Sherlock + text posts [7/?]

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@sherlockedinmeta
Sherlock + text posts [7/?]
things sherlock holmes has canonically done:
scrapbooked the hell out of his newspapers
put on a hat that was too big for him
giggled
cried because lestrade was nice to him
got all sappy and romantic by smelling a rose
let a puppy lead him on adventures
“impish mood”
lit his pipe with an ember from the fireplace because he thought it looked cool
feel free to add to this
built a pillow fort in a client’s house
told a guy he was giving him secret government documents and then gave him a book about bees instead
told watson stories about his past solely to avoid cleaning his room
oh i almost forgot
decorated his room with pictures of famous criminals
Ordered a picnic for a pair of newlyweds
Was offended that Watson doesn’t praise his skills as a housekeeper
Waived his fee if his clients are too poor to pay him
Made hot chocolate to wake Watson up on a cold morning
Danced around and bowed to imaginary friends
‘Flushed up with pleasure’ when being praised
Wouldn’t explain how he comes to conclusions because he was worried Watson would think he is ordinary
Grabs Watson’s hand when he’s frightened
Let another puppy lead him on adventures.
WHERE ARE YALL GETTING THIS/1!!1!!!????!?
Leaped over furniture like a gazelle.
•Shook hands with a baby :,}
noticed watson looking sad and touching his old war wound and tried to cheer him up with some deductions about his sparkling eyes
deliberately knocked over a table, shattering a glass fruit bowl which sent fruit rolling everywhere, then blamed it on watson and ran away
was not surprised when a dog died after its owner died, due to the “beautiful, faithful nature of dogs”
sent watson a telegram telling him to come over at once so he could tell him his most recent thoughts about dogs and the importance of their emotions to detective work
told Watson anecdotes about his favorite violinist for an hour while they had lunch together
made a little diagram out of breadcrumbs while explaining something to Watson
Shared a room with watson in a house that had 11 bedrooms
Makes his client wait while he changes into slippers
Has a realistic dummy made of himself and uses it to fool a client
twice
in the same story
• Imagined holding hands with Watson and floating over the rooftops of London to see what everyone was doing, out of pure curiosity • Used THE quote from Anthony and Cleopatra about himself – “I trust that age hath not withered nor custom staled my infinite variety?”
Like honestly this stuff from Sue has got me just trembling with rage again, for the first time since S4 ended. Like somehow that ‘of course we’ll be needing two rooms’ comment in ASiP should have keyed the entire bloody audience in to the fact that Sherlock and John are straight as an arrow (someone really should have told Martin and Ben, tbh, ‘cause they were under the impression that they were making the “gayest show on television”–oops), and we are all a bunch of raving, bullying lunatics if we somehow interpreted the piles of not only subtextual, but also blatant, textual queer references in episodes 2 - 9 as meaning that Sherlock and John were queer, and then were upset and proceeded to question the queerbaiting in those episodes, as well as the BBC’s S4 marketing campaign, and demand answers?
Sweet person or not, that’s just a shitty and completely insensitive way of thinking, imo.
Right so if “of course we’ll be needing 2 rooms” was meant to put the idea to rest from the get go why did they then continue to keep making jokes about them being a couple? Like sorry Sue, sounds like you thought that was a smart argument but you’ve honestly just confirmed that the entirety of the rest of the subtextually (and even textually) “gay” moments were in fact just jokes at the expense of queer people. So when Kitty Riley said “just platonic?” us stupid gays were supposed to react to that with a “of course platonic Kitty, how stupid, don’t you know they have 2 rooms at Baker street!!!”, when Irene said that they were a couple we were supposed to interpret that as a couple of housemates??? When Angelo got a candle for the table because it’s more romantic we were obviously supposed to realise that he was referring to Romanticism; ya know like art and stuff because clearly, despite the fact that John would decide later that night to move in with a man he just met, it would be into the other bedroom because of course they’ll be needing 2 rooms.
Gosh, us silly queers strike again with our overactive imaginations, fag hagging ways, and apparent thirst for “white dicks touching”, whenever we will learn?
Why ask the question in the first place if Sherlock and John are to be portrayed as straight? Why does Mrs Hudson not just show John the second bedroom and be done with it? Where is the joke in assuming they might be gay/bi?
I don’t get it.
Welcome to the homophobic tropes index:
Queer People Are Funny
Please read!
As you may have realised, this blog is in a sort of limbo at the moment as I figure out how I feel about the show after everything that has happened. My main point here was to tell you all to feel free to continue submitting/requesting/messaging me through here but I might not reply very quickly.
