And She Cannot Lie

Fan fiction is a gift

[jason-todd-rh]

[hestia-and-the-court]

Audio transcript for those who might need it:

[The video is played by one man playing three roles. The man has brown hair that kinda bobs above his head, a moderately thick mustache, and a thin beard that reaches from ear to ear. He is wearing a black t-shirt with a slight v-neck. When the man voices Shazam, he makes his voice sound noticeably younger and higher-pitched; when playing Superman and Batman, his voice is deeper and sounds likely to be his normal voice. When playing Batman, he tends to talk without the usual pause between sentences.]

Shazam: Okay, and you guys promise you’re not gonna freak out?

Superman: Shazam, I’ve died on more than one occasion. No matter what you show us, I’m not gonna freak out.

Batman: Yeah, and I’m like, the walking definition of trauma, so I think you’re good, man.

Shazam: Okay, I think I just need to- I think I just need to be honest with you guys.

Superman: Honest how?

Batman: I’m Batman, I know everything, no matter what you say, it’s not going to surprise me.

Shazam: Okay… SHAZAM.

[stereotypical lightning noises]

Shazam: My, uh… my real name’s Billy Batson and I’m eleven years old.

[stunned silence from Superman and Batman]

Batman: [clicks tongue] Would you believe me if I told you I knew that?

Superman: Seeing as you haven’t tried to adopt him yet, no.

Batman: That is… an amazing point, actually, say, how many parents have you got?

Superman: [sounding offended] BRUCE!

Shazam: Actually, I’m an orphan.

Batman: DIBS, I call dibs, where’s the Bat-phone?

Superman: You’re not taking another Robin!

Batman: I’m sorry, do you want him?

Superman: That’s not an excuse.

Batman: [extra emphasis on each word] Do You Want Him?

Shazam: I’m very confused. What’s happening right now-?

Batman: I’m not hearing a yes and I called dibs and I’m improving your situation, kid, Alfred, call the guy!

Superman: Put the fucking phone dow- Who did this to you, Billy?

Shazam: Uhh, some old dude in a cave.

Batman: See, he has an old guy in a cave too! And he has the red and he has the black hair, he’s practically already a Robin!

Superman: You have a fucking problem.

[decepticonsensual]

I might have mentioned this before, but developments I am genuinely glad of in fandom over the last couple of decades:

Way less bashing of canon female love interests in order to hook up two male characters - some of that is the advent of the OT3 as a solution to love triangles, but it’s just as common to have the canon couple break up amicably and realistically, or simply tweak things so that they were never a couple, but still like and respect one another as friends

The rise of the reader insert fic, which I’m convinced has taken the pressure off to create an OC for people who really just want to write self-insert fantasy, thereby letting them do what they actually want and (hopefully) helping to lessen the stigma around OCs for those who really want to create OCs

Linked to that, a decrease in the amount that the accusation “Mary Sue!” gets flung around, and intelligent criticism of how gendered the whole “Mary Sue” concept has ended up

Less pressure to “explain” how a character could end up with a character of the same gender in fic, when they’ve always been paired with other-gender characters in canon

A decline in the popularity of extensively mocking/dragging individual fics for bad or inexpert writing (such as through writing MSTs in response where the canon characters read and reacted to the fic), which, looking back, was a pretty shitty thing to do to writers just starting out

Much less likelihood of getting virulently homophobic comments on any given slashfic (”My poor [favourite character] isn’t GAY, how dare you!”)

And, of course, the shining glory that is AO3, an all-inclusive single archive that’s actually run and controlled by fans, meaning no hours spent paging through webrings to find one author who has four fics of that pairing you love and then reading them over and over for months, and no chance of waking up tomorrow to find all your fic purged because some internet company got a pissy letter

I mean, don’t get me wrong, fandom today is no picnic; it’s not like homophobia or sexism have gone away entirely (and to an extent they’ve gone underground, which complicates things), and of course we have the new puritanical backlash, which can sometimes be even more complex to challenge.  But fandom back in the day was far from perfect, as well, and some of the ways things have changed are a real breath of fresh air.

[decepticonsensual]

Bringing this back around because a) it started getting more notes than anticipated, so I thought it might be worth a rerun and b) someone tagged it #fanthropology and I cannot believe I never thought of that word, it is glorious.

