( * ― HARD TIMES )

and i’ll use you as a warning sign that if you talk enough sense, then you’ll l o s e your (mind); and i’ll use you as focal point, so i don’t lose sight of what i want. and i’ve moved further than i (thought) i could— but i miss you more than i thought i would. tess. 22. she/her. multi-oc. independent. semi-selective.

[yolonists]

(งツ)ว on my way to fuck things up

[timetraveldean]

when someone says I’m being over dramatic

[plasmalogical]

self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys

[dailybellamyblake]

[labors]

no soap or water will ever wash away what you’ve done

[shallowhearteds]

rcttlesncke

seeing him again meant so much for her. even if it was unexpected, even if she wasn’t sure what her feelings towards this encounter were. there were some flashbacks of what they used to be; billie singing to elliot while he was just lying down, then giggles and kisses until they couldn’t stay awake anymore. but there were also countless fights, slamming of doors, anger and tears. he still meant so much for her and the only thing that she did was run away. leave and never go back. she disappeared. the reasons were still unclear for her… they had a fight, and then what? it wasn’t the first time. what went different that day?… with a nod, billie entered the restaurant that she knew all too well with elliot behind her. in silence, the blonde moved to an empty table, and took a sit on the quilted chairs. “have you been fine?” billie asked, looking up to set her eyes to elliot.

he follows her into the restaurant, chair scraping against wooden floors as he situates himself in the seat across from her. his eyes struggle to meet hers, instead merely flickering just around the space above her shoulder. there’s too many memories attached to her --- each flashing dimly around in his head as he considers her question. he hasn’t been fine for a while; things had spun wildly out of control only months after she had left, and left him completely entangled in a violent and volatile life that he wanted no part of. “it’s been alright,” he answers instead, the lie slipping all to easily from his lips. “just work and more work, i suppose. nothing too exciting.” he pauses then, realizing that he should flip the question back towards her. “what about you? everything been, y’know, good with you?”

[disenchantmcnt]

- ̗̀ @shallowhearteds liked for a starter !  ̖́-

Based off of this plot.

❛ You realize that we can’t.. keep doing this. ❜ It was late at night in the Oulton household. Everyone was together once again for a family reunion, but there was an addition to the family which took everyone by surprise. Catarina’s prim and perfect older sister decided to bring her boyfriend. In their parent’s eyes, he wasn’t good enough for Catarina’s sister, but Catarina disagrees completely. It was like this the previous nights so far and Catarina sat at the other end of her bed while he sat at the foot of her queen sized bed. ❛ Y – you’re my sister’s boyfriend. ❜ It was an inaudible whisper, but she was certain he heard it. But it felt too good to throw away. Catarina would listen to her parents bitch and argue with her older sister concerning the relationship, but quite frankly, she loved him. 

[shallowhearteds]

He was used to sneaking into places he shouldn’t be --- it was practically a SPECIALTY of his at this point. But it was rare for him to use that skill to sneak in with the intent to see someone else...someone he really shouldn’t be waiting until the cover of nightfall to slip in through her window to see. He’s often up to no good, and now is no exception as he sits comfortably on the bed of his girlfriend’s sister, limbs idly stretched out as his feet scrape against the wood floor to keep him grounded in the spot, even as he itches to just crawl into the spot directly next to Catarina. “Do you actually want to stop?” He finally asks, breaking the silence that had stretched taunt between them after her whispered words. “Because frankly, I don’t.”

[disenchantmcnt]

- ̗̀ @shallowhearteds liked for a starter !  ̖́-

❛ Do you not fucking get it? ❜ Heated arguments were beginning to be a daily thing for Anastasia and her roommate. They had to keep their banter to a minimum volume considering everyone was asleep. It was a late night and she wasn’t quite sure how it got to this point. ❛ I fucking like you, alright? ❜ Her teeth glued together as she hissed through gritted teeth, hoping he didn’t hear what she just breathed out. Despite being in a relationship, getting to know her room mate had been a roller coaster ride, but she had been denying her feelings far too long. The blonde had been bottling up and suppressing her feelings for too long that she couldn’t keep it all to herself anymore. Silence began to settle in the living room where they were nailed to the wooden floors. Her hands balled into fists as she impatiently waited for his response. ❛ Fucking say something, you idiot. ❜

[shallowhearteds]

“Apparently NOT,” he grumbles, voice rough as he struggles to not raise it. But frustration weaves in and out of his words, as it often seems to do whenever the two are put in the same space for more than a few passing moments. And he hasn’t been able to put an exact source to the shift in tension up until now, as the admittance is very much pulled from her through clenched teeth and fists. It washes over him like a wave, ice running through his veins as he lets out a frustrated sigh. “Jesus Christ, Stasia,” he groans, running a hand angrily through previously styled locks of hair before dropping it back to his side. “What do you want me to say? I put my stupid fucking heart on the line MONTHS ago, and suddenly you’re finally ready to say it back? It doesn’t WORK like that.” But it does --- for as incredibly frustrated as he can get with his roommate, he can’t swallow the flicker of hope that begins to dimly light up within him.

