Okay, okay, hear out me. Oliver is Bruce's biggest skeptic because: 1. they knew each other when were kids Oliver was literally the inspiration for the playboy persona < cuz he was an ass before becoming green arrow>
. 2. He finds the Batkids' trust in batman somehow bad. (Many times he calls Dick, "Batman Jr." + the batkids, "You're like Batman," as an insult.) So imagine his best friend marrying that guy?!
I can definitely picture Oliver, as he and Dinah finish dolling Hal up for his first "real" date with Bruce (that isn't just having quickies post-meeting/missions or passing out in cuddles).
He's just going, "Are you sure? Like... really sure? Bats is one thing, Bruce is another, but they're in one body, you get that, right? Is it money? Buddy, baby girl, don't even worry about it. You don't need him. Dinah and I will cover you."
Hal is endeared, mostly. He's giggling and saying "Yes, Oliver, I'm sure. As sure as I was since the last time you asked 3 minutes ago."
Dinah, at some point, shoves a beauty blender in Oliver's mouth and tells him to git. So he does <///3
But only really because Bruce has pulled up at Hal's house and is knocking politely as Hal's door. Oliver corners him like...
"Boy, I do not give a FUCK who you are. You hurt that man I will dig your piece of shit daddy up and feeding you his pelvis bone, do you understand me?"
"Oliver, we've been friends longer than you've known-"
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME???"
"...Yes, Oliver."
And then just.... it gets worse the longer their relation draws. Hal is sure that Oliver will outgrow it, but the first time he rants to Oliver about some petty relationship fight that he and Bruce got to, his instinctual response is.
"Break up with him."
"I- Oliver, we were fighting about date schedules."
"It's date schedules now, your children's basketball game later."
"I- Oliver, Bruce's kids are all grown up? Ollie!"
This continues for the rest of Batlantern's relationship. Bruce is aware of the trope. He giggles about it sometimes. He loves annoying Oliver.
Oliver quizzes Bruce sometimes to annoy him back. It fails because Bruce approaches his relationship with Hal the way he handles everything he deems life-essential to him: with obsessive methodology and deliberate insanity.
Also, Bruce definitely plays up the fact that he's banging Hal.
"Why are you taking him to France? He thinks Paris is overdone."
"Yes, but we're not going to Paris. We're staying at this nice sleepy French village where I rented a castle for us to live in. Now did you also want me to tell you about all the sex toys I'm bringing on our vacation, Oliver, or are you now secure that I am committed to Hal's happiness too?"
[eye twitching horribly] "Secure....... for now."
Oliver is just the embodiment of this brand of tiktok captions:
I just know he's gonna sob ugly at their wedding, not like he didn't promise to kill Bruce if Hal was being forced into this marriage.
Oliver checked Hal's belly because "I swear to god, if Bruce baby trapped you, I'm gonna chop off his balls."
"Ollie, I don't have a womb."
"Shh, be quiet. I think I hear something kicking."
"GET OFF MY WEDDING DRESS."
dededos
pixelskylines
discoholicmusic
kaledo-art
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
