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TILL DEATH
summary: You ran from your past and ended up in Oceanside. Unfortunately, that’s where you met Pope Cody.
pairings: andrew “pope” cody x afab!reader
warnings: 22.2k words. mature themes. dead dove: do not eat. murder. graphic violence. extreme gore. corpse desecration. dismemberment. body mutilation. body disposal. destruction of human remains. graphic injury detail. gun violence. stabbing. physical assault. drugging. poisoning. evidence cover-up. choking. rough sex. angry sex. hate sex. unprotected p in v. creampie. breeding kink. nipple play. breast play. clitoral stimulation. degradation. d/s dynamics. power imbalance. hair pulling. biting. hickeys. marking. blood play. family dysfunction. ptsd symptoms. stalking tendencies. toxic relationships. prison setting. read responsibly.
note: this fic made me take my time! also if i forgot any warnings that should be here, let me know. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
Life isn’t easy for you, and it never has been. Your emotions are completely all over the place because you either feel everything at once or nothing at all. People call you a crybaby when you let the tears fall, but they call you a bitch the second you shut down and stare right through them. Your family only gave you tough love, and they left you to figure out the hard stuff on your own. They put food on the table, but they never gave you real affection or any useful information, so you had to learn how to take care of yourself. Everything happened because you chose to step up in your own life since nobody else was going to do it for you. You learned how to save up the small allowance and the random pocket money they gave you because you knew they’d never give you everything you needed.
You had to look out for yourself from the very start, while the people around you just watched and treated you like a total time bomb. You learned how to fix your own hair, and you figured out how to dress up without any help. You went through your very first period week entirely alone without anyone checking on you or explaining a single thing. You even had to learn about safe sex and how to avoid getting knocked up young by teaching yourself what to do because no one else cared enough to protect you. You owe everything to yourself because you’re the only person who ever kept you safe. Eventually, teenagers are bound to fall into the wrong crowd and connect with shady people who bring nothing but bad influences around.
You definitely had that phase when your brain wasn’t fully developed yet, and your impulsiveness made you think those bad decisions were totally fine. That lifestyle led you straight toward a terrible situation that left you with a lot of hidden trauma and made you absolutely hate the whole world. You aren’t stupid at all, so you knew exactly when people did you wrong and crossed the line. The pain made you completely furious and feel intense thoughts inside your head, but you’re not stupid enough to act on that anger too quickly. You know not to mess things up by reacting right away, but you know you won’t let them get away with it forever. You actually tried your best to bury the grudge and avoid doing any kind of revenge.
Yet, the damage he left on your life was simply too big to ignore. The memories gave you constant nightmares that messed with your head until it took you years to finally decide that you’d only get true peace if you shut this person down for good. He clearly never forgot you, either, because you two still text occasionally just for formalities since he honestly thinks he didn’t fuck you up at all. It took you a whole month to gather the necessary supplies at the abandoned warehouse where you used to hang out. You bought a meat cleaver and a hunting knife from two different stores. You also stole a shovel and a crowbar from your neighbors' garage. You slowly stockpiled two gallons of muriatic acid along with a big jug of liquid bleach.
You finished the collection by hiding packs of charcoal briquettes, gas, boxes of baking soda, pliers, and plastic bags for the trash. You kept a strict list running inside your mind about exactly what you needed for this day. It’s decided that it would officially be his last day the exact second you felt you had finally gotten everything ready. You went to the abandoned warehouse at 5 pm just to make sure every single detail was perfectly in place. You checked on the grave you dug for him throughout the month, which sat hidden under a piece of rotting plywood so he wouldn’t notice it when he arrived. You reached into your big duffel bag, where the things you need are, and you double-check the crushed benzos you intended to mix right into his drink.
The plan was to slip the drugs in the moment he had too many drinks and stepped away to pee. The last time you were here was just yesterday, and it was also the day you put the knife you’ll use to kill him and the benzos. You pulled out your phone at 6 pm to send him a carefully worded text message. You made yourself sound incredibly worried while typing that you really needed him to meet you at the usual spot. You wore all black that day so that any potential blood splatters wouldn’t show up on your clothes later. You kept the hunting knife stashed in your right pocket while you moved the crushed benzos in your left pocket for easy access. He only sent back a quick thumbs-up emoji before he officially pulled up to the location thirty minutes later.
You pulled out your absolute best acting skills the second he walked through the warehouse doors. You started ranting about some total bullshit drama to make your text message look believable while you offered him a bottle of alcohol. He gladly took the drink from your hands because he didn’t suspect a single thing. It went exactly as you predicted because it didn’t take him fifteen minutes of drinking before he asked if he could piss somewhere around the corner. You let him go while you quickly dumped all the crushed benzos right into his open bottle. You didn’t even care how many pills were in that powder since you just wanted to see if he would die from an overdose or from your own hands. You managed to suppress your massive rage, even as an uncomfortable feeling crept over your skin during this interaction.
You forced yourself to keep hanging out with this absolute piece of shit without letting your face betray you. He was completely stupid enough to finish the rest of the poisoned drink the exact second he walked back over to your side. It took a good amount of time to realize he wouldn’t die from the fucking pills. You sighed when you saw him closing his eyes before he leaned back against the wall. There weren’t any seats around, so you two were just sitting on the dirty ground of the trashed warehouse. You already knew he was weak when he got drunk, but he was completely helpless now that he was heavily drugged. You stood up right away and leaned down close to his face. “You’re fucking dead,” you whispered while staring straight into his glazed eyes.
He barely opened his eyes and mumbled back with a confused expression. “What? Of course I am, I’m fucking drunk,” he muttered as his head dropped down toward his chest. He started rambling total nonsense after that, but you already pulled the hunting knife out of your pocket. “Yeah, so drunk and stupid,” you whispered while tightening your grip on the handle. You previously studied anatomy for a little over a month to find the best spot to put the knife, so you chose the sternocleidomastoid muscle in his neck instead of his chest. You slammed the knife right into the side of his throat without hesitation. He immediately opened his eyes with a betrayed look when his hands reached up to grasp the wound.
He tried to speak, but he only produced a stuttering mess of wet sounds. “Oh, can’t talk now, motherfucker, huh?” you spat while blood stained your black sleeves. The blade went into his flesh again and again until he stopped moving completely. A few extra stabs made absolutely sure he was dead before you finally walked away from his body. You headed over to the other side of the warehouse to grab the edge of the rotting plywood. The board scraped across the floor, and you moved it aside completely to expose the dug-up ground beneath. All the supplies you needed sat right there in your hidden pile. The charcoal briquettes came out first since you wanted to heat up the pit before you burned him.
The briquettes are scattered in the bottom of the open hole, and you lit them one by one until the smoke began rising from the dirt. You pulled a pair of gloves out from your bag before you walked back over to where the corpse lay on the dirt. The arms were the easiest place to grab him, but his dead weight made the task incredibly difficult anyway. The surge of adrenaline kept you working hard and made you drag him closer to his grave. The movement left a long and dark trail of blood staining the soil behind you. “Fucking dead weight,” you muttered as you forced him another foot forward. You stopped for a second to catch your breath right next to his side. “Stupid piece of shit, killing you was easy, but hiding you is the real problem,” you spat while looking down at his face.
You bent down to search through his pockets for his phone, his wallet, and any identification that could trace back to him. The phone went straight into airplane mode for now, so nobody could track the signal to this warehouse. His wallet and the device disappeared into your own pockets to finish cleaning up the evidence. “I’m so glad you’re finally out of my life,” you whispered as you stared down at his bloodied body. You walked back over to your pile of tools to grab the pliers you stole from the garage. You knelt right back down in the dirt before you forced his jaw open with one gloved hand. You clamped it onto his front tooth to start pulling it as if you’re doing dental work. It was an incredibly annoying task because you had to do it one by one.
“Your mouth is absolutely disgusting,” you muttered while wiping the saliva off your wrist. Thankfully, he didn’t even have a full set of thirty-two teeth to worry about tonight. You twisted the pliers back and forth until the first one finally popped out. Determination made you focused on working your way to the next ones. You only managed to rip out five teeth total before you started considering using the crowbar to remove his teeth. You dropped them onto the soil while looking down at the empty gaps in his mouth. You continued popping his teeth out of his mouth until the top and bottom front incisors were completely gone after getting the satisfaction from staring at his fucked up mouth. You moved right along to the canines, which came out much more easily with the pliers.
“At least these aren’t giving me a massive headache,” you muttered as you tossed the pieces onto the dirt beside his head. The task turned incredibly difficult when you finally got to the premolars. You had to force his jaw all the way open with your left hand just to reach into the very back of his mouth. “Open wide, asshole,” you spat while guiding the pliers deeper to yank the stubborn teeth out. He already had some missing premolars, so you only pulled out six of them. You counted the remaining molars and found only eleven, which meant three of his teeth were already gone before tonight. You suddenly slapped his face with the metal pliers because the numbers weren’t adding up properly. “Can’t even have a normal set of teeth, can you?” you muttered as you threw the tool onto the blood-soaked soil.
You quickly counted all the pulled teeth on the ground to make sure you had every single one of them. You scooped the bloody pieces up and hid them away in your pocket because you were in a massive hurry. You reached for the iron crowbar to finish the job, since it was getting very late and you still had a lot of work to do. You started banging the bar straight into his jaw until his lower face was totally unrecognizable. You reach for your tools after you mess up with his face and grab the meat cleaver to do the next thing, which seems very crazy to you. You stood over the corpse and looked down at his body to check exactly where you needed to chop him up. You decided to work on his wrists first so you could get his hands out of the way before doing anything else.
“This is going to take a lot of work,” you muttered while positioning the blade right above the joint. You brought the cleaver down hard against his wrist to slice through the flesh. The blade cut through perfectly in a single swing and sliced his hand instantly. You quickly did the same to the other side before you picked up the two severed hands and placed them aside on the dirt. You worked on the elbows next, but cutting through the joints took much more effort than cutting through the wrists. The cleaver kept getting stuck in the tissue, and the blood kept oozing onto the dirt. You grew incredibly frustrated with how hard it was to do the work because you needed to finish this quickly.
The shoulders proved to be an even bigger annoyance because of the flesh. You slammed the cleaver into his right shoulder joint several times, but the blade wouldn’t go all the way through on its own. You tried to yank the arm after cutting and slamming the cleaver into the joint, but it didn't work. It made you plant your shoe on his chest, because it's so hard to pull and twist the arm to completely separate the joint. “Stop making this harder than it needs to be,” you muttere as you worked it back and forth until the entire limb detached from the torso. You stared down at his smashed face and immediately wanted his head off the body. You swung the cleaver into his neck with anger until the head detached completely from the torso.
You kicked the skull across the dirt while you jumped on it until the nose and broken jaw cracked under your shoes. You finally felt in control because he couldn’t hurt you anymore after what he did. “People will probably think that you’re someone’s child and friend, but so do I,” you whispered while wiping blood off your face. “Mine are terrible, too, but that didn’t give you the right to treat me like garbage,” you spat while staring at the body parts scattered in the dirt. You went to the legs next and sliced through his ankles because they were easy to cut through. You muttered insults at the corpse while you cut the pieces away. The rage inside you made the butchering feel effortless as you aimed the cleaver at his knees. You slashed through the joints in a few fast chops while the blood pooled on the floor.
“Look at you now,” you said as you tossed the detached legs onto the pile. You chopped through the thigh joints to separate the legs from the pelvis completely. You lined up the hands and the feet alongside the head in the dirt where you planned to use the acid. You walked over to the gallon bottle and twisted the plastic cap off before pouring the acid right onto his hands. Your nose scrunched from the strong smell before you shut your eyes tightly for a few seconds. “You deserve this,” you muttered after you looked again at the dissolving flesh, and you dumped more acid over the feet. The acid poured over the flesh made you unable to stand the bad odor for very long, so you threw the arms and legs into the pit quickly.