Please do follow my main ( @sherlocks-vatican-cameos ) which is, for the most part, just memes & where you can talk to me. My other blogs include: Harry Potter, Marvel and Teen Wolf (the latter of which I am still for) and feel free to just message me for those URLs.
Thanks for the ride though guys, it’s been wild.
- Natalie
Still EMP or coma
I just noticed something in HLV in the minute 45’. Please watch when Sherlock supposedly go out of his mind palace. Sherlock is considering Mary and when he come back the monitor behind him, showing us his heartbeat, starts going back and not forward. The monitor is running backwards, from right to left. When he is talking to Janine, in the minute 43'40", the monitor runs well, from left to right. I don’t know how put the gif from the two scenes so please go and watch and tell me I don’t go crazy. @monikakrasnorada @isitandwonder @multivariate-madness @stillgosherlocked @gryssenielsen @mylastvow
@yan-yae: Wow, great catch! I checked it and you are absolutely right. And you know what? They show us the heart monitor again and again, they are practically rubbing it in. Look, he has a heart monitor, the line is going from left to right as it should. And then, after the Mary deduction when he supposedly comes to, it changes direction. Maybe he never comes out of his MP. Which would mean that thinking about Mary leads him to playing through ideas of how to show John who she is and what she did. Which would explain the boltholes everyone knows about, Mycroft calmly sitting in his office when his brother’s life is in danger, and everything that follows.
@ebaeschnbliah
They really do rub it in @stillgosherlocked. The amplitude rises when Janine turns the morphine down or when Sherlock moves. And then suddenly in this very short scene after the Mary deduction it runs backwards - it’s a blink and you miss it moment. What’s this scene even needed for? The audience knows that Sherlock is in hospital from the Janine scene. It’s barely 5 sec long. And Sherlock just raises his head. He has even turned his morphine down before. And the scene is followed by John and Lestrade finding his empty room… I’d say the scene is unnecessary exept for the heart monitor. For the way we look at pictures (usually from left to right) the monitor would be the first thing we’d notice when watching this scene. Hell…
@isitandwonder: I just had a short look at the episode. Even before the Janine scene we get at least 10 shots of a heart monitor in the operation theatre. I would say such appliances are shown at least 20 times within a few minutes of footage. They could also have arrows pointing at the heart monitors telling us where to look.
I got you, fams. Bad quality gifs ahoy!
Fowards:
Forwards again:
BACKWARDS:
But oh, what’s this? Doesn’t that whole footage look a bit… reversed? Why yes. Yes it is.
HE’S NOT COMING OUT OF HIS MIND PALACE. HE’S GOING INTO IT.
@yan-yae I AM SCREAMING!!! I’m sorry but I have to say this is fucking me the fuck up! I went back and watched the Janine scene, and I was like, what? Wait. That monitor is doing it’s normal thing, but then. BUT THEN…he ‘supposedly’ comes BACK from his mind palace confrontation of “Mary Watson, who are you?” and the MONITOR IS RUNNING BACKWARDS!!!!! And, then, @doomsteady, you perfect thing, you! You put the gifs here and JUST LOOK AT THAT. Not ONLY is the monitor running backwards, but this entire little scene is the REVERSE of him going into his mind palace!!!!!!!!!!
What does this mean? Which is it? Forwards or backwards??? I’m with @isitandwonder, WHY IS THIS SCENE EVEN HERE???? I keep going on and on about how odd the whole thing is- why is Janine not the worried almost-fiancee? Where are the standard questions we would expect: How are you? What happened? I’m okay, are you okay???? Instead we get absurd and frankly ridiculous tabloid headlines about Sherlock. AND, not even things like: SHERLOCK HOLMES IS A BACK-STABBING MANIPULATIVE BASTARD. No, oh no! We get all these salacious tales of Sherlock being a fucking amazing lay????? SERIOUSLY??? I mean, Sherlock seems like he’d be an attentive lover, imo. He seems to be a very sensuous person but, ahem. He’s GAY. Right?? That entire scene is so over the top and unreal. But now, this added in to the mix?? I’m flailing!!!!!!
@tjlcisthenewsexy @ebaeschnbliah @stillgosherlocked @multivariate-madness
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
Yeah, I just checked the scene. @doomsteady @yan-yae Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. HE’S NOT COMING OUT OF HIS MIND PALACE. HE’S GOING INTO IT.
