Keep It Juicy

if im a bitch then im the baddest bitch

[shaemynamexoxo]

chaotic-luca‌:

Luca nodded enthusiastically with a serious face, then jabbed in four nails without much precision or care, watching as the tapestry remained hanging and wondering how long it might take before it came falling off. Only time would tell. Which was the chaotic nature of time that she loved. She turned with a grin at the clever word play. She had gotten almost everything she owned right now from the thrift shop, including some clothing. Being a part of the Jem Family paid well enough, but some of these things you really couldn’t find in a normal first hand store. Second hand just brought it. Really brought it. 

She put on her yellow heart sunglasses, the rainbow printed shawl, and threw herself onto the couch, squinting her eyes at Shae and their pipe. Being Dutch, Luca had her run-in with drugs at a very young age, it was legal and accepted. It was easy to get your hands on, and you could even have a plant of your own. She thus had this strange relationship with the substance that meant she didn’t feel the coolness of doing it anymore. She only used when she felt like it would make the event worthwhile. In this case, it would. 

She clambered off the couch, took a small hit because she was already pretty all over the place without it, and pointed at the kitchen. “To the food shed!” 

Shae hummed softly as they hopped up onto one of the counters, kicking their feet lightly and grinning over at Luca before nudging the box next to them with an elbow. “I hope this is the box with the magnets. I want to put up new photos on the fridge this time,” they said with bright eyes. “Maybe ones from the beach!”

Miami was going to be amazing. Warm weather and beautiful scenery and new places to explore. But… still they felt a small pang as they thought of Chicago. It was strange. They didn’t think themselves very sentimental, and yet here they sat, being their own party pooper.

“Do you think you’re gonna miss Chicago?” Shae asked casually, trying to hide their own personal turmoil occurring.

[shaemynamexoxo]

chxshiki‌:

For a moment, barely there but still weakening, Shae’s distraction worked on him. The soft breeze, the memory of sea-salt, pink petals falling around him, home… His expression remained undisturbed though, a gentle twitch of an eyebrow, just enough to let them know that he noticed. “Impressive,” he nodded, still cautious, still trying to figure out what they were playing out. Benjamin had taught him enough, he wasn’t so easily fooled. 

He listened, instead. An amused smile forming on his lips. Oh, they were good. A lesser man would fall for it, the offer of a good time, being heard, being talked to, the company and the…. other activities. He was, however, not interested in any of them. “Our gangs might be rivals but our struggles are the same. I doubt anything I can tell you will be good enough to bring back to papa Damien,” he shrugs, relaxing a bit into his seat. 

“How about a drink? I can offer you that,” he smiles, completely ignoring both their offer and the feet hooked behind his calf. “And I could listen to you talk, if you so wish.  As for the rest, you might have better luck offering it to a different man.”

Impressive, he said, and Shae almost wanted to laugh in his face. That wasn’t impressive. No. Coaxing a hurricane out of the sea would be impressive. What would everyone think, waking up to the sight of a category 4 on the edge of the coast, only for it to vanish into mist. It would be dangerous. It would be irresponsible. It would be impressive. 

But if all it took for someone as ruggedly handsome as Souma to dole out praise was for a little party trick, Shae wouldn’t complain. They did, however, want to complain about the fact that Souma was resistant to their charms. Still, they kept a good humor about them, because throwing a fit at the first sign or resistance wasn’t attractive at all. Instead, they behaved, removing their foot from Souma’s leg and relaxing back in their chair. 

“A drink sounds lovely, honey,” they purred softly, recrossing their legs as they drummed their nails on the table. “And while you fetch it, I’ll think up my most fantastical true story. I have quite a few of them, if you’ll believe it,” they said with a wink as they adjusted the strap of their dress.

[shaemynamexoxo]

chxshiki‌:

It was Souma’s job to know everything and everyone. Their names, their jobs, their powers. The more he knew, the more he could teach, the more he could make others forget. This, of course, included all the information he could get from the other gangs. Not that it was hard to obtain, of course. None of them were particularly good at being secretive, so when Shae showed up, he felt his body tense up sightly, imperceptible, yet he knew better than to lower his guard around someone specialized in pulling people’s attention from what was important.  

