ShangaanQueen

Articulate free spirited God fearing content soul

[squishywuwu]

I have a different center of gravity

the world does not revolve around me.

built with a purpose for others to feel

loved & seen.

someone out the ordinary

far from the in between

seeking those glistening of hope

so their soul never feels broke

I’m much like you

you are much like me

i didn’t follow instructions

& you were built perfectly

-Ty

[aetas-aurea]

I want to add my contribution to the micro-racism micro-sexism conversation because I think it is missing something crucial which is the logical response to all of it, which I have termed micro-bitching. I love putting people in their place. I think it is one of the most important and underrated skills a woman can possess, esp. if you're WOC, and I will die on this hill with a full face and perfect posture. I do not perform graciousness at my own expense, I do not absorb mistreatment with a polite smile and call it dignity because that is not dignity, that is being a doormat.

I was recently on a date at a restaurant with a notoriously long waiting list and we were seated directly next to the server station. Like right next to it. In the middle of constant foot traffic, noise, people brushing past, in the least desirable seat in the building by someone who didn't think I’d say anything. I looked at the waitress and asked kindly if we could move to one of the back tables since those were empty. She looked back at me and performed not understanding, which was interesting because I had been extremely clear. I repeated myself and she then shifted into passive aggressive mode and began explaining that people would be passing by the back table too. I said excuse me. She said you can sit there but we're going to pass there too. I asked one final time until finally her colleague stepped in and gave us a straightforward yes, you can sit there. I gave the original waitress the dirtiest look I have ever assembled in my life and she received it fully and finally shut up and we moved and she didn't come back for the rest of our evening and that was that.

As I was translating and we settled into conversation, a woman at the next table leaned over and asked what I had ordered because it looked delicious (tartelettes aux pommes et glace vanille bc I'm basic af) but that was not really what she was asking. She had been listening and was looking for an entry point, and we got into a conversation since she wanted to know more about me, what I study, where I grew up and how I switched between 2 languages so effortlessly (Americans). Her husband was there too, both physicians, she worked in drug development, lovely people, a few genuinely warm exchanges and then I turned back to my date.

If you come for me intentionally I will ruin your day as a baseline and escalate from there based entirely on my mood and how much you have offended my sensibilities and I will do it while remaining perfectly pleasant to everyone else in the room. If I absorb it quietly I am confirming your assumption that it was safe to try. That people like me can be treated this way without recourse. I refuse to be that confirmation for anyone. Not for myself and not for everyone who comes after me and looks like me and will sit across from the same waiter, the same colleague, the same person in the same room making the same calculation about what they can get away with. You will NOT get away with disrespecting my people. And if that makes me dramatic, difficult, excessive, unbothered…. then so be it!

[aetas-aurea]

So many women have internalized the idea that being difficult makes people think less of them, when in my experience the opposite is almost always true. Every single time I have spoken up, voiced what I actually need and refused to shrink the moment in order to be more comfortable for everyone else in the room, I have been approached afterward by people who wanted to know me better. There is no reward waiting for you on the other side of making yourself smaller. People do not love you more for taking up less space, they simply get used to you taking up less space and adjust their expectations accordingly. Every time I have been exactly as audacious as the moment required, it has opened doors rather than closed them and I have made real connections directly because of it rather than in spite of it.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[faustique]

i love friendships that influence me to be kinder, smarter and healthier. i love when people have a positive impact on me.

[dilaaminspo]

Spa days are the best.

[sandyminn]

I love being educated. I love learning & finding new things that intrigue me. I love knowing my brain is inevitably growing.

[kaikartel]

she’s a reflection of how you pour into her, remember that

[pragyayawhatever]

We can't date casually. We can't casually have sex. There's nothing casual about being in my space. I'm a real lover. There is nothing casual about my intimacy.

There is nothing casual about my heart!

[abrontegirl]

“in another lif-“

i hope we’ll never meet in another life. i hope i’ll just walk pass you and treat you like a normal person instead of putting you at the center of my life and your nonchalance won’t cut me like a sharp truth that comes within right in the middle of a random night. i hope i won’t try for you in another life and won’t even lift my finger to reach you. in another life i hope i know my worth and you don’t have any.

[becherdireinen]

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

[becherdireinen]

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

[expensiveity]

to every woman holding on to a man who doesn’t value you—let this be your reminder: you don’t have to beg to be loved, respected, or chosen. if he can’t see your worth, that’s his loss, not a reflection of your value. you were not created to shrink for someone who can’t meet you where you are. God will never send you someone who confuses you, drains you, or makes you question your worth. walk away with your head high. what God has for you will never have to be forced. you deserve a love that’s certain, gentle, + God-sent. don’t settle for anything less than the peace, clarity, + respect that aligns with who you are + who you’re becoming. healing starts when you choose you.

[expensiveity]

everything i’ve been through was training for the life i’m about to step into. i took every hit, every setback, every moment they counted me out — and i turned it into fuel. i was built in the fire, and now i’m untouchable. i’ve been resilient when i had every reason to break, and i came back sharper, stronger, and hungrier. this next chapter? it’s mine. the blessings that are lining up for me can’t be blocked, delayed, or stolen. no one can stop what God has already stamped with my name.

this is my season and i’m not leaving empty-handed.

[fallencalliope]

My palpitation rises with every whispered word,

Describing all that you want to do to me,

Drawing the most sensuous image into my mind,

Of how exactly I should be loved,

Grazing your fingers along my arms,

Leading me into a path where I am far too gone now,

My heart becoming so insatiably unsteady,

Stuck in this moment with you...

©️fallencalliope

[thereignclub-trc]

What you do in private, shows in public. Reading shows in a conversation. Your diet shows in energy. Your discipline shows in confidence. Your focus shows in your results. You are what you cultivate when no one is watching. Prioritize your time & focus on discipline/consistency.

[jusbyu]

You deserve a healthy love with somebody who sees you, hears you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, and loves you. You deserve to be with somebody who brings you peace, calmness and consistency. A gentle love that brings out your soft side – not your survival side.