hiii!! :) welcome to my little blog where i post my little thoughts that i may or may not ever get around to writing in full
im sam!! im trans, my pronouns are he/they, + im bi and poly yay!!
im an avid selfshipper with lots of f/os across different media, however i don't intend on posting about my selfships very much here so that any selective or nonsharing f/o doubles are comfortable when interacting :)
also im autistic so i apologize if im kinda slow to understand or need a more detailed explanation of stuff sometimes,,, pls be patient with me, im trying my best!! (tone tags are not always necessary but are appreciated!)
my other blogs are: @rustbrush (art/main) and @paintscraps (long writing)
f/o doubles are free to interact/follow me and reblog my posts with their own selfship tags, i don't mind :)
HALLO EVERYNYAN i wanted to pop in really quickly to apologize for the slight inactivity,,, lately i have been Going Through It and my mental health has been pretty shit as a result BUT i promise that my whole little birthday special will still be written!! it just might take me a bit and i may publish some (self-indulgent) comfort first,,, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW I HAVEN'T LIKE DIED OR ANYTHING OKAY 🥹 TY EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT YOU ALL MEAN MORE TO ME THAN WORDS COULD EVER BEGIN TO DESCRIBE !! OUAHGHG !!!
consider: pre-relationship corbeau and a love interest who also has a scolipede. (i'm aware that this is by no means an original idea but let me yap alright hear me out now)
thinking about the two scolipedes getting closer and more affectionate with each other the more their trainers seem to bond with each other. it's cute and fun and all that at first, and corbeau certainly can't deny the fact that he's charmed by the ways in which the pokémon behave around the other.
that is, until the scolipedes end up mating with each other.
the pokémon got together before their trainers did.
corbeau does not know how to feel about this information.
tiny little update for all of you wonderful lovelies over on this blog,,,
have made my blog project hail mary-themed because i watched it for the first time yesterday and it was precisely the most beautifully hopecore thing i needed with everything going on in the world currently; i dont believe ill be changing my username (at least as of now) as 1) im still quite fond of it 2) all of you are familiar with it and i dont want any of yall to forget who i am,,
as of right now, my plans moving forward are to try to expand my pallette of characters i write about here; ill probably be less centric on one specific character in the future.
now, this next part: im not exactly sure about this so take these words with a grain of salt, but as of now i believe ill at least attempt to finish and post what drafts i have left for hq as he is still very dear to me as a character and id like to share my drafts so that at least it doesn't feel like wasted care or effort. once im done, i won't be making any more pressure-related works. as for all of you who followed me specifically for these works, i completely understand if you wish to unfollow, though, if you all will let me be selfish for a moment, i hope you all will stay.
i won't be delving too deep into my personal life here for, well, personal reasons, but i want to be honest about some stuff that's been going on with me personally for a moment. to be quite honest, i have been extremely mentally unwell since around mid-august of last year. there have been so, so many times where i have felt like it was pointless to keep going. but i stuck it out. why? because of you. all of you are what help me keep pushing forward. seeing all of your support, your love for my silly little writings, your care, all of it made me so, so happy, even if i was struggling. all of you matter so, so much to me, more than you could ever imagine. i dont quite know where ill be going with this blog from this point forward, but i so desperately hope that all of you will be with me through the journey.
to all of you, thanks for being so caring and patient with me, truly.
you are real. you are loved. you matter.
thanks for sticking around.
(also follow my main blog maybe idk @p4intkiddo i draw occasionally ok? ok...)
My thoughts as someone who has been fixated on Pressure for the last two years + even did official art.
For those of you like me who need to move on but are scared to because the media is close to you.
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Hi. Since this is going in the pressure tag, I might as well introduce myself. I’m Cotgar, the artist of the Gotchapon birthday artwork and the most recent Sebastian Solace reference sheet. I’ve been fixated on Pressure since October 2024, even committing personal things to it such as cosplay, merchandise, personal poster works, and two years of fan art.
My statements here assume you know the bare minimum of what happened: Zeal sexually assaulted the previous soundtrack musician, Ren.
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I want to approach this as a community member first and foremost.
My take? The game’s done. I personally wish to see no more support for it, as although the main focus of the document is Zeal, Ren mentions cruel involvement from the dev team and their blatant coverups of Zeals actions, painting Ren as “unstable”. I have promptly left the discords, which I encourage you to do as well.
As for what to do mentally? That’s the hard part as someone who’s been so invested in the lore, story, gameplay, and every other aspect of the game. I literally doodled gotchapon this morning all over my work papers. But as someone who doesn’t wish to support the game anymore, I really find it hard to just cut that off. I am not defending the devs in any way by saying that. I am coming purely from a hyperfixation standpoint where my blorbos are jingling around in my brain.
I would like to say: you will not be incriminated to still love the characters for who they were before this point. I will still forever adore the characters I’ve grown to love. But not the ones who wrote them. Anything with them beyond this point in time is considered Not the characters I’ve surrounded myself with. With losing your sense of humanity as a person and involving yourself in disgusting shit like that, I believe that you lose the right to keep people “doing what You want with their characters”. AKA. If I were to still draw Sebastian, let’s say, I could with no connection to the writers. I will not draw him with his wedding ring, for instance. He does not deserve to be “married” to a dev self insert. It’s not the self insert that’s the problem, mind you. It’s the dev.