“Shae, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he smiled at them, practiced, serene, with an edge of a threat underlying his tone. “Pardon my reaction. A necessary precaution. Not that I would need it, but it’s better than not having it.” He keeps his eyes on them, hand releasing his gun to wrap around his tea again, pleasant and calm yet attentive, listening to any sudden movements behind him, any changes in the temperature. “And to be quite honest, I wouldn’t mind moving. The weather here is dreadful. Perhaps you could make it a bit colder. Less humid.” A smile, a way of telling them he was aware of their powers. A dance, in a way. A challenge. 

At their words, he actually snorted, shaking his head minutely. “Do you now? Very well, what are you offering, then?”

Shae laughed softly at the flex, but still they allowed a breeze to rustle through the area. Cool, sweet, smelling of sea-salt, but lacking the moisture. If Souma didn’t know who they were, they would be both disappointed and insulted. They hoped he could tell that by the way their eyes shone with mirth as the sticky warmth blanketing them lifted with barely a bat of their eyelash. In another world, they might have blown his chair over, but this was far more interesting. 

At his next inquiry their smile grew a touch sharper as they caught his eyes. “I can listen, although, I doubt you’d want to talk about your business with a rival gang member, with good reason. But I can see that your frustrated. Tired. I think we all are,” they said in a way that could almost be kind. “But if you don’t want to talk to me, maybe I can talk to you. Fill your head with something petty, like how my last dress ripped when I was jumping a fence. A distraction,” they said, before they tilted their head to the side and let their eyes roam across his figure. 

“Or maybe, you’d prefer I didn’t talk at all. I’m quite talented with my hands. And my mouth isn’t really known for talking,” they purred, all mischief and delight as they extended one leg to carefully hook around Souma’s calf. Playing with fire, constantly, well aware that Souma could knock all understanding from their head if they made the wrong move. But the thrill of it had her carefully biting one lip as they watched him with a dark gaze from across the table. “What do you say, sugar?”

[shaemynamexoxo]

Where: Shae and Co. New Apartment

When: a week after they arrive in miami

Who: @chaotic-luca

Shae touched their lips as they looked at where Luca was holding up on half of the tapestry, waiting for their say to nail it into the wall. Which… wasn’t really allowed, but Shae didn’t care, and if Shae didn’t care, Luca probably cared less. 

“I think you can nail it, honey!” They said cheerfully, running up to run their hands along the sparkly galaxy print. “This is so neat, Luca! Florida thrift shops are waaay cooler than Chicago ones,” they said with a grin, before flouncing over to where they had set their cute little pipe on the table and snatched it up.

“Come here if you want a lil! Then we can go to the kitchen!” they said, their eyes twinkling as they carefully lit up and took a rather large hit, one that would’ve made their eyes water if they weren’t, well, Shae.

[elpatronfemenias]

Boss. What an awful little word. Benjamin was supposed to keep the ship afloat and now the responsibility of their people fell on his shoulders. He hated it, not because he didn’t want to protect them, but because he knew he’d be willing to watch the world burn for them, and having that power in his hand, knowing when to use it? Benjamin never taught him that. So here he is, sitting in a shitty bar in the city of Miami. Miami, of all places. He always hated the heat.

What a shitshow. Benjamin dead, Abigail as his second, half the gang clamoring for revenge while the other half just wants to be left in peace. He sighs, takes a sip of his tea, closes his eyes for a second… he can feel a headache coming, pounding behind his eyes, and the steps approaching him form behind only promise to make it worse. 

People only come to him to fix their problems or give him bad new. They never showed up with cocktails, cigarettes or the promise of a long, good nap, surprisingly enough. 

He opens his eyes finally, looking at the newcomer, hand inching ever so slightly down to the gun hiding under his coat - just in case. “What is it now?”

[shaemynamexoxo]

The news of Benjamin’s death by the hand of a Blackburn no less was gossip that sat both delicious and disgusting on the Jem’s tongues. It meant having to leave, but at the same time, Benjamin was such a downer, assassinating a rival gang member at a peace treaty. Shae had just started appreciating his decor when he had done so. 

