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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

tannertan36
trying on a metaphor

roma★

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

★
todays bird
Jules of Nature

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ellievsbear
Sade Olutola

izzy's playlists!
wallacepolsom
Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever
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@severed-hearts
Indie Multimuse RP Account
Both OCs and Canon Muses Selective Mature Themes Present
Blog || Rules || Muses || Ask || Art Commissions
I can think of no greater torture on this earth than having a creative idea I really like and having to refrain from talking about it because it's still in progress and/or I can't properly express it in a medium I like yet.
Maybe I am a sadistic freak but I really do just want to write something that brings an audience as much discomfort and disgust as it does to me. I don't mean something for shock, but something that provokes thought. I really do just thrive on that shit.
If I can do that then I'll feel accomplished as a writer.
Nothing like some intense psychological horror to inspire me to write some because I love that shit. I still think of that one idea I had. Which one? Wouldn't you like to know?
Never apologize for your hyperfixations/interests.
In exchange for the certainty that you're getting your threads back, you must listen to me yap during busy school times. I feel confident enough in my ability to deliver that I can ramble away.
the transgenderfication beam hit the second tower ft. ooccoo top surgery
(part 2/ redraw of this)
Yes, in a sense, Calix was his brother. Maybe not by blood, but in ideal and image. No one would be privy to the sight of the Prince in such high spirits and talking so loosely. A coward would flinch at his commands and an idiot would challenge him, but Calix? He listened.
More than meat and emotions, there was a brain behind those eyes and the wisdom of a true warrior.
Mars fit right into the crowd, the way he moved through it- it was far from graceful, but not as aggressive as he would be elsewhere. It could've just been that having Calix behind him put him in a better mood, but he only grinned as a drunkard backs into the prince. A harsh shove towards his buddies, and the two were sent on their way with a laugh from the crowd.
"A drink isn't enough- any of these hovels could serve us hogwash just for the buzz, Heavens know it's not for tasting! No, we need to properly celebrate a good hunt, a better fight and our absolute triumph! Something more, something satisfying, something fun."
He enunciates that last word dangerously when his destination finally comes into view. Shoving through the crowd like a bulldozer, he parts the way forward to an inconspicuous set of stairs in between two rundown buildings, wasting no time making his way down those steps. Only ever pausing to look behind him and ensure that the other was there.
"I hope you've prepared yourself for a proper night of pleasure, Calix. Don't you dare pussy out on me!"
Mars is brazenly making his way through the crowd, and Calix simply follows at the same pace. He keeps his head low, not wanting to draw the irate looks of the men or women around him for Mars' actions.
Thankfully everyone seems too drunk to care. Or, they're moving fast enough that these drunkards fail to catch up. Either way, Calix will be glad to reach their destination without further conflict.
A restful night is something that Calix had envisioned, but he should have known better with Mars' boundless energy. "Fun?" Calix sighs, knowing full well that Mars has something up his sleeve. Either another hunt, or he's going to get them into something stupid. No rest for the righteous, Caelid once said.
"I'm here, aren't I? You're predictable in your tastes, and I wouldn't still be here if I didn't want to be." It's better than something like surrounding themselves with women like other adventurers might. Calix isn't sure if he's ready for that type of pleasure.
"Well? I'm eager to know. What kind of trouble are we getting into tonight?"
The doll works diligently, they do notice Daiyu's worries as she sits down. Pen in hand there seems to be a lot of conflict in her mind, even before she's even tasted anything.
They're making both regardless, but as water boils and a tea bag is placed in two cups, and two others are set out beside the coffee pot, the doll returns with chocolate.
Handed over, she looks at the paper and though she doesn't smile there's a cute little huff, a flare of nostrils as if maybe she did smile or sigh.
The Ida doll moves to grab a paper too and writes for a few moments.
"The Mirror...this unit doesn't know but..." Gently she shows Daiyu her paper. Her page is has four columns unlike Daiyu's. The middle two are like and dislike, the other two aren't listed yet and there's a horizontal line that isn't titled either.
