Raspberries and Wine (a.k.a I Can't Believe I Did This)
SO I WAS HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT ALEX AND KAEDE AND I WROTE SOMETHING SO I’M SORRY
SHIPPY SHIT UNDER THE CUT
Cooking wine was certainly an ingredient to behold. Alexander loved working with it, and the way it imparted the richness and subtlety of flavor to any dish he was creating. He would almost venture to say that cooking wine was one of his favorite things to cook with. However, he wasn’t working with the cooking wine at that moment.
He shuddered slightly as he knocked back a mouthful of cooking wine, leaning his head back against the kitchen wall. Alexander held the bottle of cooking wine firmly in his hand, not allowing the shivers to overtake his body. It was time for this to be over now, wasn’t it? So many good people, gone. Taken by tragedy. The tragedy of circumstance. It made him sick.
"Fuck…" Alex mumbled under his breath. He rubbed his temple firmly, attempting to distract his thoughts. Wasn’t that the point of the cooking wine? To try and distract himself? There was too much injustice for him. Perhaps if his constitution had been different, he would have taken his own life. But that wasn’t something he could do.
Sitting in the hotel kitchen hadn’t felt the same since a dead body had been discovered there, but it was still some sort of sanctuary. He wanted Soumei and Hana to have the dorm, so Alex spent more and more time alone in the kitchen working in solitude upon his own business. Alexander missed his mother and his dad, he missed his best friends and his godcousins, he missed everyone at home.
As Alex was taking another drink from the cooking wine bottle, he heard someone slip into the kitchen. He let his eyes slip shut, hoping that maybe he could disappear if he didn’t look at this uninvited guest. Of course, Alexander had no such luck. He heard soft steps come up to his side, then the soft thump of someone taking a seat.
Alexander recognized that voice, and his eyes snapped open. There next to him was seated Kaede Masagaru, the SHSL Nature Artist. Oh god. The chef’s cheeks suddenly flared with a blush—the sweet artist had caught him drinking.
"K-Kaede-san," he stammered. "I—uh—oh shit…" Alex looked down at the bottle of cooking wine in his hand.
Kaede looked up at his green eyes, his eyebrows twitching a little. “What are you drinking, Al-chan?” Kaede asked him innocently.
He gulped. “Er.” He hesitantly extended the bottle to Kaede, showing off the label—fine red cooking wine. The chef withdrew the bottle before Kaede could inspect it any further, setting it at his side and putting his hands over his face. “I’m sorry.”
There was a beat of silence, then the soft scuffle of scooting. Kaede’s body heat radiated against Alexander’s side for a brief moment before he felt the tender embrace of the artist’s arms around his shoulders. He tensed for a moment before relaxing.
"I, Kaede, forgive you," he mumbled into Alex’s shoulder.
Maybe it was the intonation of the phrase against his skin that soothed him, or perhaps it was that it was Kaede who uttered it, but there was something spiritual in how it felt to hear him say it. Alex reached up and touched Kaede’s hair gently, leaning his cheek against the artist’s head. Was the alcohol getting to him? Or was this just… the place which he belonged?
Kaede let out a soft giggle at Alex’s touch. “Al-chan, I have a question,” he sang softly. “I got an item from the Monomachine—I think you’ll really like it!” He let go of Alex briefly, a sensation Alex didn’t like, to produce a plastic clamshell of raspberries and set it on his lap. “I, Kaede, was wondering if you would like to share them with me?”
The chef blinked, popping open the clamshell and pulling out a plump berry. It did appear to be a raspberry, as it appeared. Alex sniffed it, then stuck it in his mouth. It was so tender and ripe that the slightest pressure of his tongue seemed to melt the fruit into its essential flavors in his mouth. A smile pulled at his mouth, and he chuckled lowly.
"They’re good," he remarked. "Would you like some, Kaede-san?"
"I’d love to try some if you think that they’re good!" Kaede chirped. He snapped one up and popped it between his lips, humming immediately at the flavor. "Mmm—! Al-chan, it’s delicious!" The young boy giggled, eliciting the extension of Alexander’s smile significantly.
"It certainly is." He picked up another berry, but extended it to Kaede instead. "Try this one, I bet it’s good."
As Kaede picked up the berry from his palm and ate it, Alex picked up his wine bottle again and took a sip. The wine now tasted especially bitter in comparison to the sweet berries, but Alex wasn’t sure he cared. Kaede lifted up his head and frowned softly at Alex.
"Al-chan…" Kaede extended a hand to Alexander. He knew this silent cue. In that moment, he saw the caring eyes of his mother on Kaede Masagaru. There was something too compelling in the request, and Alex handed the bottle over to Kaede. Kaede’s brow softened, and he set the bottle aside where Alex couldn’t get at it. Seeing Kaede’s expression brighten up, it was like a ray of sunshine. His stomach churned from the warmth of alcohol and the tingle of sweetness in his mouth. Why was he feeling comforted…?
"Good job, Al-chan!" Kaede cheered. "Let’s have some more of those raspberries, okay? Since they’re so delicious! I don’t know if they’ll keep if we don’t eat them!"
"Sure, Kaede-san," Alex nodded.
Quietly, they began to eat the raspberries. It was a very calming sort of sensation, sitting with Kaede and eating the summery fruit. He wished that he could keep this moment with him forever, and just return to it when times troubled him too greatly. As they got down to the bottom of the box, Kaede popped the last berry between his lips and held it there.
"Al-chan," he chirped around the berry. "Do you want it?" Kaede giggled, teasingly leaning his head forward to Alexander.
A glamour seemed to come over Alexander’s eyes. Immortalized in his mind was a snapshot of this artist, lightly dripping raspberry held between his lips. He could have reached out for it, but that wasn’t what struck his alcohol-addled brain first.
The chef tilted his head slightly, sitting up from against the kitchen wall. “Kaede…” Alexander licked his lips, squinting a little. He leaned down, bringing his face to Kaede’s level, then fell forward with some purpose and put his lips against Kaede’s. The raspberry squished between their mouths, juice running down Alex’s chin before Kaede’s hand came up to wipe it away. They were kissing each other, or Alex was kissing Kaede and there seemed to be no argument.
Kaede drew back a little bit, licking off his lips of the raspberry remains while he looked on at Alex. There was a tense moment of silence before Alex wiped clean his own lips. A sigh passed out of him, and he bowed his head.
"Kaede-san, I’m so—I’m tired. I’m so tired… I’m sorry…"
Kaede leaned his forehead against Alex’s, touching the chef’s cheek gently. “Al-chan,” he whispered, “please don’t be sorry.” The nature artist planted a tender kiss on Alex’s nose before nesting his head against Alexander’s neck. “It’s okay, okay?”
Alexander put his arm around Kaede’s shoulders, pulling him close. Were there tears pricking at his eyes? “Don’t leave me, please?” He murmured. “I can’t be alone here, not anymore, I don’t want to… go on like this…”
He felt the pressure of a soft nod against his shoulder, then a nuzzle against his cheek. “I, Kaede, will do my best to stay with you always, Al-chan!” There was such hope in those words, such a tender happiness. Alexander wanted to believe in him.
Alex pulled Kaede close to his chest, hugging the smaller boy as if he was his last hope. Because in a way, he was. There was only Kaede. There were raspberries and cooking wine, and Kaede. That was all that he could think about for now. The nature artist, his lively warmth, his bright smile and speech patterns. He was a reason, and a reason was all Alexander Moore-McGowan needed.
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