shin'on

[pixeljade]

more than anything i want a world where a trans girl realizing she is a trans girl faces zero fear from that realization and subsequent coming out. Where she can say "Oh sweet, I can just be a girl? Sign me up!", no worrying if shes girl enough, no worrying if society will accept her, no worrying if she'll be an attractive girl as she transitions, no worrying at all in any way shape or form.

[sonichedgeblog]

Tornado 2 Tails' story 'Sonic Adventure' Dreamcast Support us on Patreon

[shinon-shn]

... I don't care, the cutscenes in this game are good. they're part of the vibe, the charm, the slight clunky awkwardness... but the lighting, the music, the voices, everything is so vibrant and energetic and fun that I can't help but love everything about how it looks and feels. the way the drums and guitar riff hit at the start of tails' theme song, even the slightly odd off-vocal version with the backing vocals still present and... is it just me, or is the audio mixing better than is often remembered? SA2 is fun and iconic and very "cool" and "anime", but I'll be honest: SA1 is from a different universe. at this point, it feels like a memory from a past life rather than "just" a video game. 💜

[shinon-shn]

just saw no less than three posts on my dashboard trying to moralise to me about how I'm defective for liking certain pieces of media and... honestly, I think all the people who left tumblr for twitter about a decade ago might have come back. but idk.

shall we all remind ourselves of how naval-gazing puritanism worked for us last time, or are we just doomed to repeat the same fucking boring culture war bullshit over and over again until we're all dead? fuck off.

[planetarytransformation]

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[shinon-shn]

I'm sick of pretending not to exist, or existing only to be verified and validated. being a fake version of myself constructed to divert attention away from the fact that I have this horrible, gaping, cavernous vacuum inside of me - filling my life with statistics, achievements, skills, qualifications, anything to allow me to say "look at this inarguable display of skill and prowess, institutionally verified - but don't look at me". I'm sick of thinking about myself in five years and thinking about a function rather than an actual person. I'm still pretending not to be me in most aspects of my life, and I hate it.

but authenticity is hard. I'm not myself. I'm not myself because my body is pushing back against me at every stage, and I simply haven't developed the skills, style, confidence... none of it's working. at least not fast enough, in as many ways as I need. I'm happier every time I try and every time it works. but then I'll hit a snag and a stark reminder of when it doesn't work and there's still so much more to fix and I can just... feel the decay and apathy setting back in.

I'm so anxious. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, hiding and tiptoeing around anyone who might object or notice that I'm out of place if they find out. I oscillate so quickly between hope and dread that I barely even know what I'm feeling anymore. I don't think I've ever known.

[fallout-lou-begas]

oh my god i just remembered the chainsmoking catgirl anime is out now. TO ME, MY TORRENTS

[fallout-lou-begas]

D.E.B.S.!????? THE DIRTBAG CATGIRL ANIME IS DOING A SHOT-FOR-SHOT REFERENCE OF FUCKING EARLY 2000S LESBIAN CULT CLASSIC D.E.B.S.!?????

[rednroge]

Strap meme

[eggnogo]

[rottfish]

[captyns]

summer sunsets //cm work

[korza-kov]

My bunny OC as the GTA 6 cover girl. This was a joke that I took too far.

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I'm nonbinary trans and she/they but I use she/her in some spaces like here because I don't get she/her a lot in most places

[shinon-shn]

I'm into she/they... right up until it feels like someone is using "they/them" as the silencer for the "he/him" gun. then it's she/her or gtfo. 😎

[yuve2625]

Skeb commission

[meantfortheshore]

This is probably on tumblr already, but I saw this today. All I can do is ask not are you a feminist, but why aren’t you?

Feminism means that we cannot hide behind gender or sexual orientation.

[shinon-shn]

when I first started presenting femme outside, I knew it was working because of the number of men who almost collided with me head-on. I asked a few of my cis girl friends whether or not I'd just imagined things; I hadn't.

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

Writing by an unrealized trans woman is hilarious because all the female characters get these hyper-detailed descriptions with sophisticated terminology and then the inexplicably male main character walks onto the scene with a sentence like, “He had brown hair and was wearing a t-shirt. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.”

[boccher]

It never ceases to amaze me how much of anglophone's sense of morality is completely captive to whatever's legal in the US and UK. Every recent moral scare or discourse can be traced upstream to some bill that was attempted or successfully passed 5-15 years ago, before which it wasn't even widely considered an issue. Seeing supposedly progressive people turning hard towards sexual censorship and anti-sex education, justifying people getting arrested or having their income confiscated because "it's against the law/corporate code of conduct", forming witch hunts to brand random pin-up artists as sexual predators, and reifying conservative taboos... it really feels surreal when I still remember last decade how it was a common refrain to make fun of entertainment industries for permitting military propaganda and violence more than a half-naked body.

[melodies-stereo]

tell a trans woman you love her today. please. tell her she's wanted and loved and treasured and special. tell her every kind thing in your heart that you feel for her. tell her that she makes it all worthwhile. tell her you love her and don't ever let go. tell her before its too late. please

[shinon-shn]

so... I can't, because since I started HRT, I've found myself so much more capable of falling in love that it hurts - and if I do this, it'll be more like confessing to a crush than an ordinary affirmation. regrettable, but if I confessed to every trans woman I've met who I've started to feel that way for, I'd be a total player and probably something of a heartbreaker too. 🥹

[scout90-again]

[scout90-again]

[shinon-shn]

were it so easy 😞