[ohmyklaus]

[shallowhearteds]

gasolinehearts

bailey grimaces as the male lifts her up, not due to the motion itself but rather being so close to the noisy culprit. her arms outstretch to reach the machinery, removing it from its place and fumbling around with it until the blaring noise finally ceases, luring a relieved sigh from her lips. “thank god,” she breathes out as her feet find themselves back on solid ground, placing the smoke detector on the counter ( just in case it’d go off again – a more than realistic worry given their luck ) before her petite figure moves to open the window, hand finding its place on her hip as she turns around and cocks her head to the side whilst eyeing the other. “if you don’t like the apartment, we can talk about that, you know? there’s no need to try and burn it down. i’m not sure insurance is gonna cover for that.”

blessed silence finally descends upon the apartment with sudden clarity, though the ringing still echos dimly in his head --- a lingering imprint of his previous error. “believe it or not, this was all actually an ACCIDENT.” a grimace follows the statement, his gaze shifting over to what is left behind as the smoke begins clearing from the room. it still lingers around the oven, the main culprit that began the chaotic chain of events that she had walked into. “so...you know those tasty videos that’re always on facebook? i, uh, well i saw one and it looked easy enough, and i wanted to surprise you with a whole three course meal when you came back. but...um, well, i guess it wasn’t as easy as i thought.”

[shallowhearteds]

lcstinthewoods

she hears him get up and come towards her, but she decides it’s best to ignore him as she keeps her focus aimed on the study material in front of her, knowing to expect him to try and sway her decision. he didn’t need to study like she did, thus didn’t see the importance of why she was so stubborn about sitting down and studying for whatever upcoming exams she had - she wasn’t as fortunate as he was. continuing to ignore him as he sits at the end of her couch, her resolve is strong until the bastard mentions garlic rolls, and she knows she has lost as soon as the words had left his mouth. pizza, she could easily fight against. but garlic rolls? he knew she could never say no to those sinfully delicious pieces of carbs. slowly, her brown eyes raise up towards his figure with an exasperated glare, not even bothered by his puppy dog eyes; she had learned to say no to those a long time ago - but sometimes, sometimes he still got the best of her with them. “i really hate you sometimes.” she muttered, slamming her textbook shut with a loud sigh.

he can see the telltale signs of her resolve crumbling before his very eyes --- he’s used to wiggling his way past steel walls of determination that people put up and knows that it’s usually possible...if you know the right spots to press against. and for his dear emily, that just happens to be some deliciously sinful garlic rolls. “hate is just a thin line away from love,” he teases, a wide grin stretching his lips as he pushes himself back off the couch. a hand drops towards her as she shuts the textbook, easily plucking it from her lap and discarding it on the table besides them before he reaches back towards her, ready to pull her up and get the hell out of this stuffy room. “you won’t regret it, i promise.”

[doujinshi]

[shallowhearteds]

gasoliines

amalie had an inkling that gabriel was still struggling to deal with all of his newfound fame. it couldn’t be easy, that much she knew. and it made her understand as to why things ended the way they did a little better, but it still didn’t ease her aching heart. “i just…i don’t understand. i could have been there for you, gabe.” she crossed her arms over her chest, finally letting her gaze drift back up to him. she would have, and still would, do anything for him. it hurt to think that he couldn’t turn to her for support for whatever reason. amalie ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head, “i don’t want you to leave.”  she finally admitted. she should want him to leave, but it had been so long since the pair had talked, let alone been in the same room. “i’ve missed you so much, gabriel.”

she was right, of course --- he knows that she easily would’ve been there through it all for him. but fear of change and fear of what would come of a long distance relationship, fueled on by the strain of a hectic schedule and draining practices was enough to cut ties that should’ve never been cut. “i know, i just...i don’t even really know. everyone just kept telling me how busy i would be, and all i could think about was how unfair that is to you. you never signed up for that life. and i thought i was doing the right thing...it sounds stupid now that i’m saying it, but i really did. but...i think it was more selfish now --- i should’ve given you the chance to try, at the very least.” and there it is...the delayed realization that he had fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him. “i’ve missed you too.” it feels too simple to say, because it the short sentence can’t even begin to explain how horribly he’s ached to hear her voice and feel her touch. “and i swear, amalie...i want to make things right between us. i don’t expect you to forgive me or anything, but i just...i don’t want to leave again.”

