bring the light

[shcdowdrcgon]

a study in being the black sheep, found family, hyper-independence, innocence lost, naivety, checked privilege, fighting blind obedience, inferiority complexes, idolization.

an independent selective and private roleplay blog for SYLVANA CALIXTUS - a canon divergent shadow dragon rook from bioware's dragon age: the veilguardwritten by VIC

follows back from: @plusdedragonne / carrd

blogroll: @crownari / @diamantecantori

FOR PERSONAL REASONS, I WILL NOT BE FOLLOWING BACK ANYONE WHO WRITES WITH OR IS FRIENDS WITH MELODY (ALITLANTERN/SAINTHEKLA/EVERGREENFIRE/FORGIVENTRUTH), ROSARIO (URL UNKNOWN), OR ARES (FADEMADE/TALESWRITTEN/SPAWNMADE/MURDERMADE)

[crownmemes]

Daddy Issues Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences for discussing the effects of an absent parent and/or confronting one's own father. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"We need to discuss your father."

"You don't care about your family's legacy?"

"What is it in me you hate so much? All I ever wanted was to live up to you."

"If you bring disgrace on this family, you will regret it."

"Do you think if I were more like you, he would have loved me more? If I was normal?"

"I spent my childhood trying to work out if my dad was only mean or just plain bad."

"I don't want to be a burden to you..."

"When I was a boy, I wanted to impress my dad so much. No matter how hard I tried, I always fell short."

"You're too hard on yourself. You always have been."

"Our parents aren't perfect, but they're trying their best."

"I don't underestimate my father, by the way. I understand him - sometimes more than I want to."

"From what my mum told me, I think you're my dad."

"I love you, I really do. It's just, somehow, it's hard for me to show that when you're here."

"We are not our parents until we choose to be."

"Even now, he still wants nothing to do with me."

"I know that rationally he isn't responsible for all the bad things in the world, but he is responsible for some of them."

"My dad doesn't even like me."

"Have you ever told your father what you just told me?"

"Stop. You're not my father."

"Is he really your father? He's scary."

"When was the last time your father told you he loved you?"

"Look at you; relieved you didn't disappoint. That's a weakness."

"Do you think our fathers would be proud of us?"

"What is a son's duty to his father? To respect him, even if he doesn't deserve our respect?"

"Your faults as a son are my failure as a father."

"You've done more for me in the past few days than my father's done in my entire life."

"I know this sounds impossible, but you have to talk to him. You have to show him who you are - what your heart is."

[shcdowdrcgon]

what do you think your oc smells like?

Sly typically just smells like plain soap, since she's not got access to her fancy things, but when she does, she smells like expensive perfume on top of the soap. She likes to smell good, but understands that that's not necessarily something that's beneficial when you're running around the streets of Minrathous.

@astramoirai

[mcflymemes]

ORIGINAL CHARACTER QUESTIONS & HEADCANONS * collection #1

how long ago did you create your oc? how did the idea come to you?

how would you describe your oc's core aesthetic?

if your oc had a theme song, what would it be?

what inspires you when writing your oc?

does your oc have a faceclaim? if so, why did you choose them? if they don't have a faceclaim, why not?

does your oc have any particular ties to certain fandoms? how do they fit into the dynamics of these fandoms and their existing characters?

what are some of your favorite ships with your oc?

what do you think makes your oc unique?

what qualities do you and your oc have in common?

what makes you and your oc different?

does your oc have any quirks or habits?

in your opinion, what's the hardest thing to do when creating an oc?

in your opinion, what's the easiest thing to do when creating an oc?

are there any canon characters that inspired your oc?

are there any canon characters you wish would interact with your oc?

what's your opinion on ocs in general?

do you have any hot takes about ocs?

what colors do you associate with your oc?

what do you think your oc smells like?

are there any important npcs in your oc's life? what are they like?

how would other characters describe your oc?