You paced around when everything you just did started messing with your head. You took a deep breath to get a grip on yourself before walking right back to the pile. You felt zero regret as you tipped the gallon bottle to empty the remaining acid over his face. “Go to hell,” you whispered while the skin melted away. The limbs and the pelvis were already down in the pit. The head, hands, and feet were in the nearby acid puddle. You left those parts alone for now as you looked down at the torso sitting on the ground. You leaned over and shoved your hands against his ribs to roll the deadweight toward the hole. The uneven dirt made it difficult as the skin snagged on rocks. “Move- you- stupid piece of trash,” you growled as you pushed with all your strength.
Your arms trembled from exhaustion, and your muscles ached because he was hard to move. Your anger worsened because he was finding a way to cause you trouble even though he was already dead. You gave another kick to his side until the torso rolled over the edge and dropped down into the pit. You wiped the sweat off your forehead while you looked down at the hole. You let out a ragged breath while staring at the remains, but you left after a minute to pick up the crowbar from the floor again, where you left it earlier. You used it to roll the hands, feet, and head from the puddle into the pit until they dropped down on the torso. You grabbed the remaining acid bottle and poured it over the pile of body parts just to make him more unrecognizable.
You twisted the cap back onto the empty bottle and got a disposable plastic trash bag before you started picking up the trash. You will put it in there, but mostly it’s just the bottles of the acid along with the empty drinks you used earlier. The smell made you gag, but you had no choice except to make it worse because you had to burn his body. You unsealed the one-liter bottle of gas you bought after getting it from the duffel bag of tools you stashed for this day and splashed it over the remains. You stared down into the hole to look at him before you flicked the fire up from the lighter that you also got from the duffel bag, and you threw it into the pit. The flames took over right away and burned everything down there. You started cleaning around the warehouse while the fire crackles from the burning body, and you pour bleach over the exact spot where you killed him.
You scrub the blood trails off the floor until the concrete is completely clean. The empty gas container and the bleach bottle go straight into a trash bag along with your leftover drinks. You drop the cleaver back into your duffel bag next to the knife. The pliers clink against your other stash when you shove it inside, but you just leave the zipper open. Your chest tightened while you stared at the pit because the fire was making the whole warehouse hot. The heat crept up toward the ceiling, and the smell got so bad that your stomach started to turn. Leaving the mess like this isn’t an option, so you reached right back into the open duffel bag to grab the boxes of baking soda. Your eyes watered as you opened them one by one and dumped the powder right down into the pit to get rid of the smell.
You watched the powder cover the mess before you tossed the empty boxes into your disposable trash bag. A tired grunt leaves your mouth when you pull the shovel out from the bottom of the same bag. You didn’t want to spend another second in this place, so you went straight to the containers near the pit to scoop up the dirt you'd kept inside them. Your arms are starting to feel sore as you carry the soil over and dump it down to bury everything. The flames slowly died down as you kept covering the burning remains until you filled them to the top. Sweat rolled down your neck while you worked, but you didn’t stop until the dirt filled the entire hole. The shovel goes right back into the bag, and the plywood is dragged across the warehouse to cover up the hidden spot. You zipped your duffel bag closed and grabbed your disposable trash bag.
Your fingers were shaking because your mind kept looping through everything that happened tonight, but you forced yourself to walk toward the exit without looking back. You pushed the warehouse door open and stepped out into the cold air. You hurried over to your car and threw both bags straight onto the passenger seat. You got behind the wheel and started the engine because you needed to get away from this place right now. The car rolled out of the empty lot while you stared at the road ahead. Those gloves are still covering your hands, and you don’t even think about taking them off yet, because you need to dispose of the evidence first. You watched the empty sidewalk until you finally spotted a public trash can under a streetlamp. You briefly pulled over to the side, got out of the car, and dumped the pliers straight into the bin, then got back behind the wheel.
You drove a few miles down the road before you parked near another dumpster. You stepped out to throw the cleaver into that bin, but you saved the knife for a different stop since you wanted the tools scattered in separate places. A second of silence in the driver's seat let you catch your breath while you used your gloved fingers to pry open the side of his phone. The SIM card came out easily and was tossed out the window into the grass, then you started the engine again. You drove until you were completely away from that part of town so you could get rid of his wallet. You reached inside to pull his identification cards out one by one. Those cards flew out the window at different spots along the empty road. You made sure you didn’t keep anything except the phone, which you'd already broken by stomping on it earlier.
You reached into your pocket with your covered hand to feel the hard shape of his teeth just to make sure they were there. You knew that leaving where you live was your only real option since being anywhere near that empty warehouse meant getting caught. You kept your head down and threw your necessary clothes into a bag the second you drove back to your place. You prayed that your savings would be enough to get you by. You abandoned your place that same night and spent months bouncing from one place to another until you finally ended up in Oceanside. Living there wasn’t easy because the little jobs you get from places aren't enough to keep you alive, but you sold your car to some people on the road just to get easy money that helped you get here to Oceanside.
The locals from the oceanside seemed to know each other, which made it hard to find someone when they already had established relationships with one another. You didn’t know how you were going to blend in with them, but you needed to pull your big girl pants on to at least try for yourself, and it worked out in your favor because you learned how to pick things up on your own. You figured out how to watch people so you could get information on who to avoid around town. You managed to find a shitty job at a local diner that at least paid rent and a meal for a day. Keeping your ears open at work made you realize that the Codys ran almost everything in Oceanside. You knew exactly how to stay out of trouble, but this place was small enough that you were bound to encounter everyone at some point.
You actually met one of them without even realizing who she was at the time because you were working that shift when she walked in. A woman named Julia popped into the diner with her son and sat down at a table. You were the one who went over to hand them their bill for the food they ordered, but they suddenly didn’t have enough cash on them. “Do you have anything at all?” you asked while you watched her struggling to keep her eyes open. She looked completely out of it, but you figured she just wanted to feed her kid. “You can just pay half,” you offered as you tapped your pen against the notepad. The boy quickly dug into his pocket to grab a few crumpled bills. “Here, is this enough?” he asked while he held the money out to you.
Julia immediately grabbed his wrist to push his hand away. “No, J. I’ll take care of it,” she mumbled as she patted his shoulder. You just sighed and nodded because you felt too bad to argue with them. You took whatever cash she handed you, then you walked over to the register where your older coworker was standing. “Do you know them?” you whispered as you organized the receipts in your hand. The woman immediately shook her head while she stepped closer to you. “Stay away from them, that’s Pope Cody’s twin,” she warned as she kept her voice down to avoid other people hearing what she said. You definitely recognized the surname, but you didn’t know who Pope was. “Just let her give you what she has,” she ordered while she started hitting buttons on the machine.
“So she just eats for free around here?” you asked because the math didn’t make sense to you. “It’s not free,” your coworker explained as she printed out a new ticket. “We list what she gets, and Smurf pays the businesses her daughter visits,” she said while she grabbed a separate notebook from under the counter to write down the remaining balance. You just watched her put the book away, and you realized they would keep coming back. Knowing that made you look out for them, so you started claiming their table every time they walked into the diner. You noticed that Julia never actually asked for anything while she just sat there and staring at her coffee mug. “I brought you a little something extra today,” you whispered as you slid a bigger plate onto their table.
You always made sure to sneak them some extra fries or a large slice of pie so they could eat more. The boy usually just nodded at you before he started eating the food. “Thanks for this,” J mumbled while he grabbed a handful of fries. You just smiled and walked back to the counter because you really couldn’t stop your empathy from taking over. What you didn’t know was that Julia didn’t even live with her family anymore. You also had no idea that her twin brother secretly kept tabs on her whenever he could. He always just sat in his truck across the street, and he watched you give his sister free food through the diner windows. Today is different, though, because he waited until Julia and J finally left the parking lot before he left his car to walk through the front door of the diner.
You had no idea who he was when you grabbed your notepad to walk over to his table. “What can I get you?” you asked as you clicked your pen. He just looked at you for a second before he mumbled his order. He wanted a black coffee with a waffle, but he specifically asked for absolutely nothing on it. He didn’t want any syrup or butter on the plate at all. You took his order straight to the kitchen for the cook to make, and you brought the plate back to his booth a few minutes later. His eyes exchanged between you and the food while you placed the dishes on the table, but his gaze quickly went back to your face. You went back behind the counter to let him eat, but ten minutes went by, and the food just sat there untouched like a display.
You tried to ignore him by wiping down the countertops, and you even took an order for a truck driver who just came in for pie. His stare followed you everywhere, no matter what you did in the diner, until you finally got tired of it and walked over to slide into the seat right across from him. “Are you going to eat that or just look at me?” you asked while you crossed your arms over the table. He just blinked at you a few times without looking away. He looked like he didn’t even want to go inside, but he refused to look away from your face. “You help them,” he muttered as he kept his hands on his lap. “What are you even talking about?” you asked as you stared right back at him. You just blinked in total confusion while you tried to figure out how this stranger knew anything about what you did for Julia and J.
“Julia,” he said as he kept his eyes looking to yours. Your brain connected the pieces immediately while your lips parted in surprise. “Oh, Julia,” you whispered while you glanced over your shoulder to make sure none of the other employees were listening. You turned back to him with a frown because you wanted to know how he fit into her life. You felt a surge of panic in your chest because giving away free food could get you fired on the spot. “You aren’t going to tell my manager about that, right?” you whispered while you kept your voice as quiet as possible. He just shook his head slowly, but he didn’t look away from your face. “Who are you anyway?” you asked as you leaned in closer over the table. He picked at the skin around his thumb for a moment before he stared right back at you.
“Her brother,” he stated while his jaw tightened. “Don’t mess with her,” he said as he placed his hands on the table. It sounded like a warning to your ears, but he just stared at you without changing his expression. “She needs the food,” he added while he looked down at the untouched waffle. He stood up from the booth before you could even respond to him. He reached into his pocket to pull out a hundred-dollar bill, and he dropped it right next to the coffee mug. He walked straight out of the diner without looking back at you once. “What the fuck is wrong with that guy?” you muttered as you watched the door close behind him. You picked up the cash from the table while you tried to process the weird interaction because you had no idea you had just met a Cody.
You half-expected him to never show up again after such an encounter, but he proved you wrong the very next week. He waited in his truck until Julia and J finished eating, so he could avoid them until they walked away from the diner before he came inside. He took the same table and sat in the same spot while he stared at you. That behavior became a predictable habit over the next month, where they would come into the diner only once a week, and he never missed a visit. He always ordered the same waffle and black coffee during those first four times, but he didn’t touch a single bite. He also always put a hundred-dollar bill on the table every single time and left. You didn’t feel creeped out by the way he stared at you because you figured he probably just had some issues.
It seemed like he really missed his sister, but something was stopping him from talking to her. You could tell he probably had some mental struggles, but you weren’t about to judge him for being that way. You actually found him intriguing, and you definitely couldn’t criticize anyone anyway, since you literally killed a man in your past. His presence became just another part of your shift by the time the second month started, so you stopped asking for his order since you already knew what he wanted. “The usual waffle and coffee?” you asked as you stood by his table with your notepad. He just gave a small nod and watched your hands while you put the note away. He finally started trying the coffee during his weekly visits after that week, but it took a few more weeks of the same pattern before he actually finished the whole order.
