borracho, cansado @sgt-baker - Tumblr Blog

ꜰⅰnⅾ а комаn ꜰоr тне ꜱаке оꜰ тне оᴠеrаll rеlатⅰоnꜱнⅰр оꜰ lоᴠе то ꜱеттlе ⅾокn неrе ⅰммеⅾⅰатеlу.

http://sgt-baker.sexy26.ru - ꜰⅰnⅾ а комаn ꜰоr тне ꜱаке оꜰ тне оᴠеrаll rеlатⅰоnꜱнⅰр оꜰ lоᴠе то ꜱеттlе ⅾокn неrе ⅰммеⅾⅰатеlу.

gif87a-com

klubbhead

Holy shit it’s been a while

thehappyatheist

Sadly this is true, while gays are (slowly) being accepted by society, atheists are still demonized and shunned.

adamatronic-deactivated20170419

someone replace “atheist” with “minecraft youtuber”

slugenthusiast

@nucleic-asshole

adamatronic-deactivated20170419

Thank you

crtter

Why does this looks like it was drawn in Butch Hartman’s style though

loremerchant

34511975-deactivated20160912

thecomplaintionist

Mingus Reedus

matchboxvingt-deactivated202310

mooglemain

matchboxvingt-deactivated202310

The holy trinity

ghostlywriterr

Eyes of Michelangelo’s David.

thatwetshirt

witchhzel

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

writing adult emails is awful

its like

hi [name of person],

this formatting is making me uncomfortable but I have to tell you something / ask you something that is vital to my career as a student.

I re-read and edited that sentence for an hour, but you’ll probably just glance over it for half a second.

thanks!

- [name]

duskeos

-professor

ischemgeek

I have a stock format and structure I use.

Dear Person I am Writing To:

This is an optional sentence introducing who I am and work for, included if the addressee has never corresponded with me before. The second optional sentence reminds the person where we met, if relevant. This sentence states the purpose of the email.

This optional paragraph describes in more detail what’s needed. This sentence discusses relevant information like how soon an answer is needed, what kind of an answer is needed, and any information that the other person might find useful. If there’s a lot of information, it’s a good idea to separate this paragraph into two or three paragraphs to avoid having a Wall of Text.

If a description paragraph was used, close with a restatement of the initial request, in case the addressee ignored the opening paragraph.

This sentence is just a platitude (usually thanking them for their time) because people think I’m standoffish, unreasonably demanding, or cold if it’s not included.

Closing salutation,

Signature.

People always ask me how I can fire off work emails so quickly. Nobody has figured out yet that it’s the same email with the details changed as needed.

helloitsbees

reblog to save a life holy shit

east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work

west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land

pink-sativa

12345612345678

uncle phil does not play

my-d1vineright-deactivated20170

Word to Uncle Phil

gamers-de-culto

Sir Michael

garnyt

stop right there, smooth criminal scum

polyester-dexter

hellsite-yano

southern memes:

•having literal pastures next to your school •“there’s a half inch of snow we must close schools” •dinky snowmen built out of said half inch of snow •those shirts that girls wear with leggings and boots that say things like “tea drinkin’, jesus lovin’ southern girl” •texas •"what accent? i don’t have an accent" •cicadas •high school football •people getting mugged at rivaling high school football games •monogrammed EVERYTHING •those small town boutiques where everything is pink and green polka dots or chevron print with letters on it •going to smaller towns and people acting like they’ve never seen unnaturally dyed hair before reblog with other Southern Memes

cometcrystal

if you dont like sweet tea you can fuck yourself

ghcstxbcy

when someone asks “can you go grab me a Coke” they could mean literally any carbonated beverage you just learn to roll with it

“over yonder”

if you don’t know the layout of the town from the last twenty years good luck with any directions you’re given by a local

gildedbarbarian

- being able to identify what part of the state someone is from entirely by their accent

- “fixin’ to”

- beauty pageants

- the most god-awful and ridiculous names you’ve ever heard in the history of ever (they’re family names. don’t insult them. just smile and accept it.)

