new girl sentence starters
feel free to change any pronouns or alter the quotes to suit your muse’s dialogue.
“Okay, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.”
“So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.”
“Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.”
“Yeah, I mean he seemed like a really nice…European DJ with a face tattoo.”
“’Eye of the Tiger’ ended the cold war.”
“That’s not even a little bit true.”
“Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.”
“Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”
“It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere.”
“I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”
“Pine has no place in this loft! It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses!”
“I want to kill you, because I respect you.”
“Put on some pants or at least some really high socks.”
“You like me? You like my personality?”
“Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”
“Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.”
“I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?”
[ sarcastically ] “No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage.”
“You care about burritos more than my children?”
“I don’t celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it,White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”
“______ said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.”
“I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”
“Where are your nipples, man?”
“I wish I knew what was going on in his head. He’s like a…grumpy mystery.”
“There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…”
“I didn’t really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.”
“Burn them! Burn them all!”
“I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out _________’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.”
“We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.”
“When you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment–”
“No no, let’s hear him out.”
“I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
“After we saw the movie “Titanic,” he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.”
“My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks.”
“I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.””
“She’s on a flip phone. I mean, she’s either poor or a time traveler.”
“Guys, we’ve gone soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams!”
“Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”
“I’m gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ‘Ew, why did you say moist? I hate that word.’ And then I’m gonna be like, ‘Taste the cake.’ And they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist!’”
“I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.”
“There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson — I lost a bet.”
“____ calls birds “wind-mice.” He says “yahtzee” when he climaxes. He calls turtles “shell-beavers.””
“I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!”
“If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!”
“Sponges make me feel exhilarated.”
“I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”
“I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.”
“Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.”
“I’m going to name the baby “Baby” because it’s funny.”
“I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.”
“You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.”
“Look! It’s a baby bird! Oh, it’s a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional.”
“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.”
“If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”
“OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.”
“I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.”
“Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.”
“Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?”