And now Alma and her gang comes in to strike back? Beautiful work. Poetic in a way. Shae appreciated the balls on them for doing it in broad daylight. Imagine having enough power to evacuate three gangs from a city. Incredible. And now they get to party it up in Miami of all places! God, the night scene was already amazing, and now they didn’t have to sneak around because of curfews. 

So when Shae comes across the new big man on King’s terf, they didn’t feel scared, nervous, skittish- no. That just wasn’t how they operated. In fact, they mostly felt a little thrill of excitement at the threat of a touch of danger from a new boss twitchy from his new responsibilities. So of course Shae decided to approach, their smile teasing and light. Their delighted expression seemed to grow at the way Souma hand edged towards his gun. 

“Easy, honey. Don’t wanna have everyone moving ship so fast after settling down, do we?” they asked, taking a seat across from him without asking and crossing their legs primly, at odds with the unlady like way their beachy dress inched up their thighs. The lounged against the table, the picture of ease even when sitting across from someone Shae knew was supposed to be dangerous, but just looked tired. They pouted a little. 

“You look tired, sugar. You need a pick me up? There are plenty of ways I can help,” they said with a wink as they tossed their hair over one shoulder. 

[shaemynamexoxo]

Where: An Olympic Housing Unit

When: After the last ceremony

Who: Open

Shae’s back hit the wall and they laughed as they threw their arms around their partner’s shoulders. The games went incredibly well. While they hadn’t placed, they had been damn close, and was more than happy with their performance. They knew the hiphop blend might not land with the judges, but they didn’t care. They had had a blast watching the others and exploring Japan, but now things were winding down, and Shae would be damned if they didn’t get a piece of all of the beautiful athletes they had met.

They grin and leaned forward to press a kiss to their jaw, then their neck, and finally their collar bone, before they leaned back again. “I’m as much of an exhibitionist as the next guy, but a hallway seems a bit extreme,” they purred teasingly, even as they contradicted their statement by sliding their foot up the others calf teasingly. 

“Still, if you insist, honey, I’m sure we could make it work,” they said, their eyes flashing with mirth as their hand fiddled with the hem of their partner’s shirt. “But I’d choose fast, before I make the decision myself.”

[shaemynamexoxo]

Where: Hidden Bar

When: February 3rd 10:00pm

Who: Open

The curfew was bullshit. Shae wouldn’t let anyone tell them where they could or couldn’t go at this point in their life. They could feel themselves sneering at the thought of any cop trying to put cuffs on them, and they flipped their hair over their shoulder as they brushed gold highlight on their cheeks. No. They were gonna go out into a seedier club that knew how to party underground and get fucked up.

It was easy to slip inside, past the bouncer with a kiss to his cheek and a pat to his chest. Shae knew how to sweet talk their way into any establishment, but this one wasn’t foreign to them, so they fit right in. It was exhilarating, knowing that they were in the middle of what was slowly turning into a revolution. This hiding was embarrassing, like rats, but they had to believe that soon they wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore. 

But for now, they were more interested in letting loose. They had no idea what the hell went on with that stupid fire, no idea what the hell was going on with the peace treaty, but here they could forget that for a little while in drink and drugs and a warm body.

Speaking of body, they brushed up against someone as they sidled up to the bar. They gave them a once over and a grin. “Fuck the curfew,” they said in greeting as they motioned for the bartender.

[shaemynamexoxo]

replicaticns‌:

“C’mon,” Isaac half-whined, obviously not too bothered by their vagueness, “you’ve gotta be more specific than that.” His words may have fallen on deaf ears, however, as he was pulled towards the music that only got louder and louder, drowning out his voice as they entered the club together, even as he tried to shout over the bass that shook the ground beneath his feet. It was a sign of good times to come, a sign that the fun within these walls simply could not be contained by the structure they were in. Isaac followed Shae’s lead, nearly tripping over his own two still-very-sober feet as they spun him around, resulting in a clumsy few steps over towards the wall they stopped at. He watched them take the sheet from their purse as if he were a child watching them take candy out instead.

