The Tower Is Guarded By A Powerful Seal

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[emil]

y'all have got to let people who did dumb bad shit learn from it and move on with their lives

[emil]

keeping track of one random furry's online identity because of obsessing over the shit they were involved with as a teenager is pathetic behavior and i can't believe so many people do this, like, religiously

[captain-price-returns]

A real page on the White House website

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

The American century of humiliation is goin great 👍

[schlarklezyaoi]

the among us show might genuinely be cinema i just watched a crewmate handle an actual fucking g-string

[schlarklezyaoi]

[schlarklezyaoi]

this show is rated tv-pg yet has shown multiple shots of a character flipping us off with both hands which has led me to believe every other tv-pg director is a coward

[schlarklezyaoi]

i spent the entire show joking with my boyfriend that paramount just didn’t actually monitor the show and just released it without actually caring about its contents. what do you mean that wasn’t really a joke.

[redacted-metallum]

I wanna pet a hyena so bad but that would not end well for anyone.

[devilswalkingstick]

u can trust me pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

[redacted-metallum]

Woaw... kittydogy hi patting uour head :)

[devilswalkingstick]

GOT U ARHRHRHEHEHEGRHEHEHGRH

[redacted-metallum]

ARRRGGHHH MY BONES

[my-dailydreams]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

have you ever met a celebrity irl?

yes

no

microcelebrity

kinda?

results

Remaining time: 1 day 14 hours

[longsightmyth]

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[deadgenerations]

must have been scary AF to have a tummy ache in like 468AD like uh oh is this the time I get to shit to death.... and then you just fart nasty

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 40

The Narrator (The Stanley Parable)

Megamind (Megamind)

Remaining time: 5 days 20 hours

[laterkiss]

happy pride to my favourite post on reddit

[beardedmrbean]

[hayleywilliamsfan84]

i keep laughing at the way that eridian culture in the movie and eridian culture in the book are not contradictory at all, if you accept that movie rocky is just a total FREAK

grace: boy i sure can't wait to meet other eridians haha! rocky, putting on a shirt for the first time in four years: rocky has something to tell grace but does grace promise not to be mad, question?

[specialagentartemis]

Consider also the opposite:

Grace: Hey, uh, Rocky…

Rocky: You have a question, Grace my best friend Grace?

Grace: yeah. um. Why does everyone else wear clothes and you. Don’t.

Rocky: oh. That’s because they’re mostly from 🎵🎵🎵 and people are weird about clothes there.

Grace: what

Rocky: in 🎵🎵🎵 they think it’s wrong to have your carapace uncovered in public. Which is stupid. It’s a CARAPACE who cares if your carapace is out. We all have one. My country understands this. I can’t help it if the space program was primarily organized by the 🎵🎵🎵 government because they’re the ones with power and resources so everyone who works at the space elevator thinks they need to wear clothes even when they don’t actually have to.

Grace: Rocky are you a nudist

Rocky: don’t know word. I’m 🎶🎵🎶 and also the Savior of Erid so the 🎵🎵🎵 guys can’t tell me I have to wear a shirt anymore. SUCK IT

(Meanwhile a significant chunk of Erid is going NOOOO THE GUY FROM THE NUDIST COUNTRY WAS THE ONE TO MAKE FIRST CONTACT??? While Rocky is like #FreeTheNipple and no one’s allowed to argue because he’s Savior of Erid)

[setulose]

Not to sound like a broken record but does it make anyone else viscerally angry how we realized in the very recent past that we can successfully eradicate devastating human-specific diseases (smallpox) yet now there's a million people telling you not to vaccinate your kids against measles. I know I know "everyone will not just" but also for real we could never have measles again if everyone would just be cool

[maxknightley]

I think as your job satisfaction gets lower and lower you should gain access to an increasingly broad and powerful suite of forbidden magic

[in-love-with-movies]

In the Heights (2021)