He started trying to make conversation about his family once he got comfortable enough. “Did Julia look like she was doing okay today?” he asked one afternoon while he was cleaning his own table. You wiped the table beside his so you could be close enough to answer him without raising your voice. “She seemed good. She ate everything on her plate,” you said as you gave him a reassuring look. He nodded slowly and looked down at his empty cup. “Did you give her the larger servings today?” he muttered while he adjusted the fork to his liking on the table. “Yeah, I always slip extra onto their plates,” you whispered back while you kept an eye out for your manager. You found the occasional questions really endearing because they showed how much he cared about them despite his behavior.
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His presence became a regular part of your Tuesdays because he always arrived at the same hour. Your question during the last time he went there is about why he didn’t just sit with Julia and J, which made his knuckles turn white around his coffee mug. “It’s complicated,” he croaked while his eyes were focused entirely on the windows. You didn’t push him further after that because the tension in his shoulders told you he’d snap if you kept probing. He left his usual hundred-dollar bill on the table before he departed. The next Tuesday felt completely empty because the table remained vacant for your entire afternoon shift. You wiped the counters twice, and you kept looking toward the front just to see if he was there, but his truck never even arrived.
It’s also the same after that week, and there’s still no sign of him. You’ve actually been looking forward to each Tuesday ever since your first interaction with him, and you can’t help but get completely anxious about disappearances. How can’t you when you started to feel that you needed that persistent attention he always gave you on Tuesday? Not showing up at the diner felt like a rejection. Your skin felt hot and agitated while you worked because you couldn’t stand being worried about things and not knowing what was going on. “Who was that guy in the corner booth every Tuesday?” you asked your coworker while you scrubbed a stubborn stain off the counter. She shrugged as she counted the money in the cashier and looked around before she sighed.
“Oh, that’s Pope. People talk that he’s in prison for armed robbery a few days back,” she said with a lower voice, and she scoffed. You stopped scrubbing and felt your stomach twist because you didn’t expect it at all. Not that you didn’t hear about the shady business the Cody’s ran, because you do. You just thought they would be more careful than that, and you’re stupid for eating what your own words in your head because you’re the one being stupid when you ask people around where the Pope lives. People know them so well that it doesn’t take long before all three people you asked answered the same way. You almost ran like a desperate puppy and stopped at the massive place, and you walked toward the gate because you had to see where he lived.
You stared at the house and wondered if you were doing something stupid, but you didn’t turn back. You walked across the street and paced in front of the locked property for a couple of minutes before finally deciding to knock on the gate. Your knuckles banged against it multiple times until you noticed a small smart doorbell in the wall nearby, and you realized a camera was probably recording your face right now. “Who are you?” a woman’s voice came through the speaker after a short delay. You gripped the edge of the gate tightly while you tried to find the right words. “I’m a friend of Julia,” you yelled back at the device and hoping someone would open up. “She doesn’t live here,” the woman answered through the small speaker with a completely dismissive tone.
You moved closer to the gate while you shook your head. “No, wait, I’m not looking for her,” you shouted because you didn’t want her to hang up on you. “I’m looking for Pope,” you added because you couldn’t leave without answers. “Pope’s not here,” she stated plainly after a short pause. You didn’t want to get turned away, so you kept pushing. “Please, I just want to ask something,” you begged as you stared directly into the small lens. “Sure, honey. Wait outside,” she replied before the connection cut out and left you waiting in the silence for a couple of minutes until the latch finally clicked. The woman opened the gate with a shotgun in her hands, and you immediately stepped back. “Ma’am- I’m not going to do anything! I didn’t do anything wrong!” you panicked while you raised your open hands in the air.
“Are you one of those junkies Julia gets high with?” she asked while her eyes scanned your clothes. You felt insulted because the accusation was completely wrong. “What? No! I’m a waitress, r-remember?” you stuttered while you tried to catch your breath. “You saw me before when you paid for Julia’s balance,” you reminded her, because you hoped she would recognize you. “Sorry, honey. You look just like everyone else to me,” she stated with an indifferent look that immediately hurt your pride. You had to defend yourself because the weapon was aimed right at you. “I only give them food. I swear,” you pleaded while you kept eye contact to show you weren’t lying. “And I served Pope, too,” you whispered while your knees started to shake under the pressure of the barrel pointing at your chest.
“Pope?” she muttered with sudden curiosity as her eyebrows raised slightly. “Yeah, Pope,” you nodded while your hands were up. “He eats at the diner after he watches over Julia and J,” you explained, because you wanted her to understand your connection to him. “I just want to know where he is,” you choked out while you stared at the gun. “In prison,” she answered before she lowered the shotgun. “Come inside,” she ordered before she turned around. You gave a small nod and followed her through the open gate until both of you were in the kitchen. “I don’t know who you are. I hope you understand why I need the precautions,” she said while she put the gun down on a counter. She walked over to the island, where a tray of lasagna was under foil, and scooped a massive portion onto a plate.
She slid it right in front of you, and you felt completely forced to eat it because you didn’t want to anger her after the incident outside. You picked up the fork and took a small bite just to satisfy her. “What’s all the shouting about?” Baz asked as he walked into the room from the hallway. “Baz, this is our guest,” Smurf said as she waved a hand toward you while she leaned against the kitchen counter. You gave your name quickly because his eyes roamed over your face and clothes, as if he were trying to figure you out. “She’s a friend of Pope,” Smurf added before she tapped the edge of your plate. “Pope has friends?” Baz muttered while he raised an eyebrow and leaned his hip against the island. He took a second to study you before he gave a casual nod and strolled out toward the kitchen.
You gripped your fork tightly because the condescending way they talked about him fired up your irritation instantly. “I just want to know where they’re holding him,” you whispered as you stared at the half-eaten lasagna. “Eat your food first, then we can talk about it,” Smurf replied while she pointed a finger at your plate. You take another bite and nod once Baz is completely out of sight. “Why do you want to see him anyway?” Smurf asked while she watched you finish eating. “I want to visit him,” you answered honestly because you didn’t see a reason to lie to his mother. “I didn’t know Pope had a new girl,” she stated, and she tilted her head to gauge your reaction. You felt a prickle of annoyance because she was clearly trying to mess with you.
“I just grew fond of him,” you explained as you pushed the empty plate away. “Let’s trade numbers then,” Smurf suggested before she grabbed her phone from the counter. “You can tell me how he looks whenever you go see him,” she requested as she handed her phone over to you so you could enter yours. You agreed and typed your contact number into her device before you sent yourself a text because it felt like a harmless deal. “I’ll give you two hundred dollars for every single visit,” Smurf said after she pocketed the phone. “You can collect the money at the end of the month as a thank you for looking out for my baby,” she stated before you could even process the offer. “No- no. I don’t want your money,” you protested, and you shook your head because you didn’t want her to think you had an agenda.
“Take it, honey,” Smurf insisted as she stepped closer and patted your arm. “My son is different from other people,” she sighed while her expression softened to look vulnerable. “I’m just really glad he’s finally talking to someone who isn’t one of his brothers,” she murmured before she stepped back to wash her hands in the sink. “What does he do exactly when he comes to the diner?” Smurf asked as she turned off the faucet and leaned against the sink to get an answer from you. You wiped your mouth with a napkin, and you wanted to answer carefully without causing trouble for him. “He usually doesn’t even touch his food; he just sits there and stares at me,” you explained while you played with the edge of your paper napkin.
“Yeah, that sounds just like him,” she murmured as she nodded her head with a look that showed she wasn’t surprised at all. “What does he talk to you about?” she pressed while she walked over to the counter right across from you. You shrugged because you didn’t have much to tell her. “He doesn’t really say anything, he just watches,” you whispered while thoughts spun through your head as you tried to figure out why she wanted to know so much about his habits. Her posture relaxed during the interrogation because she realized you were completely clueless about their family history or any crimes. You didn’t know a single thing about the Codys, but you were clearly drawn to her son, and she looked like she wanted to find a way to use your interest. “Are you new to Oceanside, honey?” Smurf asked while she crossed her arms over her chest. You gripped the edge of the kitchen island because you felt defensive at the sudden intrusion.
“I’ve only been here for a few months,” you muttered as you looked away toward the glass doors leading to the pool to avoid her direct gaze. “Where did you move from?” she questioned while she tilted her head to check your reaction. You kept your mouth shut because a sudden panic made it hard to breathe. You couldn’t tell her that you killed a person back home and left without leaving a single trace behind. You had deleted your online profiles and used only cash for your small diner jobs so that nothing could tie back to you. “It’s okay, honey, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Smurf promised with a soft tone as she gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t trust her kind words because her calculating gaze suggested she was already planning to dig into your past.
Smurf kept her sweet expression because she realized you were a mystery who could be very dangerous or very useful to her. She knew she had to keep a close eye on you since you weren’t family, but she didn’t want to throw you away just yet. If you were crazy enough to show up at her house for her son, then you were compliant enough to visit him and keep his head straight while he was locked up. “His real name is Andrew,” Smurf whispered as she walked over to a drawer to grab a pen and scribble on a small slip of paper. “He’s serving his time over at Folsom State Prison,” she added while she watched you tuck the address safely into your pocket. That slip of paper was the only thing on your mind until Saturday finally came around.
You spent your day off taking a grueling hours long bus ride up to Folsom State Prison, with nothing but your ID and cash in your pocket, because you had already researched the strict visitation rules at home. The shared visiting room was completely packed and deafening with the sound of screaming toddlers. The chatter from other families was loud and made you a little uncomfortable while you waited at a small table. Andrew had no idea you were coming, but your thoughts raced in circles because you two weren’t even friends. The guards finally brought him out, and he stopped in his tracks before glaring because your presence made absolutely no sense to him. “Why are you here?” he demanded when he sat down across from you and glared at you with those hostile hazel eyes.
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” you answered as you scratched at a mark on the table because you didn’t want him to see your hands shaking. He shuffled his feet against the floor and stared down at his own knuckles. The sudden attention made him look like he wanted to crawl right out of his skin. “You shouldn’t have come,” he rasped because he looked completely surprised to see you sitting there. “I don’t even know who the hell you are… you’re not my family. Go back to Oceanside,” he snapped before he abruptly stood up from the plastic chair to signal a guard over. You stood up too after his words made your blood boil at the sudden rejection, and you couldn’t believe he was ending the visit after only five minutes. Yet, you kept showing up every single week like a total leech.
You knew Andrew could easily tell the guards he didn’t want any visitors, but he came out to the visiting room every time. It was incredibly annoying because he’d just sit down and say something mean, and then he’d tell you to go home before he walked right back to his cell. This situation went on for almost two months, and you always arrived at the exact same hour. Andrew actually started looking forward to your visits, even though he treated you like garbage and barely talked to you. He was just being cautious because he didn’t really know you and only recognized you as the waitress who used to serve Julia. He remembered you were always nice to her back then, so he always took his seat at the table for a few minutes before he got all grumpy and told you to get the fuck out.
But then you missed a week, and he got completely disappointed when your usual time passed. He was the type of person who noticed the same things happening immediately, so his head practically boiled with anger when the guard told him there was no visit for him today. He stewed in his cell until the next weekend came around, and he practically marched into the visiting room the second they called his name. “Where were you last week?” he snapped, as he slammed his hands onto the table that caught people's attention, and he just glared right into their eyes. “I had a date,” you answered with a small smirk, because you actually enjoyed messing with him after all his attitude. “You’re a liar,” he growled, while his grip tightened against the edge of the tabletop.
“What? You don’t think a pretty girl like me can get a date?” you asked with a chuckle, because his intense reaction was honestly hilarious. Andrew stopped completely and shut his mouth when your sudden remark caught him entirely off guard. You didn’t let him sit in his confusion for long, but you shrugged your shoulders before taking the fake excuse back. “Relax. I’m messing with you. I had to cover an extra shift at the diner,” you explained, before you stood up from the plastic chair because you wanted to try a completely different approach with him today. You walked over to the vending machines across the crowded room and used some money to buy a burrito along with a bottle of water. You pushed the items right toward his side after you returned to the table.