I suggest now is the time to maybe review that list of shows you’ve been dying to watch. Check out those games that maybe, if you’re like me, you’ve been scared to play because of fear that it’ll take over the hyperfixation.
Move away.
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My connection and statement as *technically* an artist for the game:
I am horrified. One of the most prevalent things in Ren’s document was the use of cute animal imagery to lull Ren into a sense of security. (From my experience), Kat and Zerum do the same thing. It is unbeknownst to me if it was manipulative. That is not my point. My point is that it’s real language used in the dev team, and it does not surprise me it’s being used maliciously. I am more so scared because I began picking up this habit because people I thought were “cool” were using it as fun conversation. I am impressionable. I began picking it up. Ren’s document showed this to me and I suddenly felt my gut drop.
I will be brief. I have past experience of mental abuse and manipulation. Reading Ren’s document was familiar to me. Not to such a sexual extent, but in a manipulation extent. Seeing the bunny imagery sickened me, as it made me realize that trauma flares that I had worked years and years in therapy to get rid of were now validated: I don’t know whether to trust the devs that were smiling and being so polite to me.
I will not work with Pressure anymore. End of story.
———
You are allowed to still like the characters. The lore. The story. But supporting it is different, and I am ashamed that I have for this long. Am I sad that I probably can’t post any more drawings of the silly fish being sad? Oh fuck yeah. That dude fucking rocks.
But this is not about me. To fellow people who feel sad about it too, this is not about you.
This is about being a fucking human being
————
I await to see what the devs say to try and damage control.
hey so im posting this here because i know alot of people here don't use twitter but literally right fucking now a huge document cane out about zeal (the creator of pressure) having done some abhorrent shit to the ex-composer Ren/Nolongernull
I need you all to fucking read it, heed the warnings because its fucking graphic and read it. its fucking important
https://x.com/i/status/2041948615254437960
do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE make this about pressure and the characters. a real fucking person was hurt and that matters way more than a roblox game. Do not make jokes about this too or say some bullshit like "heh zeal had it coming" because thats just being a fucking DICK and if you still do do those things then fuck you and everything you stand for
sitting in hq's lap to keep him company while he works except he sits in the most inconvenient yet somehow comfortable poses to man that make it extremely hard to sit with him. he also has to change to a different position every 15 minutes or so otherwise he'll get irritated and feel uncomfortable again. do continue keeping him company though; he'll miss you if you get up and leave!!
hi hqlings sorry if i've been a little quiet recently, i didn't intend to be,,,
i've been very busy as of late + i still have a lot of stuff on my plate in the next few days, so i havent been able to do as much recently 😓😓
buuuut i do have some stuff in the works though!!! and if any of you have some ideas you'd like to share, i'd love to hear!!! yay!!! ill see you guys soon okay!!!! ahhh!!!!!!
authors note; me and oomf ( @p4intkiddo ) talked about griefer after they finished demo 4 and got his card... thank you to oomf for also beta reading for me!!!!
tags; hurt/comfort, mentions of insecurites, implied depression, post-venom griefer, nonsexual nudity, might be ooc but whatever
— griefer, who’s previous actions were rooted from insecurity and the feeling of being unworthy of being the next sword guardian, equating to recklessness and becoming irresponsible for his life due to this mindset.
— griefer, who’s habits are super unhealthy due to his mindset. just one look in his crib, you could already smell the rancid, rotting pile of witches brew and bloxy cola cans in the corner. the thought of no one caring makes it even harder for him to get himself to clean up.
— griefer, who coops up in his own crib, rather than staying with his dad after being cured. a perfect sanctuary to just rot and isolate himself, effectively just cutting himself off of socialization and just playing at his pc to cope.
— griefer, who is remorseful for hurting the people around him, especially you. after being cured by you, he wants to make it up to you by that invitation he made.
— griefer, who’s afraid of hurting you again. he’s afraid he might slip back into that cocky front he put up when causing chaos and hurt you unknowingly.
— griefer, who’s ashamed of himself after contemplating his current state. his inability to care for himself had left him in a state of low hygiene, which would make anyone disgusted by him.
— griefer, who’s confused on how you aren’t recoiling at his state. he’s sure that anyone would wrinkle their nose, covering their mouth to hold out on a barf; but you? you just look at him worriedly.
— griefer, who feels absolutely cherished when you help him through healing, especially helping him bathe; it might be the most intimate, non-sexual act he’s ever partaken in.
— griefer, who quietly sits in the bath as you gently rub your hands on his back, spreading the suds of soap on his skin. you’re gently caring for him after a relapse; it’s the most devoted, loving act he’s ever recieved.
— griefer, who almost cries like a baby as you comfort him by cradling him. he, who lost his mother at a young age, quite misses how his mom held him close. how you warmly hold him now is reminiscent of how his mother did, and it makes his heart full.
— griefer, who’s deeply grateful to you for staying with him; you’ve seen and cared for him at his most vulnerable state.
