Shadow Magicka @shadowmagicka - Tumblr Blog

what a time to be alive

do you ever feel like you’re just sort of

there

like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone

like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything

kevinolett

Ive seen this story countless times but it never gets old.

gifmovie

supaslim

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

secretelaborateplan-deactivated

Why has nobody mentioned what’s happening in the original gif?

This is how orcas hunt - or, it’s one of the ways they do. They have a ton of tricks and techniques they use to fuck up everything below them on the food chain, and that gif portrays my personal favorite.

Orcas will literally BEACH THEMSELVES to grab unsuspecting seals (or whatever else happens to be splashing around in the surf) and snarf them down like hot dogs. Yeah, that’s right. This is a 6-ton apex predator, crashing right out of the fucking water to snatch their prey right off the beach. Any other animal that size would get stuck there and die, but do you see that fucker? He fucking wriggles right back into the surf. An orca can get all the way up onto dry land and still manage to wiggle their way back into the water to fuck up more shit on another day. There is literally no other sea-dwelling creature of comparative size with that ability - most sea animals lack the muscular strength to move without enough water supporting their weight.

Orcas have also been known to eat moose. Yeah, that’s right. Fucking MOOSE.

You don’t fuck with orcas.

cassiamovingforward-deactivated

The gif hasn’t even loaded and I’m reblogging solely for this beautifully writing terrorized by orca soul.

spyderqueen

They also team up to start creating waves to knock seals off of the bits of ice they try to hide on. And when a film crew was documenting this behavior, a group of juveniles began doing a low power version of the same thing to the crew’s raft. Kind of a “Oh, so you’re interested in how this works are ya? Hahahahahaa!” thing.

cityelf

I just stumbled across the best photo ever

It looks like Valjean’s about to break into some furious breakdancing and Javert’s all “yo step back this is gonna be sick”

burekevan-deactivated20221028

Robin Williams’ last lines.

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (2014)

impervious-wit

If you don’t have respect for how Robin Williams made the whole world smile even though he was fighting a horrendous battle in the darkest pits of hell, then you don’t deserve my time.

alsocalledhawkeye

Scientific/psychological fact for you fine Tumblr folks:

Recent studies on depression report that folks diagnosed with depression actually laugh more, laugh louder, and laugh harder than people without depression. People with depression will also spend more time trying to make others laugh, telling jokes, and trying to lighten a mood than people who do not have depression. People with depression tended to be more caring partners, better friends and kinder people than those who were depression free. People with depression actually act the complete opposite of the way you’d think; this is largely why, when people do commit suicide, his or her (or whichever pronoun you like) family and friends “didn’t see it coming” and describe the lost soul as “always happy and smiling”.

So, along with the other symptoms to look out for, take notice of those things. If someone close to you shows all those symptoms, plus the lethargy, apathy, etc, reach out to them.

sheila-the-rapidash

rip robin williams. you will be remembered

dudewithabow

princess-j-english-deactivated2

… He is making some very good points.

seventeeneblack

“Four legged boobs.”

zakune

nigahiga spittin straight wisdom

nateural-deactivated20250921

I’m hugging my mother when she gets home.

nateural-deactivated20250921

I forgot to turn on the oven.

I’m a problem child and I’m almost 20.

brimalandro

monarchvee

If anyone ever asks me to define love, I’m just going to show them this.

fecloras

jackie chan’s facebook page is pure gold

lately-katie

Everything about Jackie Chan is pure gold…

clintbarthon

that moment when deadpool is a better person than others

sciencesarcasmandstuff

Evening Post: August 12, 1899. "She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…” I would love to know what this means.

fozmeadows

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

brsis-blog

boxing was considered a science in the 19th century, so it likely meant ‘in such a manner that suggested training or previous experience’

skjdghskghoueragkjlm

a show is only as good as its filler episodes

and avatar: the last airbender was on a whole other level

great-nowgetout

sophielostandfound

this was what a filler episode SHOULD be, it may not have furthered the plot, but it did highlight the characters and deepen our understanding of them

itsdcat

@hereshestands

skinnyasianguy-deactivated20160

Go big or go home

discover-tenthousand

So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.

In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.