A Season of Thanks and Abundance in a Season of Famine! Why Plan, Why not Outline?
It’s amazing how things work out. Amidst all the chaos, hectic happenings and absolute unknowing of what is to come (because my life is proof that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, even when I try to “plan”, so I might as well just stop fooling myself) I feel a complete and serene calm. I’m a little scatter brained because of everything that is going on and the pace that it is happening at, but I feel awesome!!! I’ve dabbled, tried, put effort into and wanted several things in my life. Some I’ve succeeded and some have been a complete and utter, comical disaster. But one thing is for sure, EVERYTHING that I have ever TRULY wanted, longed for, given my 150% in blood, sweat and tears and then held it up to God for HIS blessings, guidance and ultimately HIS PLAN, I have succeeded at and arrived victoriously at! Those everythings and anythings that I held up to him, I am now understanding why they worked out. Because all I had for them was an outline…not a plan. I knew what I wanted or needed…but not necessarily how it was going to happen, so I prayed, worked hard, prayed a lot more and worked even harder while praying. The things I planned or try to control…well…
Life doesn't always happen the way you plan it, or sometimes, how you want it to or imagine that it will. But isn't that the point? Sure, we may have ambitions, make plans and have expectations. And rightfully so. - I am in no way advocating traits of irresponsibility, lack or ambition, lack of planning or cause to never be concerned- But I have yet to meet someone that truly does. I feel that people exhibit those traits when they feel FAILURE. Which essentially turns into FEAR. They turn and run. I feel that it is in those moments of your life that you should look in the mirror for a good long minute and ask yourself “what truly happened?” Look at your life as if it was an outer body experience. Sometimes when you look at a sequence of events that you’re not standing in the middle of, you see, with greater clarity, the betterment of events that is to come. Turn and run to a mirror, you’ll be able to see both behind yourself and in front.
Think about it, when we “fail”, because we all do, did we really? Did I really? Especially when something greater than you could have ever imagined comes out of it…even if it is unknown. This could turn into a long philosophical discussion about what success really is, you know, the “true” definition. Is success judge by standards you set yourself or by what society dictates? Is it monetary? Or is it how you live your life? Is success contextually relative or just flat out across the board? I feel that this is where questions like those arise and spark thought and debate but I’ll try to keep my point on the shorter rather than longer.
Failure doesn't mean that something was bad all along and you fell flat on your face. And it doesn't mean that when something GOOD comes to an end that it was not good enough to continue. Because we all think that sometimes. I know I definitely do, I was thinking that at the beginning of this week, that “Oh, man, it was too good to be true” feeling. I ran to a mirror, actually, I just pulled down my sun visor in my car and opened the mirror, but that’s beside the point. I drove to my temple of serenity (church) and topped it off with confession. I would've thrown in a Yoga session too, my other serenity, but I didn't have time. I had to check myself and get into an aerial view. I needed to reaffirm what I knew and know is true, what I knew wasn't failing but only beginning.
I feel these moments of “failure” throughout our lives bring on feelings of awkwardness, embarrassment, self-doubt, spiritual doubt, lack of confidence, comparison to others (Ahh FB, you’re the main culprit that makes this so readily available and possible), lack of focus, sometimes depression and complete distraction. I feel that it shouldn't. I feel that it should empower you to push harder, for more. To want more, to put your blinders on and say that you are worthy of more and will ask for more. To focus on yourself, know what you know, do what you do, and do it to the best of your knowledge and capability. In the chaos of my scattered brain, I am laser focused.
If you don’t know “bad” how can you know “good”? If you don’t know “okay” how can you know “better”? If you don’t know “failure” how can you know “success”? If you know you have a good thing but it could be better…why be afraid of doing everything possible to make it better? To reach for better. To take a leap of faith and just jump because you might soar. Why be afraid to change in order to make a good situation better?
I have a really good thing, my husband has a really good thing, we have a really good life. It’s so crazy, but oh good. Ahh, the chaos, you want an entertaining story, come have coffee with me! So this afternoon, I am telling better to watch out, because my wingspan is spreading out and ready to soar. In this outline of my life I am asking God to make it not only better, but MIRACULOUS, in every way! Look around at your life there are buds just waiting to blossom!
My Thanks and Evidence of things overflowing in my life-
Thank you to God for all of my blessings in abundance, even when I don’t see them clearly.
Thank you to my wonderful husband, best friend, partner in crime, lover and business collaborator who is always by my side cheering me on, telling me the truth even when I suck, and also the first to high five me. Through you, through supporting you, through helping you cultivate your dreams I have rediscovered my own! You are so talented and one of my role models!
To my beautiful daughter, you force me to be the best that I can be. You make me push harder to set a good example for you and deliver something, someone for you to look up to and admire-A woman and mother to smile at, proudly.
Thank you to all of those who support me both near and far.