i'm shrimp & i use the internet

he/ve/it/dude/bro/that thing ~ i’m a dumbass. i’m hated by god. i was diagnosed with annoying bitch disease at birth. i self identify as a deplorable bastard. a fag, queer, whatever. i’m gnawing on your walls from the inside out. i’ve been wanted by the government since 2007. i’m the biggest clown in the room at any given function. there is no method to my madness. you’ll be sorry to have ever had the misfortune of stumbling upon this accursed blog.

[shrimpothy]

sometimes i refer to myself in the 3rd person

and by sometimes i mean kind of a lot

PLEASE STOP ASKING ME FOR DONATIONS I AM A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT WITH HEALTH ISSUES 😭😭😭

i would if i could but i can’t so instead i just feel like shit about something entirely out of my control, especially bc of my moral scrupulosity issues ;-; so pls just respect that :[[

🦐 more under the cut 🦐

18 ~ don’t care who interacts as long as they don’t make me uncomfortable n shit :] and even then i’m willing to just like…talk about it lmao. so yeah

‘shrimp’ is op’s online persona, and not my real name.

shrimp uses all pronouns in his bio, but mainly refers to himself using he/him, to make it easier on his audience to understand who he is referring to (himself)

(i’m gonna hope that made sense..)

explaining tags:

this is a certified shrimpothy post — original shrimp thoughts/not a rb, etc. (note: some original posts won’t be tagged with this, usually just bc i don’t deem the post important or interesting enough)

there are many benefits to being a shrimp — my dumb take on the ‘benefits to being a marine biologist’ meme. funny or positive things relating to either myself or real shrimp lol

there appear to be some disadvantages to being a shrimp — a gag of the above. basically just the opposite of that tag.

shrimp says some dumb shit — pretty self explanatory methinks

shitpost? more like shrimppost — mostly shrimp originals that are shitposty or shitpost adjacent

shrimp says it’s time to get unconscious — a reference to @/i-am-a-fish ’s post of the same verbiage wherein fish (or in this case, shrimp) is tired, about to go to sleep, etc etc etc and anything else that may elude or be relevant to sleep/sleeping/sleepiness

(these pronouns are getting out of hand /j ref (if you use those pronouns or something similar just know that shrimp loves you /gen p))

note - it may be relevant to add that shrimp is a chronically fatigued insomniac so there may be mentions of disability or disorder induced exhaustion and whatnot under this tag as well. shrimp also sometimes sleeps as a coping mechanism, has an ever fluctuating sleep schedule, and may tend to keep odd waking hours. basically shrimp is, to his very core, eepypilled.

shrimp is too lazy to add the rest of the tags at the moment…but he will at some point

find shrimp elsewhere even though he never posts there…yet

shrimpstagram

shrimptube

[mushroominawaterbottle]

there is the line between bisexual and aroace and i am using it as a jump rope

[hugsohugs]

one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

[druidshollow]

HAVE THAT CHARACTER GAIN WEIGHT AS A SIGN OF HEALING: NOW

[josephbrassey]

“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”

Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.

“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”

Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.

“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”

You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?

One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.

The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.

And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.

And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.

[gudamor]

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[mousidy]

the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[transmasc-theory]

Most of society only sees trans men as trans, but most of the queer community only sees trans men as men.

Trans men don't get to be both trans and men. They are one or the other depending on which one can be better used to hurt them.

[imjunebitch]

if u call urself a misandrist I'm going to assume ur homophobic. I'm gonna assume that ur at the very least weird about trans women like me, that you're going to judge them based on how they pass, on how out they are, on what level of transition they are at. I'm gonna assume ur racist too. like. idk "misandry" very feels like the sorta "feminism" someone is really into when they're in high school and carefully making sure to never think about anything.

[queer-as-in-fuck-12]

drug addicts deserve housing, food, water, and healthcare btw

[bramblebeau]

arise queers

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[laterkiss]

happy pride month 🏳️‍🌈

[scarlct-vvitch]

grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)

rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it

[possuminnit]

tomodachi life let me do two different sub colors on hair pleaseee

[everyhstrans]

~ATH is trans