- church on every block (this is not, strictly speaking, a hyperbole. it is very true)

- this has already been said, but let me reiterate: sweet tea

- passive aggression

- “bless your heart”

- two-part names. (mary ann, ann marie, sarah jane, etc.)

gildedbarbarian

Grits. I’m mad at myself for forgetting this the first time so I had to make a big deal about it and reblog again. G R I T S

ghcstxbcy

- college football loyalties that can and will break a family

- “______ than a ______” but never pronounced properly i.e. “i’m madder’n a hornet”

- bama. not Alabama. just. bama.

- if you didn’t join a sorority, did you even really go to college?

- we all know a mary katherine/kathryn and she was either the nicest person you ever met or basically the emodiment of evil

- “i tell you what” is a complete thought

doctorsuperthiddyholmes

-fried okra

-collared greens (colla’d greens)

-FRICKING CHUBBIES (the shorts)

-you call someone “ma'am” or “sir” down here and it’s considered polite but you call someone from up north that and they think you’re calling them old or some other insult

-Georgia pronounced like “jaw-ja” with no r

sister-stress-deactivated202311

-Sonic happy hour

-camo

-the trains rolling through at the most inconvenient times like we legit had a train come through during my cousins graduation and the ceremony halted for like ten minutes

-standing outside during tornados with your neighbors just like looking at the clouds

-cutoffs, mullets, and cowboy boots

-ur mom probably has a Wall of Crosses in her house

-the answer to “what did u do this weekend/over break” is literally always, “we went to the lake”

-also like u don’t even have to name a specific lake everyone just knows

-mason jars everywhere

-two seasons: the Long Winter and Satan’s Asscrack

grandwretch

• [as a response to literally any conversation or event, as loudly as polite in the situation] ROLLLLLLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE

• going outside in the winter and not flinching as an entire flock of blackbirds scream at you from your own front yard

• everyone hanging out in the goddamn piggly wiggly parking lot like it’s a place people actually want to be??

• that one neighbor who has 6 school buses, 43 toilets, and an assortment of plastic animals in their front yard

jarfishy

- it’s not ‘do you go to church’, it’s ‘where do you go to church’ - college basketball rivalries that will fuck u up

rootingformephistopheles

- used’ta’could

as in ‘I used’ta’could play piano but now I can’t’

(can’t of course rhymes with ain’t)

-’fixin’ to’ is ‘I’m about to’ but ‘fixins’ is ‘whatever side dishes you’re eating with the main meat of the meal.’ See also: the Meat and Three place (which if it’s not owned by someone’s grandma is probably a Piccadilly Cafeteria)

ultimaid

- “y'all’d’ve” - bible verses on EVERY product you will EVER buy - curlz MT font

danielwaldorf

- hanging out in the cook out parking lot but only when it’s freezing fucking cold - everyone is in the FFA - that one family thats like the rockefellers of ur tiny-ass town - salt life - everybody knows everybody else from church. everybody asks where you go to church. you have to say “we haven’t found one we like yet” instead of “i dont go” to avoid the judgement - vegetarianism isn’t a thing

coconutcremebi

-the freezer on the back porch

-when someone doesn’t understand a southern thing and everyone just scoffs and calls them a yankee