The scene is reversed!???!!!!!!! On PURPOSE! You cannot tell me that they needed to run it backwards to get the effect they wanted…..they knew exactly what they were doing. It’s like that on purpose. He’s not coming out. He’s going in. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. SORRY BUT OMG. It’s all about one thing now…forwards or backwards:
what…the…fuuuu
From “Sherlock Uncovered: The Return” (2016)
It wouldn’t be an ARG if we didn’t read way too much into every little thing…right? Apologies for tags, just wanted to share. ;) @diemeliyay @arglocked @inevitably-johnlocked @jenna221b @waitedforgarridebs
UHM. WHAT ARE THEY DOING THERE. THAT’S A REALLY SPECIFIC NUMBER OF DICE WITH A VERY SPECIFIC NUMBER DISPLAYED ON THEM.
AND WHY DICE. THERE’S NO LOGICAL REASON FOR THAT TO BE A SET PIECE… unless it’s hinting at a game.
*looks wearily at Sunday April 16th*
UHM OKAY. I JUST HAD A FUCKING EPIPHANY WITH THIS.
What does one normally do with dice when PLAYING A GAME?
You add up the sides.
FOUR DICE. SHOWING THE NUMBER 4.
4. TIMES FUCKING 4.
IS FUCKING SIX FUCKING TEEN.
APRIL 16…. *heavy sigh* IS FUCKING EASTER SUNDAY.
GODDAMNIT.
NOW I AM WILLING TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS JUST A NOD TO SEASON 4.
But an EASTER EGG. IS STILL A FUCKING EASTER EGG.
ahem i’d like to point out that the dice were also shown in this video from john’s blog on the 16 of march (this video was uploaded in 2012)
???????
@teapotsubtext @the-7-percent-solution
@whimsicalethnographies @worriesconstantly
Liking a villain character is cool but it also sucks ass cause there’s always ppl that are like ‘aw no precious baby did nothing wrong UWUWUUWUW’ like no asshole they’re bad that’s why I love them leave me alone
Dating Sherlock Would Involve
A/N: God, sorry this has taken me years to post. Trying this out so send me an ask if you enjoy/ would like to request a would involve (or anything else)… Thanks!!
Messing up already messy hair.
Walking around 221B imitating him while wearing his coat and a deerstalker.
Sherlock looking like a murder is going to commence whenever you wear his coat.
Drinking approximately six gallons of tea every day.
Kissing in the rain.
Sherlock dragging you around London by your hand and showing you all the locations of his favourite crimes.
Sleeping in until twelve and groaning when the other one suggests getting up.
Only getting up because Mrs Hudson stands outside the flat and bangs a wooden spoon again a pan.
Getting mad whenever someone calls Sherlock a freak or asks why you’re with him.
Sleeping on the sofa with the fire burning.
Helping hide his cigarettes.
Being one of the few people who can occasionally out smart Sherlock Holmes (even if it is just on the solar system).
Sudden outbursts of laughter for no apparent reason, leaving everyone around you confused.
Intense staring contests.
Him writing you music and playing it to you.
Not having any milk in the fridge for months because you both refuse to get it.
Experiments which usually end up with some sort of damage to the kitchen.
Soft kisses :3
Worrying about each other. Constantly.
Being the only one that can cheer him up when there aren’t any cases.
Befriending Mycroft which Sherlock hates.
Adopting a bunch of cats.
Threatening to cut off his hair when he teases you.
So this just reached over 500 notes and I'm just... so in awe right now thank you so much guys
sherlock took the pill that cabbie gave him and this whole show has been a gay fever dream
Was it all in his head???? The entire series???
WHAT THE HELL ARWEL WHAT. THE. HELL.
-.- arwel please do not taunt us any longer… no fake answers/teasing anymore. i hope to god he is not playing.
Things Sherlock thinks about while lying awake at night:
What time do the algae need to be taken out of the fridge tomorrow?
out of milk again, maybe Mrs. Hudson has some.
ν = [H2][Br2] ½ 1 + k’[HBr]/[Br2]… no no that's not what needs doing.
is he awake right now as well?
1:31am. probability points to no.
which bed shirt is he wearing tonight?
is she sleeping on her edge of the bed or the edge of his chest?
you could have known these things. if you had not left.
if you hadn’t left he may have… no, he definitely would be. he would still be here. showering at 6:15 in the morning while the kettles boiling. routine, he always had his routine.
he has a new routine now, you dont know anymore.
you’ll never know
if you hadnt left he would still be here. he may even have been right here. next to you.
the bed feels cold. how can the comforter be so heavy and at the same time provide no warmth.
if you hadnt left john would be here. right here, next to you under these blankets. you could measure the exact change in his body temperature between wakefulness and deep sleep. you could monitor him all night, watching for changes, twitches, shifts and mumbles.
what is john watson like to wake up to? is he slow to rise? would he rub his eyes and groggily look over, chapped lips pressing into a smile?
if you hadnt jumped. if you hadnt left you would know. you would have all this.
no no NO. stop this, stop now.