He sighed as he snatched the sheet, following the instructions only for the fact that if he didn’t, they probably wouldn’t give him any more tabs for a long while, and Isaac didn’t want to risk that fun, especially when it didn’t exactly cost him anything. He was swift to stick out his tongue and place the tab atop it before pulling it into his mouth, allowing the drugs to dissolve as he waited for them to reach his brain. “You don’t gotta worry about me,” Isaac called over the music, already allowing it to flow through him. However, he couldn’t move as well as Shae had implied he could, dancing with little rhythm but at least committing to his movements.

Shae couldn’t help but laugh at Isaac, the edges of their vision shifting delightfully in the light as their head began to float. Isaac was a funny little dude, who didn’t know how to shake his hips at all, but he had the spirit and Shae knew that was really all they would need to have a good time anyways. 

The reached out and put their hands on his hips, flipping their hair back and pursing their lips as they mimed slapping Isaac’s ass. “Lead with your hip down, not with your knee,” they shouted into his ear, guiding him into a better form, before giggling again and throwing their head back.

“Better show off as much as you want here, because we aren’t gonna be here for long; we’re going to a couple more. You down?” they asked in his ear ass they teasingly slid up behind him and pressed their lips against his ear, their hands still guiding his hips.

[shaemynamexoxo]

tethysimani‌:

The person’s hand curls around Abi’s and she jumps a little, not expecting the touch, definitely not expecting the warmth. Its grounding, like a mug of hot tea pressed to her cheek, and for the first time in a while she takes a deep breath. Their voice is like honey, warm and low, almost oddly soothing in such chaos. For a moment, Abigail is reminded of the stories of her childhood, magical creatures crossing paths in a wood. Good witch or bad witch? It’s a ridiculous thought, being a mutant herself, to imagine this stranger as someone pulled from a fairytale, but the stranger’s soothing demeanor, calling Abigail over when she’d been lost and confused in the chaos, well… it’s not Abigail’s fault she’s not thinking straight. She’d always had an issue with fanciful thoughts.

The person under the lamppost whimpers, and it brings Abigail back to Earth like a slap. She nods, terse, and moves to kneel by the hurt mutant. Their eyes are rolling back in pain, and she puts her hands on the side of their head, cupping their face gently. Not for the first time, she wishes she had Nana’s power, wishes she could do more. But she can’t take the pain out of the person’s head, so she does her best to push in soothing thoughts, gentle strokes at the edges of their mind, murmured lullabies. Someone else’s words showing up in their brain would probably just freak them out more, so she keeps her communication abstract as possible.

The other stranger, the one in the dress, is doing something above them. If Abigail didn’t see them moving in the periphery of her vision, she’d recognize the changes in the air, the sudden weight of it. Of course they’re a mutant, too, with that preternatural warmth of theirs– she almost blushes at the thought, even as she’s unsure why– and thank god for that, because the lamppost is lifting, freeing the pinned stranger in its wake. 

“Okay,” Abi says, sliding her arms the hurt stranger’s upper body, and begins to move them. The white-hot screech of pain blanks her mind for a moment, and oh fuck– she’s still nestled so close to their mind, trying to soothe them, only half paying attention to her own body in the physical world, and the pain makes her stumble. She catches herself just in time, and automatically looks towards the other mutant, grounding herself with their gaze. Abigail jerks her head to the left, ignoring the sweat now beading her forehead, lips pursed against the pain. “I saw an ambulance stationed by the carousel. We could bring them there?”

Shae flipped their hair over their shoulder and pushed a sigh out of their nose. It seemed like the other mutant was stumbling a little bit as the one between them moaned horribly. It made Shae wince, with sympathy, but still, they stayed firm. The nodded once at the other. 

“If you think we can trust them, then yeah. Because they are definitely going to need a hospital, no matter who they are,” they said, ignoring said person, if only because they seemed to delirious with pain to have any input as to wear exactly they were going. 

Shae wasn’t built to carry heavy things, but this was easy for them; carrying their fellow mutants would always be easy for them. It was like they found the strength in nothing at all. Or maybe they found it deep within themselves and dug it out. Made something intangible just that as they determinedly walked forwards against all odds. 

As medics came to their aid as they got closer, Shae made it a point to kiss the side of the injured mutant’s face and pat them on the cheek gently, before handing them over. However, where there were ambulances, there were clearly going to be police, so they quickly took their helpers hand and began tugging her away.

