frumpkin's tea shop

Fandom sideblog that functions as a main blog for @emu-llama Currently mostly Critical Role and Joker Out, a bit of BBC Merlin Eli, any* pronouns *ze/zir is nice, she/her is meh, he/him is cool, whatever else is fun, just keep it consistent in a given discourse

[gendercensus]

2026 nonbinary name survey: results

While the big annual survey continues (until 13th August), I'm here to give you the results of the nonbinary name survey!

This is on the blog because it's technically a side survey for fun. The survey ran from 5th July to 3rd August, and there were 11,340 usable responses. You can see the spreadsheet of results here.

Top 20 names

Alex (1.01%, 204 people)

Jay (0.69%)

Sam (0.51%)

Charlie (0.49%)

Robin (0.48%)

Rowan (0.41%)

Ash (0.40%)

Max (0.33%)

Lee (0.31%)

Eli (0.31%)

Kai (0.31%)

Moss (0.29%)

Quinn (0.28%)

Wren (0.28%)

Aster (0.28%)

Jamie (0.28%)

Kit (0.26%)

Jack (0.25%)

Morgan (0.25%)

Ari (0.24%, 49 people)

Here's that top 20 as a graph, for the visual-brained folks:

The gender intentions of 18 of the top 20 names was "gender-neutral"; the two exceptions were Eli and Jack, where people were more likely to be aiming for something more masculine.

Here's the last name survey I ran, in 2023. The design was quite different, but the top 4 were the same names in the same order. The top 10 are the same names in a different order, but with one change: last time Kit was in the top 10 (this year it's at #17), and this time Lee is in the top 10 instead (last year it was #20).

This time I gave participants three slots to enter names. 20,118 names were entered in total, of which 2,358 (about 12%) were entered more than once. 22% of participants used all three slots, which seems like a lot to me, and maybe if I do this again I should provide more slots.

There were 8 names in the top 100 where people entering that name were more likely than not to be keeping a birth name:

Hannah (93.8% of Hannahs were keeping a birth name)

Elizabeth (93.3%)

Emily (91.3%)

Anna (86.8%)

Sarah (84.4%)

Emma (84.2%)

Laura (80.8%)

Claire (75.0%)

On the flipside, there were seven names entered over 20 times that were exclusively chosen by the participants themselves:

Aster (56 participants)

Rain (39)

Crow (29)

Niko (25)

Nyx (24)

Elias (22)

Briar (20)

Here's a graph of the gender intentions of each name:

Of the names that were not given at birth, here are the gender intention options and their top 3 names in each:

Gender-neutral:

Riley (74.2%)

Quinn (70.2%)

Sasha (68.8%)

Nonbinary:

Echo (50.0%)

Moth (35.3%)

Mars (34.1%)

Feminine:

Luna (64.5%)

Alice (34.3%)

Willow (30.3%)

Masculine:

Oliver (75.6%)

Alexander (70.6%)

James (65.9%)

Which means, this time, we have achieved our goal and discovered that:

the nonbinariest name is Echo! (24 people, 0.12% of participants.)

the most common name among nonbinary people is Alex, with an incredible ~1 in 100 nonbinary people going by this name.

And finally, despite the stereotype that nonbinary names are all three characters long, the most common number of characters in all names entered (including every name entry counted individually, and including names entered only once) is 4 or 5. Here's a graph:

As promised, the full spreadsheet of results doesn't contain individual responses, and any name entered only once is left out of the list. This is because names are identifying information and I don't want to risk anyone accidentally outing themselves due to having a very unusual or unique name.

Here's the results spreadsheet link again. Enjoy!

[ Take part in the 2026 Gender Census before 13th August 2026 ]

[mad-hare]

in love with this Norwegian trotter named Express Go that’s won 7/7 races so far, is only 14.2hh, and has taught herself to duck down her head to give herself super speed (and lengthen her stride I guess)

[croszukis]

yonetani grin — LA v NY 08.01.26

[pwhl-mybeloved]

[bakerharrystyles]

@merthurmicrofic prompt: flowers Word count: approx. 884 words

[croszukis]

we’ve been robbed of seeing women in pinstripe baseball uniforms for too long

[pwhl-mybeloved]

The first RBIs in WPBL history belong to Maggie Foxx as she lines one to left to bring in Mo'ne Davis and Ashton Lansdell.

