my guilt shall not absolve me, but neither shall my anger
it eats me from the inside out
teeth line my stomach as i swallow it down
apathy coats what once was empty
the now dulled blades are still made of steel
there is a performance to this lonely existence
and a guilt every loving insistence
the idea that you have been allowed to live
and the grief that you continue to feel
i never learnt how to let myself fester
but i got to the stage of rot eventually
took longer than my peers to decay but hereafter
i shall stay chosen by misery
did you think me weak when you felt my fragile bones?
we pull at the wrinkles in our tainted skin
unknown to me in this state of undress
held down but alas i smile gently
my wooden teeth aren't built to last
so i hide them only for those i deem worthy
always close to my pinpricked heart
when they first opened me and the cold coated my ribs
when the bloodied gears stopped turning
an intimate moment for a monster like me
for surgery to feel like yearning
the blood dripped down my hollowed chest
and i let myself lay bare
the constellations my only company
to this dulcet love affair
the clockwork drones on as my scars begin
a guilt buried underneath
the hope in the thrum of redemption
do you sense the sympathy?
do you absolve me of my sense of self
is this amalgamation whole?
a creature of his own creation
or a folktale to be told?
the stagelights dwindle, the strings undone
take what you want and leave the rest
my jaw will reattach itself
and i'll build myself anew
my bones to dust, your love will rust
and death comes for us all my dear
he watches me through my fear
he takes mercy on my forlorn mind
and if i lose i know that you will hold me as i fall
you'll tear me limb from limb and keep the pieces in your walls
the ecstacy in nothingness, the perfect concubine
i find myself in the unknown, and i'm running out of time
