salve!

servus sum neronis imperatoris! meow meow meow mea familia julios ca. XXV ann. servabant! et superbus ei sum >:)! (ooc: main is @melonmard)

[servus-romanus]

Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

The Emperor and his Advisor both have introduction posts so I suppose I need to make one as well.

G'day! I'm a proud slave of Nero, and have been serving him for him for XI odd years (not including post resurrection)! I am the... latest, now, I suppose, in a long of servants to the Gens Julia, going back XXV years (look, long is a mindset)

The story of the resurrection has been detailed by the emperor already of his blog, but I will add that I woke up in what I now know to be the sewer. It was my hearing that came back first, and my feeling soon after, which both told me I was lying near running water. It was dark. and cold. I don't want to dwell on it. I'm not going to mention the smell. I managed to get up to some sort of mezzanine, from which I heard my glorious messiah (🥹) rambling about the city gently conversing in a finally familiar language! David and he helped me out, and took me to their hotel room. I only really understood about the time warp thingies when Britney showed me the shower

My only, very humble, Emperor of Rome: @nero-caesar-augustus

Nero's mentor, adviser, praetor, and my now close friend Seneca: @nothing-is-ours-but-time

My dancing little baby, about whom I care just soso much, Argus: 🐕(baubau!)

(my main: @melonmard )

[most-sane-classicist]

He knows what's up

[servus-romanus]

But if the English translation is dactylic isn't it still good?

/ - u u / - u u / - u || u / - u u / - u u / - - /

[nero-caesar-augustus]

Οὔ

[servus-romanus]

i could be a great poet if only you ever encourage me

alas😞

[most-sane-classicist]

He knows what's up

[servus-romanus]

But if the English translation is dactylic isn't it still good?

/ - u u / - u u / - u || u / - u u / - u u / - - /

[david-aka-nerva]

Nero... just threw a soda at me. He then yelled I was tricked even after I explained what carbonation is! I am now sticky and wet and gross. Last time I ever let that man child have a soda.

[nero-caesar-augustus]

*poison.

Not "soda"

[servus-romanus]

don't worry imperator i will personally test every soda you drink for poison 😁

[servus-romanus]

what is a femboy? is it just a boy wearing a dress?

@nero-caesar-augustus still wears a toga is he a femboy

[nero-caesar-augustus]

I have discussed this at length. Togas are not dresses, and neither are palliums or tunics. I expect this from the modern folk, but et tu, servus?

[servus-romanus]

i thought "dress" just mean something loosely covering your body 🫪

[servus-romanus]

what is a femboy? is it just a boy wearing a dress?

@nero-caesar-augustus still wears a toga is he a femboy

[servus-romanus]

the hotel pool isn't big enough i might go swimming down the tiber

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Oh gods, wait, I'm coming with you.

[servus-romanus]

o relax seneca! you're not my parent

and besides im young and strong, thats what more than a lifetime of physical labour will do to you. considering your age yk... the currents can be pretty strong

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Thank you for your consideration, servus, I have no intention of enter the river myself. And I will not prohibit you from doing so either, only I wish to accompany you to see that you are not swept away or accidentally drowned.

[nero-caesar-augustus]

Please do refrain from drowning. That is how I lost my stepson and I would not like a repeat of the incident.

[servus-romanus]

Fine! I didn't want to swim anyway!

[servus-romanus]

the hotel pool isn't big enough i might go swimming down the tiber

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Oh gods, wait, I'm coming with you.

[servus-romanus]

o relax seneca! you're not my parent

and besides im young and strong, thats what more than a lifetime of physical labour will do to you. considering your age yk... the currents can be pretty strong

[servus-romanus]

the hotel pool isn't big enough i might go swimming down the tiber

[indecisiveavocado]

premise 1: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" -> such a thing as a road that doesn't lead to rome but instead to hell

premise 2: "all roads lead to rome" -> contradicts 1. maybe at the other end of the road to hell is rome? no, because of course you can't get out of hell -- it's a one way road.

conclusion: rome is hell

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Sounds like something @britney-in-italy would say.

[servus-romanus]

yeah the modern day one certainly is!

[britney-in-italy]

Not another one please for the love of god!!!

[indecisiveavocado]

premise 1: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" -> such a thing as a road that doesn't lead to rome but instead to hell

premise 2: "all roads lead to rome" -> contradicts 1. maybe at the other end of the road to hell is rome? no, because of course you can't get out of hell -- it's a one way road.

conclusion: rome is hell

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Sounds like something @britney-in-italy would say.