[shcdowdrcgon]

i am thinking tonight about sylvana's reaction to seeing her family out and about in minrathous, and, more likely, seeing her family during blood of arlathan.

in minrathous, she tends to freeze, and almost instinctively tries to shrink herself down. this is done via slouching, to physically reduce her visibility, but also in the way she speaks. her voice gets softer, she becomes more agreeable, even if she was arguing with you moments before. she comes away from any interaction with them on the verge of a panic attack.

in blood of arlathan, it is easier for her to focus on her job as rook. she mentally is in anguish, and indeed, this is what elgar'nan picks at when he speaks to her in her mind. promising a happy family, a family that loves and accepts her for who she is, being able to go home as the scion of house calixtus. physically, though, she has a job and she will do that job. free the captives. free the dalish.

her parents, when they see her, regardless of where they are, are quick to berate her for joining the veilguard, and cut to the core as only parents who abuse children are able to. they make her question everything she's ever done, and remind her that they only say these things because they love her and want what's best for her. this is, as you can guess, a lie. they don't like that they cannot control their younger daughter.

her sister is the sticking point. the point of contention. sly believes her sister could be convinced to rebel against their parents, to join her and make the world a better place. she both loves and despises sabine, and her complicated feelings are increased when sabine just rolls over and does what her parents wish. while she never actively antagonizes sylvana, she never steps in, and never has.

no matter how they run into each other, though, it ends the same. she is a mess and they leave thinking that she's a disgrace. there is nothing anyone can do about it. she does try, at some point, to beg her father to reconsider joining the venatori. this fails. he ends up as one of the magisters elgar'nan uses to control the blight during end game, and she grieves privately for months.

[shcdowdrcgon]

@aestuum said: ❝ there are things even gods cannot control. ❞

she wants to believe that. she wants to believe that gods cannot control everything, but with all the stories she's heard... sylvana thinks of her parents. whether it was truly the maker or not, they were controlled by him, and now by the venatori and their risen gods. was that not proof that nothing was safe?

"... do you really think so, casadh?" her voice comes out smaller than she means it to. she's supposed to be in charge. she's supposed to be the leader. solas is in her head. how much of her thoughts are being actively influenced by him? "isn't that their whole thing, controlling everything?"

[shcdowdrcgon]

I wrote a thing about Sly from her year of torture.

Reader discretion is advised.

No actual torture is described, but still. Here it is.

[dreadblaidd]

Open Starter || Veilguard expanded veilguard verse - open to anyone, not just Rooks

The Veil is a strange, porous thing in Minrathous. Even from his prison, Solas felt its puncture wounds; hundreds of small and poorly mended rifts tearing through a city already teeming with spirits. The blood of elves both ancient and modern buttressed its foundations, and its towering spires were held aloft by thousands from the Fade, unwillingly bound. The Venatori’s rituals only served to destabilize it further.

The Veil felt so thin that Solas could sense a presence draw near a forgotten Fen’harel altar in the bowels of the city. He reached out with the altar as a conduit, and his muted magic brushed the mind of the person passing by.

“There is a powerful spirit ahead of you,” he warned without preamble, his voice like a shadow in the corner of one’s eye. “You should turn back now, unless you are prepared to face it.”

[shcdowdrcgon]

Minrathous is full of danger, and secrets, this Sylvana knows to be true. Especially danger concerning the Veil, something she had been taught to be wary of before her abrupt departure from the Circle there. A thin Veil, and a host of negative emotions in a city built on slavery and blood, made it a prime target for.. what did Emmrich call them? Malign spirits.

A familiar brush of magic, her mind having slowly adjusted to the god that temporarily resided there, and she finds herself glancing around to see an old Fen’harel altar. Of course. It isn’t that she dislikes speaking with the elvhen mage; on the contrary, she finds herself listening intently whenever they are together in the Fade. “Do you know what kind of spirit it is? Not a friendly one if you’re warning me, Solas.”

She reaches back, hands grasping her staff and bringing it in front of her. If it seemed a battle she could win, one less demon in Minrathous was always a good thing. The lyrium in her veins causes pinpricks across her skin as she readies herself to fight. Even if she turns back, there’s no guarantee a demon won’t seek her out regardless.

[shcdowdrcgon]

I wrote a thing about Sly from her year of torture.

Reader discretion is advised.

No actual torture is described, but still. Here it is.

[leneemusing]

send REFLECT for me to explain a traumatic event in my muses’s past and talk about their perception of events,  which parts have stayed with them longest and how it affects them now.  (  sender can request specific scenes/backstory  )

[shcdowdrcgon]

so sorry to both lucanis and solas, sly is a tea drinker.

