[sheisbetweenworlds]

writing a book for my grandmother. her life and her struggles. i want to give her a beautiful ending to match the full life she has lived. seeking out answers, asking to be retold things i have been told a million times (“we used to have to go under the house and clean out the chicken mess.”), clarifying details. she shall live on in this book.

[sheisbetweenworlds]

a writer’s prayer to God / the ancestors / self

“Restore to me what was already given, but deeply hidden and thus forgotten. Bring to the light that which shall not be left in the darkness.”

[sheisbetweenworlds]

and i think sometimes novels can be written, in part, as witness statements. short but descriptive stories of something that has occurred. writers as witnesses.

[sheisbetweenworlds]

the ring of the landline could be heard throughout the house except it was more of a rattle than a ring. the signal that alerts you to the presence of a snake. what the snake offered to you depended on how you saw it. would you seek out its poison to cancel out that which already lived inside of you? or would you hide from it, detesting what you do not even know to be real?

[sheisbetweenworlds]

God made things beautiful because God understood the importance of beautiful things in inspiring life. God made things ugly because God understood the importance of ugliness in relation to beauty, but also the importance of ugliness as something vital and natural in life. (Where does suffering come from? Where does happiness come from?) Ugliness creates beauty and beauty creates ugliness. There is ugliness in beauty and beauty in ugliness. They are inseparable, deeply intertwined, deeply necessitated by each other.

[sheisbetweenworlds]

A Night Out (written by me)

plush red lips

soft, wide, inviting

placed solidly on a dark surface

high heels holding up glass

fragile and clear

footsteps across a floor dancing

with pink and white lights

awkward, unsure, a bit inhibited

a bit of playing at being free

my eyes dance across the room

touching the ceiling, stars blink back at me

hopping across the floor as though lava were there

“hold your head up, you deserve to be there”

a bathroom break

curves reimagined from head to toe

painted in the color of the sky, cherry blossoms, and grapes

sweet, open, full of nectar

open the door

step inside

see

“do it anyway, the time will pass anyway”

feel

“life is what you make it beautiful”

[crucifiedlovers]

“Or, like the poets, are you stimulated by despair, does grief move you to reveal your nature?”

— Louise Glück, “Vespers” from The Wild Iris  

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Elements

God gave me lightning bolts and clouds. Thunder that quakes and rumbles. A wind to flow with and into.

God gave me mountains and valleys and hills. Valleys touched and molded with love.

There is a piece of the center of the earth inside of me that warms the hot spring God gave me.

God gave me fields of strawberries.

God gave me a river that runs and runs and runs.

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Living in poverty is so traumatizing. Often times, poverty is more than just not having money for food or bills. Sometimes, you can afford to buy groceries and pay your bills while still living in poverty. You can live in a family home, which was filled with so much love and comfort and safety, and have it suddenly transformed into a monster house that eats away at you. The walls start to fall apart, there are constant plumbing problems, and you wake up to shit and unexplained bites. Initially, these things are jarring but mildly inconvenient. You can live with them. And then something happens and it is among the worse things that could ever happen and it is not resolved for months. And you wonder why is it happening to you? The helplessness leaving you stuck in a situation that you could’ve resolved yourself had you looked past what wasn’t there and looked at what was.

It happens slowly. You can call it strength, but I call it survival. A being fed-up. A sadness so deep it feels like you can only reach it through other people. A frustration that sprinkles out. A will to live.

What gets me through it? Love. When I think of inaction, I think of it as how I have met understanding. When I think of misfortune, I think of how it has transformed into gratitude. You never know how true are things until they become your reality, but I have recited to myself many times my teacher’s quote, “No mud, no lotus.”

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Use your writing to explore the things you cannot understand. Imagine what it must be like on the other side of understanding.

[anistarrose]

hyperfixating on a fictional woman who went underdeveloped in canon is literally FUN and the 80-90% of fandom people who only do the same for background character men have no idea of the degree to which they are fucking missing out

[anistarrose]

no tumblr i have faith that this post will be found by the enlightened 10-20 percent

[ID from alt: the "post without tags" pop up. End ID.]

[anistarrose]

hour 1 of thinking about an underdeveloped woman: idk it would've been nice if she had more screentime

hour 100 of thinking about an underdeveloped woman: ok but despite having only eight lines of dialogue she is literally THE most interesting nuanced and tragic character in the entire series and these writers had no idea what they even had. how is no one else seeing this it's literally so objectively obvious

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Concentric Circle Art

Kids Art Lesson: Kandinsky Inspired Concentric Circles Collage

Kids Art Lesson - Concentric Circles Collage inspired by Wassily Kandinsky's famous "Farbstudie Quadrate" (Squares with Concentric Circles/R

[sheisbetweenworlds]

One day I will write a book inspired by Revelations and written in the style of Revelations and it will be about a woman’s revelations. I am picturing it now and it is inspiring me to read more works by female spiritual thinkers and the Bible!

[despazito]

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Projects I Want to Commit To

video essays

reading and researching stories (folk tales/fables/fairy tales)

videos where I read my favorite picture books

stop motion animations that feature original and retold stories (made of clay figures)

learning to play simple tunes on the piano

[sheisbetweenworlds]

Make a Stop Motion Animation - for Beginners

Make a Stop Motion Animation - for Beginners: Have you ever wondered how those Pixar movies are made? Or how Aardman does it, with Shaun the

[sheisbetweenworlds]

What I am experiencing now is akin to having a piece of furniture that you really adore but have no proper space for, so you place it in a mildly inconvenient spot. You typically remember where it is so you do not bump into it, but sometimes when you are distracted or caught up in something, you forget and BUMP! You keep bumping into it and finally you think, “Things need to change!” And the hardship I feel now boils down to whether I want to keep my favorite piece of furniture and get rid of something else or get rid of the thing that I love. Or perhaps I just need to rearrange things in my home! But is the effort worth it? I thought about it more and the piece of furniture is not thinking so much about its place in my home. It just is. I would like to simply place the furniture in the right spot where I can comfortably enjoy its presence.