“If there are cops around, we aren’t gonna wanna be near them, trust me,” they explained, an almost excited thrilled expression crossing their face at that. “But if you stick with me, I promise you’ll come out of this alive. Do you need help leaving? Or do you wanna stay and help me look for survivors?” they asked genuinely as they game to a stop in an alleyway, peering around the corner to make sure they were safe to stop.

[shaemynamexoxo]

fightthegods‌:

It is okay. It’s okay. It’s so okay. It’s not okay. It’s not, you’re falling, you have no legs, the floor is a lover — he leans forward too much and he stumbles, scrambles, flails… or he would have if Shae wasn’t holding him. Shae… how do I feel about Shae? The haze is too much right now, but he’s happy they’re there. He’s happy they’re holding onto him, holding him up, even if he wasn’t before. Before, but before was weeks ago and Eoin doesn’t hold grudges.

Well, he does. But often there’s no grudge to hold when the other party is slop on concrete. But they weren’t. Aren’t. They’re here, and they’re cool, and Eoin finds himself leaning into their Northern wind. A sigh. “Shae,” he says again, but clearer now, with more purpose. You know who they are. Their words would’ve made him chuckle if his brain could wrap around the technicalities of how that sound worked. Instead there’s a sharp expelling of air from his nose, a snort. It is his trademark. But his trademark is also fighting back.

Then that name. He doesn’t mind it. Eoin finds pleasant, calming company in Gerrard Bermudez that catches him off guard but one he doesn’t care to reflect on. It’s the silence between them, the laughter when they’re both high, the sound of electricity as another bolt courses through his body.

You like my face; The reply is a grin. It’s very pretty, hides your disgustin’ personality well; What’re you doing here, then? I like trash.

But he needed space. He needs space. He needs to not see that pretty face, the one that hides that monster he’s so enamoured by. So Eoin groans, and his head shakes. “Not right now,” he protests. But there’s tugging and there’s walking and his feet are moving anyway.

Oh yeah. Eoin was higher than a kite. The only relief they felt from that knowledge was that that meant he probably wouldn't completely remember Shae being here at all. Hopefully, they would just be a pleasant stranger that had helped him home, if he remembered at all.

"Yeah, honey, it's me," they confirmed, it only to soothe him somewhat. It seemed that against all odds, Eoin was trusting them. It was a slap in the face after ruminating over his betrayed expression for weeks after the riot. 

Having him so close again, being the thing he leaned against, it was everything they had been looking for when they had asked him to come join them in the fight. They wished he had been there to help them stumble bleeding to safety. It was such a dangerous thing to think, something they hadn't allowed themselves, and they quickly squashed it.

Eoin had kept flashing softness that Gerrard never felt towards them. At least, thats what they knew now; they had convinced themselves of Gerrard's affection, so why wouldn't they also make up Eoin's.

It was ironic that Eoin didn't want to go to Gerrard, because that was the last place Shae wanted to go either. They should make him go home anyways, but the weed and their own weak heart had them asking, "then where do you want to go, sugar?"

[shaemynamexoxo]

fightthegods‌:

Keep reading

NSFW UNDER CUT

As Eoin roughly shoved another finger in and curled, they let out a ragged breath. They were practically melting into the wall, focused completely on the feeling of him inside of them. It was as perfect as it could be. The burn kept their mind sharp, even as it mingled with pleasure and made their heart race.

They knew there would be bruises on their hips later, and the thought had them biting their lip. Yes, now that was something they were looking forward to discovering. But that was a blip compared to the savage way Eoin thrusted into them with very little warning.

It punched a high pitched whine out of them, and their toes curled. It was perfect; too full, unyielding, the pain threatening to overpower the pleasure, but Shae didn't care. They felt alive. 

And of course and explosion had to cause both of their heads to snap towards the alley entrance. They knew they had to wrap this up, and fast, even though they wanted to sit and savor the feeling of him inside of them.

"It's show time baby," they breathed as they straighted up and leaned back into Eoin, delighting in the way he shifted inside of them. They swiveled their hips as they grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his head forward so they could kiss his neck. "We're gonna have to raincheck. Unless you can get off in the next minute," they teased, clenching around him and sighing.

