Tag: Events before the canonical narrative, school, a lot of timeskips!, a hint of emerging sympathy, mention of trauma
@dzvelinaskebiyars @wthphe1n @zyart-jpg @sylith
You remembered Wooin as your personal troublemaker. It's not like he did it intentionally, no, not at all. It just so happened that the teacher decided to put you in class with him.
That's why you became responsible for his every school pass. Did you know that he spends time racing, legal or not, time on his bike, competing with Hyuk about who will do the best trick. Are you at this time? you reported to the teacher why your roommate was missing, promised that you would take notes to him, and next time Wooin would certainly appear on the math test.
It annoyed you. Why were you blushing for someone you weren't even friends with? You two weren't even close, and you definitely never wanted to give him your notes.
until one day something changed.
the doctors' words that it is unlikely that he will stand on his left leg at all.
rumors at school, ridicule from other guys.
You didn't come to his hospital on the first day after the accident, or a week later, and you no longer had to justify yourself to the teachers. And the worst part? Did this new routine annoy you more
so much so that after school you collected all your notes, went to the store and bought some stupid snacks that you accidentally remembered. which he liked, because he was constantly chewing something in class.
you found yourself in front of his hospital room, after half an hour of walking near the hospital, wondering "is it even worth it?"
And when did you come in? It was unpleasant. the room smelled of antiseptic, medicines, and something else that is very typical for hospitals. Wooin was sitting on his bunk and you swear you didn't recognize him right away.
He was covered in bandages, his leg was wrapped in plaster, his neck too, and his eyes seemed to be looking through his hands. and the room is so quiet. He didn't even bother to look at who came to him right away. That's why you went in there first, carefully placing the bag of snacks by the bedside table.
you could feel this awkwardness coming from you, but he seemed to be in another place with his thoughts until he looked at you.
the expression that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, you thought was stupid. How can a person have something like that? But when you looked at him steadily, almost without blinking, you realized how wrong you were.
He was so empty. And you knew that it wouldn't be the same as before.
You spoke first. You said something stupid about the teacher asking you to give him your notes like before. And you both knew it was a lie.
He just didn't care, and you felt the need to lie.
You left almost immediately that night. He didn't say anything last. You've never understood Wooin anyway, and you definitely didn't want to understand him now about what words he needed to say.
It seems like a month has passed since that. and everything annoyed you. the fact that the place next to you is now occupied by someone else, as it seems to everyone, it doesn't matter that he is not there, even the teachers.
It broke you to the bone, you couldn't find a place to calm down.
Then you came back again.
again, a bag of snacks and new notebooks with notes, in which all the sentences are written in the neatest handwriting. you accidentally bumped into some guy in a mask who was going against you. None of you even bothered to apologize, and you didn't bother to recognize him.
You didn't knock when you entered the room. You didn't have to
Wooin was still sitting in the same spot, looking out the window. The Band-aids have been removed, but here is the cast on his leg as the most terrible reminder of all that happened. Now he reacted immediately.
He looked at you, but didn't say anything, didn't even twist his face or look surprised. you went over there to him, sat on a chair next to him, taking off your jacket, as if you planned to stay there.
"did you bring your notes again?" The question is rhetorical. His eyes are still blank, and you hate the sound of his voice. It really pisses you off
you just nod, putting your notebooks on his bedside table, but you don't plan to leave, "how do you even entertain yourself here?"
The question is strange and inappropriate, you know, you flinch, but you don't take back the words. He just tries to grin, opens his mouth, his fingers twitch, but he doesn't say anything — you noticed all this, even though you would never have done it before.
You just sigh, climb into your bag, "I brought the psp, I thought you were bored. and some comics.. I don't know what you like there, so I took something that was more epic for my taste."
You feel like the conversation isn't going on, it's more like you're just having a monologue with yourself, turning on the damn psp and putting comics on his sheets.
Wooin remains silent. You don't understand if he's happy with you or if he just doesn't have the strength to drive you away. but you notice his gaze, that he's looking at your console when you choose a game, swearing that he sighs every time your fingers twitch because of your nerves.
Your attempt to change your own routine is ridiculous. The way you're trying to fill this void, this silence, is just fucking funny and—
And that's just one damn comment from him, and it pisses you off that it makes you calm down even for a moment.
This is about how your new routine goes on your days off. you just come, bring him something, he never takes it in front of you, you play in silence in front of him.
until he changes it himself later.
more smirks, more comments, Wooin even tears up a pack of sour marmalade in front of you, scattering some on his blankets, which makes you laugh.
you didn't become his friend, you were just too annoyed with a lot of things because of your classmate, him. you tried to get rid of it by indulging your selfishness. You found hundreds of excuses for yourself, and all those hundred were just lies.
but here you were again in his room, sitting on his bed, your hands smeared with antiseptic, the needle in your hands glistens too much from the hospital lamps, "don't twitch, Wooin, otherwise it will hurt"
you only sigh when your needle pierces his ear. You see him frowning, muttering something under his breath, but trying not to move, just like you asked, "just finish this shit faster, you're too slow."
and just like that, a new pair of titanium earrings.
until one day your routine started to change. again.
