JJ's Bizarre AdveyJ

beware the shenanigans of a horny pansexual ADHD eldritch abomination. [21 pronouns any EXCEPT he/him]

[korokio]

do you think she spent the entire night looking for them

[technovillain]

[tripp-pants-mew-mew]

time to break this out again

[jessiewithaj]

sex, but instead of both getting naked and holding your head in my lap and forgiving you for every thing you think you've done wrong, i just fuck you.

[pretty-pink-kiwi-pup]

[drchucktingle]

[aichu-dechu]

[heroineimages]

I'm still amused when I think of last summer when a coworker said, "Oh, bullshit, you are not," when I mentioned that I was 43.

[reverse-rainbows]

[nyxelestia]

#oh my god this IS TORAH#this is literally. like beat for beat. a story from the Talmud.

@aparrotandaqrow wait which one/what's the story??? 👀

[aparrotandaqrow]

It's the Oven of Akhnai!

Very briefly, a bunch of rabbis are arguing about how a kiln/oven should be kept pure. Rabbi Eliezer has his opinion, and all the other Sages disagree with him.

Eliezer tries every logical angle to convince them he's right. They won't budge. He declares that if he's right, a carob tree will uproot itself and move. The nearest carob tree uproots itself and moves 400 cubits. They still insist he's wrong, replying that we don't make laws based on trees. He declares that if he's right, the nearby stream will show it. The stream flows backwards. The Sages reply that we don't legislate based on streams. He declares that the very walls of the building will show it, and they begin to collapse inwards. Rabbi Yehoshua scolds the walls ("cut it out; this isn't your fight"), and in deference to his stature, the walls stop, though remain bent.

Finally, Rabbi Eliezer declares that if he's right, the Heavens themselves will confirm it. The sky parts, and the voice of God rings out: "Why do you disagree with Rabbi Eliezer? He is correct, as he always is in these matters."

Rabbi Yehoshua stands up, and replies. "The Torah is not in Heaven. We will decide the law based on majority rule, as it says in the Torah." (I.e. thanks for the Torah; we'll take it from here. The proper practice is whatever you can convince everyone it is.)

God smiles, and says to his angels, "my children have triumphed over me."

The Sages rule against Eliezer, burn anything he had declared pure in his oven, and ostracize him.

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[triangleguy]

my bad. turns off my perpetual motion dog catapulting machine

[slicedcheesegremlin]

sorry puppy girl we have to put the whip away 😔

[swagophile]

me in a heist movie scenario: [right about to execute the big plan] i hope you guys kbow if this plan goes south i'm killing myself

driver: what

me: alright team. we kbow our roles. lets get to it

demolitions expert: wait can we go back to that thing earlier

grifter: yeah what was that about

me: charlie, i want you to take point. you're the most important for the early phase so you gotta make sure to nail this. remember we only have a limited time to pull this off, so the sooner the better

safecracker: youre not really gonna kill yourself if we fuck this up right

me: [putting on my badass sunglasses as smooth bossa nova music plays] i'm definitely going to kill myself if we get this wrong

[holdthelined]

I made a lazy edit with a Kate Bush song because everytime I listen to this song the lyrics remind me of this scene way too much. enjoy

[pnglove]

let’s get cozy with mama

[weirdpngs]

Baby need smoko

[manic-draws]

Had to post this gem

[bookhobbit]

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

consider: vampire PhD students and postdocs, because in addition to all of the above:

been at the same campus for 57 years? seems legit

[cherryfleischer-deactivated2026]

[depsidase]

[gaybichon]

community notes are so brutal. tumblr needs to add that feature to escalate our pvp capabilities

[treecitysessions]

No the person who tweeted this made me laugh so hard the other day bc people were trying to correct them and they edited their shadow on picsart to keep the bit going