Sh!t Linguists Say

Blunders in language-study, writings, and fandoms brought to you by Parley's Human

[prokopetz]

Speaking of medieval history, it's fun how the popular accounts are all "the peasantry disliked nobles, but typically loved the King and attributed any harmful decisions to bad advisors", and then the rare examples of surviving testimony from actual peasants are like "I hope the King literally explodes".

[prokopetz]

Popular histories: Medieval peasants understood themselves as inhabiting a cosmic order in which the King was their divinely appointed superior.

Actual medieval peasant: God, please set the King and everyone who looks like him on fire, Amen.

[tojustforart]

That feeling when the annoying clown is a perfect counter to your attacks.

[a-grim-thin-hope]

no because i was originally introduced to naruto through fanfiction not the source material so imagine the depths of my dismay when i finally got around to it only to see how underdeveloped and underutilized sakura was compared to the fics I'd been so eagerly gobbling up. look how they massacred my boy. had me sitting there on the edge of my seat each of her fights like you can do better than this! you have the potential to do better than this! clutching my head in abject sorrow when she actually got together with sasuke. like girl get up off the FLOOR I'm going to cry. you will always be real to me fanon sakura

[i-am-confused-by-life]

i know this applies to a lot of stuff but damn naruto would be so good if it was good. like it could have been so good the potential was insane. there’s so much that could have been done in a setting where every country is essentially ruled by a military dictatorship but instead we got more misogyny than you can even imagine

[tiepiee]

2 guys who write on walls 😛

[ollyrewind]

let’s be happy together with papa

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[girlnextvore]

When you see a Prep in hottopic

[girlnextvore]

“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”

[girlnextvore]

why are people reblogging this again

this post is like 11 years old

WHY AREYALL DOING THIS

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

[girlnextvore]

hey

fuck you LOL

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

disappearing like the roanoke colonists but carving "I NEED A FAT BITCH" into a tree instead of "CROATOAN"

[oysters-aint-for-me]

the old friends senior dog sanctuary fan tumblr did this

[yotzuyu]

[arachnerd-8-legs]

prev: #u forgot the best part#the artist figured out the gig and was like#i draw for u for the rest of my life#these chinese netizens are having shojou level romances

[tevyaa]

[the-quasar-hero]

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

[bethanydelleman]

My son gave me a card that said, "You are the best mom ever" so I asked him if he collected empirical evidence to back up that claim. He admitted to doing no research at all; therefore it's purely anecdotal and cannot be trusted. I have hung this sentimental atrocity on my office wall.

[espanolbot2]

9 Very Specific Questions With the Director of ‘One Night Only,’ aka the Purge but for Sex Movie

Wait, that's what this movie is about?

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Every word of the interview with this talentless braindead cunt about this unwatchable and repulsive fucking dogshit film has managed to not only make me DESPISE the film even more but also despise the fucking weak-minded cunts making it

I dearly hope this dogshit is a worse box office disaster than Pluto Nash

Because this repulsive garbage is truly the apotheosis of nauseating sex negative Gen Z dogshit that kind of sums up everything I DESPISE about not just modern media but really just the society of PATHETIC fucking pussies that make up the modern world in general

A "romcom" that tries to play a christofascist nightmare dystopia as a quirky way to make a pathetic garbage fucking film in which every character in it is braindead weak-minded spineless cattle who go along with this garbage instead of rising up and slaughtering the fuckwits who passed this law in a glorious revolution and putting their fucking heads on sticks

See that's a film I WOULD watch

A movie about a bunch of bad ass and heroic and fucking awesome freedom fighters overthrowing and violently slaughtering an anti-sex government in glorious and gory detail?

That would be fucking INCREDIBLE and actually worth spending money on

Unlike this worthless dogshit made by some talentless cunt about a society of fucking weakling pussies and the cringe-ass Gen Z Wattpad protags

Like to be clear: I already despise every last one of the weakling cunts in this films setting, the way I despise ANYONE who has any kind of respect for worthless garbage like the laws passed by those INFERIOR to them

But I especially despise the two snivelling cunts that are the films main characters not only weakly and pathetically go along with this dystopian garbage heaps worthless dog's laws because they lack the strength of will to act, they also decide to use the one night that their puritan overlords give them to have human rights to go on fucking cringe-ass gen z "not-dates" instead of actually FUCKING

Three years earlier some shit did go down, but now it's three years, and humans have to move on with their lives, whether they like it or not."

The words of a pathetic weakling

If this pitiful little cunt had been around during segregation I'm sure he'd be diligently telling Rosa Parks to move her ass to the back of the bus "Because that's what the LAW says and WE MUST OBEY"

"Just like anywhere else when you go to the country, you have to abide by their laws,"

I don't even abide by the laws in my own country, let alone the laws of any country I visit

Because I'm not a fucking pussy :D

[shitlinguistssay]

I'm not interested in watching it but it would be great if the end credit scene was the main characters finding out everyone's been ignoring the law a la speakeasy orgies and they just weren't cool enough to be invited

[zombies-sold-cheap]

edit I made for the real ones

[wizardarchetypes]

let me tell you about having unrestricted internet access as a teenager and becoming ‘tumblr famous’ and not mentioning it to your mom simply because it didn’t seem important until a stranger asks for a photo in public in front of your mom. like oh yeah sorry mom by the way i’m really big among other insane teenagers holding on by a thread.

[wizardarchetypes]

my mom didn’t care but she started telling random adults i was “famous on the internet” and i never knew how to stand when she said that so i always struck a gay little pose

[wizardarchetypes]

next they’d ask for my “website” so they could check it out and my mom was like (with genuine support) “my understanding is we wouldn’t like it ♥️”

[colubrina]

[nevereverbird]

[kenas-artstuff]

well. You‘ll never guess

(Part 5 here!) (Beginning!)

[the-actual-ocean]

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

[goldenretriever-boyfriend]