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@shakespanderian
Hello, my name is Kendra Hefner. No, I'm not related to Hugh Hefner. That's just the problem. See, I have spent most of my short, 20 years of life dealing with this question: "Are you related to Hugh!?" I'm constantly having to choose between being a smart-alec and saying "YES! He's my Uncle...
we know plankton and krabs have been playing poker together for 15 years
we also know this episode aired before the episode where pearl turned 16
while the non-continuity & non-chronological order of the series means that assuming that pearl was 15 in welcome to the chum bucket is a foolâs gamble - itâs reasonable enough that if there is an episode about her turning 16, her character was likely conceptualized as being 15 years old prior to that point. but either she was 15 or she was 16 in welcome to the chum bucket ⊠and either way, thatâs about as long as pearlâs been alive.
we also know that pearl is krabsâ biological daughter ⊠through a combination of facts ⊠and were given reason to believe that something happened to the mother of his child shortly after pearlâs birth that made him depressed. sheâs not around anymore and no longer apart of their lives in any way shape or form.
we also know plankton and krabs were childhood best friends, going on to have an on-again-off-again friendship for years prior to spongebob getting a job at the krusty krab ⊠and the two are shown to occasionally have moments where they truly, genuinely care about each other deep down, despite the rivalry âŠ
conclusion: plankton might have started playing poker with krabs to cheer him up after the death of his wife
writing tip #845:
take a deep breath and carefully place a spider into your mouth. slowly add more until your mouth is full of spiders. congratulations
Iâm crying
proud puppy is proud
my dog took a bullet for me
THE SWIVEL OF THAT BUTT THO
Not all heroes wear capes
WHOLESOME POST
I think he found one. (via specksgoor)
Oh my dog. (via RosslynAJÂ / to_wags)
Shelter doggos are best doggos.
Claudius: Fortinbras's armies are approaching, we're all going to die.
Hamlet: Oh, god, I hope so.
Doing some serious math.
Me in stats
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. Heâs p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in itsâ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and moreâŠdare I say itâŠsane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the familyâs âoddâ lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didnât make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became ânormalâ for a period and although they were shocked and didnât know how to handle it, they didnât mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.Â
Reblogged for truth.
â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and Iâm happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
Itâs nobodyâs surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomezâs words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
âMake her feel like sheâs the most sublime creature on earthâ
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like âawesomeâ) has lost a lot of itâs original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesnât really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as itâs often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to controlâŠor even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
âMake her feel like sheâs the most sublime creature on earthâ
Gomez isnât advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (whoâs idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how sheâs an untameable force of nature whoâs grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
Iâll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
âWhen I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.â
- -Sanjay Kulkarni
the most legendary lyric of my generation tbh
Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.
Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.
Antifreeze is fucking deadly as shit. Whilst my mom worked in the vets office the neighbor of a cat owner had become sick of his neighbors tom spraying by his house so he left antifreeze out for the cat. Animals are weirdly attracted to the smell and will drink it.
The cat was given to the vets and for 2 days itâs insides were slowly dissolved by the acids and it bled from his nose, mouth and even eyes. Â
On the second day, the vet not being able to help and refusing to let the cat suffer any longer put the cat down. The neighbor who did not deny his crimes didnât even offer to pay the womanâs vet bill.
SO THE BIGGEST FUCKING SIGNAL BOOST TO THIS POST.
Fuck who ever is doing this. They can fucking burn.
my friend had a cat and it drank antifreeze that was puddled in the driveway and one day they were knitting and it just vomited up all of its internal organs and fell over dead on her lap.
The perpetrators of all of this will burn in Hell.Â
A neighbor of mine threw a ball of hamburger full of rat poison pellets over our fence for my sonâs dog. He survived, barely, but has had nerve damage ever since.
Okay, listen up, if your pet drinks antifreeze, do you know what the cure is? Alcohol. Thatâs right. To save your furry little friend you have to get them drunk out of their faces. Antifreeze is an inhibitor and stops your enzymes from working, but luckily alcohol stops that from happening. I learned this from my A Level Biology lessons, but hereâs a source anyway http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2617997.stm
Shit this is important SIGNAL BOOST THIS THANK YOU ALICE
BOOST. FUCKING BOOST.
ALWAYS REBLOG
People like to think being an English major makes you super posh, but literally I was assigned a reading where a guy ate a talking plant and then farted so hard he propelled himself forward, so do with that what you wil.