The extrinsic pathway of coagulation is initiated as a result of contact between the bloodstream and Coagulation Factor III/Tissue Factor, a glycoprotein constitutively expressed on the surface of subendothelial tissues that is exposed upon vascular injury…
30 (Zn) mass 65.38 31 (Ga) mass 69.723 32 (Ge) mass 7… 74? no. not that, not right. cant… cant think.
if you hadnt jumped he wouldnt be here.
he would be dead. you wouldnt know his temperature, or his shirt, or how the early morning light cast along the creases in his face. he wouldnt shower, wouldnt stretch and mumble a good morning. you wouldnt know what his toothpaste tasted like as he left for work.
he would be dead. if you didnt die, it would have been him.
it was done for him. John Watson is alive.
it was a trade.
he’s living and thats precisely why he cant be yours.
john
Things John thinks about while lying awake at night:
It’s too hot.
Too uncomfortable to sleep, her body on top of me is making me sweat.
Is there enough shampoo left for the morning? I need to make a trip.
I’ll get the one with the mint… I used that kind a few times. When I would run out of wash before… his would always be minty. I like the way it makes my scalp tingle.
The flat was empty the other day when I popped over.
It was a mess. Worse than usual.
He’s been odd lately, even for him. He’s hardly there, Mrs. Hudson said. She isn't seeing him sleep. Bringing up his morning tea to have him complaining about the chill that night. Even when he is there, she says, it’s like he’s not.
Hardly contacts me…
I’ll ask him… I feel like I shouldn’t. Is it not my place?
No, of course it’s fine. I’m his friend. That’s normal.
But…
I feel like I shouldn’t. Why is that not appropriate- asking what’s going on? Or is it more like I… that’s it.
I don’t want to know his answer.
It’s guilt, you cock.
Shit, I’m so guilty.
I can’t feel like this- like I did this to him. I’ve done nothing.
His flat is so vacant and quiet… God knows he’ll go his entire life locked up with his own madness, by himself in that flat…
Even Mrs. Hudson will eventually… no no, this is fine.
He was fine before you came along.
That’s a lie. What a lark.
He was not ok. You heard. From Mrs. Hudson and Greg and Christ even Mycroft. Before I moved in he was…
Even within the first month of my marriage he self-destructed.
God, I’ve done this to him.
Get off it. He’s done this to himself, I can’t feel guilty for getting on with my life! He had died!
He left me!
Fuck.
Does he even realize with that massive head that my stomach sinks when I see him sometimes?
Would he even be awake right now?
Chances are he’s currently scraping petri dishes of bacteria and injecting toxins under fingernails.
Quietly working under the kitchen lamp.
I would come down for the loo and he would be doing things like that, completely immersed. Didn’t know I was there half the time.
Shit, that one night I couldn't stop staring.
The creases of concentration on his nose and his hands adjusting the fine focus. Rocking the ball of his foot on the floor, worrying his bottom lip. His hair was a mess- like he had been pulling and running his fingers through it all night.
The feeling that came over me then. Like nothing else I had ever… I can feel it now. In my neck and my feet and my god-damned chest.
God. Good God. Why do I still have to feel like…
A wife, a child soon- and I can’t wrench Sherlock bloody Holmes from any part of me.
So restless. I look at her and my fingers tremor.
I look at him and…
I’m…
Bloody Christ.
sherlock
FFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK
IM CALLING TO REPORT A MURDER
THIS IS NOT OKAY
that face spoke volumes to me
@chrysanthemumsies LMFAO
here is something that still gets me: i have spent over 3 years developing an emotional attachment to sherlock and john and their life at 221B. their flat is very much a part of their wonderful story and i love the way it looked like, the cute little details, all of it. i always thought all the most important moments of their life would happen there, it’s just so so so important. then TFP went and blew the entire thing up and let it burn out and then sherlock and john rebuilt it together, somehow creating an exact replica of pre-explosion 221B - and i felt nothing about it. TFP did this in such a way that i feel zero. emotion. about this pretty significant thing that happened. what was this episode
^ this
same tbh like hmm
when ur gay and in a hurry
Why is it understandable?