[busyw0man]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞

❝ are you sure you still want me? ❞

❝ i’m sorry i’m like this. ❞

❝ you probably wish you were with someone else. ❞

❝ i just… i don’t feel good enough. ❞

❝ maybe if i were different, you'd love me more. ❞

❝ i don’t know what you see in me. ❞

❝ i always mess things up, don’t i? ❞

❝ you’re going to leave eventually… everyone does. ❞

❝ i know i’m a lot to handle. ❞

❝ i feel like i’m constantly bothering you. ❞

❝ i bet you don’t miss me when i’m gone. ❞

❝ please don’t lie to me. not about this. ❞

❝ i can feel you slipping away. ❞

❝ i wish i could be better for you. ❞

❝ you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. ❞

❝ i’m scared you’ll wake up one day and realize you don’t love me. ❞

❝ i try so hard, but it never feels like enough. ❞

❝ you don’t need to pretend to care. ❞

❝ you don’t look at me the same anymore. ❞

❝ do you ever wish you’d picked someone else? ❞

❝ i know you deserve better. ❞

❝ just tell me if you’re tired of me. i can take it. ❞

❝ i keep comparing myself to everyone else. ❞

❝ it hurts when you talk to them more than me. ❞

❝ if you stop loving me… please just tell me. ❞

❝ i know i’m not pretty enough. ❞

❝ maybe if i were quieter. softer. less clingy. ❞

❝ i just need to know you still care. ❞

❝ you say it’s fine, but it never feels like it. ❞

❝ i get so scared that one day you’ll stop trying. ❞

❝ i’m not asking you to fix me, i just don’t want to be alone in this. ❞

❝ am i too much? ❞

❝ is it really okay to need this much reassurance? ❞

❝ you don’t have to love me out of pity. ❞

❝ sometimes i wonder if you’d be happier without me. ❞

❝ i’m sorry i keep asking i just need to hear it. ❞

❝ you don’t say ‘i love you’ as often anymore. ❞

❝ i feel invisible when you're around other people. ❞

❝ i wish i didn’t care this much. ❞

❝ i don’t want to lose you… but i feel like i already have. ❞

[laskulls-deactivated20250318]

My entire playthrough

[laskulls-deactivated20250318]

[mcflymemes]

"STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO DANGER!" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for expressing your fear that the person you care about might get themselves hurt if they keep acting like this, adjust as necessary

i thought i told you to stay back.

i love you too much to let you get hurt like this.

this affects me, too, you know.

every time you leave, i sit up all night waiting, praying you'll come back alive.

you keep pulling stunts like this and something bad will happen.

do you have a death wish or something?

this isn't fair to me.

i deserve better than this.

i didn't get any sleep last night because i was so worried about you.

you promised me you'd stop going out at night.

i don't like hearing this.

you've been risking your life, and for what? so you can feel like a goddamn hero?

i said i would handle it.

what the fuck are you doing here?

you told me you'd stay put.

so much for laying low.

you remember how bad it was last time.

seems like you haven't learned anything.

i believe you promised me you'd lay low.

i can't keep doing this.

don't give me that look.

we'll discuss this later.

this stops now.

i'm tired of picking up the pieces once you've left.

you keep throwing yourself into danger.

you don't give a shit about yourself, do you?

i'm sitting here, worried out of my mind, while you're out doing god knows what.

that was really stupid of you, and you know it.

i thought you knew better than this.

what's your excuse this time?

you do realize what this does to me, right? seeing you get hurt like this? you know it hurts me, too?

you really don't give a shit how this affects me, huh.

that was the dumbest possible thing you could have done.

i need you to stop throwing yourself into harm's way.

that was completely unnecessary.

they had it handled.

you didn't need to step in like that.

why do you think you're invincible?

the last time you pulled a stunt like this, it nearly got you killed.

i can't just sit here and watch you get hurt.

what are you trying to prove?

you just like fucking with my heart, don't you.

this shit hurts me, too, you know.

you're not the only one affected by this shit.

you've got a lot of people counting on you to come home every night.

what happens if you don't come back?

you think we can just carry on without you?

you think i can handle things if you end up dead?

i'm not sticking around to watch you get hurt.

you're not even slick.

you think you're invincible, don't you.

quit pretending you've got everything under control.

let someone else do it for a change.

you can't keep putting yourself through shit like this and expect me to just sit back and watch.

i'm done with this.

next time you do this, i'm not coming back.

promise me this is the end.

look me in the eyes and tell me you'll stop doing this.

let the authorities deal with it.

you're making a big mistake.

is it worth dying for?

i've dealt with enough pain over the years.

[plusdedragonne]

i’m thinking thoughts on the year of blood magic torture sylvana went through and how it shaped her and her views of blood magic as well as how it affected her psyche and what sort of scars, physical and mental, she still carries from that.

i may actually write those thoughts down tomorrow.