Slowly she writes Coffee and Tea in the likes line. "This unit likes both but.." She leaves the tea and coffee, then writes tea in the column to the left of it and fills in the title finally, 'Likes a lot', writing Tea but adding a plus sign with 'sugar'.
"This unit likes sugar a lot...coffee does not seem to be better with sugar. But.." She then writes Coffee + chilled in the 'likes a lot', "Iced coffee... very nice."
The doll adds more, in the original coffee, she adds a plus with 'creamer/milk' but then adds Coffee in the dislike tab with nothing. Finally she adds 'Dark Roast Coffee' into the Dislikes a lot, and adds something like 'pineapple juice' into the space below the columns, and adds that title 'haven't tried'.
"This unit.. knows this is confusing time for you... what Miss Daiyu... is trying to figure all this out already. But your paper..." The doll folds her page and lets Daiyu focus on her smaller simpler page.
"You start...here. You try... you decide. And if you don't know, you add this part first." She adds the 'haven't tried' part but instead of it being written that way, she writes it as 'I want to try it again'.
"This unit's paper... changed a lot, many many eraser marks. Every time this unit experienced something new... this unit's mind was changed. This is... scary for Miss Daiyu. It was for the Mirror too... but even she started here... a want to try it all again."
The doll sits back then hops up to walk and get the coffee and tea, "The Mirror... isn't honest.. she says she likes bitter things, but this unit... feels she is happiest when the flavors are exotic and sweet... The Mirror would have coffee with caramel creamer...this unit knows it.."
Daiyu can't help but look at the doll's hands as she writes. The way they articulate so smoothly, like an actual person's is astounding. Her hand reaches out a little, like she wants to touch and feel the joints for herself. She fights off the thought, and lets the doll finish.
"You have things you like too, then?" It felt like a silly question to ask someone, but is this doll a person? How lifelike did this Ida make her? Daiyu is curious to know more, but the doll has left her to retrieve the beverages.
In the meantime, Daiyu looks down at her paper. After thinking for a moment, she takes the pen and writes something down.
"Ah, I was just writing down what you had given me earlier. The rice balls. It feels a little silly to say I liked them. I don't think I had a proper chance with how starving I was." Should she move it to the 'I want to try it again' category?
"Your creator sounds a little childish. Do you all take after her, then?" Daiyu chuckles to herself, teasing. Her attention is then directed towards the beverages, more things to try. The doll had stated she liked these with sugar, but for the purpose of the exercise, Daiyu decides to try them without to start. First, the tea.
The aroma hits her first, then the taste. "Mmmm... I think... I like this." She has to take a few more tastes, then writes it down in the 'like' category. Next, the coffee, which does not go down so well.
"Urgh, perhaps your creator has a point after all." She laughs, feeling a bit bashful over her earlier comment. She takes some of the creamer and sugar to try and change the taste, but stops when she looks up at the doll.
"Ah, you've splashed some creamer on your face." Daiyu takes a napkin and gently wipes the girl's face clean of the creamer, then, she has a thought. Daiyu places the napkin aside and feels the girl's face with her hand. She gasps at just how lifelike she feels.
"Are you sure... you're not a real person?"
I think this daily system of [drafts > commissions > drafts] might actually work.
Maybe I'll watch that Aliens show while I work on commissions later tonight.
People answering the space virus are correct but also, getting visited by the uncanny valley grey humanoids with no noses and are as built as corpses. No, fuck no. My soul will leave my body.
Which is scarier for you?
Beast-like alien with limited intelligence but excellent hunting skills.
Humanoid alien that devalues human life to harvest, experiment, or enslave.
Space virus that takes over host and eventually the human population.
Digits pass from Ellen's lips, around her to leave them close, rolling down her body as Jeanne elicits whatever fun reactions she can from the girl before her. How much her mood shifts, how she goes from those wide eyes, that feeling of biting the heads off everyone here.
To something...not docile, heavens no. Like a predator waiting for the human with the gun to look away, like it's skulking in the dark or acting merely curious when in truth it wishes to rend flesh and flee.