[shaemynamexoxo]

cain-douglas‌:

“You know what the fuck I mean so shut the fuck up,” Cain growls. He can feel his power threading through them, fixing them from the inside out and as it does it takes a little something from him. He’s got to make sure it doesn’t take too much. Cain’s never run empty while healing someone before but he’s come pretty close. He can’t afford to get near either tonight, not in some back alley with Shae still low on blood and the police prowling the streets looking for mutants to pick up and put away like so much unwanted trash.

“Well duh, you’re gonna be watching that movie alone,” he snorts, nudging at their shoulder with his even though it still feels bruised and loose in the socket. “If you’re ever on your deathbed then I’m definitely already dead.”

Already Shae could tell that the bleeding had stopped, and whatever internal damage that had been done was fixed. Cain couldn’t heal blood loss,  but that was okay. Now, Shae knew for a fact they weren’t going to die, and they put a hand on Cain to stop him. “Alright, I think I’m good, sugar. Everything else is superficial. Save yourself,” they said gently.

Before they punched him in the shoulder as hard as they could given how weak they felt. “Now you need to shut up. That was way too sentimental for the fact that both of us are going to live through this,” they said, but they moved to snuggle up to him anyways, patting the place they had punched gently. 

“You’ve got something to eat, right?” they asked, their eyes already shut, as if they were going to nap right there in a pool of their own blood.

[shaemynamexoxo]

fightthegods‌:

He could stand. Any minute now, he’d stand up. Stand up. STAND UP. But his arms tremble, his mind scrambled, and it would be so easy to simply lie down and let that be the end of it. Another mouthful of blood burns into the floor, and it’s messing up his high. There’s a soft voice above his head, breaking the floor’s siren call, the cool hand a welcome reprieve from the way he seems to be burning up.

He groans softly, his face throbbing, his gut aching, reminding him he’s alive. What fucking bullshit. I’m okay. I just need to find my way back to the ends of the Earth and drop myself into the void of space. The words in his head alone take him one step closer to sobriety, and he fucking resents it. Words. How do words work? You take a deep breath. Sweaty hot air fills his lungs and it stays there. You push it out and past your vocal cords. Another groan escapes him. No, that’s not a word, try again.

A breath in, “M'fine,” and another step closer to sobriety. He can feel the stickiness of the floor under his bare palms now, the heaviness of the air around him. The static is familiar, the static is something he’s gotten used to this past month, the electrical scars snaking along his arms, hugging his torso, telling distinct tales. They look like spider webs, like pine leaves fuzzy on his arms and hands, smoothing away freckles. For a moment, he furrows his brows — he wouldn’t, would he?

Eoin finds it in his ability to lift his hand towards the source of the voice; no, he wouldn’t. “Shae?” he groans, recognition flickering in his eyes, but that’s all there is. The anger that blazed in them the last time he saw Shae is absent, as is the hurt that twisted the fury. There’s relief — maybe. “Shae…”

I can stand. I know I can. I will stand. The effort is monumental, but somehow, Eoin manages to put a foot under him and force himself to stand; a testament to the sheer force of will that has kept him alive for this long. But his limbs are trembling dangerously, and his body is swaying perilously, his entire being a far cry from the Eoin Shae knows. Unguarded, unfocused, oblivious; incapable of defending himself. What a goddamn fool.

There are so many questions. What are you doing here? What’s going on? Why are you touching me? Are you okay? He takes a breath in and all he manages is a confused, questioning sound.

Stop it, stop it, stop it. He wasn’t allowed to look at them like that. Like they mattered. It was laughable. Shae should be dead. He would never have known if they weren’t. They should be dead, and he wouldn’t care, because the last time they had spoke, he had been so angry. Their nose gave a phantom ache and they sucked in a sharp breath. He hated them, and they clung to that imagine in their mind as Eoin looked at them with an expression void of most Eoin typically expressions. 

He was high out of his mind. Anyone would look at their savior like that. The let out the breath they took. For right now, they would pretend that night hadn’t happened. For as long as they could get him to Gerrard (and that was a whole other demon wasn’t it) they would put this turbulent, hurt, screaming thing inside of them to rest. Shae smiled sadly. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was all them, but there was a rush of warmth to their eyes, and they shut them to prevent any tears from falling. Steady. Steady. 