[laurenthemself]

Reblogging to shout FANTHROPOLOGY what a WONDERFUL word

[jabbakillera-deactivated2023031]

i don’t know what’s so difficult to grasp about not shipping teacher figures with their student figures. anakin skywalker, for example, was assigned to obi-wan as an arguably parentless 9 year old, and furthermore raised and taught by him for the next 10 years, and obi-wan in return literally called anakin his BROTHER, but you all still want to ship them. what the fuck

[ruusverd-fandom-blog]

He was assigned to Obi-Wan as an arguably parentless 9 year old FORMER SLAVE and was expected to call Obi-wan “Master,” which yes, had a different cultural meaning to the Jedi, but do you think a 9 year old who’s just lost everything he ever knew is going to be able to separate the two meanings in his head? And he continues to call Obi-wan Master long after he’s knighted.

Forget shipping them, even their canon relationship becomes a bit uncomfortable if you look even a little bit past the suface.

[marbledgummies2]

have this comic i made in a manic episode because i thought it was really funny

[dreadelion]

look ma, it’s a good old-fashioned sketch dump!

i’ve been really having fun drawing a lot of geralt and eskel lately, young and old! this is my hallelujah for hairy scarred witchers utterly devoted to each other

[thorsthot]

i’ve been laughing at this for the past five minutes

[therkive7]

[sunfortune]

“he didn’t get jumped he got his ass whooped for starting a fight he couldn’t finish 📢”

[sunfortune]

​tony said, i threw the first punch :( ,,,bu,,t i didnt think he was gonna::;; hit me back ;(( 😖 like yeah clown? Welcome to Brooklyn

[chirpingtiger]

I think “yeah clown? Welcome to Brooklyn” might be my favorite comment on the Siberia scene ever.

[silvipeppers]

ALAS IT IS CHRISTMAS!! and I can finally post my @thewitchersecretsanta gift for @inennui ~ hope you enjoy and have safe holidays <3

[itspusspeepers]

They made love urgently, in silence, without words. They made love quickly, however. And then along came the climax and fulfilment, trembling and kissing each other’s tears, amazed at that fate had given them time to express their love.

[thecutestlittlebunbunfairy]

Merry Christmas y'all

[penny-anna]

anyway loved Geralt seeing his mother again like ‘oHHHhhh I’ve been waiting for this moment my WHOLE LIFE… you want to hear some WITCHER STATISTICS…’

Visenna: I don’t think we have time for this

Geralt, starting his 50 slide powerpoint presentation entitled HOW THEY MAKE BOYS INTO WITCHERS subtitle: what the fuck were you thinking: bitch you will make time for me 

[smol-baguett]

You know whats fuckinv hilarious? When your eyes are covered by a hood

You can’t see shit.

So when the Jedi are going all swooshy swoosh with their lightsabers with their hoods over their heads they’re relying on the force to be aware of there surroundings because the can’t actually see.

They’re using the force to be extra and dramatic af while they slicey slice their opponents. And Luke Skywalker with his Chanel Boots is no exception. He is the prime example.

In the temple that is literally what they teach their younglings. To sense their surroundings in the Force without actually seeing it. Here in Attack of the Clones:

They really start them off young to teach them in their How To Be Dramatic 101 class. Today’s lesson is how to deflect a blast without looking. Next week we will be tackling the Dramatic Robe Drop™ with special guest teacher and Dramatic Robe Drop™ master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Speaking of that extra bitch what was the first lesson Old Ben taught innocent young Luke?

The same fucking lesson.

Of course the dramatic bitch himself who trained Anakin fuckin Skywalker would think that the first lesson that the son of both Anakin and Padmé would need to learn is how to be deflect blaster shots without looking so he can look badass with a hood on. Yess it is vital for him to know. The fate of the galaxy depends on it.

Like look how innocent farmboy Luke who has to help out at the farm tomorrow went from this:

Then trained with Obi-Wan and Yoda and became

CHANEL BOOTS LUKE with fashion sense

Honestly. I blame Yoda and Obi-Wan and their influence on him.

[getas-regina]

With the Mando finale, Obi-Wan must be proud

[stressedspidergirlsfandomblog]

Not to derail but to ask.... isn't it just to teach them to trust their instincts bc they can't like. See it fast enough to react unless they're trusting the force to guide them? As a relatively newish star wars fan. Like you can't hope to wait to see the bullet/laser fire and then react, you need to already be moving. So if we take the visual and make you rely on the magic space powers to just.... proactively move vs reactively , you'll live?