[markslaon-blog]

[shallowhearteds]

prepaids

sage would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t have nightmares about what she witnessed. it was gruesome. horrifying. a lot for someone who doesn’t even watch horror movies out of fear of the terrors they depict to see with her own two eyes. she tries to force those thoughts to the back of her head when she can, but it’s difficult, especially when she’s asleep and has no control over where her mind goes. there are nights when she finds herself springing up from the sheets in a cold sweat and unable to fall back asleep afterwards. she’s been trying to combat that with soothing baths and essential oils, but they haven’t done much for her. it’s a wonder that she’s been able to maintain her calm and collected DISPOSITION for so long. she wasn’t necessarily expecting to break down, but she’s aware of her emotional fragility and the potential that lies there. her vision shifts from daniel to the waffles, and she quickly moves towards the toaster to plate them. his words sound a bit forced; she’s not sure if he’s uncomfortable, or if she’s genuinely done something wrong, but assumes she’ll find out in due time. she hopes that he’s comfortable with her though. even though these aren’t the best circumstances, and they’re practically strangers, she wants to have that element of comfort between them. “i’m fine with whatever. you don’t have to though,” she tells him with a nod, putting some sliced strawberries on her place before turning around to face him again. “is there a specific kind of fruit you want? i already sliced some strawberries, but i wouldn’t mind cutting up a banana or an orange.” now that they’re talking, she decides to dig just a little bit deeper. she’s not ready to venture into anything heavy with him; she might not ever do that. but some LIGHTHEARTED conversation that isn’t small talk could be useful. “by the way… i was thinking about planting a garden in the back,” she tells him, gesturing to the window that faced their backyard. she’s not sure exactly what she wants planted there: she’s not sure how well fruits and vegetables will do in a space like theirs, and she doesn’t know if he likes wildlife enough to have something that attracts it. she just figures talking about and possibly including him in her hobbies will encourage him to talk about his, and maybe even share something with her. “what do you think?”

“it’s no problem, i don’t mind. seems only fair to divide the work.” and that’s all it is --- a principle of fairness instilled somewhere deep inside him that motivates his offer rather than genuinely trying to cross some theoretically bridge that divides them. because they ARE strangers...both of their pasts hidden from each other as they converse in stilted small talk that usually ends with trailed off sentences and awkward silences before elliot mutters an excuse to duck away. “i’m fine without the fruit --- thanks, though.” but she seems to be tossing a rope across the divide now with her next topic --- one that inches its way outside of idle chatter and into a different category all together. “uh, that sounds fine, i guess.” he reaches to scratch the back of his neck, trying to keep his expression neutral as he fights off a cringe at how UNCERTAIN he sounds when approached with a simple question. but what does elliot know of domestic things like gardens and friendly conversation? the last few years of his life had been so stained by violence and harsh words that the SOFTNESS in her voice is enough to set him on edge. “i don’t...really know much about gardens, so i’ll trust your judgement on it.”

[shallowhearteds]

notyourgbf

  “And here I was thinking my pet was problematic.” The comment is slightly sarcastic, a smile undercutting its potential. Truthfully, he wouldn’t change anything about his dog for the world. A low bark sounds from the doorway, and the old bulldog waddles purposefully into the room, sniffing at Sawyer’s shoes before lying on them in hopes of getting a good belly rub. “That’s Moody, and I’m Derrick. Welcome to Casa Morgan.” There’s a grand gesture to the meager apartment chock full of nerdy memorabilia before he starts rifling through the fridge and fishes a couple of soda cans from its depths. He sets them on the small table, suddenly realizing Sawyer might not like what he’s chosen. “I’ve…got other drinks if you’re not much of a Pepsi person.” There’s a sudden fit of nervousness, and he clears his throat, fussily combs an errant lock of hair back from his face. “Uh, anyway, have a seat. I’ll get some plates.”

“Oh yeah, no, my cat is nuts.” That was putting it lightly. “I’ll probably wait a while before introducing you two, because she’s quite the handful.” He was already so confident of this becoming a recurring thing --- of being invited back and getting to hang out more that the sentence tumbles easily from his lips without a second thought. His attention is swayed though as a lumbering bulldog plops down on top of his shoes, and Sawyer obliges the dog happily, squatting down so that he can easily scratch its stomach. He spends a few moments down there while the other rifles through the fridge, muttering vague phrases of how good of a dog he is, and isn’t he such a handsome guy? Surely he couldn’t stayed down there for hours and given the dog as much attention as it could handle, but he hears the quiet click of a refrigerator door closing and realizes it’s probably not the most POLITE thing to enter someone’s apartment and only pay attention to their pet. He gives Moody one last quick scratch behind the ears before turning back towards the other male --- Derrick --- as he begins to speak again. “Pepsi is perfect, thanks.” He’s finally rising back off the floor, pushing himself back into a standing position as he heads over to the table and seats himself down. “I hope you’re starving, because I kinda got a lot of tacos.”

[fxlineforgotten]

                                                “—She is a { m e s s }

                                    of   contradictions  ;

                                                            E L E G A N T  yet  (W I L D)

                                     C L E V E R   yet

                                                  (I M P U L S I V E ) ”