Cosmic Funnies
izzy's playlists!
JVL
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
Today's Document
pixel skylines
⁂
DEAR READER
Janaina Medeiros
ojovivo
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
noise dept.
Three Goblin Art
YOU ARE THE REASON
Product Placement
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
occasionally subtle
Mike Driver
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from Germany
seen from United States
@shootmelikeyoumeanit
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
My secretary made this for me.
Got a case? Well, go on. I don't have all day.
[ END OF TRANSMISSION ]
Oh great you’re here!!
[ Anon drops a small sewer rabbit that suspiciously resembles small fry in your lap ]
I found this little guy hopping about in Old Town! He had one of your business cards in his mouth, so I assumed you must be his owner!
[ I stared at the small rabbit curled up on my lap. He looked... So familiar. It'd been a couple years since the whole fiasco in Old— Newtown. It couldn't be the same rabbit, but... Yeah, he was pretty damn similar. Carefully, I removed the small business card held between its two jagged front teeth, and sighed. ]
"Where'd you get this from, huh? You got a case for me to solve, pequeño? Yeah?"
"Uh. Yeah. I'll take him. Figure out where he's from, and how he found this card... Thanks for bringing him in."
Opinions on Perseus Shah?
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
... Seriously? Again? Ransom, I know it's you, goddammit.
You want my opinion? Alright. Here's a Juno Steel original. A real hot take.
If I see that shade of green in that particular man's hair, I'm not talking to him for the rest of the week. Lady's gotta have his standards, and said standards start with "no green hair".
[ END OF TRANSMISSION ]
(begging you to get me started) UGH don't get me started.......
Who the hell is cecil?
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
You're kidding. Huh, alright.
Well, if you wanna get a feel for who Cecil is, you gotta understand who his family is, The Kanagawas.
To put it simply, they're a little mobster family that make it their mission to air out their dirty laundry on every screen, billboard, and useless product to ever exist on Mars. They own one the biggest entertainment networks, and are half the reason I don't want TV anymore.
With that, Cecil's got one of the most well known programs. Lot of his shows have been keeping the Kanagawa's empire afloat since they won't give slots back to his sister, Cassandra, and the murder of their father, Croesus. Just— Imagine you took a highlighter, pumped it full with enough crazy to make it start beheading the other highlighters in the pack, and gave it a few million creds for its service, and you have Cecil Kanagawa. Oh, not to mention, the highlighter's got the smarts of a Hyperion U professor. Have fun mulling that over.
He's got a couple of cute titles for his programs, such as: “Coliseum 2: We Gave the Lion a Gun And You Won’t Believe What Happens Next.” and "Wheel of Friction: The Shocking Spinner!" and "From The Jaws of Death!" Perfect for a family kill-your-brain-and-watch-the-blood-pour-out reality show marathon.
[ END OF TRANSMISSION ]
ANON MAGIC!!!
[ Anon has put you into a waiting room at a government building for the next two hours. Have fun waiting ]
[ Familiar blue smoke plumes upward from seemingly nowhere. It clouds my vision, and I feel my stomach drop. Oh, Krishna, here we go again... ] . . . [ Once the smoke clears, I glance around the drab interior of some kind of building. Hell, these magic wielders are getting out of hand... First, they turn me into a goddamn cat, and now, I get banished to... Wherever the HELL this was! ] [ Okay, breathe, not the weirdest place you've been. You've been inside an alien car's liquid stomach cavity. You can handle a weird, liminal building. ] [ A short stroll through the unchanging hallways led me into a waiting room. On the wall, hung with as much pride as someone's drying underwear, was the city's crest. ] "Hyperion City, The City of First Light..." [ I muttered, reading the scratched, fading plaque on the wall below the crest. ] [ It didn't take a genius to realize where I was, but I'll spell it out for you anyway. I was stuck in the waiting room of Hyperion's branch of the Martian Service Centre. A government building meant to deal with legal troubleshooting, all while they sucked the life out of you, hour by fatal hour. ] [ Well, stakeouts weren't new. Well, I never liked them, but I'd still do it. Grumbling, obviously, but whatever. Two hours would go by like a breeze... Or, so I told myself. ]
executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather
[ Cuts all your shirts and turns them into crop tops ]
Hehehehe
"Uhhh..."
[ In front of me, I held half of an old band shirt in front of me. Usually, it was one of my socks going missing, not part of my actual shirts. ]
"What the... What the hell??"
[ As I went through my clothes, drawer by drawer, I realized none of my clothes had the other half. They were all sliced down the middle to look like crop tops. ]
"Goddammit... What the hell am I supposed to wear today? I don't have anything to match crop tops..."
Mx. Mod!
A name? Is that what you're after? LOL No.
The mystery is all part of the funnnn!
[ OOC POST ]
Ahhhhhhh, okay well can I just say your dedication to this— especially since you are most likely a stranger on the internet— is absolutely insane. Your asks are the highlight of my day.
Anytime I receive an ask from you I immediately go and excitedly yap about it to the mod of @shootmelikeyoumeanit (not apologizing for the tag. Deal with <3)
If you won’t give me a name, could I get an alias you’d like to be referred to as? ‘Cause as much as mystery anon suits you, it doesn’t role off the tongue well.
WOOT WOOT RED ANON MY FUCKING GOAT ‼️‼️
dude i love when this mxster pops up and just sends those asks THEYRE SO PEAK
My dear Juno,
Tonight I will be meeting, alone, with our red mystery Anon. I need you to promise me you will not get yourself involved, no matter the circumstance or outcome of this meeting.
