Hate to break it to you, but you cant always get caught up in the emotional side of things.
If you’re in the middle of a conflict (ie. argument, negotiation, etc.) getting angry is not going to get you where you want to go.
The best way to resolve any sort of confrontation is to remain calm and keep a level head. If you can do that, then you can look at your options and make a better decision than if you’re upset.
The moment you start to get mad about anything, is the moment you lose. Even if you reach an agreement, someone doesnt end up happy. Either the other party resents the agreement, or you both regret the outcome. There is no middle ground when you get upset.
However, if you stay calm, you can find something that can appease both parties. For example: when negotiating your rent with your landlord when it’s time to renew your lease, if you get upset, the landlord can (and probably will) tell you to find another place. But if you can turn around and look at the situation from the landlords point if view (doesnt want to find new tenants, and bills are rising), you can make an agreement in which both parties are able to leave happy.
Another aspect is depression:
If you are struggling, the best thing to do is simply do what you have to do. It might be exhausting, but getting up and going to work when you want nothing more than to just lay in bed all day will make you feel better than just doing nothing. Because if you do nothing, youll have that added weight of worthlessness the next day.
If you can get something done, regardless of how small or mundane, like the laundry, taking care of hygiene, working out for 5 minutes, *something*, then there is a sense of accomplishment.
Whenever i struggle with depression episodes, i usually start by finding a home for 5 things in my house. That eventually gets carried away until my entire house seems like i had a maid for a bit. Sure, its still a mess, but its clean compared to what it used to be.
That might not work for you. Maybe those 5 things that got put away was as much as you could do, and thats ok. Dont get caught up in emotion. Those 5 things were a *start*. Tomorrow, do 5 more things. And before you know it, youll have a clean house.
Whatever you do, it revolves down to emotion. If you really love doing something and are scared that people are going to think you arent any good, why should that stop you?
They dont live your life. So why should they get to control it?
As much as i hate to roll it back to me again, (and as egotistical as it sounds), i am consistently told that im too young to talk to people about this kind of stuff. But i love doing this, i love helping people get through roughish times. So when i hear someone tell me i cant, j hear white noise. If someone gives me legitimate advice, ill take that and improve myself. If someone tells me im doing amazing, its still white noise. If someone tells me im excelling at something in particular, i bear it in mind when i start again. Yes, im young. But why does that have to be a bad thing?
Keep yourself happy, and fuck what they have to say. Because there will always be people trying to tear you down; they dont want to see you happier than they are. Live your life, and dont let emotions fuck yiu over.
jacobvanloon
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tangentwithtanner
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