"Hmm?" Her red eyes barely direct themselves away from Ellen, eyes on her at all times, always staring so deeply into her soul, or perhaps the two souls that inhabit one. The host and the parasite, meshed together so perfectly yet still a mix of screaming pieces trying to become one.
She wonders how perfectly can one become the other, "Oh but I do. When I was eons younger, when I was but a hopeful mage traveling to the far side of my world. Betrayed, back stabbed... the fears of someone like myself, even before I became as I am.."
"The softest push into a crystal, the shove of wills that left me under the eyes of the unspeakable. A puppet for eternity, plucked from what was warmth into a cold cage. Not just my body, but my every waking moment not my own.."
"I'm so very much aware.." Her lips hover so close again, that impending suffocating feeling of energy. Making the air thick like water, an exertion of pressure that any living creature can feel.
"You simply need to become strong enough never to allow it to happen..."
The witch pulls Ellen into that kiss, she stands and pushes Ellen's body against her own. Her leg between theirs, riding up her thighs as the other arm holds her close. It's an invasive kiss, a forced mixing of tongues that lasts long enough to make the host struggle to breathe.
Then...She pulls away, her head turns and she guides Ellen to watch.
"Play~ Just the nearest half of the bar..." The other patrons enjoying themselves won't be affected, but those closest. A few tables, some drunks wandering... a dozen of them all at once feel a pain in their bodies.
Emerging from them are ghostly figures, translucent things with the skin texture that resembles space. They resemble featureless forms of the witch, only their upper bodies emerge from these people. Attached, they turn and plunge their hands into their hosts.
They start to pull out a ghost like clear image of their chosen bodies, the clear form resembles the victim's, and they struggle against it. Everyone can see it now, their souls are being ripped out of their bodies by these images of a space like being.
They struggle, those too weak cannot hope to rend their own souls free. Dragged out of their bodies, they collapse dead on the ground as mass panic sets in.
The souls float towards Jeanne who, cheek to cheek, allows Ellen to witness as she clumps them all up into a ball. A small orb, condensed and filled with screams and crying. And right there, Jeanne simply...tosses it into her own mouth. A sensual swallow of that large orb as she consumes their souls, all they ever were and could be.
"Ah~" A sultry moan as she strokes Ellen's cheek.
The doors of the establishment seem locked, all of them shut by some force. Sound isn't traveling out, there are no signals to send. That pressure from before was condensing a layer around this building to make it a private fun house just for them. Just for this moment...
There are 8 other patrons left inside, panicking, trying to offer help to dead bodies as cold as ice already. Others are clawing at the door, yet nothing budges.
"Did you like it?.. Want to see something even more thrilling...or do you want to show off a little before I... reward your honest from before?"
Ellen keeps her hands leveled between her legs on her own seat. Were she not then the slightest of tremors would be noticeable from across the bar. She can feel her host, terrified for her life.
Is this what it feels like to die? Ellen thought she had long forgotten this feeling during isolation. Yet here she is, staring into the eyes of something that feels as cold and dark as eternity, and every touch on her body feels like ice.
She can feel her eyes slightly tear up. Despite being taken over by another, her host doesn't know the fear of nothingness like Ellen does, neither does she know apathy towards it.
Yes, that's it, isn't it? It's just like back in the lab. She's felt this fear before, the fear of being absorbed into the void and dying without knowing the light. A crushing feeling of awareness that never left her, she just got used to it.
It's that thought that puts Ellen's mind slightly at ease when Jeanne pulls her in for an invasive kiss. At first Ellen retaliates, trying to pull away to no avail. Jeanne with her cold touch reaches around and cradles her close with as much comfort as a bear trap.
To Ellen, it feels like she's being swallowed, or rather... infected. This is what it feels like, isn't it? In her host's memories, her last moments of true consciousness were suffocating much like this as Ellen was entering every orifice on her face.
Jeanne pulls away and she'd see Ellen's face flush red with shrunken pupils. A string of saliva connects their tongues, and Ellen's is split in two, with a blue glow encompassing the cut surface of each half.