“Eat something,” you ordered, while you sat back down and watched his reaction closely. Andrew looked totally upset about the missed visit, and his defensive walls came right back up as he stared down at the snack. He glared at the plastic wrapping as if it were absolutely disgusting, because he was completely uncomfortable with your sudden gesture. “I don’t want your charity,” he grunted, and he crossed his arms against his chest. Your own mood was totally ruined by now, so you simply dragged the plastic tray right back to your side of the table. You ripped the wrapper open out of pure irritation and bit into the burrito right in front of his face because you weren’t going to let Smurf’s cash go to waste.
You purposely chewed slowly and stared back at him just to be petty, while the loud chatter of the other families filled the background. Andrew just watched you eat in a completely awkward silence, and he looked entirely thrown off by your stubbornness. He didn’t say another word for the rest of that visit, but you weren’t stupid, and by now you knew he completely lived by having a plan to do the whole day. You spent the next few weeks building on that stubbornness by establishing the exact same pattern every Saturday, because you wanted him to soften up or at least associate you with something familiar. It wasn’t like the vending machine burrito tasted amazing or that he ate it every day, but your consistency slowly worked.
He eventually touched the food because he did the exact same thing with the waffles and coffee you used to serve him. Once he grew comfortable with your weekly visits and expected you on that specific day, he tried to be nicer to you, and he didn’t just stare at it the next time you set down the heated burrito and the water. “You got the tasty one… I mean, good options in the burrito,” he muttered as he reached out and took the food. Andrew had specific habits once he accepted the meal, and you watched him carefully tear open the top seam of the plastic wrapper. He folded the edges down into clean, even cuffs so his thumbs never touched the grease on the tortilla, and then he picked up the water bottle to place it down right in the exact center of the table between the two of you, before he took a single bite.
“Tell me if it’s not hot,” you whispered, while you watched him chew his food. Andrew stopped chewing mid-bite because the center of the burrito was cold, while the ends were completely hot. He didn’t say a single word to complain, but he laid the tortilla back down on the wrapper. He stared at the cold spot with a locked jaw because he absolutely hated it when his food wasn’t hot throughout, and he refused to finish the rest of the meal. “Do you want me to go heat up a new one instead?” you asked when you pointed at the abandoned food on the table. Andrew just shook his head instantly, but he didn’t offer any explanation for his rejection. You sighed and reached across the plastic tray to grab the wrapper yourself, because you weren’t about to waste the money.
“Fine, I’ll just eat it then,” you muttered, as you took a bite of the cold middle part of the tortilla. Andrew watched your face for a few seconds before his eyes dropped toward his hands. “How’s Julia doing?” he asked, while his fingers tapped a quick pattern against the laminate surface. You let out a breath and shook your head, because you really didn’t want to get into that whole situation today. Andrew squinted his eyes and leaned forward slightly. “What?” he snapped, after your visual avoidance made him impatient. You chewed your food quickly and swallowed it before you gave him the bad news. “I haven’t seen her for three weeks now, and I think she’s really struggling out there,” you explained, while you watched his posture change.
Andrew twitched his mouth in response, but he didn’t say a single word about her. “How are you doing anyway? Is prison tolerable, or is someone beating you up in here?” you asked, as you leaned your elbows on the table to get a closer look at him. Andrew stared back at you with a completely confused expression on his face when your protective question made him feel like you were treating him like a little boy. Andrew narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter, as if he wanted to remind you that he could easily fight his own battles. Yet, he still expected you to show up every single week after that, and those weekly updates became the exact reason Smurf kept paying you cash for every single update you brought back to her.
Collecting that money meant stopping by the Cody house on Monday nights because you had work during the day, and you usually just walked right through the unlocked front door, but you picked the absolute worst day to skip knocking. The kitchen was completely empty when you stepped inside, but you heard muffled movements. You walked a little further into the house and stopped when you found Smurf, Baz, Deran, and Craig standing in the living room around a fresh, dead body on the floor. Your immediate instinct was to turn around and run back to your car, but Craig looked up and spotted you before you could even take a step backward. The entire room went totally silent, and the boys stared at you because your sudden arrival caught them completely off guard.
“Great, now we have another fucking problem to deal with,” Craig snapped, as he turned his head toward Smurf with a tense posture. Deran gave you a quick look that showed a bit of empathy, since the two of you had grown kind of close during your weekly visits, but Baz stepped in front of the body to block your view. “She can’t leave this house,” Baz muttered, while his hand rested near his waistband. “I-I won’t say anything, I didn’t see a single thing,” you stammered out quickly while your panic kicked in, but you tried hard to keep your expression neutral. Smurf stepped forward with a warm smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all, while she looked you up and down. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re always dropping by at the most interesting times,” Smurf said softly, while she rubbed a hand over Craig’s shoulder to calm him down.
You didn’t want her to think you were weak or a liability, so you never looked away from her as you held your ground. “I know exactly what a corpse looks like,” you stated firmly, because you wanted them to understand that you weren’t going to pass out or scream. You needed to save your own skin and prove your utility right now, so you kept talking before they could make a decision about you. “I can help you get rid of it, and I know exactly how to clean up blood without leaving a trace,” you pitched desperately, while your hand pointed toward the mess on the floor. Smurf studied your face for a long moment, because your lack of a panicked reaction told her everything she needed to know.
She already ran a background check on you weeks ago. She found out you were a missing person with absolutely no digital footprint, but seeing you offer to scrub up blood confirmed her theory that you either stole something massive or killed someone back home. You were broken and dangerous, but you were also the perfect tool to keep Andrew stable and give her leverage. “Alright, you can help us,” Smurf said, after she pointed a finger directly at your chest to establish the rules. “Craig and Baz are taking the body, but you’re sleeping right here under my roof with me and Deran on cleaning duty,” Smurf added when she decided to keep you within arm’s reach. The boys unrolled a piece of plastic on the floor and prepared to wrap up the mess.
“Make sure he turns into a total John Doe before you bury him,” you whispered, as you watched Baz grab the shoulders of the corpse. You stepped closer to the group because your mind went straight into survival mode. “Destroy the teeth and get rid of the thumbprints first, because that’s the easiest way for cops to identify,” you explained, while the boys stopped what they were doing to stare at you in surprise. Craig let out a breath and looked up at Smurf for confirmation, but she just gave a slow nod because your resourcefulness proved exactly how valuable you were going to be to her family. Craig and Baz carried the wrapped body out through the back door after they finished taping up the plastic.
You immediately went to work on the living room floor, and you wanted to get rid of every trace before the stains could set into the surface. Deran fetched the cleaning supplies from the laundry room, as Smurf watched from the armchair to ensure you kept your word. You dumped bleach over the blood and scrubbed the floor until your arms felt tired, but you didn’t stop until the chemical smell filled the entire house. “The decorations near the corner need to go in the trash too,” Deran muttered, while he tossed a bunch of stained items into a black garbage bag. You rinsed your sponge in the bucket because you wanted to make sure you didn’t miss a single spot. “We already took care of it,” you replied softly, as you wiped down the bottom of the coffee table to erase the last of the mess. Smurf nodded in approval from her spot and smiled when she saw the room completely clean.
That approval kept you tied to the family over the following months, because she asked you to come over to the house all the time, and being around them constantly made it feel like you had just hidden that body yesterday. The frequent visits gave you real information to share when you went back to Folsom to see Andrew. He sat across from you at the metal table, while his fingers picked at a seam on his jumpsuit. “Julia staying out of trouble?” he asked bluntly, as he stared down at his own lap without looking at you. You gave him a small nod because you wanted to keep him calm. “She’s getting by, Pope,” you answered quietly, while you watched his leg bounce up and down under the table.
He didn’t acknowledge your reply, but he adjust himself in the chair. “Smurf keeping Baz busy with work?” He muttered before he leaned forward with an awkward tilt of his head. You nodded again, because you had to hide the fact that Baz and Craig had just dumped a dead guy a while back. “They’re managing the business just like always,” you said casually, as you leaned your elbows on the surface between you. He blinked a few times and stared at the wall behind you before he leaned in a little closer. “Did you see Catherine? Does she look good?” Andrew whispered, while his breathing got a little faster. You didn’t think much of the sudden change, because he always asked about everyone in order. “Yeah, I saw her at the house last week, and she looked totally fine,” you shared easily, as you watched his fingers grip the edge of the table.
“How is Lena handling school?” He added, after his hand moved to scratch at his neck in a repetitive motion. You kept your face perfectly neutral, since you just wanted to give him a regular update on his family. “She has everything she needs,” you assured him when you reached across the table to tap his arm to stop him. He dropped his hand away from his neck and let it rest against his lap. “Baz has to take care of them,” Andrew said firmly, while his eyes drifted back down to touch the fabric of his jumpsuit. You just listened to him ask things like he always did during these visits, but your next visit to the visitation room didn’t start with you talking to Andrew first, because a guard started a conversation with you first.
He strolled over to your spot when he saw you checking the clock. “You here for Cody?” the guard asked, as he rested his hands on his belt. You looked up at him, and you gave a nod before he spoke again. “You must be Catherine, the wife he keeps bragging about,” he muttered, and he nodded toward the chair across from you. “Pope doesn’t ever shut up about you during the block rotations,” he added, before he stepped back to give you some space. Hearing the guard mistake you for Baz’s partner left you completely baffled and angry. The piece of information forced your mind back to every previous visit, because Andrew never forgot to ask about Catherine. You used to think he just wanted regular updates on the family, but the guard’s words painted a completely different picture. It seemed like he actually wanted Baz’s wife.
You wanted to know exactly what kind of stories he spread in this place, so you hid your reaction to keep the conversation going. “Yeah, that’s me,” you lied, and you placed your hands on the surface. You needed to hear what Andrew said about Baz’s wife, so you tilted your head up to keep the guard engaged. “What does he say about me?” you asked softly, while you watched him glance toward the desk. The guard shrugged and looked at your face. “Just stuff about how you look, and how much he needs to get back to you,” the guard explained, before he walked back to his post. You dropped your hands from the surface into your lap, and your fingers balled into fists under the table after he spoke.
You stared at the chair across from you, and you didn’t even notice how dry your throat felt, because the whole situation made you feel sick. Why the fuck was Andrew talking about her when she never even showed up at this prison? Catherine wasn’t the one here for him. You were the only one who helped him, and you were the one sitting in this room. You exhaled through your nose to keep your temper in check because what you just heard pissed you off. You swore that you would find out what he was playing at when they brought him through those doors, but you didn’t have to wait long after the guard walked back to his post, because the door clicked open and Andrew shuffled out into the room. He watched you from across the room when he walked over to your table, but he pulled out the chair across from you without making any noise.
You offered him a smile as he sat down. “Hey,” you murmured softly, and your hand reached across the surface to touch the edge of his sleeve. “Did you want me to get you some food from the vending machines?” you asked, since you wanted to see if he’d look up at you. Andrew just stared down down at his knuckles, and he shook his head right away. “I’m not hungry,” he muttered, and he adjusted his posture against the chair. He didn’t say a thank you, but he looked at you, and his concern for the family took over before you could even start a normal conversation. He needed to know how everyone was doing back at the house, but it all made sense now why he always asked about those same two people, after knowing that he told people inside the prison that Catherine was his wife.
Andrew knew you weren’t lying to his questions, because you were hanging around the property, and he knew that because Smurf told him during a prison call that she took a liking to you after you met. She claimed she let you hang around because you always visited him, but you knew Smurf lied to him. She would never tell her son that you actually became closer to the family because of the murder. You didn’t let your anger show, but you decided to change how you handled his intense curiosity about Baz and Catherine during the visits that followed. The next week, you sat in the same spot, and you pretended to be your usual self when he brought her up. “They look totally happy together,” you lied smoothly, and you watched his fingers twitch against the table.
