Sexy and Symptomatic

You can be ill, have horrible symptoms that impact your life massively but you’re STILL sexy 💅🖤 Insta - zariaintl

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I just wanted to say that being chronically ill is HARD. Really really hard. Certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to experience. One thing that I’ve learnt is that not everyone will believe you. Not everyone will believe that it’s as bad as you say it is. Not everybody will believe the full extent of your reality. People will think you’re fine just because you look fine. People will have their own opinions. People will judge you & your situation. People will think a billion different silly, half baked ideas/opinions as to what could have caused your illness. People will think you’ve brought it on yourself and that it’s completely your fault. People will think you’re just lazy. People think if you’re not better yet then you’re clearly not trying hard enough. Sometimes people will actually think you chose to be like this. People will judge you no matter what you do/don’t do. There are an infinite amount of misconceptions that come with being ill long term. And weirdly, the large majority of the time, the people who are judging you, talking about you & your situation with everybody but you & expressing their unwanted opinions will never, ever, ever have experienced what you do on a daily basis. They usually don’t have the faintest clue what it’s actually like. So my advice is to just ignore all of those people. You know your own body. You know when there’s something wrong. You know how you feel compared to when you felt well. You’re the one whose living it. It’s your body, nobody else’s. You’re trying your best. Even if you just about survive the day, you’re still trying your absolute best. You didn’t bring this on yourself. It isn’t your fault. You’re not lazy. You’re fabulous, you’re a lot stronger than you think, you’re a warrior, you’re a fighter. And if nobody else believes you then I do. Lots of love 🖤 xxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I’ve had to leave uni because I’m too unwell :( i feel sad about it even though I knew that ultimately this is the best thing for me to do right now. Like I know that I’m unwell and that I need help. But it’s really highlighted to me how unwell I actually am. I joke about it a lot as a coping mechanism and I try to laugh about it all the time but it just highlights that I am actually in fact very poorly. I’m only 22, I’m still undiagnosed & I have no clue whatsoever when things are going to improve. I just feel so stuck. I’m supposed to be in my prime, going out, enjoying myself but no. Instead, I’m poorly with a very long list of undiagnosed symptoms. I’m so tired of it all.

Just needed to have a rant, lots of love xxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

It’s the not knowing when it’ll stop. The unpredictability. Wondering “will this ever get any better?” It’s the people close to you just accepting that this is how you are now. It’s the 24/7 nature of it all. It’s the not having a choice. It’s the not having a break from it. It’s the people around you thinking you chose this. As if you enjoy it. As if you actually chose this life. Nobody would ever choose this. It’s the having to play symptoms down. It’s having to pretend it isn’t as bad as what it is. It’s having people judge you, even the people closest to you. It’s having to live with symptoms that most people wouldn’t know how to even begin to cope with. It’s a lack of self confidence and self purpose. It’s staying hopeful when it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to be hopeful for. It’s a lot of things.

You might not feel it, but you’re one of the strongest people EVER. You put up an invisible fight daily. You do all that you can. You often survive second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour. You get through the day. You do your best no matter what obstacles are in your way. And it’s important to remember that even on the really bad days that you’re amazing. You’re strong. You’re tough. You’re fabulous. Lots of love xxxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

As a chronically ill girl, I feel like tapping into my dark feminine energy has been a huge help. Obvs not in terms of fixing actual symptoms, that would be impossible. But in terms of the mental impact being ill has on a person.

This time last year, I couldn’t go a single day without crying, being sad 24/7, being extremely nasty to myself by telling myself I was a failure, I was weak, my confidence had literally disappeared & all sorts else just through being ill (which isn’t even my fault). I was worried about what people close to me thought about me and my situation, but I’ve changed now.

Now I tell myself I am exceptionally strong, I am a force to be reckoned with, I am unstoppable, I am confident, I am fabulous, I am loved, I am desirable & I am 💅THAT💅 bitch.

I am all about confidence & helping people build it back up 🖤.

You need to realise that through the unpredictable storm of being chronically ill, you develop a HUGE amount of strength. A strength that you should be unbelievably proud of. You are a fighter & you are a warrior.

Lots of love xxxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I feel like the mental impact of being chronically ill is not talked about as near enough as it should be. Our lives are turned completely upside down by something beyond our own control. We constantly wonder “is this it?” “Will it ever get better?” “Is it going to get worse?” On the bad days, we survive from moment to moment. We wonder whether we’ll actually get through the day. We grieve for our old lives & who we used to be. We feel like a completely different person. Our confidence is impacted. We can often feel worthless & like we’ve failed. We feel like giving up. Every single day is a massive struggle.

But because this is our life & this is our normal, or new normal, we’re expected to just “get on with it.”

