That's What She Said

Everyone leaves.

[shedidntsaythat]

I have many things to update but for now here is the most disgusting picture of us that I can’t post anywhere else without being embarrassed because that’s gross even for us and I fucking love it.

[shedidntsaythat]

Nothing like getting in a fight with your significant other the day you tell him you’re moving to Key West to be with him 👍🏼👍🏼

It’s a long story, I’m too tired to write it out on my phone, but it’s basically just a big disconnect because of the distance, and a miscommunication and me being hypersensitive. It’ll be fine, especially because the problem is being solved by my move, I just hate this distance.

[shedidntsaythat]

so I’m moving to Key West ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have no reason to stay here anyway and we miss each other so much. He wants me there no matter what and I will find a job pretty quickly while I’m there. I just have to talk to my landlord about my lease and it’ll be official.

[shedidntsaythat]

I have a phone interview on Monday for a hospitality job in Key West.

It’s a glorified lifeguard position. I’ve actually been calling it Queen of Lifeguards. Anyway, it’s full time, which is nice, pays enough for me to make a ::little:: money and pay a bit of rent while I live with him and his roommate. That’s all I need until we move again and get settled. 

Fingers crossed?

[shedidntsaythat]

hi, yes, i hope to post more!

He is on a ship for three weeks where he will port three time at unknown times and for unknown lengths of time. But, we can e-mail back and forth and he gets on their fancy government phone to call me for like three minutes each night to say hello, love you, goodnight. 

Before he left he sent me two packages. One arrived before he left, it was a shirt that has his boat on it, annnd he wore it before he sent it so it smelled like him (i know, gross, puke, blahblahblahhh). The second came yesterday and it was a tank top from the bar we met. He’s so thoughtful. I love that. When I said I would wear it to teach the next day (I’m a barre instructor now...have I said that here?? another time.) and he said that’s why he bought that cut cuz he thought I could use it for work. SO THOUGHTFUL. 

It’s proving to be so difficult to be away from the person you know you’re meant to be with, but I also know it will be worth it. 

[shedidntsaythat]

I fell in love in Key West.

I met a boy and now we’re in love and I know it’s crazy, but that’s where we are. 

I just wanted to go and maybe hook up with as many people as I could and I had to fall in love???? 

On the second night I was there, I was swiping along on the ole Tinder machine and one of the guys messaged me, we happened to be at the same bar at the same time. Perfect, easy. Then we proceeded to spend the next four days together, basically non-stop. Then I decided that wasn’t enough and I extended my trip three more days to be with him. Then when it was time for me to drive back to Ft. Lauderdale for my flight, he got in the car with me. I wish I could say he got on the plane, but that would have gotten him court marshalled.

He’s a chef in the Coast Guard. He’s in Key West for the next six months and then will be moving to another location. He doesn’t know where yet, but he got to pick an order from a big list of jobs/locations. All of the positions he picked are land-based so he won’t have to go out to sea at all (he just left to go out to sea for three weeks today). I’ll be going with him. 

We are aware of how crazy this is, but I have never felt like this before, and I certainly have never had someone feel the same way. There are no games, we openly communicate about how we’re feeling, good and bad. I never have to think “ohhh does he like me? should i wait to text him? i shouldn’t say this, it’s too soon,” etc. 

I’m not an “everything happens for a reason” kind of person, but it’s clear that all the things that have happened to me lately (I recently lost my job at a place that I loved), were setting me up to meet this person. I always use to smile and nod when people said “when you know, you know!” But it’s true, I feel it, I know it.  

You may have questions, so please feel free to ask away (is anyone even still here?? i never know.)

[larmoyante]

I have a million things to talk to you about. A million things we have to talk about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.

Haruki Murakami,

Norwegian Wood

(via houseofjules2)

[girlvswhale]

Modern Romance

I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to think about me when he woke up in the middle of the night. I wanted him to pick up his phone and text me 100 times a day. I wanted him to take a deep breath when I appeared in a crowd. I wanted him to long for me, be reaching for me even when I was right next to him.

But he didn’t.

None of them ever have.

Not him, not him, nor him, not even him.

Not you.

I am ok with that now, but sometimes I wonder who I would be, where I would be, if I had moved on when I didn’t feel loved, instead of sticking around feeling adequate for far too long.

I think about you all the time. Who would I have been if you had loved me that much?

If you had wanted me as much as I had wanted you, we could have ruled the world. We could have been everything.

I’m OK with how it is now, but sometimes I still wonder.

I do.

I do

I do.

[shedidntsaythat]

First pic is what we were looking at as we ran down. Second pic is when we turned around and saw the rain. So we got an Uber to Starbucks and ditch the second half of our run.

He’s tough to read sometimes, but we stayed and talked for a long time at Starbucks and it was so, so good. He said things like, “we should do this all the time” (run/work out) and talked about coming to my house (first two dates were near his). Nothing to read into there! There just may be something here 🤗

[tana-the-dreamchaser]

Autumn, we welcome you

[shedidntsaythat]

I’m going on date 3 (or 4?) with 20 hour guy/just ask me out guy (scroll back) tomorrow. We’re going for a run. His idea, I was glad to accept. I think it’s fun to do out of the box dates. And I like him. So...here goes.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Lonely is not being alone. It’s the feeling that no-one cares.”

— Wordporn

[shedidntsaythat]

HELLO BOY FROM LAST WEEK JUST ASK ME OUT ALREADY

[shedidntsaythat]

I am Exhausted, so Why am I Still Awake?

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“She loves hard because she knows how it feels to be loved so little.”

— iliketoquote.com

[shedidntsaythat]

Not having a job means I’m home all day and the construction on the apartments next door is driving me mad.

[shedidntsaythat]

I went on a 20 hour date

We went for drinks and then back to his place and then we went to breakfast then back to his place to watch football. He seems like he genuinely likes me. I hate when I like a guy!! Because then there is a chance of getting rejected! Or hurt! Yay!