She tries to catch her breath to say something, but Jeanne simply pulls her gaze away towards the rest of the bar.
There, she sees it. An act so horrible that it could only be recreated in nightmares. Ellen watches with relaxed eyes as the distorted figures of what she assumes to be the patron's souls are ripped out of their bodies.
Everyone in the bar reacts how they should, shock, fear, and screams. It's like everyone is frozen in place, save for their heads, which all turn towards Jeanne as they watch her form their life force into a ball so effortlessly. It doesn't seem real, but everyone's watched them collapse before their eyes.
Members of the crowd start for the door to leave while Jeanne is seemingly distracted. The bar around them erupts with rage, sorrow, and fear. Jeanne runs her finger down Ellen's cheek as if she were simply teasing with an innocent act. It's when she does that Ellen's lips curl into a crooked smile, almost looking forced.
Ellen rests her arm on the counter and lurches her head downward. It's not clear what she's doing at first. She's making movements as if she's trying not to gag, but then it becomes clearer, she's laughing. Ellen has broken into a manic and severe laughter as emotions rush through her body. Never has she felt such an extreme in her life, not since that fo-
BANG!
The bartender, who had been trying to contact law enforcement, falls unceremoniously. The patrons scream and try busting down the door. Ellen's head is tilted to the side with her eyes lazily turned away from Jeanne. In Ellen's hand is a pistol, and she's stopped laughing.
"Show off? What is there to show off? You've brought a lot of attention towards us, towards me." Ellen straightens her posture and gives Jeanne a sinister grin. "We have some cleaning up to do."
One of the patrons charges towards the two women with a plasma lance, ready to swing and take both of their heads off. Ellen's eyes shift towards her. The pistol falls from her hand and it splits, becoming a mass of flesh and luminous blue. The tentacles rip the weapon free and wrap around her wrists to crush them. The woman's scream encompasses the whole bar.
"There goes my disguise." The woman is lifted by her wrists towards Jeanne, and Ellen asks, "What do you want to do with this one?"
I have like 90% of the threads done. Was hoping to have them all done by tonight, but that’s okay.
Want so badly to reply to Jeanne too but gotta get to bed.
Adalia has had a lot of time to think of what she'll say to her sire. "I am so sorry to have worried you, Lord von Damme, but you will be pleased to know I have since improved in our time apart!" He'd be furious, worried, fretting over her like a mother hawk over its fledgling, but ultimately happy at her well-being. She knows it, it's not that different to her previous occasions getting lost.
Claws shred across her back with boundless fury for the hunter. She focused so hard on Andreana's wellbeing, the assault came as a surprise. She could still give a fight, of course, she wasn't about to just let this animal maul her and get away with it- but her confidence has been shaken.
This was shameful. Had it all really just been inflated ego? Praise and self-worth raised because she was raised and trained by the most famous hunter of her time? Or did she let her training degrade and fall to the wayside? Was there anything for her to show her master? Did she stand a chance against that swordswoman?
Her focus is askew. Her emotions in disarray. Anger, fear, she debated if she was worth the bullet her partner had lined up. Blades clash and deflect swinging talons, only to be cut in another place she hadn't guarded for. For a moment, it looked like Adalia was giving up- the huntress lacking what she needed to finish it. The only silver lining, that Andreana was safe instead. But her holdout was enough.
She could feel the lapse in the assault, and gave one last moment of fury to overwhelm and force the male back, just a little bit more, enough to-
-bring the bastard down, in a single round. The gunshot echoes off the concrete walls around her, a wave of sound that washes over her, bringing relief. Relief, and overwhelming shame.
How pathetic of her.
Slip away down the alley, move your legs step by step, just don't let her catch up. She can feel her stomach lurch the moment that thought crosses her mind. She's been in this situation before, where her injuries were so severe and her body is urging her desperately...
She needed distance. If her partner found her like this, it could jeopardize her. That's all that crossed her mind now, on her last leg of an adrenaline rush, knowing that the trembling in her legs was a perilous warning that she couldn't keep going. If Andreana found her, got close to her... that would be it.