“I think Catherine’s trying to bring Lena into Smurf’s house more often, even though they don’t have a good relationship,” you added, before you leaned in to watch his reaction. Andrew didn’t say anything, but his jaw clenched, and he looked away for a second. You rubbed it in even more when he asked for another update the week after that. “Baz was talking about how much he loves his family,” you whispered, while you kept looking at him to see how he took it. You liked poking at his sore spots about Catherine just to make him stop asking about her, so you always lie after another, and your next visit is no different. “I think Catherine’s glowing lately,” you implied, with a small nod to suggest a pregnancy without saying the word.
His reactions to your answers never failed to make you satisfied, especially when he always looked tense, and he looked completely miserable after hearing your words. You swore to yourself that you’d keep changing the updates every single week, until he finally stopped asking about Baz’s wife. But you were glad that he actually started telling you about the prison lately, even though you were being petty and an asshole every time he asked about Catherine. He never talked about himself before, but now he shared actual details of his day. He made sure to describe the loud fights on the block or mutter about his deep hatred for sleeping there. Andrew trusted you because you were the only person who kept showing up for him week after week, and that consistency finally paid off.
You even mentioned the location where you live during one of those conversations, because you were complaining about the place and how awful the landlord was. “You should visit me there once you get out,” you joked with a laugh, and you watched him listen closely to the description of the building. He didn’t say he would come by, but he remembered every word about the place, and it felt good knowing you were someone he never expected to have by his side while he was stuck inside the prison. But, you never thought to this day that he would actually take the invitation seriously. He had good timing, because you took a sick day leave from work since it wasn’t Saturday, and you were just resting inside your home when you heard loud knock coming from the door.
You walked over to open it because you expected your landlord or a neighbor who needed something, but your eyes widened when you saw who was on the other side. Andrew was standing right there in front of you. He looked disheveled in his wrinkled clothes, and he held his small prison-issued property bag in one hand. You stared at him in shock, since he never told you he'd gotten an early release during your weekly visits, and he'd kept the entire thing a secret from everyone. He didn’t call Smurf or his brothers about the news, so nobody else knew he was out. “Pope?” you whispered, and your hand froze on the edge of the doorframe, because your head spun at his sudden appearance. Andrew didn’t say anything right away, but he looked you straight in the eye, and he stood there awkwardly in the doorway.
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” he muttered, and his fingers tightened on the property bag against his hip. You stepped back to let him inside, because he looked lost out there in front of your door. He looked around the room like he wanted to memorize every corner, but he actually remembered your joke about him visiting after all those months. It felt surreal to see him standing in your space, after all the time spent inside that prison visiting room. You backed away from the entrance to give him room, and he walked into your place before you finally shut the door. You guided him over to the couch by his sleeve, and he sat down on the cushion with his property bag placed in his lap.
You stood right in front of him with a genuine relief filled your chest, because he wanted to go to a place, or at least thought about you, when he had nowhere else to turn to. You feel a little confused, though, about why he avoided his own family entirely after getting out. “Why didn’t you go see Smurf first?” you asked, while you looked down at his hair, because you wanted to understand his choice. Andrew shook his head instantly, and he stared down at his shoes for a few seconds before he looked back at you. “They’re just gonna smother me with questions,” he muttered, and he seemed overwhelmed by the idea of dealing with his brothers today. “I just wanted to see you for a minute,” he added, and he his eyes meets yours.
“I’ll go find them later,” he explained, and he leaned back against the cushions, and he seemed to find comfort in your place. You nodded slowly, and you crossed your arms after his honesty caught you off guard. “You can live here if you need a place, okay? As long as you need,” you replied, and a small smile formed on your face when you realized he trusted you more than anyone else. Andrew took that offer literally, but he didn’t actually sleep at your place. He just showed up out of the blue because he barely slept at all, and he usually spent the night sitting on your couch watching TV. Sometimes you caught him watching you sleep, but you just closed your eyes again, because you knew he didn’t rest easily, and you wanted to act like it didn’t bother you.
This set up lasted for a while, where he split his time between your place and Smurf’s house. You eventually learned that the day he went over to the Cody house after his release was the exact same day he saw J in person, because Julia died. Andrew had panicked, and he ran straight to your workplace, before he stood there completely silent until your shift was over. He waited until both of you were back inside your home before he finally explained the situation. You also found out about his complicated feelings for Cath when you accidentally overheard them talking during a party at Smurf’s house. You actually discovered his obsession with her way back when you visited him in prison, but you honestly thought he stopped feeling that way, because you were the one who always showed up for him while he was behind bars.
Hearing them together made you realize those attachments didn’t just disappear. You didn’t feel threatened by his attachment to her, but the situation bothered you enough to start a burning rage in your stomach. Cath pushed him away immediately after that conversation, and her rejection actually made you happy when Andrew turned to you for support. He showed up much more often to seek a quiet place and peace of mind. You brushed his hand when he ranted about how Smurf hated Cath, and you secretly loved that Smurf despised her. It ruined his chances of seeing Lena often, but it kept him coming back to your door. You tried offering comforting words to ease his irritation, but you never really knew whether he was really listening to you. What actually surprised you was one of your conversations that made you two a little more vulnerable with each other.
“You shouldn’t be helping me. I’m not a good person,” Andrew muttered, before he stared at his knuckles, and he looked up at your face. “It’s nothing that I can’t handle, since I’ve been hurt by worse before,” you whispered, and you squeezed his knuckles to keep his attention on you. He leaned closer to your face after you admitted those details from your past. “Who did that to you?” Andrew asked, and he gripped your wrist protectively when his face darkened. “That’s been taken care of,” you replied, while you held his gaze to reassure him. “Taken care of?” Andrew repeated, and he narrowed his eyes when he didn’t understand your meaning. “It just means he won’t ever hurt anyone again,” you murmured, and you leaned forward to kiss his cheek before he could ask more questions. Andrew didn’t say the realization out loud, but he stopped watching your movements when he finally understood that the person from your past was dead.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ──────────
Andrew opened up to you during a hard time, and honestly, you somehow became his therapist a little with all the listening you do, but Smurf’s control over him ran much deeper, because she’s his mother. That’s why he never mentioned a word about her telling him that Cath is talking to the police against their family, and the only thing Andrew believed in was protecting them at all costs. That’s also why you didn’t expect his late-night phone call telling you to come to Baz’s house immediately. You walked straight inside, because they left the front door completely unlocked, and you entered the bedroom, before you stopped at the sight of him completely naked, while he wrapped up Cath’s dead body in sheets.
“What the fuck happened?” you curse out, and you realize it’s the second time you’ve become an accessory to a murder by the Codys. Andrew looked like he’d break down completely right in front of you. “S-she made me do it… Smurf said- She said she’s going to talk to the cops,” Andrew whispered, and his voice cracked. “I-I didn’t want to go back to prison,” Andrew adds m, and his fingers twitched at his sides from the stress. You took a deep breath to calm yourself, because you sure knew as hell that killing someone is going to land him back in a cell, but you didn’t say that out loud. A burning anger filled your stomach as you stared at the bed. “You fucked her,” you said, and you laughed completely without humor, when the truth made your chest tighten.
“You actually killed her while you’re having sex with her?” you demanded, and you stepped closer to him. “You had your hands all over her,” you said, and you dug your fingernails into the palms of your hands. “Were you inside her when you choked her, or did you wait until you finished?” you snapped, and the disgust made your voice shake. Andrew avoided your eyes as he breathed raggedly, and he pulled at his hair with frustration. “I had to find a way to get close to her,” Andrew mumbled, before you cut him off. “Shut up,” you whispered fiercely, and you shoved his chest to stop his excuses. “Just shut up and dress up, so you can clean your mess,” you ordered, and you pointed at Cath.
You looked around the messy room, but you kept your voice quiet for the kid down the hall. “What do you want me to do?” you asked, after you took another look at him. “Watch Lena, because Baz won’t be back tonight,” Andrew answered, and he fumbled blindly with his shirt when his hands trembled too much to guide the fabric. You placed your hand on his chest to force him to listen to you. “I don’t see a thing,” you whispered, as you felt his chest thumping hard against your palm. “I wasn’t here, so clean this up,” you added, before you walked out of the room to check on the child. You watched over Lena until he returned to the house later that night, and you went straight back to your apartment afterward.
The entire nightmare kept your mind racing for hours, and it didn’t let you sleep a single wink, but what's worse is that everything that happened didn’t end in that bedroom, because everything turned completely messed up after Cath disappeared. The first few days without her were brutal for Andrew, while Baz fell apart and started neglecting Lena. Smurf made sure it looked like Cath just packed up and ran away from them, because she wanted the family to think she was an informant. Only Smurf and Andrew knew the actual truth, but now you are carrying that burden too. Yet, the family business didn’t stop just because she disappeared, and you weren’t stupid about how things worked.
Andrew had small slip-ups when he spoke to you, and you pieced it together until you understood the full picture. That’s why Lena was left needing a place to sleep for the night when a new job came up, and all the Codys had to leave for the night. Smurf always called you after your shift ended, and she invited you over to the house to watch the kid. You only agreed to do it to help out with Lena, but this evening is different from the rest. You waited until the little girl went to sleep before you finally confronted the older woman in the kitchen. “Did you make him do it?” you whispered, as you stood by the counter, and you gripped the edge of it just to help yourself to be still respectful. Smurf didn’t admit to a single thing, but she looked right back at you without an ounce of regret for her plan.
“Well, I have to look out for my boys, don’t I?” Smurf asked, while she poured herself a drink, and she didn’t show a single bit of guilt for what happened to Cath. It wasn’t hard to understand the idea she planted in your head, because protecting your own never felt complicated to you. You know that the tension within the family never really stopped after Cath’ being gone and it doesn’t help you that Smurf showed up at your place unexpectedly one evening, but she only did it to discuss the ongoing trouble with Baz. You assumed the issue was just the way he neglected Lena, since Andrew spent most of his days watching over the little girl anyway. You didn’t fully understand why she chose to confide all of this in you, but your deep attachment to Andrew made you completely vulnerable in her eyes.
“Baz stole from us,” Smurf stated, as she stood by your kitchen counter to watch your face for an immediate reaction. “He took eight million in cash and jewelry,” she added, to reveal the full scale of the theft. You stared directly back at her because the number didn’t make any sense in your head. “Eight million?” you asked, and you leaned against the edge of the table to process everything. “Isn’t he basically your son?” you added, when the reality of the situation made your stomach twist. Smurf completely ignored your question about her relationship with Baz, because she had a different goal in mind. “I’m terrified for my boys, especially Andrew,” Smurf explained, and she maintained eye contact to make you feel how concerning the situation is.
She paused briefly before she continued. “He needs a stable life after spending so many years in prison,” she added, to justify her fear. You just gave her a nod because you cared about Andrew’s safety too much to ignore what Baz did. “I always tell you that I protect my family,” Smurf murmured, to remind you what she’s willing to do. She stopped to let everything sink in before she spoke again. “But I’m truly frightened about what happens if Andrew finds out,” she whispered, to emphasize her words. You listened quietly, and you knew how fragile Andrew’s mental state could be. “Find out what?” you asked, and you bit the inside of your cheek. “He’ll find out exactly what his brother did to this family,” Smurf answered, and she shook her head with a look of exhaustion.