Wooin is finally back at school. with one crutch. He was sitting in a new place, and you kept turning away from him, telling yourself that you were just curious, you didn't care, you never—
"they're playing a new Spider-Man cartoon in the cinema right now, you'd love that," his voice drowns out any remaining buzz from your classmates who are packing their things to go home. You didn't even notice the sound of his crutch.
and he did not notice how he agreed to his offer to go with him.
As soon as you noticed yourself, you slowed down your pace to keep up with him. he noticed, but kept quiet about it. but he was talking about a thousand and one things and nothing at the same time. And you listened to every detail, and you answered him every time.
and it seems that you liked this new routine much more than the old one.
you knew that nothing would ever be the same, you cast those quick glances in his direction in class, until one day you realized why
You were worried that one day he just won't be here with his new deskmate. And you realized it at the moment when he didn't show up today.
There's that nervous feeling inside again, like insects crawling under your skin. annoy. infuriates—
you're making some kind of ridiculous excuse that you need to get out, your step is too fast, your gaze clings to all the people who could remotely resemble him.
but neither in the parking lot nor at the bike racks does it exist at all. It's still an afterthought, a memory of his words about the playground near the school.
a minute, two, and you're already there, breathing unevenly from running, and your eyes are on him again.
The crutch is lying near the bench. the sound of bicycle wheels. his foot is constantly slipping off the pedal, his frowning face.
You don't leave, you stand there watching him. You don't know if he's aware of your presence here right now, or if he's too caught up in his attempts to get on a bike and stay on it for at least a while.
and again. the sound of tires on sand. creak. fall.
but this time Wooin does not rise. He's just lying there on the ground, covering his face with one hand. You don't approach him right away, as if you're standing there waiting for something.
"I thought you decided to become a part of the shit here." a quiet sneer, a tired sigh, but he doesn't even look at you when you tower over him, "isn't it time for math where you should be?"
you just shake your head, turning the toe of your foot in the sand, as if you can dig up this earth and find all the answers to all your questions there.
"I just decided to go out for some air." You just shrug, but you know that the playground is "far" from the place where you could "just get some air."
"and by the way, while I was watching you, I got so hungry." It sounds casual, not at all an invitation for him to take a break and get away from it all, at least for a moment. Wooin just sits down, rubbing his sweaty hands, which are mixed with mud, on his pants. he gets up on his own, doesn't ask for help. He goes straight to the crutch, leaving his bike lying in the place where he fell
"if you're slow again, I'll throw my stick at you and then I'll take your fries and—"
"Teach me how to ride a bike"
Your words sound like a thunderstorm in a clear sky. It's too sudden. It was strange, almost like a mockery of him. even Wooin freezes. you don't see how he's trying to even out his breathing, how his fingers are flexing and unbending. you only look at the fallen bike, the bandages on the handle are already old, the tires are worn out, the frame is in small scratches.
"Why?" Wooin sounds quiet. He doesn't look at you, but you can hear his breathing getting uneven, "are you making fun of me now or what?"
you shake your head, your thoughts are confused, your tongue doesn't seem to listen to you, but should you turn your head towards it? scary
"I saw you once at a race. I'm not a fan of but.." You swallow, try to take in more air, and start babbling, "You were driving so crazy back then. You liked it. You missed lessons every time because of your racing and.. I don't know. It's not pity. I just want you to get back into it.. And it seems Hyuk is rioting on the school grounds out of boredom without you."
you squeeze your shirt with your fingers, trying to stop shaking, closing your eyes. and here you are again, conducting your monologue as you did in front of him in his hospital room.
"—I just thought that if I asked you to teach me, you could come back to it. You don't have to be the best you've ever been.. you can be different." Your confession sounds hard. for the two of you.
You're ready to count the seconds to calm yourself down, ready to sink through the ground. Did you get to know him enough to say something like that or not? What if you just ruined everything or—
"then you have to pay me for every lesson I teach." his arm rests on your shoulders, hugging you, leaning on you, his cheek on the top of your head. You two have never been this close to each other. Even when you pierced each other's ears, you both never "and trust me, I'll make you bankrupt."
Your head is still down. You're still afraid to raise your head to him. It's like you're afraid that Wooin will see your red cheeks and start teasing you so often and so much, and you'll never get rid of this shame.
and the most important thing? he looks up, as if he too is afraid that you will see his red cheeks or hear the incessant beating of his heart.