When they opened them again, they were as clear as someone who had already smoked half a joint could be, and they continued to place a steady cool hand on the back of his neck. “It’s okay honey. Just got into a bit of a fight. It is your trade-mark, isn’t it sugar?” they asked teasingly. “Let’s get you back to Gerrard’s okay, honey? You just gotta sleep this off,” they said, carefully holding onto the places blood had not splattered in an attempt to help him begin to walk. 

[disasterxsong-blog]

in sorrow comes growth

dated — december 29, 2019 | 11:36 PM located — shae’s apartment with — @shaemynamexoxo status — closed

Bea’s feet carried her without much consideration to how she felt. Her body was exhausted, her mind at it’s limit to what she could take in. Despite this, she continued to walk. Maybe getting out of her room would allow her brain to calm down. Her mind wandered — thinking about the most painful memories she had experienced. It didn’t help to tell herself that everything was okay. It didn’t help to tell herself that the pain was in the past. The pain of the past was the pain of the present, and it threatened to destroy her. It threatened to destroy everything she knew and loved now. Her throat tightened, she wanted to scream. To yell. Bea’s body tensed, and it made her stop walking. She tried to clear her throat, but she knew it wouldn’t work. Once the feeling was there—it was there. Either she’d have to scream—let it out, or fight it and just find a place to pass out so when she would awake the feeling would be gone. If only there was an abandoned area nowhere close to people. If only. Her body wanted her to scream, but she wouldn’t let herself. Swallowing hard, she ignored the tension and began to walk—this time quicker, as if she would explode any minute now. She couldn’t help it now, and tears began to stream down her face quietly. The walk was pointless if she couldn’t do this without breaking down. But, she finally reached her destination. Shae’s apartment building. Wiping away her tears, she composed herself as she made her way to the specific apartment they dwelled in. If anyone could make Bea feel just the tiniest bit better—it would be Shae. Just thinking about their face made her smile a little bit. Bea knocked on the door, crossing her arms and holding herself tightly. Even though she didn’t mind letting Shae see her cry—she didn’t want them to be too worried. This was a passing feeling, and so it would pass. She just needed a distraction.

[shaemynamexoxo]

Lenox had been out of the house on a booty call for about thirty minutes when there was a knock on the door. Shae had been on the couch cuddled up in their PJs with a joint and a movie, waiting to see if they needed to sweep in for a quick get away, but perked up at the door. Shae thought that it would be Lenox, and was ready to open up their arms for a quick pat on the back about the failed hook up, but blinked in surprise when it was actually Bea at the door.

It wasn’t like it was unusual for Bea to be at their apartment; no, far from it. But usually Bea called ahead of time or came when it wasn’t midnight. They cocked their head to the side, a surprised but delighted smile brightening up their face.

“Girl! What! Did you read my mind? Len is out tonight, and I’ve been dying for some company!” they asked as they ushered her inside and pulled her into a tight hug. “Oof, it feels like I haven’t properly seen you in ages, c’mere, let me you, honey,” they cooed, cupping Bea’s face in their hands and tilting her head side to side gently as they pulled back. 

“You okay honey? You don’t usually show up out of nowhere. Need me to zap someone?” they asked teasingly, but with a bite of steel behind it. It came off as a joke, but the look in their eyes seemed to suggest a deadly seriousness.

[shaemynamexoxo]

unknown number: no

unknown number: idk

unknown number: ur frustrating

unknown number: just stop bulldhiting me

shae: this isnt going anywhere

shae: i dont know what more you want me to say

shae: feel better, honey. dont forget to drink water

[shaemynamexoxo]

unknown number: do u want me to fuck off

shae: if i did, i wouldnt have responded

shae: do you want me to fuck off?

[shaemynamexoxo]

unknown number: what happened

shae: i just told you what happened

shae: i tried to get you home and you freaked out and burned me

shae: and during the riot it was just, it just happened, okay?

shae: i got stabbed and was making my peace with it, or whatever because that was a price i was willing to pay to be there

shae: is that honest enough for u?