dealing with insomnia

Chris | 31 | Bisexual | Trans | She/They | Writer |

[wintercorrybriea]

Romina Lopez & Paola Rios

[vertigris-art]

☀️ PSA for these hot days!

[vertigris-art]

Hot Summer Days 💦

[the-vanilla-extraction]

okay let's make another cake 🎂🎂

butter

sugar

eggs

flour

milk

baking powder

vanilla extract

Voting ended onJul 8

[dashcon-two]

please, dear audience, fill this out. for science

[contact-guy]

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

[skipppppy]

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

[ospreyonthemoon]

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

[deathsmallcaps]

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

[answeringmysister]

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

[viridianchronicle]

[teaboot]

Elementary Sherlock reduces you are Trans and takes you on as a specialist in many obscure and useful disciplines, and also takes you in when you have a falling out with one of your many eccentric and rich paramours. This leads to you becoming an occasional and part-time housekeeper. You are Mrs. Hudson. Yes this is Canon and it aired on TV in 2007

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[buginateacup]

Some usamerican friends of mine recently learned the Aussie meaning of snail trail (the line of hair from the bellybutton heading south). They were horrified to say the least

[meretmanons]

NINGNING ♡ WDA (260516)

[asynca]

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

[quentims]

Suddenly

[flootzavut]

Who would win

Miss Piggy

Spike from BtVS

Voting ended onApr 29

[flootzavut]

Y'all gotta stop being so funny and insightful in the tags okay 🤣

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

the second best is the one the author used to work through some issues.

[mikkeneko]

the third best is the one the author wrote out of spite due to some really dogshit discourse going on in their fandom

[homoidiotic]

“In 1899 Hungarian Michael Haberlandt, a professor of ‘ethnology’ wrote a letter to his friend in which he detailed his observations of same sex and gender variant behaviour among the people he had encountered in Zanzibar. This letter was translated and published in ‘Boy-Wives and Female Husbands: Studies in African Homosexualities’ in 1998. Records like this, despite the homophobic assumptions of its writer, show just how diverse and queer Africa really was before the import of western attitudes, laws and prejudice” [Source]

[mintykiwi]

[mintykiwi]

EVERY YEAR

[mintykiwi]

[mintykiwi]

EVERY YEAR

[mintykiwi]

[mintykiwi]

EVERY YEAR

[staff]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[thebibliosphere]

Floating face down in a blank word document file, while not physically possible, is nevertheless a tangible authorial state.