When I think about it, I think my favourite thing about Spike is that he does the work, you know? He's the only significant man in Buffy's life, let alone of her love interests, that actually takes a good, hard look at himself and decides that he needs to be better.
Angel, at least for the duration of his tenure on BtVS, doesn't change. He remains high-handed and paternalistic for the entirety of his relationship with Buffy, unilaterally making decisions 'for her own good' and ignoring what she, herself, wants. He makes the decisions. He doesn't accept when Buffy tries to. Literally. He does not accept her breaking up with him until it's time for him to break up with her.
Riley remains a misogynistic jerk who has an inferiority complex when it comes to his girlfriend. He also abdicates responsibility for his own damn actions when they all culminate in his life exploding in his face, and skips town without ever actually examining how he landed in that position. It's just Buffy's Fault, with no examination of his own culpability or thought processes.
Giles doubles down on his terrible decisions, especially in Season 6 onwards. He makes wrong call after wrong call, and gets offended when Buffy doesn't trust him anymore after he actively betrays her. Instead of doing anything to earn that trust back, he just fully turns on Buffy completely in Empty Places, and the fractures in their relationship are never addressed afterwards.
Less said about Xander, the happier I'll be. He starts the series as an entitled little shit and he ends the series not much better.
Hank abandons her. He just straight up peaces out and is never any help to Buffy, ever.
Spike, on the other hand, reaches his lowest point due to the implosion of his relationship with Buffy. In response, he realises that there's something he lacks, something he could do to be better, and then he does it. Not only does he do it--once it's done, he recognises that his feelings are his own problem and doesn't burden Buffy with them at all. He becomes a steady, nonjudgemental support when she needs it most, and asks nothing of her for it. He expresses his love with no anticipation of reciprocation, just states it as fact and explicitly states that he's not asking for anything in return. He just loves her. For her. He doesn't need her to love him back. Yeah, it would be nice, but that's not the point. He changes for and because of her. Loving her transforms him at a fundamental level, and he is a better person for it. None of that is a burden he places on Buffy.
Accountability is so attractive in a man. So is emotional vulnerability and passion, which is only something she really gets from Spike. The other men in her life are so wrapped up in themselves or their own need to be right/in control, and it actively harms her.
Yeah, Spike is physically very pretty; but it's his invisible qualities that make him as attractive as he is. There's a reason he's so beloved while other characters have a more mixed (or even negative) reception, and it has very little to do with the cheekbones.
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