow Eye * Patriotism?!? * CLAWS VERY BAD VERY BAD

Then the brain may shunt the train of thought back into trauma, and the person will actually experience the New Thing as trauma. Even if the New Thing was something apparently unrelated, like being generally pointy, or having a hot glare. (This is an overly simplistic explanation of how triggers work, but it’s the one most accessible to people.)

So the answer rests in how we categorise dogs, and what “dog” means to humans. Human brains associate dogs with universal categories, such as

* four legs * Meat Eater * Soft friend * Doggo-ness???? * Walkies * An Snout, * BORK BORK

Anything we have previously experienced and learned as A Dog gets added to the memory bank. Sometimes it brings new categories along with it. So a lifetime’s experience results in excellent dog-intuition.

And anything we experience with, say, a 90% match is officially a Dog.

Brains are super-good at eliminating things, too. So while the concept of physical doggo-ness is pretty nebulous, and has to include greyhounds and Pekingese and mastiffs, we know that even if an animal LOOKS like a bear, if the other categories don’t match up in context (bears are not usually soft friends, they don’t Bork Bork, they don’t have long tails to wag) then it is statistically more likely to be a Doggo. If it occupies a dog-shaped space then it is usually a dog.

So if you see someone dragging a fluffy whatnot along on a string, you will go,

* Mop?? (Unlikely - seems to be self-propelled.) * Alien? (Unlikely - no real alien ever experienced.) * Threat? (Vastly unlikely in context.) * Rabbit? (No. Rabbits hop, and this appears to scurry.) (Brains are very keen on categorising movement patterns. This is why lurching zombies and bad CGI are so uncomfortable to experience, brains just go “INCORRECT!! That is WRONG!” Without consciously knowing why. Anyway, very few animals move like domestic dogs!) * Very fluffy cat? (Maybe - but not quite. Shares many characteristics, though!) * Eldritch horror? (No, it is obviously a soft friend of unknown type) * Robotic toy? (Unlikely - too complex and convincing.) * alert: amusing animal detected!!! This is a good animal!! This is pleasing!! It may be appropriate to laugh at this animal, because we have just realized that it is probably a … * DOG!!!! Soft friend, alive, walks on leash. It had a low doggo-ness quotient! and a confusing Snout, but it is NOT those other Known Things, and it occupies a dog-shaped space! * Hahahaha!!! It is extra funny and appealing, because it made us guess!!!! We love playing that game. * Best doggo. * PING! NEW CATEGORIES ADDED TO “Doggo” set: mopness, floof, confusing Snout.

And that’s why most dogs are dogs. You’re so good at identifying dog-shaped spaces that they can’t be anything else!

[zabchan]

this post made my day and has many wholesome quotable phrases.

[seniichi]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[seniichi]

Another photo of my pso2 protag. I’m crying at how perfect this timing was. I was going to get rid of the mag but then the aurora went away so boo.

[seniichi]

Zeno: Hey look back at me for a second I need to tell you something.

[Elder]: ?

Zeno: Bitch.

[britttaperryhasmoved-deactivate]

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY

[factorielle]

It’s December 10th now and I’m putting this in my queue for next year.

[meabhair]

going up now coz I’m not netting on this hellsite being here next year

[seniichi]

“Okay look, I’m here. I’ve got very important Guardianing things to do so if you don’t mind -”

“Is that a fucking gremlin?”

“Nobody feed that thing after midnight.”

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…