“Andrew breaks so easily when people betray him, and you wouldn’t want him hurt,” Smurf added, while she played directly on your protective instincts. “No… I- I don’t want anyone hurting him,” you stuttered, as you crossed your arms over your chest. The older woman nodded slowly, and she knew she could successfully control you through playing with your feelings about Andrew. “I think Baz already knows that Andrew’s the reason Cath disappeared,” Smurf whispered, and she watched the horrified reaction from the sudden realization. A sudden panic filled your mind because Andrew couldn’t survive another prison sentence. “Andrew can’t go back to jail, you know that. He absolutely can’t die if Baz decides to seek revenge next,” Smurf warned, and her tone grew completely serious.
You didn’t even stop to analyze if she’s fucking with your head, because your protective instincts took total control over your brain. “What do we need to do?” you demanded, and you stepped right up to her to show your loyalty. Smurf didn’t offer an explanation or an actual choice because she simply expected total obedience from you. “I need you to take care of this problem for us,” Smurf commanded, before she reached into her handbag to pull out a gun. Her words infected your mind after that, and you buried yourself in coffee and double shifts at the diner, before they could spread any further. You didn’t just plan to shoot Baz right then and there, because a thing like that needed to be planned out properly.
It made you tag along more with Andrew when he’s taking care of Lena to check Baz’s place, and you spent hours working out how you could possibly do it without getting caught or killed. He's still a man after all, and you have to think about the strength difference if he caught you, but you also had Lena to consider in the situation. You had to do it when she wasn’t in the house. Smurf already told you that the gun wouldn’t trace back to you, and she promised the bullets would shatter on impact. She offered you fifty grand because you were friends with Pope, but you didn’t accept it because it wasn’t a job for you. The whole thing felt personal, and you were willing to go to any lengths for him. Andrew walked into your kitchen later that evening, and he stood right behind you without making a sound.
“You didn’t answer my texts,” he muttered when he pressed his chest near your back, because he absolutely hated when you ignored him. You wiped down the exact same spot on the tiles again, just to give yourself something to do. “I’m sorry… My shifts at the diner ran late,” you answered, and you threw the dirty rag into the sink. He didn’t move away, but he just leaned in closer, until his breath warmed your shoulder. “Smurf said you talked to her,” he whispered, while he watched you from right behind your ear. You swallowed hard because you couldn’t let him find out what you were planning for his family. “We just talked about Lena,” you lied, and licked your lip just to support yourself from taking a deep breath, since he’s too close.
He always did this kind of thing, where he invaded your personal space and then acted like he never did it at all. His hand brushed your hip for a second, and his knee kept touching behind your knee, while he talked like he didn’t even notice it. “Aren’t you supposed to be at your house tonight?” you asked him when you looked over your shoulder to remind him of his schedule. You disguised the question as the exact topic Smurf brought up earlier, since Andrew had to watch Lena tonight, after Baz left her there for errands. It’s the same night you plan to kill Baz, so you need Pope out of your place tonight, before you lose your mind and back out of everything. He gripped your waist before he took a step back from you.
“I just want to know what you talked about with Smurf,” Pope muttered, and he knows that she never came to your place for no reason. You smiled at him before you made up an excuse why he needed to leave right away. “I actually have a guy coming over in a little bit,” you lied, then you forced out a chuckle like it wasn’t a big deal. He didn’t take the bait immediately, since he never saw you with a guy before, and the comment visibly threw him off. He looked bothered for a second, but he simply nodded. “Okay,” Andrew whispered, and he kept looking at you like he was trying to figure out if you were lying to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Pope,” you said, as you grabbed his arm to walk him straight to the door, before he could ask more questions.
You pushed him out into the hallway and secured the door after he left, and then you started pacing around the room. You tried not to think too hard about what you’re about to do tonight, but you kept checking the clock. You also checked your phone every few minutes, even though no one had texted you. You kept debating whether to do it because a massive panic was clouding your mind. If you back out now, then someone else will take the job, and you already know who ordered it. You feel terrified that if you don’t go through with it tonight, Smurf will just kill you too, because you know too much already. But pacing around benefits you to suddenly have a fuck-it moment, before you change your clothes into a black hoodie, so it will be harder to identify you later if anyone saw you.
It comes with plain black pants and shoes that wouldn’t stand out, but you also have a cap with no design that people could possibly remember. You kept the gun hidden in the waistband of your pants and walked with your head down while taking the route you already memorized. You chose that specific path because you learned which places had CCTV cameras along the route from your place to Baz’s house. You made sure to enter from the back, where it was darker, so nobody noticed you sneaking around, because entering from the front is dangerous for you. You saw that Baz was just about to leave with Lucy, and they were just talking inside the car, when you stood in front of it to start shooting right through the glass.
You were no expert, and your hands shook the whole time, but you managed to shoot him four times in his chest before he tried to run after you. Baz never screamed or even said anything when the bullets went through him. That made everything feel worse, because the only sounds around you were the gunshots going off one after another, and your own breathing when you finally turned around to run. He collapsed on the ground before he could catch you, because the gunshots made him weak. Lucy was in shock but not screaming, and you were already running for your life. He tried to shoot you back while you ran, but the bullet never fully touched you. It only grazed your side, but it was painful enough to make you bleed, and the adrenaline helped you run harder.
Your first instinct was to run straight back to your place, even though you knew it was stupid. Your plan was supposed to involve rerouting somewhere public, like a bar, so that you would have an alibi. Getting shot changed everything, though, because you couldn’t go to a hospital. You were hiding, and you were basically considered a missing person anyway, so a medical visit would alert the authorities that you’ve been found. You bled and panicked while your brain went through every single what-if scenario. You worried if the graze is something they can catch, that it’s from a gun, or if the police would get involved immediately if you decided to go to the hospital. You abandoned the thought of running to Smurf, because your safety didn’t exist there, so you headed toward your own place, even though that’s the dumbest idea you have right now.
You could hear the gunshots, even though the neighborhood houses were entirely silent, and it messes with your head because part of you knows they already stopped, but your body still reacts like they’re right behind you. It’s like you’re having a mental breakdown from it, and it just makes you doubt your own senses. How could someone just pull the trigger, and then there’s nothing after that but silence? It’s making you crazy, and you’re not even like this the first time you did it. His dying face keeps popping in your head the entire time you run without stopping, and you hate how clear it is, like your brain is refusing to take it out. You just let your feet guide you back until you reach your place, but your fingers tremble so badly that finding the keys under the mat takes forever.
This frustrates you to the point that you think someone is standing right behind your shoulder, but it is completely empty when you look back, and it almost makes you feel shit because nothing is actually there. You turned the lock fast when you got inside, then you immediately slammed your back against the wood because your legs felt so tired from running, and you realized you had been holding your breath the entire time without noticing. You yanked the hoodie over your head and stepped out of your shoes, but there’s a small tear where the graze is, and blood from the wound sticks to the hoodie. You stared down at the wound without feeling any panic, because you literally looked at how bad it is, and how fast it will heal, like it refuses to accept what just happened fully.
You can tell that the damage is something you can tolerate and manage after you touch the area directly, and the pain makes you flinch. The pain snapped back at reality, since you realized you could walk fine, and you just needed to clean it up fast, as if you could erase what happened. A hospital visit was out of the question, since you weren’t stupid enough to walk into an emergency room while living as a missing person, and that means you are completely on your own. Your thoughts keep returning to the CCTV cameras, and you picture the car's glass shattering as Lucy watches it all unfold. The fact that Baz never made a sound replays in your head until silence starts replaying louder than the actual gunshots.
Your thoughts started piling up instead of calming down, which showed that you needed a distraction before you completely lost it. You paced across the floorboards while wearing nothing but your bra and pants. The blood keeps dripping from your wound, and every step feels like you’re trying to outrun what you just did. Leaving the apartment risked being seen by neighbors, but waiting here meant risking the police arriving, and neither option is ideal. Nothing felt right, but being here felt worse, and your feet kept walking around anyway. You refused to dial Andrew’s number out of terror that he would discover the truth, but the longer you avoid it, the more your body refuses to stop moving, so you keep pacing around your place.
You don’t even know that it’s been over an hour since you left the strand, but you couldn’t care less about it, or the fact that you’re half naked in just your bra and pants. Your hand reaches into your pocket to check your phone again, even though nobody has called, and the wound on your shoulder hurts without you doing anything bad to it. The only thing that made you stop right in the middle of the room was a sudden three loud bangs on your front door that made your breath catch. “Open up,” Andrew orders from the other side, and you can hear his voice through the door. You don’t take a step because he isn’t supposed to know anything, and he definitely isn’t supposed to be outside your place right now. “I know it was you, so just open the door,” Andrew snaps after you don’t answer right away, but then he bangs on the door again with his fist.
You press your palms against your sides to keep your hands from shaking after hearing him outside. “You think I don’t know what happened?” Andrew murmurs, and then he kicks the door until it rattles. The loud noise makes your stomach twist since it brings back the sound of the gunshots from earlier, and you can’t have him waking up the whole building. “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” Andrew yells, and he sounds completely out of patience now. You finally walk over to turn the lock quickly because you need him to stop making a scene. “Pope, you need to l-leave,” you whisper as you pull the door open just a few inches, but your voice cracks on the last word. He doesn’t look at your face because the blood on your skin catches his attention. “You’re bleeding,” Andrew says, and he pushes right past you without asking for permission.
You take a step back, but he walks forward toward you as if he doesn’t care about giving you space. “It’s just a little graze, and you can’t be here right now,” you mumble after you try to block his path, but he keeps walking toward you. “Baz did that to you?” Andrew asks before he turns around to slam the door shut and lock it. He steps right back into your space until he’s standing too close. He stares at the blood on your shoulder as he tries to see how bad it is before he looks right into your eyes. “You actually went out there and shot him? You put bullets in Baz?” he asks while his hands twitch at his sides. You stare right back at his eyes as if you’re speaking through them because you want him to see your honesty.
“Don’t look at me like that, don’t use that tone with me like I’m a monster when I did what needed to be done,” you snap as you take a small step back. Andrew shakes his head since he can’t process the words. “You killed him. He was my brother,” he mutters before he steps closer. He lunges forward to grab your jaw so he can force your head up, and don’t flinch at the way he holds you. You instantly match his aggression with your hand clamping around his wrist, and your nails dig deep into his skin until he bleeds. “Yeah, I did it, and I’m not going to lie to you about it when it’s done,” you whisper as you stare right into his face. Andrew refuses to let go of your face, so his fingers dig deeper into your flesh just to make it hurt.
“Why would you touch him? You don’t touch my family,” he angrily says while he glares at you, and you grip his bleeding wrist more roughly to make sure he listens to you. “Because he knew about Cath, Andrew! He knew what you did to her, and he was going to use it to destroy you!” you shout as you try to shake him off. You feel his fingers slip slightly against your skin, and see him suddenly flinch at the name before he drops his hand. Andrew steps back a bit after he releases your face. “Stop. Don’t say her name. Don’t you talk about Cath right now,” he snaps while he stares at the floor. He looks completely unstable right now, and you can see his shoulders rise with every breath. You walk toward him anyway since you need him to hear you.
“Why? Because your brother was ready to put you in a cell for the rest of your life?” you demand, but he just shakes his head. “He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that to me,” he mumbles while he stares at the ground, but he sounds like he’s talking to himself more than he is talking to you. “He absolutely would! I had to protect you because nobody else was doing anything!” you yell as your frustration grows because you want to shake some sense into him before he ruins everything. Andrew looks back up at you, and you can see the way his expression turned furious, but he also looks pitiful right now. “You don’t touch him. You don’t touch a Cody,” he repeats, and his voice drops, but he steps back into your space until you can feel the warmth from his skin.
