I Will Bite

Beware: Chronically pissed

[shallowcrypts]

You know… I’d pay an unseemly amount of money to know what Abigail Larson genuinely thinks of how IrenHorrors basically built her career off of ripping off her art style; blatantly so. I’ve wondered for YEARS, and it’s only recently I’ve heard other people point out what I’ve been thinking to myself for years.

[mistchievous]

Have you ever met a Tumblr mutual in real life?

Yes.

Yes, and I have mutuals who were irl friends first.

No.

No, but I have mutuals who were irl friends first.

Voting ended onOct 26, 2023

[shallowcrypts]

I need more people to stop and ask themselves if they’re actually compatible with their friends. Are you a sensitive human being around normal people and who keeps getting your feelings hurt over the dumbest shit?

Tough. Get thicker skin or get new friends.

No, fucking seriously. If you’re gonna keep bitching and moaning at people who do or say things they don’t realize “hurt” you, get other friends or stop being a little bitch. “You hurt my feelings” Okay, they said sorry and genuinely meant it, attempted to remedy the situation, and make sure it never happens again. “You’re not doing enough to make this situation better. You need to do XYZ for me to forgive you.”

At that point: just fuck off. Communication (and boundaries) is important in relationships, but there’s a point where if it gets twisted into making dumb ass rules, you’re manipulative and you’re the problem. If you have to have so many fucking rules and guidelines for your friends to baby your feelings and ‘abandonment issues’, you’re not their friend. You’re their warden. A little bitch baby warden who keeps asking themselves why people keep leaving you and you can’t fucking see for yourself why.

[animatedtext]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, don't take their criticism either.

[theeldritchbeesechurger]

Wait whoa

[landsword]

op woke up and chose logic today and idk how i feel about that

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[shallowcrypts]

Avoidants are unfairly demonized.

And you know what? I’m sick of seeing anxious-attached folks being treated as if they’re fully the victim and totally blameless.

They just cannot ever admit that they might make mistakes, especially serious ones. Can't apologize. Self righteous as hell, and so, so blaming. It's such bullshit. It’s so often that the avoidant partner is forced to take “accountability” for whatever the issue and the AP gets to be relieved that its “not them” and they don’t have to look at their own outrageous behavior that may have contributed to the original issue.

AP’s get all the sympathy because they are usually the loudest, therefore we all have to center around their feelings. It's not that the avoidants DON’T want help, it's avoidants are more likely to avoid and if someone doesn't like conflict and the AP is constantly having a temper tantrum... so who is going to get heard? Have the most attention to their problems?

I was recently talking to a friend about couples therapy with her avoidant partner & even in listening I could tell that she didn't realize how much she dominated the therapy sessions, while simultaneously complaining he wasn't there enough. When he finally broke down and cried about something she had said, her response? You've never cried about that before but it bothers you NOW?

And that’s the thing, it's never good enough for APs. It is hard to be a person when an AP is suffocating the room, and it's easier for them to blame avoidants because we are the only people who will continually put up with their shit, because we ignore it and somehow they are the victims in that too. The goal post is forever changing with them, and nothing is ever good enough. They complain and put pressure on to be, think, feel a certain way and when you manage to come close, you're still somehow in the wrong. I would rather shove everything down and suffer silently than possibly trigger an AP into an episode because THAT is pure psychological torture.

And don’t even get me started about how they then proceed to be the "humble brags" of self-work:

"I just have too big of a heart and I over-give because I'm too generous.”

If all the APs I've known ACTUALLY took accountability it'd sound like:

"I make comments with the intention of making you feel ashamed and guilty so that in your diminished self-worth you might be insecure enough to come to me. Maybe if you're upset we can have a conversation or emote at each other, which is a form of connection, so I force that since I can't force you do do whatever I want at any given moment. I push and push and push and push you so that when you break A) again, I can feel the connection that comes with conflict, at least, and B) I can feel victimized by how 'mean' you are by finally breaking at my prodding. I do not ever stop to consider how this might be tanking your life and our relationship... because I always find a way to blame you for that. I have the audacity to purport to know what your problems are and your inner work should be, and though I'm begging you to open up to me, I don't listen when you do. I just cry because whatever you say scares me, and my fear is still ultimately more important than any of your experiences." APs don't "care" anymore than Avoidants as a default, though they may try too hard, sure.

The issue is that the “I care too much" gets recognized as "and that causes problems for ME” and they're like "oh look I'm taking accountability!" But they never get to the part about how them "caring too much" caused problems for OTHERS and they never want to earnestly apologize. Their behavior can be seriously, seriously, damaging to be on the other end of.

"I'm impatient, have unrealistic expectations, and I over-perform for love. I'm going to work on this with my therapist because I'm realizing now how this is backfiring and causing me pain."

^That would be accountability.

[erozcze]

This may be kinda niche, but;

Articles on people with an anxious attachment style: uwu little baby, small innocent bean, gentle and soft, must protect

Articles on people with avoidant attachment style: evil narcissists that have no emotions, master manipulators, can never be perceived by anyone, secretly hates everyone

[passivites]

*gives someone so much space that i never speak to them again*

[ispyspookymansion]

whats great about the internet is that you can just ignore people who are fucking stupid and not waste your time on them, i say, white knuckling the sink and staring into the mirror

[glasspostings]

while you were attending therapy i was studying the blade

[abyssal-glory]

I love you angry characters I love you revenge arcs I love you protagonists who kill people and don’t feel bad about it I love you manipulative heroes I love you gray morals I love you terrifying protagonists I love you characters who hold boiling grudges I love you characters who reveal that their perceived harmlessness was just patience the whole time I love you stories about atonement and rage and vengeance that don’t end in forgiveness or guilt I love you stories that explore the healing power of incandescent rage

[adampvrrish]

not to be a cunt but the way people seem to write books now by cherry picking favorite tropes and character cliches and mashing them together with a basic overplayed plot.. and then it's marketed online and even in physical book stores literally just by describing the book by its trope usage and people eat it up like slay fake dating or gay enemies to lovers 😍 like okay but what is the book ABOUT is the writing good what's the plot what's the message? they're all soulless and like bioengineered to be immediate bestsellers with zero depth

[coldbrewnette]

I blog for the girls who cry on their birthdays and lose a little bit of themselves during the summer months

[keydekyie]

The creature that wants to kill you will not growl.

The function of a growl is as a warning. It is a communication that violence is available as a tool, but is not preferred. Other outcomes, besides your death, are available and should be considered.

But the creature that wants to kill you will not growl.

If your death is the goal, then growling will only serve as a delay and may result in your escape, which runs counter to the goal. There will be no growl, no warning. There will be no snarl or hiss or bluster. The creature that bares its teeth with the intent to kill only does so to bring closer its fangs to your demise.

The creature that growls does not want to kill you, but will if it must.

I advise you to appreciate the warning. You may not receive another.

[evilkitten3]

#writing#I’m way more terrified of an animal looking at me the way I look at baklava than I am of growling and snarling#grace makes art

so glad i checked the tags on this one

[firefox-official]

“youre so mean” if you guys werent fucking stupid i wouldnt have to be mean to you. change starts with you

[shallowcrypts]