hey i just wanna update with a little bit of my life if anybody cares at all.
so its been a crazy year. obviously got off tumblr. and probably it will stay that way. just growing up and thats ok! I moved schools and go to a tiny little charter school. its an IB school and I have been insanely busy trying to keep up with the curriculum.
I got a job as a hostess at a cajun restaurant. It keeps me busy as well, and I probably work more than I should but thats ok. I like it a lot there and it pays very very well! I have been working very hard mainly to pay for a trip to Tibet that my new school offers over the summer. I just finished paying off the course tuition and am unbelievably excited for it!!
The new school is good. The new people are good. Good, not great. I still am slightly dissatisfied and find myself floating slightly. My eyes largely are set on college, and what new adventures and people that will bring me because I’ve always felt a little disconnected with the people around me. A couple places I’m interested are Hendrix, Rhodes College, and Ouachita Baptist!! I’ve been studying very hard and keeping my grades up and my hopes are very high.
Me and Austin broke up after two and a half years of being together. And, although I didn’t expect it, I’m doing ok. there was a time in my life when I thought I couldnt live without him, but when he broke up with me I realized that I would be just fine. It has been very very hard but we are still friends. We had lunch for the first time since our breakup in march last saturday. It was an after an SAT subject test and I was exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot, and I could tell he was high. It made me sad to know that he was still using, because he had to go to rehab for five months while we were dating at one point. It made me realize that you choose to love every day, and you choose to see the best in someone, and that is all cute and sweet to say during the relationship but afterwards it is still your choice. I have been learning not to love him and I think it is going pretty well. I dont think ill date anyone for a while simply because im not a very flirty person and people arent very attracted to me, although i would like to get back to dating. it is a little hard because i plan on going to college out of state, but you never know what might happen!!
My brother became a marine, and im so proud. My mom and him fought for so long about whether or not hed go to school, but at the end of the day it just isnt for everyone. He is going where he needs to be and i am so happy.
This year has been hard. But i am doing just fine. my heart is heavy but somehow everything feels a lot lighter. writing this helped a lot too. tumblr made me very happy throughout high school and I am glad I had an outlet to just write like this. and im glad i had people and friendships here.
Ill probably check in again, I just dont know when. I think its best for these things to happen whenever I dont know they will happen, if that makes sense. i hope who ever reads this understands me a little better and that your night is a little lighter if it has been heavy.