[smol-baguett]

Hello there, relatively new star wars fan! Yes you are right. In ANH, Obi-Wan teaches Luke this exercise to teach him how to open up to the force rely on his instincts instead of simply reacting to his other senses.

We can assume that the Jedi learn this at a young age for the same reason. That is why jedi in the prequels can do impossible feats like deflect multiple blaster bolts. Relying on the force to guide them and sense when and where the next shot will come.

That’s how the jedi in the Clone Wars were able to to rush the front lines and come out more or less alive. And that’s how Luke cut through all those dark troopers like it was nothing.

The post above is just my comedic, crack take on the matter. Nothing new. You’ll find that Luke and prequel Jedi are all drama queens with their hoods, swooshy cloaks, and their extravagant acrobatics and lightsaber twirls. And Chanel Boots Luke™

Good question though. It’s a pleasure to receive sincere sw questions, so thanks!

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

[journalistpeterparker-deactivat]

Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, Ted Kord and Clark Kent, and by extension most of the Superfam, are Jewish coded characters so for the love of God please don’t draw them in xmas stuff. There are other characters you can use like Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Daredevil, Iron Man, Black Widow, Green Arrow, Alan Scott, John Stewart, Guy Gardner, Kyler Rayner, any of the flashes instead. 

Ben Grimm, Kitty Pryde, Magneto, Polaris, Legion, Doc Samson Marc Spector, Gert, Billy Kaplan, Tommy Sheperd, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Vance Astrovik, Kate Kane, Ray Palmer, Ragman, Firestorm, Colossal Boy have all been confirmed Jewish in canon. Please don’t put them in xmas stuff. 

Hal Jordan, Harley Quinn and Iceman are canonically from interfaith households so while there’s nothing wrong with drawing them in xmas stuff please do not forget and erase their Jewish heritage. 

And while they’re not comic book characters the Pines family from Gravity Falls are also Jewish so please be respectful

And the same goes for Muslim characters like Soorya, Monet, Kamala Khan and Simon Baz. 

I’m not trying to stop people from having fun but it sucks so much every year having to see the very few Jewish characters having their Jewishness erased. 

[journalistpeterparker-deactivat]

I made a google doc with a short explainer for why this matters and some explinations for why certian charaters are Jewish coded 

[vengerburger]

dandelion: did you have fun with yennefer? geralt:

[amtoooldforthisshit]

The witcher has some of the most interesting and complex female characters in fantasy, especially yennefer and calanthe but also tissaia, renfri, triss, Ciri etc. So the fact that its fandom focuses almost exclusively on the two white dudes is...well disappointing but not surprising tbh. And why I don't get involved in it much.

[estonian-fandom-trash]

it's even worse knowing that the people that are fans of the girls always compare them with each other and insult them for liking triss over yennefer. i personally don't like yen that much bc of her attitude but i see why people would like her and i recognize her personality and power and story.

youre not superior to the people that like triss, youre just an asshole who erases an important character's story for no reason. she loves geralt. she's considered family by the wolf witchers. she saved mages - even ones that don't believe in her! she has an important role. people like her for more than 'red hair', reddit. grow up.

[love-and-cubs-and-white-wolves]

@estonian-fandom-trash I don’t think not liking someone is erasing them, and I don’t think it’s for “no reason”. Triss basically raped Geralt... Or, at the very least, it was very dub-con of her, using magic to get him in bed because she was jealous of what he and Yen had... And she also often ignores his consent when he says no to kissing? The scene in the stables, the famous creepy kissing when she had diarrhea and even Yarpen and Ciri were weirded out by it. And it’s in the books, in the games she used his amnesia to get in his bed. I think you might be just a decent human person by not liking someone who’s not above using magic to have sex with someone who never was in love with her ;). No need to have that “you’re an asshole!” speech for not liking a, well, rapist. If you can’t have sex with drunk people, you can’t have sex with people under spells. Yes, CDPR made her into a “redhead waifu”, but even though Triss helps with Ciri, she also thought of using her, and all her thoughts about Geralt are very creepy. She’s basically the “Nice Guy”, but a female version.

[wily-art]

“You did good, kid.”

[heschrafn]

“A noble steed for my brave knight” Little Geralt’s first Roach