I do so love The Onion.

pixel skylines
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Not today Justin
Sade Olutola

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Andulka
Color Me Curious
Cosimo Galluzzi

bliss lane
I'd rather be in outer space šø

shark vs the universe
The Bowery Presents
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
hello vonnie

Product Placement
EXPECTATIONS

tannertan36
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NASA
seen from Israel
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Argentina

seen from Italy

seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Indonesia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Venezuela

seen from United States

seen from China

seen from Germany
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seen from United States

seen from T1
seen from Pakistan
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@sherlock-at-the-bakery
I do so love The Onion.
šŖ© š¶ š¦ š¦ š¦ š¶ šŖ©
Someone tell the kids the hot new trend is speed running the hospital Mitch McConnell is in to get proof of life. If they got that far into the scientology buildings just imagine what they could do
For any relocated TikTok users
you can say sex and kill its fine
If you don't have a profile picture people will assume you're a bot
theres barely an algorithm, if you want to see cool shit reblog things instead of just liking them
follower count doesnt matter
tumblr fame gets you one thing and it is Yelled At
no one knows what the fuck the nsfw policy is
block anyone that annoys you even a little bit
And most importantly:
post cringe
non-practicing slut. is this anythign
i am not a whore but i believe in their beliefs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ON NOVEMBER 5TH AND WHY IS TUMBLR FREAKING OUT I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh, bless you for not knowing haha
November 5th 2020 was one of the most absurd days in internet history, and frankly, in overall history.
So the world is trembling over the US election right. The votes are being counted, everyone is on edge and even over here in Europe, people are holding their breath because whoever wins this election could change the earth as we know it. Around that time, the third wave of Covid hits (I think), and sends us all back into lockdown.
Then, on Nov 5 specifically, there's this moment where Nevada's votes could make all the difference (that's why sometimes, Nevada pops up in the shitposts too). And Nevada is slooooow. The results aren't coming in, and everyone is constantly checking for updates. Also apparently, Georgia and Pennsylvania are turning blue (democratic) for the first time in ages (or ever? don't know, I'm not that familiar with US history) but anyway, it's unprecedented.
On the same day, the romantic relationship of Dean Winchester and Castiel (Destiel), two characters of the show Supernatural, becomes canon after 15 seasons...but in a really weird way that is dissatisfying to most of the fandom (I think. Not in that fandom either). Now the fandom in itself is huge though, one of the biggest fandoms on Tumblr ever, and there's this sort of massive Spn renaissance happening that just consists of...complete disbelief lol.
On top of that, rumors of Putin's resignation arise, being widely spread through the Supernatural fandom's Destiel shitposts. This, again, could change world history if true.
And at this point, everyone's just going crazy-town banana pants.
Because of the sheer absurdity.
AND I LOVE IT.
Because one person summed it up in the following sentence that went viral and honestly explains best what the heck happened on that day:
And this sentence MAKES ME COME ALIVE. Because DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FACTORS HAD TO WEIGH IN FOR SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE????????????????
It's a meme consisting of at least 5 other events to explain the 5th of November feeling. The peak comedy being that this is the first sentence of "My Immortal", the worst fanfiction ever written, implying that November 5 2020 reads exactly like that.
It's a cultural treasure, that's what this is.
And I'm just like...WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE. WHAT A TIME TO BE ON TUMBLR. WHAT AN HONOR TO WITNESS THAT TRAINWRECK OF THE US PULL ITSELF OUT OF THE DIRT AND LIVE ANOTHER DAY. ALL IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC. FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED. RELIEVED FOR ALL MY US MUTUALS.
HAPPY DESTIELPUTINELECTION DAY ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there are people who leave the house without a pair of earplugs. what insanity
there are people who go outside, who spend an entire day in environments completely out of their control--and these bitches don't bring earplugs? that is not Standard Practice?
what happens if the traffic is too loud? what happens if co-workers are having a nearby conversation? what if the grocery store music exists? what happens if the basic Vibe is just Grotesque? and you go out there, into that vile wilderness, without so much as a pair of goddamn foam earplugs to do battle? you build your own hell brick by loathsome brick
enough toxic masculinity I'm ready for salubrious mexicanity. I'm ready for a social movement that encourages (esp straight, cis) men to indulge in things that make them more joyful, emotionally healthy, and help them strengthen not core muscles but core compassionate communication skills.
I cannot stress enough that I have a minor speech impediment and voice-to-text decided it was more likely that I said "mexicanity" than "masculinity." I was not in fact alluding to the potential healing benefits of being Mexican. I am however perfectly content with this post being about that instead.
denying yourself enjoyment of things because you don't want to be 'cringe' is the most cringe thing you can do actually. like what are you, catholic?
Please! āReblogā if you support their love. š³ļøāšā¤ļø
Couldnāt you just pause it
oh my sweet summer child
Couldnāt you just pause it???šššš¤£š¤£š¤£
COULDNāT YOU JUST PAU-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Pause?!?!
PAUSE!?!?!?!?!?!?
Pause???? šššš Oh man, how old is this poor kid?
PAUSE?????
Mary finds John attractive when heās being violent and Sherlock finds him attractive when heās saving lives thank you for coming to my TED talk
I⦠am physically, emotionally, and psychologically incapable of not reblogging this
āyou talk like a smart/pretentious personā actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific
#see also: the exact feeling im trying to convey with my sentences doesnt get across the same way without that specific word
See also: my various hyperfixations expose me to words I like and get I excited to use them in sentences
see also also: iām too fucking stupit to make the sentence less pretentious
See also: I feel the need to speak very precisely because Iām terrified if I donāt Iāll somehow be misunderstood and youāll think Iām horrible.
See also: I have been conditioned to be hyper-specific due to my parents being pedantic and passive-aggressive about word usage and precise meaning and I have yet to unlearn this part of my trauma.
See also: Iām autistic and genuinely didnāt know I was coming off as pretentiousĀ