[servus-romanus]

yeah the modern day one certainly is!

[rattling-bag-of-bones]

My lord I need you to make up your mind, where the fuck are we going

[mandalhoerian-deactivated202510]

my lord i think we're lost

[depresseddepot]

my lord????

[little-slice-of-eden]

*wheezing* please....My Lord....I just caught up

[thatdootdevice]

My Lord COME BACK?!

[warlockofagnesi]

MY LORD?? there is no way I can follow you there!

...all right My Lord [SIGH] I guess I will just have to trust you

[evaceratops]

my lord i WARNED you-

[big-condiments-official]

My Lord what happened to my boat

[ospreyonthemoon]

My Lord, the map

THE MAP, MY LORD

YOU FORGOT THE MAP, MY LORD!

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

This is giving @servus-romanus and @nero-caesar-augustus to me.

[servus-romanus]

he disappears every time i turn my back! what am i supposed to do!

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

Manage to convince him that there is a new fashion popular in the east which dictates that one must wear robes beaded in such a way as to jinglewhen one moves. Yes, I actually did that once.

[servus-romanus]

well i guess ill try..

[rattling-bag-of-bones]

My lord I need you to make up your mind, where the fuck are we going

[mandalhoerian-deactivated202510]

my lord i think we're lost

[depresseddepot]

my lord????

[little-slice-of-eden]

*wheezing* please....My Lord....I just caught up

[thatdootdevice]

My Lord COME BACK?!

[warlockofagnesi]

MY LORD?? there is no way I can follow you there!

...all right My Lord [SIGH] I guess I will just have to trust you

[evaceratops]

my lord i WARNED you-

[big-condiments-official]

My Lord what happened to my boat

[ospreyonthemoon]

My Lord, the map

THE MAP, MY LORD

YOU FORGOT THE MAP, MY LORD!

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

This is giving @servus-romanus and @nero-caesar-augustus to me.

[servus-romanus]

he disappears every time i turn my back! what am i supposed to do!

[nero-caesar-augustus]

If Caligula really did appoint the horse as a way to make fun of the senate then I can appreciate it I suppose. I too enjoy making fun of the senate.

[servus-romanus]

fill me in a little papi

[servus-romanus]

who would win in a fight

@nothing-is-ours-but-time

or

@david-aka-nerva

[britney-in-italy]

Seneca. Full stop

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

I thank you for your vote of confidence, Britney. I think David has the advantage of me physically as he is some two millenia younger. However I do not think his exposure to physical fighting has been as extensive as my own, either as viewer or participant.

That is something that I find truly lacking in this modern education, the omittence of wrestling and other such fighting sports. The young men of this age do not know the first thing about how to use their bodies to defend themselves, unless they take their own initiative in learning.

Keeping this in mind, I think I have the advantage over all, despite my age.

[david-aka-nerva]

I think I am a good ish fighter. I don't really fight with others to really know nor do I want to engage in a physical fight. In a fist fight I might not last long potentially but give me a gun and I'll be fine.

My American spirit will fuel me enough to win a fight... probably.

[servus-romanus]

what a gun 😃

[britney-in-italy]

This ^

[servus-romanus]

awww smug felicula ☺️

quid tenes infantula 🥺🫠

[servus-romanus]

who would win in a fight

@nothing-is-ours-but-time

or

@david-aka-nerva

[britney-in-italy]

Seneca. Full stop

[nothing-is-ours-but-time]

I thank you for your vote of confidence, Britney. I think David has the advantage of me physically as he is some two millenia younger. However I do not think his exposure to physical fighting has been as extensive as my own, either as viewer or participant.

That is something that I find truly lacking in this modern education, the omittence of wrestling and other such fighting sports. The young men of this age do not know the first thing about how to use their bodies to defend themselves, unless they take their own initiative in learning.

Keeping this in mind, I think I have the advantage over all, despite my age.

[david-aka-nerva]

I think I am a good ish fighter. I don't really fight with others to really know nor do I want to engage in a physical fight. In a fist fight I might not last long potentially but give me a gun and I'll be fine.

My American spirit will fuel me enough to win a fight... probably.

[servus-romanus]

what a gun 😃

[servus-romanus]

who would win in a fight

@nothing-is-ours-but-time

or

@david-aka-nerva