bite, teeth, nose bleed

just here for locked tomblr / 30s / europe / jarpedon truther

[lambocalypse]

she frew up

[onarete]

convinced that John held funerals for Mercy and Augustine. he gave one to Cytherea! What I mean to say is— Ianthe, Kiriona, John, and the no good terrible very bad 23-minute long joint funeral

[floweroflaurelin]

Huevember day 6: Emperor John Gaius

—

The only splash of colour was an enormous portrait of the Emperor as Kindly Master, with an expression of beatific peace.

As seen hanging on the wall of the Eight House’s quarters in Canaan House ✨⚔️💀⚔️✨

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

hey what if i thought too hard about mercymorn's acid jail speech and got sad.

i hate you all. i have hated you for a millenia. except you, my lord. i merely want to put you in a jail, and fill up the jail with acid. she's hurt and she's angry and she's not totally honest about the reasons why, because she's not stupid, but. she merely wants to put him in a jail. she wants to hurt him, she wants to punish him, she wants him to suffer and she wants him to learn from it. she wants him to understand her rage and pain she wants him to comprehend the harm he's done. and then she wants him to apologize, to forgive her, to be a better person. she wants to punish him once for a very very long time and then she wants to be able to move on with a better kinder john who knows that he was wrong. and i would say, "that is why i did it, lord. i did it for you, and for your empire." i often think about this. she spends time actively fantasizing about john learning from his fucking mistakes and commiting to being a better person. she fantasizes about melting him a few thousand times first, because she's so fucking angry and she needs him to hurt, but she doesn't want to kill him. she never really wanted to kill him. all she wanted. all she wanted was for him to give her a reason to forgive him. she makes me insane.

[mayasaura]

Protesilaus' body went into the incinerator headless. That fragment of a tooth Ianthe gifted to Palamedes is all that remains of the remains of Dulcinea. This is the closest they ever come to touching. If anyone needs me, I'll be at the bottom of the nearest well.

[tiffanyachings]

she's the funniest person alive actually

[tchaikovsgay]

had a locked tomb nightmare the other night that atn was dropped and it ended up being the entirety of gtn from babs perspective and i still havent recovered

[tchaikovsgay]

the worst part is that the narration sounded exactly like my immortal

[theriverbeyond]

Hi my name Naberius Tern and I have short hair done up in pompadour and I'm from the Third House (that's how I got my name). I have blue and brown eyes like river stones and I'm the cavalier primary to two necromancers, Coronabeth and Ianthe Tridentarius (AN: if u don't know who they are get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Mattias Nonius but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a cavalier (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly purple. I love Abercrombie and Finch and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a purple dueling jacket with matching knickers and also had my rapier and offhand, a trident knife dagger. I had just arrived at Canaan House. A lot of dykes stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

[dipperthedestructor]

im the prettiest canary in this mine

[dipperthedestructor]

what the fuck is that smell

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[naomistares]

the unwanted guest spoilers

tamsyn muir when i catch u. tamsyn muir when i catch u tamsyn when i

(yes i died for a while but i came back exactly the same)

[tio-trile]

So that unwanted guest huh

[ktdrhr-deactivated20220421]

stunt girl

[puffywiz]

"It’s finished, it’s done. You can’t take loved away.”

- Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

💝 Thank you for 1k. Special thanks to my lovely friend @sessjudoodles for helping sketch the line work for the Albertaceretops :)

[thedeliaishere]

YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.

COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.

DAMAGED MORALE - 1

Transgender? What's that?

This doesn't have any bearing on the investigation.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."

Gender is rather bourgeois, anyway.

Why would any proud Revacholian discard their masculinity?

Changing your gender? That sounds like quite the hustle. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this woman.

That's cool. I have no opinion on this one way or another.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!

EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!

"Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'll leave you alone forever now."

"I haven't been a good representative of the RCM. We're here to help the people of Martinaise, no matter their identity. I'm sorry to have let you down."

[Drama - Legendary 14] Try and come up with an elaborate, heartfelt apology in the style of the turn of the century thespians.

HIGH 83% +1 Found testosterone ampoule on nightstand. +1 Homo-Sexual Underground. +1 Read about the turn of the century thespians. -1 Recovered your gun. -1 Masculinity challenged. This is a Red Check. It cannot be retried.

⚀⚀

CHECK FAILURE

YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.

DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"

ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.

COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?

VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.

You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[taraljc]

The Supervillain Wrangler definitely needs to be on this list.

[moonssnail]

Mithraeum host club!!

I was walking home from work and thinking to myself… host club and Gideon the ninth. And here we are, many weeks later. Hope there’s a target audience out there to reach with this lolllll

[frontlinebicepsoftheninth]

idk if people have said this modern au harrowhark's perfect job would be a member of the atomic priesthood designed to keep awareness of radiation alive for thousands of years. a atheistic religious institution designed to create a cultural sense of that 'this is not a place of honor' message, having a ritualized study of nuclear physics, protecting the earth by protecting Horrors buried beneath us that we must under no circumstances unearth.

holy shit yes!!!! the rituals and prayers of the ninth are so similar to the long term nuclear waste messages and knowing how popular that phenomenon is on tumblr i would not be surprised if tamsyn drew inspiration from that intentionally. also because of all the information we get in ntn about "alecto's" "death" like..... the ninth lowkey is the atomic priesthood. wow thank you for bringing this up