[aruddyduck]

go watch the wpbl.

there’s lesbians covered in mud. there’s a mascot that’s 80% awesome and 20% problematic. there’s Chappell Roan over the loudspeakers. there’s legends of women’s athletics throwing the first pitch and little children watching the future unfold from the stands. there’s Springfield, Illinois. there’s misogynistic weather. there’s people in the comments section on YouTube actively explaining the rules to newbies who are interesting in the sport for the first time because it exists for them too now. there’s some rough times in the outfield. there’s stars from banana ball and little league and the olympics. there’s insane comebacks in the final inning. there’s commentators breathlessly anticipating a future full of equal access to development programs and athletic specialists. there’s a lot of wind.

go watch the wpbl there’s a chance to witness the beginning of something new and cool.

[pwhl-mybeloved]

[speedyy70]

[08.01.26] Maggie Foxx on the mound

[hearteyesilya]

denae benites hits the first home run of the wpbl

|| los angeles queens vs. new york heights || august 1st, 2026 ||

[pwhl-mybeloved]

The first thing Maybelle said to me when I saw her today was, “We did it Kels, we made it, we’re here.” We sure did Maybelle ❤️

[emma-dennehy-on-ice]

@pwhl-mybeloved ask and ye shall receive

[hyydraworks]

Expanding the back yard bird selection. Also realized I’ve failed to show the tiny peets on the birds I’ve recently started adding.

[raptorcivilization]

Reminder to all nonbinary people: You can summon SUE the T. rex for aid

[jedthewolfdog]

the more i learn about the ties between stress and nervous system disregulation and "mental illness" and physical health issues and what things outside talk therapy are therapeutic the more im like. damn many early cultures & indigenous societies had this shit figured out and the modern world is absolutely one big wellbeing shredder

to really boil it down to essentials like ...

childhood trauma is overwhelmingly common

childhood trauma creates long term stress which leads to nervous system disregulation [same source]

nervous system disregulation leads to inflammation in the brain

inflammation in the brain leads to "mental illnesses" like schizophrenia, major depression, and ptsd

these things contribute to stress, ensuring the stress stays chronic as well as the nervous system disregulation, which leads to physical illness and premature death

and then you look at like ...

spending time in green spaces like forests and blue spaces like oceans and rivers are both therapeutic

singing (especially group singing) boosts your immune system, mood, and regulates your nervous system

exercise regulates your nervous system and alleviates "mental illness" symptoms

playing is therapeutic and integrates your emotions and identity even in the face of trauma

and its like. oh okay. as modern cultures we barely have time for and are discouraged from participating in all the things we evolved to thrive with while constantly heaping on the amount of stress we can possibly fit in our day to day lives

and its like well no wonder people love concerts and karaoke and national parks and sports and going to the beach and playing games. these things Literally make us healthier

but also we need to make these things more regular parts of our lives if we're gonna have the endurance to fight rising global capitalism, fascism, and genocide

so my tips for Surviving All This Shit:

go to the park or be around a body of water at least once a week. schedule a time & make it part of your routine

exercise for 20-30 minutes most days, whether its walking around your neighborhood, playing a sport, lifting weights while you watch tv, swimming, etc

sing with your friends. go to local concerts. sing to your pets. sing at religious services. join a choir

play a game at least once a week. obv my recommendation is ttrpgs (anything but d&d 5e, i beg), but this also includes any video game that's not online competitive games against strangers. playing video games for 30 minutes a day but not over 3 hours a day is literally healthy for you

stop looking at traumatic news if youre not going to do anything about it. if you read a news article and then go volunteer, get involved in a community, donate money, or engage in activism, that's awesome!! keep it up. if you read the news regularly and it makes you upset and scared and depressed and then youre too overwhelmed to do anything about it Please Stop For Real you're both not helping the situation and also actively literally killing yourself. find one topic to engage with, find a way to make a difference for that topic, and delete the news app from your phone im being so real right now

read nonfiction by indigenous authors! this is just a general tip but also like. open your mind to other ways of society operating. it was not always like this and does not have to stay this way. if you see a recommendation post on here seriously look at the recs and try to get one from your library. there's a rec list of indigenous nonfiction here and another rec list here for some options that could be good to start with (both very north america focused). you can also search "indigenous nonfiction" in the tumblr search to see what others are reading. i'm currently making my way through braiding sweetgrass and indigenous economics is next on my list

like. we can and will survive this but it's going to be a much harder and longer fight if we're all riddled with so much stress that our bodies and minds break apart. go look at a tree 👍 play a game 👍 sing with your friends 👍 it could literally change your life & the world