So based on all of that, I just wanted to say that you are NOT worthless. You are not a failure. You are extremely strong. You’re actually stronger than most. Most people wouldn’t be able to deal with all that you do on a daily basis. You wake up every single day & put up a fight. An endless fight. An unpredictable fight. A never ending fight. But you still do it. You’re amazing, you’re beyond strong & you should be very proud of yourself xxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

Why is it that people are allowed to complain about minor things and that is seen as completely fine. But on the rare occasion I complain about my symptoms & being ill, I get told I’m a negative person, need to change my mindset and be more positive.

Like I am allowed to feel a bit pissed off that my body doesn’t work properly, I’m not enjoying it, it isn’t fun & I’m more than welcome to express my emotions & how I feel. Nobody can tell me otherwise.

Lots of love xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

This has just occurred to me. The amount of silent decisions we have to make when chronically ill is crazy.

“I want to eat that but will it make me feel worse?” “If I do this task, will I be overdoing it?” The list of questions we ask ourselves and decisions we make every single day is endless.

It’s so hard because obviously we don’t want our lives taken over by illness and never ending symptoms, but we must also listen to our bodies & try to do what’s best.

It can sometimes be really hard & difficult to adapt to this way of life of constantly questioning “am i doing the right thing?” but i promise you’re not alone xxxxxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I’ve learnt it’s quite common for people to say “she’s always talking about her illness/symptoms”, “he’s always talking about his illness/symptoms”, “she’s always talking about how she feels”, “he’s always talking about how he feels”, etc.

That is simply because when you’re ill, it takes over your entire life. You experience symptoms daily. Symptoms that most ‘normal’ people would go to hospital with. But we can’t do that every time we feel bad, because this is our life. It is extremely difficult to not talk about something when it impacts every single aspect of your life.

So why is it when people talk about their illnesses & the reality of their symptoms, they’re perceived as being “negative” people or complaining?

[sexyandsymptomatic]

Being chronically ill means lying and saying “I’m fine” when people ask how you are, because if you’re honest about how you actually feel & your symptoms, it makes people uncomfortable.

You end up comforting them, when you’re probably the one who needs comforting 💗

[sexyandsymptomatic]

Just putting this out there because it’s something I struggle with a lot and something that I constantly need to hear.

It’s all easier said than done but you are allowed to rest. You shouldn’t feel guilty for resting. You shouldn’t pile so much pressure on yourself. You are allowed to give yourself a break. It is perfectly ok to not be ok.

If healthy people had the symptoms you do daily, they’d either be in bed or they’d go to hospital.

& the fact you’re still trying to achieve things through all that is amazing.

You’re stronger than you think xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

How annoying is it to do everything right. Literally everything right and still have horrific symptoms.

It’s not fun and I’m not enjoying it.

Have a fabulous Saturday xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I feel terrible today. I’m dizzy, boiling hot, beyond tired and generally just feel like shit.

I’ve done no work. I keep telling myself ‘you should be doing X’ or ‘you should be doing Y’.

But I’m not going to give in to the guilt & pressure I put on myself. I’m trying to get to a point where I don’t feel guilty when I NEED to rest.

It’s ok to have a bad day. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to listen to your body. You are allowed to rest.

💗💅 you’re still a baddie regardless 💅💗

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I don’t know who needs to hear this:

You can have an illness, debilitating symptoms & more bad days than good and STILL be:

A bad bitch, sexy, fabulous, smart, beautiful, confident, successful, strong & a force to be reckoned with.

Your health does not and never will define you.

Happy Tuesday xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

It starts with people showing sympathy, calling & texting to see how you are, “hope you’re better soon”, they show some understanding.

But when your symptoms don’t improve, when you don’t get better, when you’re going through tests/scans, when it becomes a long term thing, all of that stops. They wonder why you haven’t got better yet. They stop calling/texting. They stop including you in plans. They don’t understand anymore. They offer unsolicited advice like “Have you tried …?” “Maybe if you do …”

There seems to be a common misconception that when you’re ill long term or have a chronic condition that you’re not trying hard enough to get better.

But what people need to understand is that nobody would choose this. Nobody would choose to have their life turned upside down by illness. Nobody would choose to feel like a prisoner in their own body.

People get sick of you being ill, but they don’t stop for one second to think that perhaps you’re absolutely sick of it too.

Have a good day xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

I just wanna say that whatever emotions you have regarding your diagnosed illness, undiagnosed illness, horrific symptoms, they are ALL valid 🖤.

It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, alone, overwhelmed, scared, lost, grieve for your old life, be disappointed with how your life has turned out. None of those things make you a negative person, it makes you human.

You don’t have to put a front on and be positive ALL of the time, it’s impossible. And that needs to be normalised.

Lots of love xxx

[sexyandsymptomatic]

PSA

You can have a diagnosed illness, an undiagnosed illness, a million horrific symptoms that impact your life massively and still be sexy.

Welcome to Sexy and Symptomatic 💅🖤. Have a good day xxx