“And I kept you alive by doing it! Do you think he would’ve hesitated to hand you over to the cops?” you mutter because you’re tired of fighting this thing about him when he doesn’t listen to what you say to him. You want him to see that you put yourself in danger for his sake, but he doesn’t. “You don’t know anything about us,” he reminds you as he leans closer, and you refuse to back away from him even though he’s angry. “I know you’re free right now. I took the risk so you wouldn’t rot in prison!” Your voice rises, and you want him to understand your sacrifice. “I know exactly what I did. You should be thanking me instead of acting like I ruined everything,” you add because you need him to see it, but Andrew only makes a frustrated noise.
“Thank you? You want me to thank you for killing him?” he demands while his chest rises then falls. He looks around the place like he wants to escape the conversation. “He stole eight million dollars from Smurf! Is that what you call family? If he wasn’t going to put you in jail, then he was sure as hell going to kill you for what happened to Cath,” you scream because you’re completely done with his defense of Baz. He doesn’t say a single word back to you and just stares at you like he wants to kill you. “Did Smurf make you do it?” he asks, and he takes another step into your space. You look right back at him, and you want him to snap out of it, but he just looks completely lost. “No,” you answer quickly, since you need him to know this was your choice alone.
He grabs your arm before you can walk away. “She tells people to do things,” he said while his fingers dig into your skin. “She tells you what to do?” he asks, and he watches you try to yank your arm back. The way he grips you is actually painful, but he refuses to let go. “She didn’t-” you start to say before he cuts you off instantly. “She didn’t just what? Say the words,” he demands right in your face. “Let go of me,” you order as you glare up at him. “No,” Andrew snaps, and he leans even closer. “Did she pay you?” he asks while his eyes look at your face for a lie. He looks at you like you are a complete stranger now. “She always buys people. She bought you,” he accuses you, and he also sounds like he’s having a hard time believing it, but his anger blindsides him.
“No,” you whisper, and you shake your head because you wouldn’t accept it even if she offered you money. “How much? Don’t lie to me,” he presses about it again. His repeated questions made you snap completely, and you slapped him across the face with everything you had. The loud noise fills the room before you grab his collar. You aggressively slam him backward against the nearest wall to finally establish some control. “I’m not lying,” you whisper while you keep him pinned against it, even though he could easily push you off, but he didn’t. Andrew stares at you in shock, but the anger never leaves his expression, and he does not try to let go. “I protect them,” he explains, and he glares at your hands that are holding his collar.
“That’s what I do,” he says before he tries to lean forward. You push him harder against the wall since he is being completely blind to the truth. “Who’s going to protect you, hm? You weren’t protecting yourself,” you said right back at him, and hope he realizes that he’s always the one being pushed into violence. “I know what he was going to do to you, and I handled it! I’m the only one who actually cares if you live,” you add while you refuse to let go of his collar. He stares at you, and he couldn’t believe what he’s hearing. “You didn’t do me a favor,” he mutters before he shakes his head just to show he doesn’t need you. “I did what was necessary,” you justify yourself, and you refuse to let him make you feel guilty.
Andrew looks down at you from your face to your shoulder for a second before his eyes go back to yours. “You’re bleeding from it, and you want me to thank you for this?” he asks while he shakes his head. You drop your hands from his shirt and take a step back. “Why shouldn’t you thank me?” you ask, and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. You gesture between the two of you, as if you're trying to prove a point. “You’re breathing right now… You’re free because of what I did tonight,” you point out, since he needs to face reality. “You’re insane,” he couldn’t believe he would say this to another person because he would admit that he never sees another person as insane as him. Andrew pushes himself off the wall and scoffs. You refuse to let him escape the conversation, so you step right back into his path.
“I killed him so you wouldn’t die in jail. Is that hard to understand?” you point out, and your throat hurts from all the back-and-forth argument. “I took the blood on my hands so you wouldn’t lose your entire life!” you finish, but he just glares at you before he walks toward the door, but he looks like he’s hesitating to leave. “You don’t get to touch a single one of us,” he warns as he turns his head to look back at you. You follow him immediately because you are not done yet. “Well, I already did,” you snap while you block his path. “I made the choice to save you from your own brother. Now you’re treating me like this,” you finish, and Andrew stands by the door in silence for a few seconds before he suddenly snaps.
“You had no right!” he shouted in your face to make you feel that you hurt him. “You don’t just get to murder Baz and stand there waiting for me to be grateful,” he adds before he slams his palm over your bullet graze, and his fingers dig into the open wound. He digs his fingers into the wound to make it bleed, and it hurts like a bitch, especially when he’s being rough with it. That’s what made you punch his chest hard until he stumbled back. “That’s exactly what I expect!” Your voice rises before you grab your own shoulder. Blood drips down your arm, but you ignore it because you need him to understand your choices. “I expect you to see the risk I took to keep you safe!” you add since you refuse to back down.
“You’re out of your mind,” he mutters, and he looks at you like you’re completely unrecognizable to him before he takes a step back. “No, I’m just honest about it, Pope. It’s the only real loyalty you’ve ever had,” you snap because you hate seeing him act like the victim here and step closer to him so you can look him right in the eye. “You’re not a Cody,” he said as he stepped right back into your space and glared at you with pure hatred. You chuckle at his words because, thank god, you are not a Cody. “You don’t get to do nothing for me!” he spits before his chest presses against yours with how close you are to each other. You refuse to back away from him, so you hold your ground to make him face the truth of the situation.
“But you’re here, aren’t you? You’re free, and you’re breathing because I handled the problem,” you point out, since he would be in prison otherwise. All the anger suddenly drains right out of his face after he hears that. “He was my brother,” he whispers before he looks away from you. You take a step closer to him because you want him to face the truth. “And he was going to kill you too,” you whisper as you watch his expression change, but you didn’t even get to react when he moved to reach you. Andrew grabs your shoulders and shoves you backward across the room. Your back bangs against the wall before his large hands instantly wrap around your throat to pin you in place. He squeezes your neck roughly, but not rough enough to make you pass out.
You don’t even try to scratch his arms, and you just look right into his eyes. A breathless laugh escapes your lips. “You w-wanted- this t-too- Pope... don’t lie to yourself,” you choke out while a smile spreads across your face. “Shut your mouth,” he said, and you will try to piss him off at this point if he won’t listen to you. Andrew hates the truth you’re forcing on him because he refuses to believe that Baz will come into that, but he doesn’t know what to think about him anymore after what he did to Cath. Air feels hard to get with his hands wrapped around your neck, but you force yourself to speak anyway. “If you d-didn’t… want him dead- you would’ve already ki- killed me, but I’m breathing right now,” you mutter after you gasp for breath.
Your words make him completely lose his mind, and his fingers squeeze harder into your neck until you cough. He leans his entire body into you, and his face is only inches from yours. “I don’t want to hear about it,” he dismisses you, but he’s still here and not walking away or making you shut up for good. “We’re the same, Pope... I would kill for you,” you whisper while you stare right back at him. Andrew stares at you with anger, and you can see it in his dilated pupils. People might think that he looks like a monster, but you aren’t afraid of him. “I will kill you,” he said right into your face, and you could feel hot breath against your skin. You don’t back down from his threat because you know he won’t do it. “Then do it!” you laugh when you look right into his eyes.
You lift your hand and wrap it around the back of his neck to push his face down until your lips touch his. You guide the kiss, but he hesitates to move his mouth against yours. You push your neck harder into his palm to provoke him after what he said. He moves his face back suddenly because your lack of fear confuses him. “Mmgh... do it,” you moan against his mouth when his fingers squeeze your throat. You look right into his eyes and smile up at him. “Kill me, it won’t be hard,” you whisper in a soft voice before he loses his mind completely. Andrew pushes his mouth against yours again and moves both of you away from the wall. His left hand leaves your neck, but his other hand still presses his fingers against it.
He kisses you like he’s furious about how much he wants right now. His tongue forces its way past your lips while your fingers dig into his shoulders for balance. Andrew walks you backward toward your bedroom while he kisses you with total aggression. His free hand reaches around to the clasp of your bra. He unhooks the fabric before he slides the straps off your shoulders. “Fuck... Pope,” you mutter against his cheek when your feet trip over something. He catches your waist to stop you from falling, but his mouth doesn’t leave yours for a single second. Your left hand leaves his shoulder to slip it under the hem of his shirt before you drag your palm over his skin and caress his warm stomach.
Andrew’s mouth keeps moving against yours, but he guides your steps backward until the back of your knee touches the bed frame. He pulls his face away from yours, suddenly just to stare at your body. “Must be your first time with a woman since prison,” you mock him with your chin tilt up. He glares right at you before his hand leaves your neck to grope your breast roughly. “Feels nice, huh?” you taunt him while you watch his jaw twitch. He ignores your teasing words, and his thumb encircles your nipple. “Shut up,” he grunts before he pinches it hard. “Mfffh... fuck,” you moan out, and you immediately bite your lip. Andrew smirks for a brief second, but he scowls again almost instantly. His hand leaves your chest to move down to your stomach before his fingers find the waistband of your pants.
“Oh, wait, I forgot about Cath,” you mock him when his hand pauses, and you look straight at his face, and you smirk. “You already fucked her after you got out, but this is so much better, isn’t it?” You taunt him before his fingers unbutton your pants, and he unzips them so he can tug the fabric down your hips. You push the rest of the pants past your knees and kick them away. His hands grab the bottom of his shirt, and you watch him pull the fabric over his head. “You look good, Pope,” you compliment him while you look at his chest. You hook your fingers into his waistband to pull him closer to you, and he places his hands on your waist. You press a kiss on his neck when he tilts his head to let you, and you bite his skin until you get a metallic taste before you suck the same spot.
“Fuck- don’t do that,” he grunts while his fingers graze your hips. “Why would I? You like it,” you tease him as you feel his palms caress your skin, and you can tell he enjoys it by the way his hands touch your waist. “I don’t like getting marked,” he mutters as his fingers twitch against your skin. You chuckle at his words, and you bite his neck again to give him a hickey to show how stubborn you can be when you want something. He groans into your ear, and his hands slide right inside your panties to grope your ass. “Take it off,” you whisper while you nod to challenge him, and he shoves your shoulders to push you back onto the mattress. You hook both of your fingers on the waistband of your panties as if you’re going to strip, but slap your thigh before he leans over to drag the underwear off your legs himself.
He sneakily shoves your panties into the back pocket of his pants before he steps away. He unbuttons it before he pulls it off, along with his boxer briefs. You take a deep breath when you watch him wrap his hand around his cock to stroke it. “You look like you’ve never seen one before,” he said after he caught you staring. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you mock him back, and you guide him closer with your feet. Andrew crawls onto the bed to get right between your legs and doesn’t look around for protection as if he’s ready to be a father. You watch him drag the tip of his cock against your slit, but he doesn’t push it inside yet. He keeps rubbing the head of his shaft against your clit until he can see it pulse.
“You’re going to buy me a morning-after pill if you want to do this without a condom,” you taunt him when you tilt your pelvis up to meet him. His lips part slightly after he hears what you said, but his hand didn’t stop holding your thigh. “I’ll take care of it,” he grunts, and his palm presses into your leg. “Yeah?” you question him as you stare back at his face. He nods once, and he guides his tip right to your entrance, but doesn’t move for a moment so that he can stare at you. You open your legs wider for him, and you can feel yourself getting wetter each second you wait for him. “You want a little Pope?” you tease him, and you watch his eyes express something that you can’t figure out. Your comment does something to his body that he can’t explain, and he doesn’t give an answer, but he leans forward.
“I- I think you want it- mhm,” you moan out when he slowly slides his entire cock inside your wet cunt. He plants his hands on the mattress beside your head, and he usually avoids looking at women during intimacy, but he faces you anyway before he buries his face in your neck just to hide how he feels. He always made them take him from the back, or he forced them to look away before his time in prison. His mind always went back to it, but he’s actually taken aback when he doesn’t want you to do the same, or at least he doesn’t imagine that it’s Cath he’s fucking with right now. Especially that the last time he had sex was right before he killed her, so genuinely surprised that he can do this with you without her memory haunting his thoughts.
