Mermaidian
Oceanic
Vibrant and swift like the tide
Willowy and determined
Your fairytale princess
Is not my mermaid
Your singing siren
Is not my force of nature
RMH
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@shoutingghost
Mermaidian
Oceanic
Vibrant and swift like the tide
Willowy and determined
Your fairytale princess
Is not my mermaid
Your singing siren
Is not my force of nature
Writing in the bath
Like the words could blow away in the blizzard
Taken before I’ve penned them down
Lost to the elements
I’m an adventurer
A poetess
A champion
And I will hunt my words throughout time and space
To paint my life story
On a blank page
I slipped up
Worse for wear
Missed a week of writing
Maybe it’ll seem finite in the end,
But how do I cage my talent and shape it into words if I don’t commit
I’m my longest relationship
My brain is my strongest companion
I try to write instead of waking you
Put pen to paper
Create something worthy of your attention
But I just wanna hold your hand and snuggle into your chest
Breathe you in
Endlessly
I catch myself crying all too often
For the purest joy
I can’t sleep because I’m anxious and excited
I just want you close
But I have to be brave so that you’re proud
2/23/18 is the new date for me to remember
Like I ever forgot 9/7/16.
But we’ve evolved
I wonder when I’ll tell you that I stalled bc I didn’t love the date
It seems too mundane
But I love you the most
And I caved pretty easily
Bc any day with you is better than the last
The girl with blue hair
Green hair
Silver hair
Who cares
I love my hair
But it isn’t me
Look past the hair dye
I’m not some enigma
Finally happy with where I’m at
A miracle to me
I’ve spent sleepless nights crying at my reflection
Scared of the future
Alone with my anxiety
And somehow I’ve pulled through
To blossom
And lead the way
Because we haven’t all made it through
And I’m here to help you love yourself
Write every day
Doodle
Scribble
Scream
Carve
Waste those supplies
So that my soul can see the light
Let the sun shine through my cracks
And light up the room
Waiting at the gate
Like my life is about to be changed
Home renovation style
Welcome home
Meet your match
Aren’t you happy now?
Is this what you’ve been missing?
That last puzzle piece.
Anxiety
What a simple word for a life changing experience
Mornings make me sick
New places make me dizzy
New routes are impossible
I have to know
So I can prepare
My stomach is my enemy
And my mind plays war games
I take little pills to drown it out
But I can’t vanquish my demons
My stomach empty, my hands twitching
Here’s to tomorrow,
No matter how small I feel
I want to do everything for you
And make you happier than you’ve ever dreamt
But I’m small and tired
And nobody sees me like you do
So even though I have confidence
I’m not a miracle worker
And I feel emptier
When I’m away from you
What kind of family should make me feel so alone for who I am
This is your blood that’s full of sickness
You can’t blame me for my genetics
I just wish they held me up like you can
Because I’d already be among the stars
I’ve always admired the moon
The strength of the Greek Artemis
The source of the ocean’s tides
Shining among the stars
As a beacon for the truest hope
But now the moon isn’t just celestial,
It’s home
And one day we can hold her
How do you give a gift
To someone who means more than any trinket
Any string of words
Or patterns of paint
How do I frame my literal soul and place it in your outstretched hands for safe keeping?
I write to make you understand
To put my voice on paper
And you still don’t get it
Why treat me like an equal
When you can stifle my growth a while longer
It’s fun to have someone to complain about
Isn’t it?
My words fall short
Hold music
Elevator noise
Something to tide you over
Why won’t my words set fire to your soul
You have questions
And I can’t give you all the answers
I’ll mask my pain for you
But know that I was told to go
And didn’t plan on running
I hope this doesn’t scare you
I’m just trying to be honest
You deserve better
And I’ll try and be that
But I had some growing to do,
And everything happens for a reason.
I came back home in the end
Didn’t I?
I’ll answer your questions
But I have some of my own
I should write for you
Cry for you
Wonder
But I feel guilty for my feelings
Would I care even half so much
If you could still be a mother
A sister
A daughter
A wildcard
Even at my worst, you and the others help me
To continue my fight
Because the storms fade to rainbows
And love only grows
Paisley loves you
Thanks for your starlight