Tonight your safety is what matters to me most. Which is why I have taken the measure of locking you in your office for the night.
There are timed locks on your windows and door that will open at 05:00. In your closet you will find bedding, dinner, and a bottle of your favourite whiskey. I do hope you will forgive me for this, however I know if I didn’t do this… Well you know how stubborn you are.
Yours,
Nureyev | @thethiefwithnoname
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
What...
What? Nureyev.
[ SOUND OF THE DOOR RATTLING AND A NEGATIVE BEEP. FOOTSTEPS. SOUND OF THE WINDOW RATTLING AND A NEGATIVE BEEP. ]
You can't be serious. Let me out! This guy, group, whatever, they're dangerous! You know that! You can't just go up against them with no backup! You're smarter than just walking straight into a goddamn trap!
Let me out of my damn office and we can figure something out. Come on. I said I was here to help you, so let me help. We can figure something out, goddammit.
[ COMMS FAILED ]
. . .
[ The screen of my comms blinks scarlet like martian sand. My fingers trembled against the sides of it. High pitched beeps clashed and overlapped with that familiar, panicked ringing. He'd done it again. Skipped away and try to take on the reaper himself. I knew a thing or two about fight of that caliber. Eventually, from all the bumps and bruises, you figure out you can't punch or shoot your way out of the grave without some help. So, here I was. Ready to chase Peter Nureyev to the grave once again. Except, I sure as hell wasn't gonna let either of lay in it , nor was I going in without a plan. ]
[ But, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Steel. First things first, my office was my own makeshift prison. I just needed to plan out my jailbreak. ]
"Okay. Focus. Windows... Windows are locked. Either you break through them, or..."
[ The office wasn't too far up, only three stories up from the sidewalk. Anyone else could just climb down and be done with it. Hell, window's weren't that much to replace. The problem with that was it felt more like three million stories from all the way up here. Just the idea of sticking my head out of it was enough for my stomach make a break for my throat. ]
"Eeehh..."
[ So, the window idea was a bust. That left the doors. I wasn't sure what these new locks were made of, or how they worked. It would take too much time to figure it. Luckily, I didn't have to. My blaster came out of its holster, and a lazer found a new home in the floorboards. Right through the lock. ]
"Bam. Ain't no thang..."
[ That was step one of this unraveling plan. The next step was making the actual plan, and I had just the woman on speed dial. ]
Hey Steel, remember that time you missed that target back in the HCPD?
- Falco
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
OKAY. LOOK. IT HAPPENED ONCE. ONCE.
I WASN'T EXACTLY SOBER WHEN YOU CALLED ME IN AND I PUT THE WRONG GODDAMN LAZER CARDS INTO MY DAMN BLASTER. I WOULD'VE GOTTEN THAT SHOT ANY OTHER DAY, I SWEAR.
...
I'm not bitter. Whatever. Thanks for the reminder, Falco.
[ END OF TRANSMISSION ]
goddddd and i just UGH but also UGHHHHH and aughhhh.... oughhhhhhhhh...... ACK !!! and.... aghhhhhhhh. ughhhhh ! UGH !!!!! and i can't even because AGHHHHHHH. UGHHH
Mr. Steel!
Time and time again, you have meddle with our mission. You have put yourself on our radar, and proven to be quite the nuisance. Aiding Mr. Nureyev in his escapes, you and your associate. Time wasted on re-aligning our attempts, and working around you, is money wasted. Money wasted is bad for business.
So, what will be done?
It seems the only option is to remove you, and if further retaliation is observed, your associate, from the equation.
Then, all our efforts can be focused on our main objective.
I recommend you get your affairs in order, Mr. Steel. You will be hearing from us soon.
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
Ugh. First, you gas my office, and now you send me a threat. I'm waiting for you to actually, y'know, do something that works. So far, just kinda seems like you guys are fumbling around. You're running out of tactics and time, and you need this wrapped up.
Hell of a job you're doing on that, by the way. I'm letting my partner in crime know about the absolute bang up job you guys are doing in taking us out.
Mark my words though, you aren't taking either of us alive. We are going to beat you. Ain't a goddamn thing you can do to stop us.
Hear from your later, copy-of-a-copy. Let's see what you got.
[ END OF TRANSMISSION ]
*you get a new transmission. Cecil is sitting again.*
"Now let's try that one more time~"
*he sets a hand under his chin and spins some fabric idly with his other hand*
"I've got a new show for you, with a very special guest."
*he grabs the fabric and yanks it down, Rita's necktie pulling her into frame by the neck. She's gaged this time. He looks directly into her eyes, looking down at her*
"Isn't that right?"
@marshan-megalomaniac
[ INCOMING TRANSMISSION ]
Goddammit, Cecil. Let her go.
You can take whatever pieces you want out of me, but you leave her the hell out of this, you get me?
... Mmm, dammit.
I'm coming to get her. Get that goddamn gag off her, Cecil. I'm not kidding.
Awh, but wheres the show in that?
Proper drama is made in blood, love, betrayal, and DESPERATION
that's the key really. Place a man on the brink and any standards break. He will do things he never would do before, whatever it takes. And THAT-
...Makes good television
Oh, bullshit. That's not good television. It's the same shit your family always produced just with another named slapped on the front of it.
[ SIGH ]
...Look. Just— What do you want? I just want Rita back safe.
my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got
“an escape room as a teammate/coworker bonding experience” that sounds like saw. You are describing saw to me.
REBLOG IF YOU HAVE AN RP BLOG I CAN SPAM WITH ASKS
perferably WITH the blog but you guys do you
