Shit Hanson Fans Say

day to day convos of hanson fans

[shithansonfanssay]

ahem

hanson fans: black lives matter

[shithansonfanssay]

nu-pop

me: *bong rip* I'm gonna start a cover band

me: bulletproof marshmallows

well-meaning non-fan: oooh so metal

me: no, hanson

[shithansonfanssay]

Taylor: gimme a white tee

asst: y tho

Taylor: just fucking do it

Taylor: and a sharpie. A fat one

asst: ok i guess

[shithansonfanssay]

string theory

fanson: fanfiction is gross

hanson: here's a 2-hour self-insert astronaut au songfic with strings

[shithansonfanssay]

member perks, pt 1

h.net members, 2015: hey! what time is the hday stream?

Hanson: taylor broke it

2016: shame we missed it last year. How about one for old time's sake?

Hanson: what are you talking about

2017: guys. guys. it's your anniversary. a big one. please?

Hanson: ike, did you hear something?

2018: *cancel memberships*

Hanson: OKAY FINE.

[shithansonfanssay]

may 6

Fansons: fuck yeah, MMMBop for life! It means so much!

Fansons: *quote Man from Milwaukee*

[shithansonfanssay]

touring, string theory pt 1

Hanson: *spends a year planning a full-scale symphonic tour*

Also Hanson: *makes teaser video with iMovie and GarageBand*

[shithansonfanssay]

brotherly love

hancest: *exists*

Hanson: *doesn't care*

fansons: oh my god all of you are awful and going to hell

fansons: i will read every single hancest fic out there to tell each and every person how bad they are

fansons: every. single. one.

[shithansonfanssay]

taking a breather

me, January 1: 2017 was a great year, I'm a bit Hanson'd out though, time for a break!

also me, January 10: WHO WENT TO BTTI I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING GIVE ME A PLAY-BY-PLAY

[shithansonfanssay]

2018

Hanson: Happy New Ye--

Fans: ALBUM 7 WHERE IS IT

[shithansonfanssay]

Shit Hanson Fans Say Giveaway!

All instagram followers can use this to enter a drawing for a giveaway! Entries close at 6:00pm PST January 15, 2018. Winner(s) announced by January 17. DQ'd if you unfollow!

you wanna win free hanson shit? be a REAL shit-talking hanson fan and win some free shit! only requirement is to follow shithansonfanssay on instagram and enter. that’s it!

[shithansonfanssay]

cupcake wars

Ike: just shoot me please

Zac: my palms are sweating this is a bad idea

Taylor: I'm here to WIN

Ike: Tay we're not even competing, we're judging

Taylor: *eyefucks the camera*

[xrocketsixtyninex]

I’m a miserable fuck and I don’t have much enjoyment in life but at least I can be guaranteed a smile when having my liquid heaven. It’s the little things in life… (had to wash the mug because everyone would think I’m a slob since I use it everyday, twice/thrice a day)

“Certainty”

I need a stationary kit with this. This says everything you need to know about myself and my abilities.

@shithansonfanssay

In need of 6 more of these!

Not all heroes wear capes. They run tumblr pages!

[shithansonfanssay]

if you alls hanson fans need a snarky caffeine fix, you know where to get it. 

Also if you follow @shithansonfanssay on instagram, just giving the shit away! can’t have fellow shit-talking hanson fans go without fuel. 

[shithansonfanssay]

certainty

Hanson: I'm sure about it

Hanson: I'm definitely sure that I do surely doubt it

Hanson: I wish that I could say that I was sure about it

Hanson: but I'm definitely sure that I'm not sure

me: thank you for summing up my life

[shithansonfanssay]

interview

interviewer: so what's your favorite color?

Taylor: Vivid reddish orange with a hint of cinnamon.

Ike: Well, you see, it all started when, uh...so, I saw this really cool car that was this awesome shade of yellow and then the car and the color and you know it was just so awesome and I couldn't forget it and then we went to this park and the grass was so green and I just couldn't pick so...

Zac: Blue is pretty cool.

Taylor: shut up Zac

[shithansonfanssay]

touring, pt 3

MOE World Tour: it's here can you all finally stfu now

Taylor: skylines

Zac: nintendo switch

Ike: dog

fans: AMAZING

[shithansonfanssay]

life of a hanson fan: a summary

Phase 1: what the hell are they doing, this is ridiculous, what is this shit, i can't even

five minutes: *passes*

ITZ: *sing*

Phase 2: i love you, all is forgiven, yay peace on earth