[shcdowdrcgon]

i'm here to actually put into words my thoughts around this now so buckle up!

sylvana's parents essentially did what dorian's father threatened to. she was subjected to about a year of torture, of being sliced open and puppeteered, manipulated into trying to fix her back into the perfect heir to the magisterium. there was blood magic involved, rituals that were meant to change her, and while they would work for short amounts of time, ultimately she would require more and more things done to make her compliant.

the damage done to the girl's psyche is immense. she spends the first few months after being kicked out terrified of everyone she meets. she hides in the shadows, she avoids speaking to people, until she meets ashur who brings her somewhere safe. she gets healing for the wounds she still sustains, a warm meal in her belly, and is introduced to the shadow dragons. she's still pretty young to join up, but she does her best to help by supplying information, following venatori around, and helping guide runaway slaves or people in trouble to the shadows.

prior to being officially kicked out and disowned, she had been taught that blood magic is a secret tactic, that officially it is frowned on, but behind closed doors it was more than okay. after everything, she hates blood magic just as much if not more than neve does. when there are blood mages around, they get stopped first, swiftly and with little to no mercy.

her body is covered in scars from the mages her father hired slicing into her to power their rituals, and mentally she's never fully recovered from what she went through. she refuses to talk about it with anyone, not even the other shadow dragons, which makes it hard for her to heal from it. when she does run into her family, a not impossible thing given that minrathous is minrathous, she freezes up, then tries to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible.

her father ends up being one of the magisters elgar'nan uses to fuel the blight. she has incredibly conflicted feelings about it, and again, refuses to talk about it.

[uniiicornsources-old]

send 💞 + a question about my muse's relationships for my muse to answer

this could be about relationships in general (romantic, platonic, familial) or about a specific relationship in particular.

[busyw0man]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

❝ you don’t have to say anything just let me stay with you. ❞

❝ i’m here, and i’m not going anywhere. ❞

❝ you’re not alone. not while i’m around. ❞

❝ want me to hold your hand for a while? ❞

❝ i noticed you’ve been quiet lately. do you want to talk or just sit together? ❞

❝ you don’t have to pretend around me. i see you. ❞

❝ even when it feels like no one cares i do. always. ❞

❝ i brought your favorite snacks and something soft to wear. ❞

❝ let’s watch something silly and forget the world for a while. ❞

❝ you don’t have to be strong for me. i’ve got you. ❞

❝ can i just hold you for a little while? ❞

❝ i don’t know the right words, but i’m not leaving. ❞

❝ take all the time you need i’ll still be right here. ❞

❝ you don’t have to carry this alone anymore. ❞

❝ your feelings are valid. every single one of them. ❞

❝ just rest. i’ll stay until you fall asleep. ❞

❝ even in silence, you matter to me. ❞

❝ let’s take it slow, okay? i’m with you. ❞

❝ you are so deeply loved even when you can’t feel it. ❞

❝ i see how hard you’re trying, and i’m so proud of you. ❞

❝ lean on me tonight. i’ll carry the heavy stuff for a while. ❞

❝ want to lay your head in my lap and breathe for a bit? ❞

❝ you don’t have to explain. i just want to make you feel safe. ❞

❝ no matter what your mind tells you you’re not a burden. ❞

❝ i can’t fix everything, but i can be here. and i am. ❞

❝ i’ll sit in the dark with you until you’re ready for the light again. ❞

❝ i don’t need you to be okay right now. i just need you to let me stay. ❞

❝ i’ll be the one who stays, even when it gets heavy. ❞

❝ i know it’s hard to ask for help. so don’t. i’m offering. ❞

❝ there’s nothing wrong with needing someone. i need you, too. ❞

❝ you don’t have to fix yourself to be worthy of love. ❞

❝ if it hurts, you can tell me. if you can’t speak, i’ll still stay. ❞

❝ you’ve made it through every hard day so far. and i’ll help you through this one. ❞

❝ i’m not scared of your sadness. you don’t scare me. ❞

❝ let me hold you until the world feels less loud. ❞

❝ we don’t need to talk. let me just be here with you. ❞

❝ your existence makes the world better, even when you feel like it doesn’t. ❞

❝ i love you. not in spite of your sadness, but including it. ❞

❝ i know you feel like no one sees you. but i do. i always do. ❞

❝ you mean more to me than you’ll ever know. ❞

❝ i’m not expecting a smile. i’m just staying close. ❞

❝ i know you’re hurting. i’ll keep showing up anyway. ❞

❝ you don’t have to feel okay for me to love you. ❞