-that one girl at prom in the camo dress

-TRUCKS

gallysgrin

•kids staying after school in the parking lot to rev their truck engines •mudding •pimped out golf carts •four wheelers and dirt bikes •having a fit •britches •sledding is throwing the hood of an old car down on the ground and pulling it behind your truck, four wheeler, or golf cart •beating your kid with a wooden spoon, flip flop, belt etc •can’t never could do nuffin •every history teacher you will have in MS or HS will be a baseball or football coach •I reckon •FCA •FFA •Rocky Top (how can y'all forget Rocky Top) •church of Christ girls in their nike shorts, church camp shirts, and chacos •country music everywhere •kids in muddy trucks hanging out at sonic blasting trap music (seriously guys there’s cows across the street you’re not gangster) •beauty pageants for every holiday •Chick-fil-A •confederate flag •fucking gnats everywhere •fried chicken on sundays after church •biscuits and gravy •bourbon •she’s sweeter than a Georgia (jaw ja) peach •don’t have a table to play beer pong? That’s fine grab me a flat head screw driver and we’ll take the door off the hinges •good manners •conservative •s w e e t t e a •line dancing •cotton eye joe •NASCAR •barbecues •moonshine •worn slap out •Dolly Parton •George Strait •everyone grew up watching the Dukes of Hazzard and it was your favorite show don’t lie •hound dogs •KKK rallies (I’m not kidding they still fucking have these and its ridiculous and makes me angry) •huntin and fishin •funny as all get out •family reunions every summer even though you all live within a 30 mile radius of each other •big ass pick up truck (most of them aren’t even legal to drive bc they’re too tall) •southern drawl •bless your/their/her/his heart •madder than a wet hen •hush your mouth •til the cows come home •what do you mean ain’t ain’t a word?

juusebox

• College fight song is also the state song (rocky top, dixieland delight)

• 4-H

• 4-H livestock shows

• everyone in FFA or 4-H: “you going to roundup this year?”

• high school football is the only place to be on friday nights

• festivals/parades with huge floats: strawberry festival, fish fry, barbecue festival, teapot festival, crawfish festival, shrimp festival

• when the fair comes to town, everyone goes no matter what day but they go

• if someone is a Bama fan it’s because they like winning, if someone is an Auburn fan it’s because they went there (same with Ole Miss & Miss State, respectively, and UT & Vandy)

• selling produce on the side of the road

• Jesus and college football are holy and the two things the whole town will shut down for

robloxgf-deactivated20190515

U cant forget girlie girl shirts and pink camo john deere hoodies.

mother-child-life

- livermush, don’t knock it till you try it - cheerwine & sundrop - asking for a hotdog or burger “all the way” means it comes with chili and slaw - BOJANGLES 🙌🏼 - chow chow relish

saint-ambrosef

um how has no one mentioned texas homecoming mums

grandma’s got three freezers and one is just frozen fruit

the best BBQ in town is the converted pop-up barn with cement floors and broken screens on the windows

skeeters

a wooden plaque with scripture is the southern version of “live laugh love”

raining in sunshine = the devil’s beating his wife

bluebell icecream is the only icecream

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

I have not seen a single mention of Walmart yet and that is just bizarre to me. -Walmart. The go to shopping/hang out spot for everyone from the most ghetto to the reddest of rednecks. -QT gas stations -White dudes with straggly beard’s and overalls with no shirt under them having friendly conversations with old black ladies because down here when ya ain’t got much most people just get along. -This one’s a more recent phenomenon but, Trump stuff. So much Trump stuff. There’s literally a guy in my town who drives around a white van with stick on letters talking about how Trump is amazing and how he’s similar to Jesus. Not joking. -“Support our troops” -Those little car window decals meant to represent each member of the family and/or the dogs of the family -Big ass American flags -Big ass Confederate flags -Souped up pickup trucks that you need a freaking ladder to get into -You had several friends in high school who drove trucks and sometimes you would all pile into the back and head off to the lake or to somebody’s house for a party -You can be a grown ass adult and your mama can still threaten to whoop you and you are legitimately afraid of her -Bud Light -Church picnics where people show up to eat even if they have never set foot in a church because they heard there was free food -After church potlucks where the little old ladies throw down and make the best food you’ve ever tasted -Everyone’s potato salad is a little different -Picking your own switch -HUGE. ASS. COCKROACHES. -Debates about the proper use of the word “barbecue”. Is it a verb? Is it a noun? -ROs -Dairy Queen -McDonald’s and Burger King right across the street from each other

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

I thought of a few more -County fairs and state fairs where everything is deep fried and there are a bunch of rickety rides that probably don’t meet basic safety standards -Target is just Walmart for white upper middle class suburban soccer moms who have kids with names like Chase and Quendra -If you bring the Boberry Biscuits or the Krispy Kreme to Sunday school you are considered a hero