[jedthewolfdog]

better indigenous nonfiction rec list than the ones i had linked before :)

[oaluz]

this reminds me so much of michael yellow bird's concept of neurodecolonisation: understanding how colonisation and racial capitalism affect our body-minds and re-integrating traditional practices into care. reframing contemplative practices, dance, song, movement as a form of resistance

[jedthewolfdog]

yes yes yes!!! thank you so much for adding this. i somehow had not heard of him or his work but this is exactly what im talking about (and a really great resource for me as someone whos intending to become a therapist)

i did also want to address the tags left by @blackvelvetofnight which i feel is relevant here:

i do want to thank you for adding these tags bc i think the like. "idealized utopia full of enlightened nature fairies" view of native people and precolonial indigenous societies that a lot of leftie folks have is like. deeply harmful as well as not actually being productive or beneficial in any way. and i was worried my original post could come across like that and was attempting not to and i do not think my phrasing entirely landed

many early, indigenous, and/or precolonial societies were full of struggle, intentional harm and violence, or cultural norms that most modern leftists no longer align with. and still, with that said, of the ones i have been educated on, the material realities of those societies were still psychologically healthier than the modern western world, due to a combo of factors including culture but also their most used technologies vs ours, their most common forms of labor vs ours, their available sources of entertainment, what they turned to for meaning & understanding, and many other things

like you said: all this shit is brand new & our bodies remember. living in the modern world (in many places, especially western / colonized / formerly colonized places) is like trying to run the biggest ps5 game you can think of on a laptop from 1998 ... our hardware (body, brain) is tens of thousands of years old and like. smartphones didnt exist until i was in high school lmao, yknow? i thought the video calling from the original pokemon anime was far too futuristic to ever exist in my lifetime. like. our brains have had No Time to adapt to this stuff and the world is changing FAR too fast for them to!

i was actually originally inspired to make this post not due to the writings of indigenous authors (tho that did inform a lot of my subsequent research and recommendations) but because the last 6 months ive gotten reinvolved in a jewish community after being separated from one for nearly 15 years

and like. so quickly my mental health skyrocketed. def in some part bc of my brain being happy about finding familiarity after a decade of upheaval. but also bc like. a lot of the structure of following judaism, which my people have been doing for thousands of years, is just ... inherently healthy on a psychological level?

weekly mandatory rest, social gathering with your community, meal sharing with your community, group singing, and reflection (shabbat); taking time to interrogate your beliefs, practicing critical thinking and analysis (torah study); spending time outside (many holidays); reading books & learning (inherent to many aspects of judaism and a mitzvah); being active in matters of social justice and activism (also inherent to judaism & a mitzvah, with varying levels of "mandatory" depending on your age & situation - i had weekly school hours dedicated to volunteering when i was in jewish dayschool); prescribed times to mourn, celebrate, and make amends for your mistakes, in ways that are scaffolded and supported by the community (such as the high holy days); the list goes on ...

i did have a conversation about this with a friend and fellow congregant who is a therapist, and she was shocked when i pointed it out and laid out my evidence but she did agree

i think what i was trying to get at in my original post and failed is that there was a time where many societies and the cultures they formed were not designed and run with malicious intent. and in our modern world, that is no longer true, due to colonialism, capitalism, and also many modern technologies just being fundamentally harmful in various ways. me saying "read indigenous lit and see that our society doesnt have to look the way it does now" was less me believing that indigenous cultures were all a utopia and more me understanding more and more that many people just like. dont even Know things can opperate any other way. you dont know to look for things you dont know you dont know, and many people in power have a very vested interest in the general population thinking This Is Just How Things Work

and i think in many places that illusion is breaking. people are becoming more interconnected, knoweldge is easier to access than ever before, and the peoples of the world are exhausted and angry. i want to take a sledgehammer to the cracks of that illusion, and i do think reading indigenous writing is one of the most accessible tools we have to do that

[pwhl-mybeloved]