Shitty BSD Imagines

The crackiest bsd imagines and headcanons around

[shittybsdimagines]

The Port Mafia reacting to you giving them a rose? (I have no idea if you're still active or not; sorry if I'm bothering you!)

Mori:

It fits his aesthetic, so he approves.

Chuuya

Torn between liking the aesthetic and being pissed, because he’s a MANLY MAN goddammit!

Kouyou

She fucking LOVES flower symbology

Akutagawa

Your head’s no longer attached to your body

Higuchi

“UwU, no ones ever given me flowers before...”

Gin

Uses the thorns to shank you

Hirotsu

Accepts it with old man charm

Kajii

Takes it as an opportunity to over share everything he’s done that week

Would have preferred a lemon though

Tachihara

“Bitch, I don’t need no flowers!”

[shittybsdimagines]

Tried to make something as a header image, and I find this way funnier than I should.

[shittybsdimagines]

Reactions of Dazai, Kunikida, Yosano, Kouyou, Mori and Chuuya when they catch their fem s!o staring at a fine ass while out with them? Will they get angry? Join in? Thanks!

Dazai:

“😏👌haha nice”

Might laugh it off, might join in, might brutally murder her tonight and make it so that nobody will ever find her corpse. Depends on the day, really.

Kunikida:

He’s pissed

This sets his schedule back by.0005 seconds when she takes the time to stare. He can’t afford that much of a set back, when they’ve already had a 2 second delay, because somebody can’t walk at his preferred pace.

Yosano:

She can appreciate a fine ass, so she’ll let it slide, this time.

Kouyou:

She’ll never forgive her.

“This is why I don’t believe in love. I let you be in my glorious presence, let you into my house, pay for a meal, and this is how you repay me. You fowl wench. I thought you were a fine lady such as myself, not some common prostitute. But I was mistaken. Such betrayal will not stand, you are dead to me and soon you will be dead to the world.”

Mori:

“😊🙃 prepare to die”

Or

“That’s not very innocent yet snarky loli of you”

Chuuya:

That’s it, either his girlfriend is about to square up, or ass-owner will. He’s not open to any other solution.

[shittybsdimagines]

How would Odasaku react to you hitting on him

A blank stare and polite rejection

[shittybsdimagines]

The guild’s reaction to being stuck in an elevator for hours

Hi, sorry for the long wait, I kind of gave up on this blog for a while, but today I was like I might as well try. ( warning, these are really bad, which is the point, but like not in the way I’m going for, y’know? Not memelicious enough)

Fitzgerald:

Tries to bribe the elevator

When that doesn’t work, he calls Alcott crying and she has to go talk to the operators.

Lucy:

Immediately uses her ability to get out

Alcott:

Starts crying immediately

Just does not stop crying

Hawthorne:

Tries to pray his way out.

Mitchell:

You bet your ass she’s going to sue the company that’s running the elevator

Steinbeck:

Just sighs and thinks about how this is just his luck, and curses capitalism and its shoddy elevator operating

Lovecraft:

Doesn’t even notice for at least half an hour

Once he does, he uses his unholy eldritch powers to bust the fuck out of there.

Twain:

Spends the whole time making bad jokes to himself like the dumb bitch he is

[shittybsdimagines]

BSD Girls React to You Hitting on Them😘😏

Yosano

Gives you an impromptu “treatment”

Kyouka

Stares at you blankly until you leave

?????

She’s fourteen.

Naomi

“The only man for me is Nii-sama” 😒

Is down for a threesome though

Kouyou

“I am a flower of darkness, Only blooming in darkness. I don’t do love. Or any of the activities that go along with it”

Is actually down, as long as you pay her afterward.

Higuchi

Are you Akutagawa-senpai? No? That’s what I thought.

Gin

Doesn’t dignify it with a response

Elise

Mori kills you

Lucy

“It’s not like I appreciate the attention or anything, B....Baka”

Margaret

Loses interest as soon as she figures out you’re not rich.

Louisa

Starts crying from anxiety

[shittybsdimagines]

Please send in requests for scenarios.

[shittybsdimagines]

Having a Baby with BSD Boys ❤️😩❤️

Dazai

“wait, you thought this was a serious relationship lmao”

Doesn’t pay child support

Refuses to talk to the kid (and you for that matter)

Did send your kid a postcard that said “I DO NOT wish you were here lmao” with five bucks in it once, though. It was weird.

Atsushi

Passes the fuck out when you tell him you’re pregnant

“I’m not ready to be a father!” Stays with you anyway ( pussy)

Once dropped the baby when you hand it to him

Kunikida

Puts you under house arrest the moment you tell him you’re pregnant

Has you on a strict diet

The only forms of entertainment your kid is allowed to enjoy are PBIS kids and classical music

Kenji

Still doesn’t know where babies come from

You go to prison

Ranpo

“Eh, not interested. Bye.”

Fukuzawa pays the child support for him

Fukuzawa

Is stoked to add another child to his collection

Tempted to kill you to keep the orphan aesthetic though

Akutagawa

Calls you whore for getting pregnant

Doesn’t want a kid because it’s just more competition for Dazai-san’s approval, and he’s not willing to risk that.

Threatens to beat them up when Dazai smiles at them one time

Mori

Is more interested in the kid than you

Already has like two hundred dresses waiting for them 

He still loves Elise more though

Chuuya

“I’m pregnant” “ yeah, and what do you want me to do about it”

Teaches the kid how to fight people as soon as they can walk

Sometimes brings them to the bar with him

[shittybsdimagines]

Having a Baby with BSD Boys ❤️😩❤️

Dazai

“wait, you thought this was a serious relationship lmao”

Doesn’t pay child support

Refuses to talk to the kid (and you for that matter)

Did send your kid a postcard that said “I DO NOT wish you were here lmao” with five bucks in it once, though. It was weird.

Atsushi

Passes the fuck out when you tell him you’re pregnant

“I’m not ready to be a father!” Stays with you anyway ( pussy)

Once dropped the baby when you hand it to him

Kunikida

Puts you under house arrest the moment you tell him you’re pregnant

Has you on a strict diet

The only forms of entertainment your kid is allowed to enjoy are PBIS kids and classical music

Kenji

Still doesn’t know where babies come from

You go to prison

Ranpo

“Eh, not interested. Bye.”

Fukuzawa pays the child support for him

Fukuzawa

Is stoked to add another child to his collection

Tempted to kill you to keep the orphan aesthetic though

Akutagawa

Calls you whore for getting pregnant

Doesn’t want a kid because it’s just more competition for Dazai-san’s approval, and he’s not willing to risk that.

Threatens to beat them up when Dazai smiles at them one time

Mori

Is more interested in the kid than you

Already has like two hundred dresses waiting for them

Chuuya

“I’m pregnant” “ yeah, and what do you want me to do about it”

Teaches the kid how to fight people as soon as they can walk

Sometimes brings them to the bar with him