As a child, people made so much fun about the month I was born in. Even my closest, especially my closest. So much that I started hating my birthdate and wishing it was something else. Anything but that. But the only reason for me disliking the date was their take on it, not because I actually disliked it.
Apparently there's this thing called April fools day that's celebrated on the first of that month. It's funny, the day, though I hadn't been much fond of it and neither the people who made fun of my birthdate. They preached about how ridiculous this day is and how sinful lying is, all the while calling me a fool as I was born in April.
It has never been new to be honest, them calling me dumb, slow witted, and so many slurs which I don't even have the words for in English. A person who's somehow a professor indirectly called me mentally ill when I was 15 years old. Even though the explanation was plain and simple as to why I am the way I am.
They reminded me again and again that I was born in a month of fools, made it the reason why i act the way i do. I didn't let it show how much it affected me, it was embarassing, getting offended at something like this. Somehow because of that I gaslit myself into thinking how negative my birth is and every next April of my life.
On my ninth birthday, someone who lived nearby passed away. Since that day I've been counting every bad thing that happens to others in this month, even the history. I couldn't see any good, stopped wanting to, called myself a curse, stopped wanting to celebrate my birthday at all.
I'm twenty now, and I find my birth date the prettiest, most beautiful, and favourite. It took some time, a lot of time actually to be able to feel this way, but I learned. It's not your birthday which is cursed, it's the people around you who curse your day because they can't fathom the positivity you carry, they taint you so that you'd be miserable like them.
I understand that now because I imagined my birthday without these people, and it included taking a day off, going on a morning walk, preparing myself a French toast for my breakfast and taking a long shower before wearing something nice later that day. And the rest of the day I treat myself with peace and surround myself with the people who actually love me and whom I love the most. And it's the most ideal birthday for me.
I still don't celebrate my birthday, because these people made it feel like anything but a celebration, so one day, when I'm free from them, I'll celebrate it, I won't wait for them to love and accept me, I'll bring myself my favourite cake and will celebrate my whole birthday month, because I think April is the most beautiful month I could've been born in.
-samm, 29th July 2026, 6:30 pm.
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