As much as she wouldn't want to. As much as she'd desperately be against it. She knows her body would be so desperate, it wouldn't matter.
She'd break the trust they've built up from knowing each other, even if for a handful of months- and that's the best case scenario. God knows what might happen to her, let alone her partner- the church would undoubtedly punish her...
And unfortunately, its too late. Her weakened state leaves her an easy find for the other huntress. She tries to think of anything that could change the girl's mind, to get her to run... but Andreana was dedicated to her as any true friends would be.
"N... n-no... noooo...! G-God above, I'm sorry... I failed... I failed you... Andreana... when you n-needed me... to stay strong... I crumbled... I let them overwhelm me... p-please A... Andre.... you must.... get back..." "Get back right now...!"
Just don't look at her, she thought. Just don't breathe in her scent. Just don't listen to her breathing, the faint beat of her heart... the blood-
It's barely a few moments into entering new shelter before Adalia reacts suddenly and aggressively: despite her injuries and fading strength, the huntress shoves her partner away hard. She'll beg for forgiveness later, if it keeps Andreana safe.
Her body thuds against the floor, barely keeping herself up by her hands, thankfully close enough to the wall to lean back against it. She's breathing harder, clenching her teeth, fighting her demons- demons that the other huntress wouldn't even know about.
Even if it meant giving away her secret, even if it meant that Andreana might have to try and kill her... she couldn't risk hurting her like that. Because miss Whitedrift was hungry, hungrier than she'd been in a while, her body desperate for blood to start mending itself...
So hungry... So hungry. SO HUNGRY.
"Stay... back...! Keep... keep away from... m-me...!! If you g-get too... close... I d-don't... I don't... wanna... hurt... you... please keep... back..."
Andreana stops for a moment to listen and hears sirens in the distance slowly growing in volume. "Damn it!" Her lungs are tired but Andreana hoists Adalia as much as she is able to carry her across dark alleyways, frantically looking for somewhere she and Adalia can lay low and call for assistance.
Her partner sounds terrible. She's gasping for air just as much as Andreana is. Adrenaline rushes through Andreana as the two get lost in these unfamiliar streets. Eventually, she stops in front of a very shitty looking building.
The windows are broken, the paint is peeling, and the door is rusted. It doesn't look like anyone is occupying it. If she's wrong, then she'll worry about that later. With Adalia still in hand, Andreana kicks the door in and hustles inside.
She quickly grasps at her flashlight to investigate her surroundings. There's debris and scum all over the floor. It's not a very welcoming place, and not ideal for keeping someone injured. Quickly, Andreana identifies a cleaner spot that she can take Adalia to rest, but before they get there, Andreana is shoved away with incredible strength.
The force of the shove catches Andreana off guard and causes her to slide against the floor a bit. The flashlight is knocked free from her grip. "What are you doing?!" Andreana curses in Spanish in response to the outburst. The act made her a little angry, but she still looks frantically for Adalia's white hair in the darkness.
"Adalia!" She shouts while tossing her rifle case. Her partner is in a sorry state on the floor, and Andreana doesn't hesitate to rush towards her on all fours.
"Hey, come on! I'm going to get you out of here. You have to take off your jacket, please!" Andreana takes off and tosses her own to prevent blood stains. She then follows with her t-shirt, leaving her in only her sports bra, more skin exposure.
Andreana quickly fights against Adalia to get her jacket off. "Stop being difficult! You're gonna bleed out!" As soon as the jacket is mostly off of her back, Andreana wads up her shirt and grabs her partner to hold her close.
"I know you won't like this but-" She firmly hugs Adalia and holds the t-shirt against her back. It's a shitty shirt, Adalia's life is worth way more. Both of them can feel their chests as they try to catch their breaths. It'll be something for them to be embarrassed about later, she really hopes.
For a moment it seems like her partner's calmed down. The silence makes Andreana nervous, and so she pulls back to look at her partner's face, and her own runs cold.