His cock pulls out, and you wrap your arms around his back before digging your nails into his skin when he thrusts it deeply. “Mfffh- fuck,” you gasp out when his length fills your cunt. There’s intense guilt eating him up despite how good it feels while he fucks you. He can’t help but think that this is the exact same night Baz died, and he knows you’re the person who killed his brother, yet his anger completely disappears just being inside you. He finds himself pathetic for letting your body blindside him like this. “You’re t-too- deep…” You whisper, and he moves faster instead of slowing down. “Y-You-” he chokes out after your cunt clenches around him, and his hand sneaks between your bodies before his fingers play with your chest. You grab his chin to make him look you straight in the eye. “Watch what you’re doing to me,” you whisper after you pull his head up.
He let out a ragged breath, and his palms gripped the mattress beside your ears. He squeezes your breast until you gasp, and what you said makes him thrust deeper into your cunt. You wrap your legs around his waist to hold him close, and he’s completely determined to get a reaction out of you after you told him to watch you. “Ngh- never look away,” you moan loudly, and he knows that this is something he needs to remember. He grunts against your skin, and he keeps looking right at you. He lowers his head down to your chest, and he sucks on your nipple while he looks right at your face. He nurses on you as if he hopes something will drop from your skin so he can drink it. This eagerness makes you completely wet, and you feel how desperately he wants you.
His palm squeezes your other breast before his fingers pinch your nipple. He handles your body like he wants to put a baby inside of you just because he wants to drink from your breast. “Mmm... maybe we can have a little Pope,” you tease him, and your hips tilt up to meet his thick cock. “That’s only if you don’t kill me in bed like what you did to her,” you whisper, and you watch his expression completely change. He immediately bites your nipple after hearing that, and his hand moves up from your chest to your neck, and he applies enough pressure to make it hard for you to breathe. He chokes you a little harder, but he keeps thrusting deep into your cunt without stopping. “H-how did you do it?” you choked out as you stared up at him.
“Did you use your hands or a pillow?” you question him before you smile right into his angry face. Your cunt pulses around his shaft while his hand keeps a tight wrap around your neck. “I know you won’t kill me, Pope,” you gasp out, and his hips grind down against yours. Andrew takes his mouth away from your nipple before he leans closer to your face. “How do you know that?” he murmurs as he hovers right above you. His question made you, and your hand reached up to hold his jaw. You know it because you can feel his hand relax against your throat right now. Sure, his fingers are still wrapped around your neck, but it doesn’t do anything, and he’s not even choking you. That just proves that he has plenty of chances to hurt you, but he never finishes it.
He’s just all talk, and you’re not even scared to show him how you feel about that, and you’re not going to back down, even if he’s leaning down closer until your noses almost touch. “Ah- ngh- you like this too much,” you gasp out while his cock keeps sliding deep inside you, and you stroke his cheek as you stare up at him. “Cath would never let you do this, you know? She was terrified of you, but I am not,” you taunt him, and you feel his jaw clenches under your palm because you know exactly how to bait him. “She would not want you like I do,” you mock him when, before you, purposely squeeze yourself around him. His free hand moves down your side after what you said upset him, and his fingers find the fresh gunshot graze on your skin. He digs his nails right into the open wound, and you cry out from the sudden pain.
You pull your hand back from his jaw to slap him across the face, and then your fingers slide straight into his hair to guide his head down to see if he’ll actually kiss you. He stops moving for a second when your mouths almost touch, but he refuses to pull away. The two of you are really crazy and perfect for each other, with the way you respond to one another that no normal people would. He stares into your eyes while his hips keep grinding against yours, and breathes out against your lips before he passionately kisses you. His tongue slides inside your lips when you part them, then he licks your tongue. The way he kisses you makes you clench your cunt around his cock, and that makes him suck on your lower lip until it gets swollen. Andrew moves his mouth away from your lips, and he looks down at them before his thumb slips right between your teeth.
You suck on his skin almost immediately while your cunt squeezes around his cock. “You’re such a freak,” he mutters out loud, and he didn’t even realize he really said it because he’s just thinking of it. His other hand grips your waist to keep you pinned down against the mattress. His comment makes you lick his thumb while you stare right back at him, and he tries to ignore what you’re doing, but he thrusts deeper into you anyway. “Don’t bring her up again,” he said because he’s getting sick of you bringing her up multiple times, and he wants your attention on him instead of Cath. He isn’t actually angry, but he gets annoyed by how stubborn you act when the only thing on his mind is how good your wet pussy feels around his shaft.
You make a soft noise against his finger before you bite down gently on his skin. Pope breathes fast through his nose, and his fingers dig into your waist. “Y-you... you feel good,” he grunts out with frustration because he didn’t even want to say it. It’s an unexpectedly sweet compliment, but it makes you gasp right before he takes his thumb out of your mouth. “Nngh- do I?” you tease him after his hips push deep into you. He doesn’t answer you, but he hides his face deep in the valley of your chest before he scrapes his teeth over your skin, and he sucks on it. His free hand squeezes your breast right after. You honestly find him adorable. “Haah- Pope,” you gasp out when your hands slide up his spine to caress his sweaty back.
The way he’s thrusting inside you made you shut your eyes. Your fingernails dig into his skin to scratch it whenever his cock reaches a deep spot inside your cunt. Your toes curl from the pleasure building up in your lower stomach. “Hah- I-I’m getting so close,” you whisper after you feel his cock throb right against your walls. “Y-you are?” he breathes out in surprise, but he finishes quicker than you when he suddenly cums inside you. It has really been months since his last time, and he doesn’t touch himself, so it made him fill your cunt a lot. He keeps thrusting deep inside you, but he slows down until his hips stop moving for a few moments before he pushes back in. You feel completely full from his size, and all the release he gave inside you makes his cock slide into your cunt much easier.
You realize he is crying, and you feel your chest grow wet from his tears. Andrew is completely overwhelmed, and it shows with the way his hand keeps holding your breast, but his other hand can’t stay in one place. “Mmm- it’s okay, Pope,” you soothe him softly when your fingers play with his hair to make him look up at you. You kiss the top of his head before you guide his face into the crook of your neck, and the room feels hot tonight, so the sweat from both of you makes your skin stick against his chest. You search for his hands on the mattress to intertwine your fingers, but he ignores your attempt, and instead, he grabs your wrists to pin your arms above your head instead. The squelching sound of his cock sliding inside your cunt is all you can hear right now, besides the squeaking of the bed.
“God- Pope, I-I’m getting really close,” you gasp out after his hips thrust to bury himself deep inside you again. He bites down on your neck before he lifts his upper body to hover over you, since he refuses to hide his face so he can look directly at you. The sound of his pelvis slamming against your thighs echoes across the bedroom while overwhelming pleasure builds in your lower stomach. Andrew watches the way your eyes roll back, and it shows exactly how close you are to finishing. He thinks about how you look so fucking good from taking everything he can give to you, and he just wants to watch you cum for him. Your chest heaves when you try to catch your breath, and he notices the exact moment you part your lips before you bite down on your bottom lip.
He breathes out roughly after he stares at your breasts bouncing with every single thrust. “Fuc- right there- ahh,” you whine out when he moves his hips to fuck you harder. You finally cum around his cock after a few more deep thrusts, and your toes curl while your head thrashes from side to side against the bedsheets. You feel way too exposed with the way he looks right at you, so you try to yank your hands away to cover your face, but he doesn’t let you, and he keeps your wrists pinned down. You can’t even think straight from how good he feels inside you, and it just made you turn your head to the side to hide your face since your eyes keep rolling back. “Don’t do that,” he grunts out before he pushes deeper right through your orgasm.
You feel completely overwhelmed by his cock filling you up entirely. “Mmmf- it’s- ahhn,” you sob out, but he starts to slow down until he god satisfied enough to can stop. He doesn’t slide his cock out of your cunt right away, and squeaking from the mattress stops completely, so you only hear his loud breathing. He gets up on his knees between your legs, and his hands grip your thighs. All the sweat you made from this makes your skin stick to the bedsheets, and it feels cold against your back. You stare up at his face while you try to guess what he thinks about. “What are you looking at?” you ask him when he watches you without saying anything. “Nothing,” he mumbles before he slides completely out of you.
You could feel the cold air the moment he put some distance between you. He looks down at your legs to watch his cum drip onto the bedsheets, and you just stare at it because you’re too tired to comment on it. The silence between you is too loud for his liking, so he decided to stand to look around for something to help you clean. You cross your arms over your chest since you feel too exposed wearing nothing, and you watch him search the corners of the room for a minute before you speak again. “What are you looking for?” you ask him before you sit up on the mattress. He licks his lips, and he turns his head to look at you. “Where are your towels?” he asks you quietly while he waits for your answer. You point toward the bathroom, and you nod your head so he knows exactly where to go. You listen to the wooden drawers being opened from down the hall before he walks back into the bedroom a minute later with a fresh towel and the first aid kit.
Andrew brought it towards you, and the bed springs squeak loudly when he sits down on the edge of the mattress. He hands both items over to you because touching you to clean the cum between your legs and the blood from your wound feels way too intimate for him to handle, but he’s not an asshole just to leave you here all alone after just having sex with you. “I got these for you to use,” he tells you softly while he looks at you. You take the things from his hands, and you notice how tense his shoulders look. He clears his throat when you don’t answer him, like a simple thank you or whatever is on your mind. Not that he wants a loud room because he hates loud spaces and people who can’t leave him alone, but being the one who initiates something as simple as giving is making him want a two-way conversation.
“To clean yourself up and to treat the wound,” he explains a few seconds later, because he wants you to understand why he brought them. He looks down at the wound on your skin, and his expression changes because he clearly regrets the way he hurt you earlier. You grab the first aid kit from him, and you drop a towel across your lap. You decide not to wipe the mess between your legs yet, so you just let the fabric cover your thighs instead. You unlock the plastic box to look for something to clean the dried blood that dripped on your skin. He made the cut bleed all over twice earlier when he got angry, so now you’re doing the cleaning work because of his shit, but you stop searching to look back up at him.
“You should lick the blood out since you made it bleed,” you tell him while you point right at the wound, and look completely thrown off by your words. He thinks you’re out of your mind even to suggest that after you provoked him and literally killed his brother, but doesn’t feel scared of you, though, and he actually likes how unhinged you act around him. Andrew stares at you with an expression you can’t figure out what he’s thinking until his jaw twitches. “Sorry,” he mutters out, but he looks like it physically hurts him to apologize. “If you actually mean it, then you should buy me the morning-after pill,” you tell him after you pull an alcohol wipe from the kit. He just blinks at you when he realizes he completely forgot that he fucked you raw without a condom. “What?” he asks you while he tilts his head at you. You rip the small package open to take out the wipe.
“A pill,” you state clearly, so he understands. He watches your movements closely since he looks completely lost. “Do you want me to get knocked up?” you question him as you stare directly at his face. He watches your hands move over the wound, but he thinks getting you pregnant is exactly what he wants because a baby would permanently tie you to him. You already know way too much about his family, so getting you pregnant is the best way to stop Smurf from killing you later. He keeps those thoughts to himself and definitely won’t ever admit them to you, though. “No,” he answers you quietly while he shakes his head. “I’ll take care of it,” he mumbles out as if he’s even ready to buy them right now. You stare at his back as he'd better take care of it, or else you’ll take care of him permanently. But if he actually gets it done, he should know you can really take good care of him, too.
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⠀⠀⠀ twenty-twenty-six © addie / musingsofheaven.
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