They joke about Danny getting adopted just like every black-haired blue-eyed teen Mr. Wayne comes across. Sure, he doesn’t know Danny fits the criteria but it’s a good laugh.
Then Amity Park gets swamped with tourists who saw the news footage and wanted to meet Phantom. Geez, Danny knew Mr. Wayne was famous and well-liked but his word alone did this??? It was worse than that time all his classmates were chasing him around town for autographs!
Because here’s the thing about tourists - they have no clue how to act during a ghost attack.
Danny was hard pressed to make enough shields to protect the crowds. He couldn’t fight back. Couldn’t split his focus long enough to fire any ecto-blasts to drive the ghost back. The only reason they won the fight was because Red Huntress showed up to attack and Sam had a spare thermos.
But the worst part? The nightmare come true?
He was so exhausted and frazzled after the fight he didn’t notice his parents coming up from the basement as he flew into the house, turned visible and transformed back to human.
They say your instincts kick your muscles into gear faster than thought can process. Maddie and Jack pulled weapons to fight. But Danny could literally take flight.
Suddenly the last two days of joking became his only hope for safety.
Danny landed on Bruce Wayne’s doorstep after the fastest flight of his life and phased into the entryway without knocking. He heard noise down the hall and floated straight to it, making the four people around the dinner table jump in shock.
“Hi!” Danny tried to grin charmingly but was sure it came out a bit manic. He was shaking. Halfway to Gotham he’d realized his mom got a shot in before he escaped and his back flared in pain.
“So sorry to interrupt your meal but I’ve got this favor to ask,” he spoke quickly, trying get to the point before anyone had time to freak out and scream or call the cops. He looked directly at Mr. Wayne, ignoring the old man in the suit, a tan-skinned man across the table, and a young boy who was… holding a throwing knife at the ready? Nope, not important, intangibility solved that possible danger.
“You adopt kids like crazy, right?! Can you adopt me?” Various forms of shock and dropped jaws answered him, but he kept going. “Please? Like, I won’t be any trouble. Promise. I barely eat anything and I can help with cleaning! You just gotta promise not to tell anyone I’m here, okay? Especially don’t let anyone in Amity Park hear about it. Or Batman! Don’t tell Batman, I heard he hates people with powers being in Gotham. Kinda bigoted if you ask me cuz people can’t control how they’re born or what lab accidents happen when they’re 14, you know? And doesn’t he work with a ton of metas and aliens and gods? You’d think the guy would drop his prejudices with Wonder Woman standing right there - but that’s not the point. The point is I need to hide and YOU said on live tv that I’m your favorite hero so can you please do me this huge favor and let me hide here? Honestly with how big your house is I bet you wouldn’t even notice me and I’ll blend right in with your other twenty kids - well, I know it doesn’t look like it right now but swear I CAN look like your other twenty kids.”
In a flash of white light he stood before them, black-haired, blue-eyed, and grinning nervously.
“See? I bet you couldn’t even tell me apart from - Oh. Ow.”
The pain in his back got worse now that he was human again. And he hadn’t been breathing that whole time he spoke and his lungs were on fire. And his body’s shaking got so bad now that he wasn’t floating that his knees gave out.
Immediately he was surrounded and a hand that tried to help him sit up went through his body instead. Oh right, he should turn off the intangibility so they could help him.
“You’re bleeding!” the tan-skinned man said in shock.
“Dick, go get the first aid kit,” Mr. Wayne told him in a calm but firm tone. “Damian, please get some sterilized water, a pillow, and blanket.”
Both ran off as the old man succeeded in supporting him. He was getting bloody ectoplasm on the guy’s suit. That wasn’t very non-problematic adoptable behavior.
“Sorry,” he mumbled as Bruce shone a flashlight in his eyes, but his vision was swimming and he gasped for air and the longest day of his half-life was finally catching up to him. “I’m just gonna… gonna pass out here… just for a minute. You can… you can adopt me when I wake up. …okay?”
